The Convenience of Lies

by K. A. Castillo

  The second I finish hanging up my house phone, my cell phone starts to ring. I eagerly look at the caller ID, and it's Shane. Man! When am I going to get the call I really want? Not wanting to be rude, I answer, “Hi Shane.”

  “Mackenzie!” He says as if he hasn't heard my voice for a decade.

  “What's up?” I ask, checking the time impatiently.

  “Cody and I are going to go watch 28 Days Later. You want to join?” I can tell from his enthusiasm and confidence that Shane is positive there's no way I'll refuse. I always hang out with them when they ask me to.

  “Isn't that the zombie movie you guys have wanted to drag me to?”

  “Yeah! You should come see it. It's going to be awesome!” I can hear Shane's typical enthusiasm in his voice.

  “Sorry, I can't today,” I say matter-of-factly.

  “WHAT?!?! Why not?!?” The boys never listen when I refuse something they want to do, but this time, I'm not going to relent. Fortunately, since they are not here, they won't be able to force me either.

  “Kira is coming home today. I need to hang out with her.” I feel like Shane should be able to understand this. I have seen him and Cody multiple times over the past few weeks, and I haven't seen Kira in two months. I'm also happy to have this excuse because I have absolutely no interest in seeing the movie; I've dodged that bullet.

  “Has she called you yet?” Shane asks with a calculating voice.

  “No, not yet. But she will soon.” I say, trying to sound more confident than I am.

  “How do you know you guys are going to hang out if she hasn't called you? Come on, watch the movie with us.” Shane has managed to weed out my biggest uncertainty, not that I'm going to let him know.

  “Kira has just gotten back from an international trip. I am sure I will hear from her once she's had a chance to rest. I'm sorry, I can't hang out with you guys today.”

  Shane finally realizes I am putting my foot down this time. “Alright… but you're missing out….” We hang up. I am totally fine with missing out on watching 28 Days Later. Catching up with Kira is much more important. I feel like the boys should be able to understand this.

  I pace around the house some more, watching the time. Half an hour crawls by, mocking the confidence I dug up for Shane. Maybe I should have taken him up on the movie after all. The house line rings. More hesitantly this time, I pick up the receiver, my heart pounding. “Hello?” I say tentatively, not sure what to expect.

  “Hey, Mackenzie.” My heart leaps at the familiar Russian accent. I can't believe my luck. “It's Kira.”

  “Hey Kira, ohmygosh, I'm so excited you're back!” I squeal out, hardly able to contain myself. Whatever fear I have has dissipated. She's called me, and no matter what, that's a good sign.

  “Yeah, it's so nice to be back,” Kira tells me. I'm surprised because Kira has talked so much about how she thinks Russia is better than America, and it had been six years since she was last there. So, I figured visiting Russia was like she finally got to go back home. “Do you want to hang out?”

  “Yes. YES I do!” My longing desires and my loneliness are finally coming to an end. “When do you want me to pick you up?”

  “Now would be fine,” I can hear a smile in her voice.

  “I'll be right over.” I congratulate myself on getting dressed and ready for the day before Kira called me because now I will get to see her as soon as possible. As soon as I hang up the phone, I put on my flip flops, grab my purse, and jump in my car. In less than five minutes, I'm at her house. I knock on her door. I'm so giddy, I'm squirming. In no time at all, Kira has opened the door, and we are giving each other a huge hug, the kind that only best friends can share.

  “Hi Mackenzie!” Kira says full heartedly. This reunion is better than I could have imagined.

  As we get into my car, I ask Kira, “Where do you want to go?” I figure I can let her decide since it's been so long since she was last here.

  “Let's go to Verdad High School. We can sit on the benches there and talk.” This sounds exactly like what I was hoping to hear. We are on the same page about needing to catch up.

  As we sit down, the first thing Kira asks me is, “Why didn't you join me in Russia? I asked my parents if they ever heard from you, and they said they hadn't.”

  “Well… I wasn't sure if you wanted me to join you.” I say this hesitantly. This topic is dangerously close to the fight we had last time we talked.

  “I KNEW something was going on. I knew I needed to get home,” Kira says with exasperation ringing in her voice.

  Surprised with her response, I say, “I didn't know if you were still mad at me!” I'm getting defensive now, in part because it seems like Kira is scoffing at my concern.

  “Why did you think that I was mad at you? I called you and said not to worry about it.” Kira seems genuinely confused.

  Doesn't Kira remember everything that happened before she left? “But then you texted me and said that 'nothing I could do could mend your broken heart.' ”

  Kira looks at me for a second. She seems like a deer caught in headlights. I can see that she's thinking, trying to figure out what happened. “I sent that text to Brent Andrews!”

  “Well, I got it. Didn't you get the text that I sent you asking you if you were still mad at me?”

  “No, Brent Andrews sent me that text. How do you know about this?” Kira seems genuinely flabbergasted. I can't believe my ears. It looks like I spent the past couple of months scared that my best friend hated me and didn't go to Russia, all because of a miscommunication.

  “It seems like somehow things got messed up, and you thought the text I sent you was from him,” I tell her. “Do you have our names saved in your mom's phone?” Kira's face falls as she realizes what happened.

  “No, I don't,” she says quietly. Her face is ashen. It looks like her caller ID was just showing phone numbers rather than our names, and she got the numbers mixed up. I can feel Kira's sorrow in the air. It's as if our hearts are reaching out to each other. She feels remorse that I thought she was mad at me this whole time, and I feel remorse for the same thing. How would this summer have gone differently if it wasn't for those two fatal texts?

  Unfortunately, there's not much we can do about it now, except for forgive and forget. So, we start filling each other in on what's been going on the past couple of months. I tell her about all that happened with Ramon, excluding the late night massages. Kira is contemplative, and then she says, “That just doesn't make sense because when someone loves another, there is just nothing that can keep the two apart.” Kira likes to exaggerate sometimes.

  After a long pause during which I am waiting to hear if she has any other thoughts on my situation regarding Ramon, Kira tells me a new piece of information, changing the topic sooner than I would like. “A window at Gameland was broken this morning.”

  My focus on Ramon shifts instantly. This news has obviously been weighing on Kira's mind this whole time. And I can see why it's fishy. The day Kira gets back from Russia, a window is broken at Gameland. It looks like YMS didn't do it this time, but someone who knows what is going on at Gameland did. Whoever it was probably knew that Kira was coming back. There's only one question left. “Who do you think did it?”

  “I don't know. Doesn't the timing seem odd?” Kira responds, reserved, like something's weighing her down.

  “Yes, it does,” I confirm. “When are you guys going to fix it?”

  “Oh, it's already being fixed. The first thing we did was call in a repair man.”

  “That's good at least….” I know that part of the fun vandals get out of causing damage is going back and seeing how long it lasts. This way, they won't be able to revel in their misdeed for too long.

  Eventually our conversation shifts to other things. Kira tells me about a boy she met in Russia who she found attractive and about how rude her cousin was to her the whole time she was there. I tell her about my antics with Cody and Shane. It is just like old time
s. I slowly become aware of a knot that's been inside my chest for the past two months because I feel it finally releasing and being replaced with a sense of peace and calm. I still have my best friend, and it's like no time has passed. We are still two peas in a pod.

  “Have you seen any movies this summer?” I ask Kira. A bunch of excellent ones have come out.

  “No, I wanted to ask you, have there been any good ones?” I can't believe how much she has missed.

  “Yes. We have to see Pirates of the Caribbean! I loved it!”

  “Is that the one with Orlando Bloom?” Kira seems interested.

  “Yes, he's in it. So is Keira Knightly.” Kira nods her head. “You also have to see Finding Nemo! That's a really big one that came out this summer. It's so good; everyone loves it.”

  “Do you want to go see one?” Kira asks me.

  “Now?” I am taken aback. But then I remember, this is how Kira is. She is spontaneous. It's one of the things that draws me to her.

  “Yeah, why not? If that's okay.” She has misread my surprise as reluctance. I hurriedly assure Kira that I'm totally down to go see a movie, and we head over to the theatre. It looks like we have excellent timing because Finding Nemo is starting in ten minutes.

  I'm grinning from ear to ear. I can't wait to see Finding Nemo again, and I am excited to get to show it to Kira. Finding Nemo has been like a cultural revolution. EVERYBODY has seen it. I want her to be up to date, and I am jumping at the idea that I'm the one who is introducing it to her.

  After the movie is over, Kira enthusiastically assures me that she liked it. I look at the kiosks in front of the other theaters as we walk out, and see that Pirates is starting soon in a theatre we are passing by. “Oh, it looks like Pirates of the Caribbean is coming up in that theatre,” I inform Kira quietly.

  She knows exactly what I'm implying and gives me a devious sideways look. “Do you want to watch it?” She asks me, also quietly. I can see her eyes darting around to see if there are any theater employees working nearby. I decide to check to see if the coast is clear also. There's nobody in sight. The theatre is not busy because it's the middle of the day, and everybody is at work.

  We both come to the same conclusion at the same time. “Yes, I do want to watch it,” I say, a devious grin spreading across my face. Kira is grinning also. She grabs my arm, and we dart into the theater, giggling. We are both looking around to see if anybody will catch us, and nobody does. We are enthralled by our luck. As we examine the theatre, we can see there's only one other group of three in there. Perfect! We are getting away with this! We choose some seats towards the middle and sit down. This is my first time ever movie hopping, and I can feel my heart pounding with excitement. This is another thing that draws me to Kira; she is willing to be a little mischievous with me every once in a while. I feel like I'm in the clouds. Everything else that has happened doesn't matter. I have my best friend back, and we are enjoying ourselves in style.

  After Pirates is over, it has gotten rather late. I bid Kira farewell as I drop her off at her house. We are both glowing. This day couldn't have gone better.

  As I head home, Cody calls me on my cell, “Shane and I had an awesome time today.” It's like Cody is trying to make me feel guilty about not hanging out with him today. I pretend to miss this pretext.

  “That's good. I'm glad you guys enjoyed yourselves,” I say honestly.

  “You missed out. We went to Denny's, and Shane pulled a Meg Ryan.” He's referring to the diner scene in When Harry Met Sally when Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm. While it does sound amusing, I am resolute in thinking I made the right decision today.

  “Cody, this was my first time seeing Kira in two months. She just got back from Russia. I needed to see my best friend today,” I insist. I'm not going to give him the pleasure of knowing that it sounds like I would have had fun with them too. Even so, between the two options, Kira was the better choice.

  “So now that Kira is back from Russia, you aren't going to hang out with us anymore?” This seems a bit extreme. It was only ONE DAY, and it was the first chance I had to hang out with Kira in two months. Regardless, I can sense that Cody and Shane are feeling neglected.

  “No, that's not true. What are you guys doing tomorrow?” As a good friend, I need to make sure everyone feels included.

  “We really wanted to show you 28 Days Later, so we didn't see it today. Let's see it tomorrow!” Apparently I have not dodged that bullet. But, I figure I can do this with them as a way to make up for today.

  “Alrighty, sounds like a plan,” I say, knowing this will be the best way to make the boys feel better.

  “It's a plan!” Cody says enthusiastically. “I'll give you a call tomorrow!”

  Almost as soon as I get off the phone with Cody, I receive a phone call from Ramon, who wastes no time getting to the point. “Mackenzie, you know that we are just friends, right?”

  “Yes, I do know that,” I say, resigned.

  “I think of you as a friend, that's it. Alicia showed me the conversation you two had online. She made up what I said,” Ramon injects. I feel like my balloon has been popped. Suddenly I land back on Earth from the high I was in with Kira, and it's startling.

  “Okay, bye.” I drop my cell like it's a poisonous snake, and is responsible for the words that just came out of it. But, as soon as it lands, I pick it back up and call Kira. Thank goodness Kira is back! I've needed a girl who I could confide in. I feel like I've been lost in a swamp as I try to wade through this confusing world of boys all on my own.

  I tell Kira all that Ramon just said, and I find that I am actually not crying or anything. It's like I'm numb.

  Kira says, “Yeah, it just didn't seem right that he liked you, but he didn't want to be with you.”

  Right now, I feel like a fool. I looked like a fool when he gave me massages, and I look like a fool now because I still like Ramon even though he hasn't liked me back for many months. “What I need to do is seriously forget about him. Whenever I see Ramon, I just can't stop liking him. Until I find a new guy to invest my interests in, I need to stop hanging out with, or even talking to, Ramon. I won't be able to move on unless I find someone else to like, and that's not possible until I stop talking to Ramon.” He will keep unintentionally hurting me if I don't stop liking him.

  “Once you start liking a guy, you have trouble stopping,” Kira agrees with me. “You're right, just be a woman about it and don't yell his head off or something,” she says seriously.

  “Of course I will be good to Ramon, but I am still really mad at him. He fucking led me on all summer, and then hooked up with this other chick.”

  Resolutely, I call up Ramon and ask him to meet up with me. And so I find myself facing Ramon at Pureza Elementary. The part of the campus we meet at has a nice patio that is surrounded by grass and buildings, making it very private. There is a metal overhang to protect the patio from the outside elements, and lunch tables are set in rows. I sit myself down on top of one of the tables.

  In just a few precious minutes, I tell Ramon that I am hurting myself by talking to him. Until I get a crush on someone else, I won't be able to get over him. And so, we need to stop talking until I do. While I am telling Ramon this, I can feel my face turning hot, and by the end my face is just soaked with tears, and my nose is running so much it is getting all over everything. My heart is breaking, knowing this is the last I'll see of Ramon in a while. But, I know this is for the best.

  Ramon just stands by himself, getting more and more withdrawn, which is how he shows displeasure. He doesn't say a word the whole time I'm talking. I hate that I am the one making him feel this way. But, Ramon needs to realize that our friendship has been hurting me.

  When I finish my speech, I feel like I have been talking to a vacuum that has been sucking up all of my words into oblivion. And so, I conclude with, “Umm…yeah, bye.” Since he seems so unwilling to talk, I start practically running away from Ramon.

  He says, “Mackenzie, wai
t,” and grabs me into a hug. I take a whiff of his cologne for the last time, imprinting it permanently to my memory. He holds me there for a second. “Sorry for all of the trouble I have caused.” He rushes by me, very surly, and starts climbing into his car. Suddenly he turns around and says, “I don't mean that in a bad way.” And he is gone before I can even respond.

  I drag myself into my car and start the engine before I realize my eyes are so watery that I can't see two feet in front of me. I put my head on the steering wheel and bawl. I feel so small that I will soon disappear and never have to deal with anyone or anything again.

  Chapter Ten

  Crickets are chirping outside under the moonlight, forming the orchestra of the night. But, I barely notice them.

  “They said they knew where I live, and if I don't tell them the information they need, they will come to my house and….” Shane is grappling for words as he talks into his phone. He's so terrified he's having trouble putting them together. I have never heard him so tense before.

  It has been just over a week since I told Ramon I can't talk to him anymore. “Who are they?” I ask Shane, trying to sort out what he's saying.

  “I don't know, but they keep asking for information about Brent Andrews and Scott.”

  “What is the screen name?”

  “YMS,” Shane utters. My worst fears have been confirmed. YMS is that local gang who gave Ramon so much trouble. They are not a really hard gang, just a bunch of bored kids out to cause trouble, but they can cause a lot of it. The only connection I have to them is through Ramon because of his one-time encounter with them. “Only eleven people have my screen name, and I have talked to all of them. None of them did it; I know that none of them would,” Shane adds. It is really not that hard to get a person's screen name, so this doesn't bother me so much. But then Shane says, “Not that many people know where I live. Just you and Cody.”

  “What about Ramon?” I ask Shane. I already know the answer to this, but I want to remind him.