The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 109
You do a good job. Now, go back and tell the king I am not seeking him now. But I could be persuaded to march on to Calais, if he would like. However, I shouldn’t admit my intentions. My people are sick and weak. The number of my soldiers is down and those I have, whom I thought were worth three Frenchmen, are not well. Let me not brag, God. Go tell your master I am ready to repent, and even though my desires are worthless and my army is weak, we are coming. This is for your trouble, Montjoy. Go tell your master if he resists us, we will paint the ground blood red. Tell your master we do not seek a battle, but we will not avoid one.
Montjoy
I shall deliver so. Thanks to your Highness.
I will deliver your message. Thanks, your highness.
Exit.
Gloucester
I hope they will not come upon us now.
I hope they don’t attack us now.
King
We are in God's hands, brother, not in theirs. March to the bridge; it now draws toward night. Beyond the river we'll encamp ourselves, And on to-morrow bid them march away.
We are in God’s hands, not the French. It’s almost night time, so march to the bridge. We will camp beyond the river and tomorrow, we will march.
Exit.
Enter the Constable of France, the Lord Rambures, Orleans, and Dauphin with others.
Constable
Tut! I have the best armour of the world. Would it were day!
Bull! I have the best armor in the world. I wish it were day!
Orleans
You have an excellent armour; but let my horse have his due.
You do have an excellent armor, but don’t forget about my horses.
Constable
It is the best horse of Europe.
You do have the best horse in Europe.
Orleans
Will it never be morning?
Will it never be morning?
Dauphin
My Lord of Orleans, and my Lord High Constable, you talk of horse and armour?
My lord of Orleans and my lord high Constable, are you talking of horses and armor?
Orleans
You are as well provided of both as any prince in the world.
Yes, and you have the best of both as any prince in the world.
Dauphin
What a long night is this! I will not change my horse with any that treads but on four pasterns. Ca, ha! he bounds from the earth, as if his entrails were hairs; le cheval volant, the Pegasus, chez les narines de feu! When I bestride him, I soar, I am a hawk. he trots the air; the earth sings when he touches it; the basest horn of his hoof is more musical than the pipe of Hermes.
What a long night this is! I would not trade my horse for another. He bounds from the earth like Pegasus. I feel like I am flying when I sit on him. The earth sings at the touch of his hoof which is as musical as the pipe of Hermes.
Orleans
He's of the colour of the nutmeg.
He’s the color of nutmeg.
Dauphin
And of the heat of the ginger. It is a beast for Perseus. He is pure air and fire; and the dull elements of earth and water never appear in him, but only in patient stillness while his rider mounts him. He is indeed a horse, and all other jades you may call beasts.
And he has the heat of ginger. He is a beast fit for Perseus, pure air and fire. He is only calm when he is mounted by his rider. All other horses pale in comparison.
Constable
Indeed, my lord, it is a most absolute and excellent horse.
Indeed, my lord, he is an excellent horse.
Dauphin
It is the prince of palfreys; his neigh is like the bidding of a monarch, and his countenance enforces homage.
He is the prince of horses. His neigh is like the bidding of a king and he demands honor.
Orleans
No more, cousin.
No more, cousin.
Dauphin
Nay, the man hath no wit that cannot, from the rising of the lark to the lodging of the lamb, vary deserved praise on my palfrey. It is a theme as fluent as the sea; turn the sands into eloquent tongues, and my horse is argument for them all. 'Tis a subject for a sovereign to reason on, and for a sovereign's sovereign to ride on; and for the world, familiar to us and unknown, to lay apart their particular functions and wonder at him. I once writ a sonnet in his praise and began thus: "Wonder of nature,"--
No, the man has no sense if he can’t praise my horse. He is as worthy a subject for a king. I even wrote a sonnet based on him: “Wonder of nature…”
Orleans
I have heard a sonnet begin so to one's mistress.
I heard a sonnet about one’s mistress that started the same way.
Dauphin
Then did they imitate that which I compos'd to my courser, for my horse is my mistress.
Then, they must have copied mine, because my horse is my mistress.
Orleans
Your mistress bears well.
Your mistress serves you well.
Dauphin
Me well; which is the prescript praise and perfection of a good and particular mistress.
Exactly why I call her my mistress.
Constable
Nay, for methought yesterday your mistress shrewdly shook your back.
That’s not what I saw yesterday when she threw you off her back.
Dauphin
So perhaps did yours.
Maybe yours did.
Constable
Mine was not bridled.
Mine wasn’t bridled.
Dauphin
O then belike she was old and gentle; and you rode, like a kern of Ireland, your French hose off, and in your strait strossers.
Perhaps she is too old and gentle, so you rode like an Irishman, without pants.
Constable
You have good judgment in horsemanship.
You are a good judge of horsemanship.
Dauphin
Be warn'd by me, then; they that ride so and ride not warily, fall into foul bogs. I had rather have my horse to my mistress.
Well, let me warn you. He that rides like that falls into trouble. I’d rather have my horse than my mistress.
Constable
I had as lief have my mistress a jade.
I’ll keep my mistress.
Dauphin
I tell thee, Constable, my mistress wears his own hair.
I tell you, Constable, at least my mistress has her own hair.
Constable
I could make as true a boast as that, if I had a sow to my mistress.
I could make the same boast, if my mistress was a pig.
Dauphin
"Le chien est retourne a son propre vomissement, et la truie lavee au bourbier." Thou mak'st use of anything.
“The dog returns to his own vomit and the pig to its mud.” You would make anything your mistress.
Constable
Yet do I not use my horse for my mistress, or any such proverb so little kin to the purpose.
Yet, I don’t use my horse for my mistress or any other think like it.
Rambures
My Lord Constable, the armour that I saw in your tent to-night, are those stars or suns upon it?
My lord Constable, are there stars or suns on the armor I saw in your tent tonight?
Constable
Stars, my lord.
Stars, my lord.
Dauphin
Some of them will fall to-morrow, I hope.
I hope some of them will fall tomorrow.
Constable
And yet my sky shall not want.
But, my sky will not be left in want.
Dauphin
That may be, for you bear a many superfluously, and 'twere more honour some were away.
You wear too many, anyway.
Constable
Even as your horse bears your praises; who would trot as well, were some of your brags dismounted.
Not as many as the praise
s you heap upon your horse.
Dauphin
Would I were able to load him with his desert! Will it never be day? I will trot to-morrow a mile, and my way shall be paved with English faces.
I still can’t give him enough praises. Will it ever be day? I will ride a mile tomorrow and pave the way with Englishmen.
Constable
I will not say so, for fear I should be fac'd out of my way. But I would it were morning; for I would fain be about the ears of the English.
I wouldn’t say that. You shouldn’t brag, but I do wish it was morning, because I am ready to face the English.
Rambures
Who will go to hazard with me for twenty prisoners?
Would anyone like to bet me twenty prisoners?
Constable
You must first go yourself to hazard, ere you have them.
You have to get them, first.
Dauphin
'Tis midnight; I'll go arm myself.
It’s midnight. I’m going to get prepared.
Exit.
Orleans
The Dauphin longs for morning.
The Dauphin can’t wait until morning.
Rambures
He longs to eat the English.
He’s ready to eat the English.
Constable
I think he will eat all he kills.
I think he will be able to eat all he kills.
Orleans
By the white hand of my lady, he's a gallant prince.
I swear by the white hand of my lady, he is a brave prince.
Constable
Swear by her foot that she may tread out the oath.
You’d be better off to swear by her foot.
Orleans
He is simply the most active gentleman of France.
He is the most active gentleman in France.
Constable
Doing is activity; and he will still be doing.
Acting is activity, and he’s always doing that.
Orleans
He never did harm, that I heard of.
He never has harmed anyone that I know of.
Constable
Nor will do none to-morrow. He will keep that good name still.
Nor will he tomorrow. He will keep his good name, still.
Orleans
I know him to be valiant.
I think he is courageous.
Constable
I was told that by one that knows him better than you.
Someone who knows him better than you told me that.
Orleans
What's he?
Who?
Constable
Marry, he told me so himself; and he said he car'd not who knew it.
He told me so himself, and he said he didn’t care who knew it.
Orleans
He needs not; it is no hidden virtue in him.
Well, he doesn’t have to be brave. It’s not a hard virtue to see.
Constable
By my faith, sir, but it is; never anybody saw it but his lackey. 'Tis a hooded valour; and when it appears, it will bate.
I swear, sir, valor is never easy to see. No one has ever seen him be brave, but his servant, and then it was short-lived.
Orleans
"Ill will never said well."
You shouldn’t speak ill of him.
Constable
I will cap that proverb with "There is flattery in friendship."
And, flattery is found among friends.
Orleans
And I will take up that with "Give the devil his due."
Just, giving the devil his due.
Constable
Well plac'd. There stands your friend for the devil; have at the very eye of that proverb with "A pox of the devil."
That’s a good word for him, the devil.
Orleans
You are the better at proverbs, by how much "A fool's bolt is soon shot."
You are better at using proverbs for a fool shoots quickly and often misses his mark.
Constable
You have shot over.
You have over shot your friend.
Orleans
'Tis not the first time you were overshot.
It’s not the first time.
Enter a messenger.
Messenger
My Lord High Constable, the English lie within fifteen hundred paces of your tents.
My lord, high Constable, the English are within fifteen hundred feet from your tents.
Constable
Who hath measur'd the ground?
Who measured the ground?
Messenger
The Lord Grandpre.
The Lord Grandpre.
Constable
A valiant and most expert gentleman. Would it were day! Alas, poor Harry of England, he longs not for the dawning as we do.
Now, that’s a valiant gentleman. I wish it were day! I bet poor Harry of England doesn’t though.
Orleans
What a wretched and peevish fellow is this King of England, to mope with his fat-brain'd followers so far out of his knowledge!
He is a wretched and stupid fellow to bring his fat-headed followers to France, where he doesn’t know anything.
Constable
If the English had any apprehension, they would run away.
If the English had any sense, they’d run away.
Orleans
That they lack; for if their heads had any intellectual armour, they could never wear such heavy head-pieces.
They don’t have any brains in their heads or else they couldn’t wear such heavy armor.
Rambures
That island of England breeds very valiant creatures. Their mastiffs are of unmatchable courage.
The island of England breeds very valiant creatures; their dogs are of unmatchable courage.
Orleans
Foolish curs, that run winking into the mouth of a Russian bear and have their heads crush'd like rotten apples! You may as well say, that's a valiant flea that dare eat his breakfast on the lip of a lion.
They’re foolish dogs to run blind into the mouth of a bear that will crush their heads like apples! You might as well say they are valiant fleas eating their breakfast on the lip of a lion.
Constable
Just, just; and the men do sympathize with the mastiffs in robustious and rough coming on, leaving their wits with their wives; and then, give them great meals of beef and iron and steel, they will eat like wolves and fight like devils.
We men must feel sorry for these dogs that left their brains behind with their wives. Then they are given them meals of beef and iron to eat like wolves and fight like devils.
Orleans
Ay, but these English are shrewdly out of beef.
Yes, but these English are out of beef.
Constable
Then shall we find to-morrow they have only stomachs to eat and none to fight. Now is it time to arm. Come, shall we about it?
Then I hope we find tomorrow they don’t have the stomachs to fight. Now, it’s time to prepare. Shall we go?
Orleans
It is now two o'clock; but, let me see, by ten We shall have each a hundred Englishmen.
It’s only two o’clock, but let me see, by ten tomorrow, we will each have a hundred Englishmen.
Exit.
Enter Chorus.
Chorus
Now entertain conjecture of a time When creeping murmur and the poring dark Fills the wide vessel of the universe. From camp to camp through the foul womb of night The hum of either army stilly sounds, That the fix'd sentinels almost receive The secret whispers of each other's watch; Fire answers fire, and through their paly flames Each battle sees the other's umber'd face; Steed threatens steed, in high and boastful neighs Piercing the night's dull ear; and from the tents The armourers, accomplishing the knights, With busy hammers closing rivets up, Give dreadful note of preparation. The country cocks do crow, the clocks do toll, And the third
hour of drowsy morning name. Proud of their numbers and secure in soul, The confident and over-lusty French Do the low-rated English play at dice; And chide the cripple tardy-gaited Night Who, like a foul and ugly witch, doth limp So tediously away. The poor condemned English, Like sacrifices, by their watchful fires Sit patiently and inly ruminate The morning's danger; and their gesture sad, Investing lank-lean cheeks and war-worn coats, Presented them unto the gazing moon So many horrid ghosts. O now, who will behold The royal captain of this ruin'd band Walking from watch to watch, from tent to tent, Let him cry, "Praise and glory on his head!" For forth he goes and visits all his host, Bids them good morrow with a modest smile, And calls them brothers, friends, and countrymen. Upon his royal face there is no note How dread an army hath enrounded him; Nor doth he dedicate one jot of colour Unto the weary and all-watched night, But freshly looks, and over-bears attaint With cheerful semblance and sweet majesty; That every wretch, pining and pale before, Beholding him, plucks comfort from his looks. A largess universal like the sun His liberal eye doth give to every one, Thawing cold fear, that mean and gentle all Behold, as may unworthiness define, A little touch of Harry in the night. And so our scene must to the battle fly, Where--O for pity!--we shall much disgrace With four or five most vile and ragged foils, Right ill-dispos'd in brawl ridiculous, The name of Agincourt. Yet sit and see, Minding true things by what their mock'ries be.