The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  use any sword, weapon or dagger, from now on,

  on pain of death.

  GLOUCESTER.

  Cardinal, I 'll be no breaker of the law;

  But we shall meet, and break our minds at large.

  Cardinal, I shall not break the law;

  but we shall meet and fight with our minds.

  WINCHESTER.

  Gloucester, we will meet; to thy cost, be sure;

  Thy heart-blood I will have for this day's work.

  Gloucester, we will meet; you can be sure you will lose;

  I will have your blood for what you've done today.

  MAYOR.

  I 'll call for clubs, if you will not away.

  This Cardinal's more haughty than the devil.

  I'll tell my men to use their weapons, if you won't go.

  This cardinal is more arrogant than the devil.

  GLOUCESTER.

  Mayor, farewell: thou dost but what thou mayst.

  Mayor, farewell: you're only doing what you have to.

  WINCHESTER.

  Abominable Gloucester, guard thy head;

  For I intend to have it ere long.

  Disgusting Gloucester, watch your head;

  for I intend to have it off before long.

  [Exeunt, severally, Gloucester and Winchester with their

  Serving-men.]

  MAYOR.

  See the coast clear'd, and then we will depart.

  Good God, these nobles should such stomachs bear!

  I myself fight not once in forty year.

  See that the coast is clear, and then we will leave.

  Good God, the way these nobles carry on!

  I myself have not fought a single time in forty years.

  [Exeunt.]

  [Enter, on the walls, a Master Gunner and his Boy.]

  MASTER GUNNER.

  Sirrah, thou know'st how Orleans is besieged,

  And how the English have the suburbs won.

  Sir, you know how Orleans is under siege,

  and how the English have captured the suburbs.

  BOY.

  Father, I know; and oft have shot at them,

  Howe'er unfortunate I miss'd my aim.

  I know that, father; I have often shot at them,

  but unfortunately I've always missed.

  MASTER GUNNER.

  But now thou shalt not. Be thou ruled by me:

  Chief master-gunner am I of this town;

  Something I must do to procure me grace.

  The prince's espials have informed me

  How the English, in the suburbs close intrench'd,

  Wont through a secret grate of iron bars

  In yonder tower to overpeer the city,

  And thence discover how with most advantage

  They may vex us with shot or with assault.

  To intercept this inconvenience,

  A piece of ordnance 'gainst it I have placed;

  And even these three days have I watch'd,

  If I could see them.

  Now do thou watch, for I can stay no longer.

  If thou spy'st any, run and bring me word;

  And thou shalt find me at the governor's.

  But you won't now. Do as I say:

  I am now the master gunner of this town;

  I must do something to get myself in favour.

  The Prince’s spies have informed me

  that the English, securely dug in in the suburbs,

  used a secret grating of iron bars

  to get into that tower over there to overlook the city,

  and so to discover the best way

  they could damage us with shot or attacks.

  To stop this trouble,

  I have got a cannon aimed at it;

  I have been watching the past three days,

  to see if I could see them.

  Now you watch, for I can't stop here any longer.

  If you see anyone, come and tell me,

  you will find me at the Governor's.

  [Exit.]

  BOY.

  Father, I warrant you; take you no care;

  I'll never trouble you, if I may spy them.

  Father, I can promise you; don't you worry;

  if I can see them, I shan't be troubling you.

  [Exit.]

  [Enter, on the turrets, the Lords Salisbury and Talbot,

  Sir William Glansdale, Sir Thomas Gargrave, and others.]

  SALISBURY.

  Talbot, my life, my joy, again return'd!

  How wert thou handled being prisoner?

  Or by what means got'st thou to be releas'd?

  Discourse, I prithee, on this turret's top.

  Talbot, my life, my joy, come back!

  How were you treated as a prisoner?

  How did you manage to get released?

  Come up here, please, and tell me all about it.

  TALBOT.

  The Duke of Bedford had a prisoner

  Call'd the brave Lord Ponton de Santrailles;

  For him was I exchanged and ransomed.

  But with a baser man of arms by far

  Once in contempt they would have barter'd me:

  Which I disdaining scorn'd, and craved death

  Rather than I would be so vile-esteem'd.

  In fine, redeem'd I was as I desired.

  But, O! the treacherous Fastolfe wounds my heart,

  Whom with my bare fists I would execute,

  If I now had him brought into my power.

  The Duke of Bedford had a prisoner

  called the brave Lord Ponton de Satrailles;

  I was exchanged and ransomed for him.

  They did want to contemptuously exchange me

  for far less a soldier at one point,

  but I disdainfully refused, and said I would rather

  die than be valued so lowly.

  So in the end, I got the exchange I wanted.

  But, oh! The treacherous Fastolfe has wounded me,

  and I would kill him with my bare hands,

  if he was brought to me now.

  SALISBURY.

  Yet tell'st thou not how thou wert entertain'd.

  But you haven't said how you were treated.

  TALBOT.

  With scoffs and scorns and contumelious taunts.

  In open market-place produced they me,

  To be a public spectacle to all:

  Here, said they, is the terror of the French,

  The scarecrow that affrights our children so.

  Then broke I from the officers that led me,

  And with my nails digg'd stones out of the ground

  To hurl at the beholders of my shame;

  My grisly countenance made others fly;

  None durst come near for fear of sudden death.

  In iron walls they deem'd me not secure;

  So great fear of my name 'mongst them was spread

  That they supposed I could rend bars of steel,

  And spurn in pieces posts of adamant:

  Wherefore a guard of chosen shot I had,

  That walk'd about me every minute while;

  And if I did but stir out of my bed,

  Ready they were to shoot me to the heart.

  With mockery, scorn and insulting taunts.

  They showed me off in the open marketplace,

  as a public spectacle:

  here, they said, is the terror of the French,

  the scarecrow our children are so frightened of.

  Then I broke away from the officers who held me,

  and with my fingernails I dug stones out of the ground

  to throw at those spectators;

  my fierce expression made others fly away;

  none of them dared come near me in case they should be killed.

  They did not think iron bars were enough to hold me;

  they were so frightened by my reputation

  that they imagined I could tear bars of steel,

  and smash
rocky door posts to pieces:

  so I had a guard of chosen marksmen,

  who walked around me every minute of the day;

  and if I even just got out of my bed,

  they were ready to shoot me through the heart.

  [Enter the Boy with a linstock.]

  SALISBURY.

  I grieve to hear what torments you endured,

  But we will be revenged sufficiently.

  Now it is supper-time in Orleans:

  Here, through this grate, I count each one,

  And view the Frenchmen how they fortify:

  Let us look in; the sight will much delight thee.

  Sir Thomas Gargrave and Sir William Glansdale,

  Let me have your express opinions

  Where is best place to make our battery next.

  I'm sorry to hear of the tortures you endured,

  but we will soon get adequate revenge.

  It's now suppertime in Orleans:

  I can see through this grate, I count every person,

  and see how the Frenchmen build their defences:

  let's have a look; you'll enjoy the sight.

  Sir Thomas Gargrave and Sir William Glansdale,

  give me your specific opinion

  as to where we should direct our next bombardment.

  GARGRAVE.

  I think, at the north gate; for there stand lords.

  I think we should aim at the north gate, there are lords there.

  GLANSDALE.

  And I, here, at the bulwark of the bridge.

  I think we should aim at the defences of the bridge.

  TALBOT.

  For aught I see, this city must be famish'd,

  Or with light skirmishes enfeebled.

  From what I can see, we should starve them out,

  or weaken them with repeated small attacks.

  [Here they shoot. Salisbury and Gargrave fall.]

  SALISBURY.

  O Lord, have mercy on us, wretched sinners!

  O Lord, have mercy on us, wretched sinners!

  GARGRAVE.

  O Lord, have mercy on me, woful man!

  O Lord, have mercy on me, sorrowful man!

  TALBOT.

  What chance is this that suddenly hath cross'd us?

  Speak, Salisbury: at least, if thou canst speak:

  How farest thou, mirror of all martial men?

  One of thy eyes and thy cheek's side struck off!

  Accursed tower! accursed fatal hand

  That hath contrived this woful tragedy!

  In thirteen battles Salisbury o'ercame;

  Henry the Fifth he first train'd to the wars;

  Whilst any trump did sound, or drum struck up,

  His sword did ne'er leave striking in the field.

  Yet liv'st thou, Salisbury? though thy speech doth fail,

  One eye thou hast, to look to heaven for grace:

  The sun with one eye vieweth all the world.

  Heaven, be thou gracious to none alive,

  If Salisbury wants mercy at thy hands!

  Bear hence his body; I will help to bury it,

  Sir Thomas Gargrave, hast thou any life?

  Speak unto Talbot; nay, look up to him.

  Salisbury, cheer thy spirit with this comfort,

  Thou shalt not die whiles--

  He beckons with his hand and smiles on me,

  As who should say 'When I am dead and gone,

  Remember to avenge me on the French.'

  Plantagenet, I will; and like thee, Nero,

  Play on the lute, beholding the towns burn;

  Wretched shall France be only in thy name.

  [Here an alarum, and it thunders and lightens. ]

  What stir is this? what tumult's in the heavens?

  Whence cometh this alarum and the noise?

  [Enter a Messenger.]

  What bit of bad luck have we suddenly had?

  Speak, Salisbury; at least, speak if you can.

  How are you, you model soldier?

  You've lost one of your eyes and the side of your cheek?

  Damned tower, and damn the fatal hand

  that caused this terrible tragedy.

  Salisbury triumphed in thirteen battles:

  he was the first man to train Henry the Fifth in warfare.

  He never left off fighting

  while there were any trumpets sounding or drums beating.

  Are you still alive, Salisbury? Although you cannot speak,

  you have one eye to look to heaven for grace.

  The sun looks at the world with one eye.

  Heaven, if you don't show mercy to Salisbury

  then you will show grace to no man alive.

  Carry his body away–I will help to bury it.

  Sir Thomas Gargrave, are you still alive?

  Speak to Talbot, look at him.

  Salisbury, comfort yourself with this;

  you won't die while–

  he signals with his hand and is smiling at me

  as if he's saying, “when I am dead and gone,

  make sure you take revenge for me on the French."

  Plantagenet, I will do so; I'll be like Nero,

  playing on the lute while he watches the towns burn:

  France will be terrified just to hear my name.

  What's this fuss? What are these storms in the heavens?

  Where does all this noise and disturbance come from?

  MESSENGER.

  My lord, my lord, the French have gather'd head:

  The Dauphin, with one Joan la Pucelle join'd,

  A holy prophetess new risen up,

  Is come with a great power to raise the siege.

  My Lord, the French have formed up for an attack:

  the Dauphin has come to lift the siege,

  he has joined forces with one Joan la Pucelle,

  a newly discovered holy prophetess.

  [Here SALISBURY lifteth himself up and groans.]

  TALBOT.

  Hear, hear how dying Salisbury doth groan!

  It irks his heart he cannot be revenged.

  Frenchmen, I 'll be a Salisbury to you:

  Pucelle or puzzel, dolphin or dogfish,

  Your hearts I 'll stamp out with my horse's heels,

  And make a quagmire of your mingled brains.

  Convey me Salisbury into his tent,

  And then we 'll try what these dastard Frenchmen dare.

  Listen to how the dying Salisbury groans!

  He hates the fact that he cannot get revenge.

  Frenchmen, I'll treat you like Salisbury would wish:

  Pucelle or puzzle, dolphin or dogfish,

  I'll stamp out your hearts with my horse's heels,

  and make a swamp of your mixed brains.

  Carry Salisbury to his tent for me,

  and then we'll see what these bastard Frenchmen are made of.

  [Alarum. Exeunt.]

  [Here an alarum again: and Talbot pursueth the

  Dauphin, and driveth him: then enter Joan La Pucelle,

  driving Englishmen before her, and exit after them:

  then re-enter Talbot.]

  TALBOT.

  Where is my strength, my valor, and my force?

  Our English troops retire, I cannot stay them:

  A woman clad in armour chaseth them.

  [Re-enter La Pucelle.]

  Here, here she comes. I 'll have a bout with thee;

  Devil or devil's dam, I 'll conjure thee:

  Blood will I draw on thee, thou art a witch,

  And straightway give thy soul to him thou servest.

  What has happened to all my brave forces?

  The English troops are retreating, I cannot stop them:

  a woman dressed in armour is chasing them.

  Here she comes. I shall fight you;

  if you are the Devil or the Devil's mother, I'll beat you:

  I'll get your blood running, you are a witch,

  and I'll send
back your soul to the one whom you serve.

  PUCELLE.

  Come, come, 'tis only I that must disgrace thee.

  Come, come, I must bring you down.

  [Here they fight.]

  TALBOT.

  Heavens, can you suffer hell so to prevail?

  My breast I 'll burst with straining of my courage,

  And from my shoulders crack my arms asunder,

  But I will chastise this high-minded strumpet.

  Heaven, will you allow hell to win like this?

  I will burst open my chest testing my courage,

  and let my arms break from my shoulders,

  but I will punish this arrogant strumpet.

  [They fight again.]

  PUCELLE.

  Talbot, farewell; thy hour is not yet come:

  I must go victual Orleans forthwith.

  [A short alarum: then enter the town with soldiers.]

  O'ertake me, if thou canst; I scorn thy strength.

  Go, go, cheer up thy hungry-starved men;

  Help Salisbury to make his testament:

  This day is ours, as many more shall be.

  Talbot, farewell; it's not your time yet:

  I must go and take supplies to Orleans.

  Catch me if you can; your strength means nothing to me.

  Go and cheer up your starving men;

  help Salisbury to make his will:

  We have won today, as we shall many other days.

  [Exit.]

  TALBOT.

  My thoughts are whirled like a potter's wheel;

  I know not where I am, nor what I do;

  A witch, by fear, not force, like Hannibal,

  Drives back our troops and conquers as she lists.

  So bees with smoke and doves with noisome stench

  Are from their hives and houses driven away.