The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  to keep through politics what Henry had won?

  Have you yourselves, Somerset, Buckingham,

  brave York, Salisbury, and triumphant Warwick,

  not suffered steep wounds fighting in France and Normandy?

  Did my uncle Beaufort and myself not,

  with all the most learned advisers in the country,

  study for so long, sitting in the council chamber

  from morning till night, debating amongst us

  how France and the Frenchmen could be kept under control,

  and did we not have his Highness as a child

  crowned in Paris against the opposition of his enemies?

  Will all this labour and brave behaviour be for nothing?

  Shall Henry's victory, Bedford's careful stewardship,

  your efforts in battle and all our debating be for nothing?

  Oh peers of England, this is a shameful alliance!

  A fatal marriage, which wipes out your fame,

  erases your names from the books of history,

  scratching out the letters which told of your great deeds,

  tearing down the monuments to our victories in France,

  taking away everything, as if it had never existed!

  CARDINAL.

  Nephew, what means this passionate discourse,

  This peroration with such circumstance?

  For France, 't is ours; and we will keep it still.

  Nephew, what do you mean by this passionate speech,

  this oratory which seems to be so full of foreboding?

  France belongs to us; and we shall keep it.

  GLOSTER.

  Ay, uncle, we will keep it if we can,

  But now it is impossible we should.

  Suffolk, the new-made duke that rules the roost,

  Hath given the duchy of Anjou and Maine

  Unto the poor King Reignier, whose large style

  Agrees not with the leanness of his purse.

  Yes, uncle, we would keep it if we could,

  but now that is impossible.

  Suffolk, the newly created duke who now is favourite,

  has given the Duchy of Anjou and Maine

  to the poor King Reignier, whose great titles

  are not matched by his wealth.

  SALISBURY.

  Now, by the death of Him that died for all,

  These counties were the keys of Normandy!--

  But wherefore weeps Warwick, my valiant son?

  I swear, on the cross of Jesus,

  those counties are the key to holding Normandy!

  But why is my brave son Warwick weeping?

  WARWICK.

  For grief that they are past recovery;

  For, were there hope to conquer them again,

  My sword should shed hot blood, mine eyes no tears.

  Anjou and Maine! myself did win them both,

  Those provinces these arms of mine did conquer;

  And are the cities that I got with wounds

  Deliver'd up again with peaceful words?

  Mort Dieu!

  From grief that they cannot be recovered;

  for, if there were any chance of re-conquering them,

  my sword would be spilling blood, instead of my eyes spilling tears.

  Anjou and Maine! I conquered them both,

  I won those provinces with these arms of mine;

  so are the cities that I received wounds to win

  being returned with peaceful words?

  My God!

  YORK.

  For Suffolk's duke, may he be suffocate,

  That dims the honour of this warlike isle!

  France should have torn and rent my very heart,

  Before I would have yielded to this league.

  I never read but England's kings have had

  Large sums of gold and dowries with their wives;

  And our King Henry gives away his own,

  To match with her that brings no vantages.

  May the Duke of Suffolk be suffocated

  for tarnishing the honour of this military island!

  France would have had to tell my heart

  before I would have agreed to this alliance.

  I have never read of any English king who did not have

  large payments of gold and goods as dowries for their wives;

  our King Henry has given away what he owned,

  to marry someone who brings nothing with her.

  GLOSTER.

  A proper jest, and never heard before,

  That Suffolk should demand a whole fifteenth

  For costs and charges in transporting her!

  She should have staid in France, and starv'd in France,

  Before--

  It's a good joke, never seen before,

  that Suffolk was allowed to raise a six percent tax

  to pay for the expense of bringing her here!

  She should have stayed in France, and starved in France,

  before–

  CARDINAL.

  My Lord of Gloster, now ye grow too hot;

  It was the pleasure of my lord the King.

  My Lord of Gloucester, now you are getting too angry;

  it was what my lord the king wished.

  GLOSTER.

  My Lord of Winchester, I know your mind;

  'T is not my speeches that you do mislike,

  But 't is my presence that doth trouble ye.

  Rancour will out.

  Proud prelate, in thy face

  I see thy fury; if I longer stay,

  We shall begin our ancient bickerings.--

  Lordings, farewell; and say, when I am gone,

  I prophesied France will be lost ere long.

  My Lord of Winchester, I know what you're thinking;

  it's not what I'm saying that you object to,

  but my presence here.

  Spite will show itself.

  Arrogant Bishop, I can see your anger

  in your face; if I stay here longer,

  we will recommence our old arguments–

  Lords, farewell; after I'm gone remember

  that I predicted that France will be lost before long.

  [Exit.]

  CARDINAL.

  So, there goes our protector in a rage.

  'T is known to you he is mine enemy,

  Nay, more, an enemy unto you all,

  And no great friend, I fear me, to the king.

  Consider, lords, he is the next of blood,

  And heir apparent to the English crown.

  Had Henry got an empire by his marriage,

  And all the wealthy kingdoms of the west,

  There's reason he should be displeas'd at it.

  Look to it, lords.

  Let not his smoothing words

  Bewitch your hearts; be wise and circumspect.

  What though the common people favour him,

  Calling him 'Humphrey, the good Duke of Gloster,'

  Clapping their hands, and crying with loud voice,

  'Jesu maintain your royal excellence!'

  With 'God preserve the good Duke Humphrey!'

  I fear me, lords, for all this flattering gloss,

  He will be found a dangerous protector.

  So, off goes our protector in a rage.

  You know that he is my enemy,

  and more than that he is an enemy of all of you,

  and, I'm afraid, no great friend of the king's.

  Think about the fact, lords, that he is next in line,

  the heir apparent of the English crown.

  If Henry had been given an empire through his marriage,

  containing all the wealthy kingdoms of the West,

  he would still have a reason to be upset by it.

  Think about it, lords.

  Don't let his sweet words

  win you over; be sensible and careful.

  So what if the common people like him,

  calling him “Humphrey, the goo
d Duke of Gloucester,"

  clapping their hands, and shouting out,

  “may Jesus preserve your royal excellency!"

  and, “God preserve good Duke Humphrey!"

  I'm afraid, lords, for all his good appearance

  we shall find him a dangerous Regent.

  BUCKINGHAM.

  Why should he, then, protect our sovereign,

  He being of age to govern of himself?--

  Cousin of Somerset, join you with me,

  And all together, with the Duke of Suffolk,

  We'll quickly hoise Duke Humphrey from his seat.

  Why is he still Regent, when our King

  is old enough to rule himself?

  My cousin Somerset, work with me,

  and together, with the Duke of Suffolk,

  we'll quickly throw Duke Humphrey from his position.

  CARDINAL.

  This weighty business will not brook delay;

  I'll to the Duke of Suffolk presently.

  This important business can't wait;

  I will go and see the Duke of Suffolk at once.

  [Exit.]

  SOMERSET.

  Cousin of Buckingham, though Humphrey's pride

  And greatness of his place be grief to us,

  Yet let us watch the haughty cardinal;

  His insolence is more intolerable

  Than all the princes in the land beside;

  If Gloster be displac'd, he 'll be protector.

  My cousin Buckingham, although Humphrey's arrogance

  and his high position is distasteful to us,

  let us keep an eye on the arrogant Cardinal;

  his insolence is more intolerable

  than all the princes in the country added together;

  if Gloucester is overthrown, he'll be regent.

  BUCKINGHAM.

  Or thou or I, Somerset, will be protector,

  Despite Duke Humphrey or the cardinal.

  Or it could be you or I, Somerset,

  despite Duke Humphrey or the cardinal.

  [Exeunt Buckingham and Somerset.]

  SALISBURY.

  Pride went before, ambition follows him.

  While these do labour for their own preferment,

  Behoves it us to labour for the realm.

  I never saw but Humphrey Duke of Gloster

  Did bear him like a noble gentleman.

  Oft have I seen the haughty cardinal,

  More like a soldier than a man o' the church,

  As stout and proud as he were lord of all,

  Swear like a ruffian and demean himself

  Unlike the ruler of a commonweal.--

  Warwick my son, the comfort of my age,

  Thy deeds, thy plainness, and thy housekeeping,

  Hath won the greatest favour of the commons,

  Excepting none but good Duke Humphrey;--

  And, brother York, thy acts in Ireland,

  In bringing them to civil discipline,

  Thy late exploits done in the heart of France,

  When thou wert regent for our sovereign,

  Have made thee fear'd and honour'd of the people.--

  Join we together, for the public good,

  In what we can, to bridle and suppress

  The pride of Suffolk and the cardinal,

  With Somerset's and Buckingham's ambition,

  And, as we may, cherish Duke Humphrey's deeds

  While they do tend the profit of the land.

  There goes pride, followed by ambition.

  While they are working for their own advancement,

  it's our job to work for the country.

  I never saw Humphrey Duke of Gloucester behave

  in any way unfitting for a noble gentleman.

  I have often seen the arrogant Cardinal,

  more like a soldier than a clergyman,

  as puffed up and proud as if he owned everything,

  swear like a scoundrel and behave in vulgar ways,

  not like the ruler of a country.

  Warwick, my son, the happiness of my old age,

  your deeds, your honesty and your frugality

  have made you a great favourite with the ordinary people,

  above everybody except good Duke Humphrey;

  and, brother York, your deeds in Ireland,

  where you brought them to order,

  the recent things that you did in France,

  when you were regent for our King,

  have made you respected and honoured by the people.

  Let's join together, for the good of the country,

  to do what we can to rein in and suppress

  the arrogance of Suffolk and the Cardinal,

  as well as the ambitions of Somerset and Buckingham,

  and help Duke Humphrey in any way we can,

  while he does good for the country.

  WARWICK.

  So God help Warwick, as he loves the land

  And common profit of his country!

  May God help Warwick, as he loves the country

  and whatever is best for it!

  YORK.

  [Aside.] And so says York, for he hath greatest cause.

  [Aside] That's what York says, and he has the best reason.

  SALISBURY.

  Then let's make haste away, and look unto the main.

  Then let's hurry, and take care of our main business.

  WARWICK.

  Unto the main! O father, Maine is lost;

  That Maine which by main force Warwick did win,

  And would have kept so long as breath did last!

  Main chance, father, you meant; but I meant Maine,

  Which I will win from France, or else be slain.

  Our main business! O father, Maine is lost;

  Maine which Warwick won with great force,

  and would have kept as long as he was alive!

  You meant our main business, father; but I meant Maine,

  which I will win back from France, or die in the attempt.

  [Exeunt Warwick and Salisbury.]

  YORK.

  Anjou and Maine are given to the French;

  Paris is lost; the state of Normandy

  Stands on a tickle point now they are gone.

  Suffolk concluded on the articles,

  The peers agreed; and Henry was well pleas'd

  To changes two dukedoms for a duke's fair daughter.

  I cannot blame them all: what is't to them?

  'T is thine they give away, and not their own.

  Pirates may make cheap pennyworths of their pillage,

  And purchase friends, and give to courtesans,

  Still revelling like lords till all be gone;

  Whileas the silly owner of the goods

  Weeps over them and wrings his hapless hands

  And shakes his head and trembling stands aloof,

  While all is shar'd and all is borne away,

  Ready to starve and dare not touch his own.

  So York must sit and fret and bite his tongue,

  While his own lands are bargain'd for and sold.

  Methinks the realms of England, France, and Ireland

  Bear that proportion to my flesh and blood

  As did the fatal brand Althaea burn'd

  Unto the prince's heart of Calydon.

  Anjou and Maine both given unto the French!

  Cold news for me, for I had hope of France,

  Even as I have of fertile England's soil.

  A day will come when York shall claim his own;

  And therefore I will take the Nevils' parts,

  And make a show of love to proud Duke Humphrey,

  And when I spy advantage, claim the crown,

  For that 's the golden mark I seek to hit.

  Nor shall proud Lancaster usurp my right,

  Nor hold the sceptre in his childish fist,

  Nor wear the diadem upon his head,

  Whose church-like humours fits not for a crown.
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  Then, York, be still awhile till time do serve;

  Watch thou and wake when others be asleep,

  To pry into the secrets of the state;

  Till Henry, surfeiting in joys of love,

  With his new bride and England's dear-bought queen,

  And Humphrey with the peers be fallen at jars.

  Then will I raise aloft the milk-white rose,

  With whose sweet smell the air shall be perfum'd,

  And in my standard bear the arms of York,

  To grapple with the house of Lancaster;

  And, force perforce, I 'll make him yield the crown

  Whose bookish rule hath pull'd fair England down.

  Anjou and Maine have been given to the French;

  Paris has been lost; the state of Normandy

  rests on a knife edge now they are gone.

  Suffolk agreed to the terms,

  the peers consented; and Henry was well pleased

  to exchange two dukedoms for the beautiful daughter of a duke.

  I can't blame them all: what's it matter to them?

  It's my land they've been giving away, not their own.

  Pirates can sell what they have stolen for pennies,

  to their friends, and give it to whores,

  enjoying themselves like lords until they've spent the lot;

  whereas the foolish owner of the goods

  weeps and wrings his unlucky hands,

  shakes his head and stands to one side trembling

  while everything is shared out and carried away,

  facing starvation but not daring to claim his own property.

  So York must sit, and fret, and bite his tongue,

  while they bargain and sell his own lands.

  I think that the kingdoms of England, France and Ireland

  have the same effect on my flesh and blood

  as the fatal brand Althaea thrust burning

  into the heart of the Prince of Calydon.

  Anjou and Maine both given to the French!

  Bad news for me, as I had hopes of winning France,

  in the same way I have hopes of winning the fertile soil of England.

  The day will come when York will claim what's his;

  and so I will side with the Nevils,

  and pretend to be loyal to arrogant Duke Humphrey,

  and when I see a chance, I shall take the crown,