The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 150
CADE.
Therefore am I of an honourable house.
So I come from a noble house.
DICK.
[Aside.] Ay, by my faith, the field is honourable; and
there was he born, under a hedge, for his father had never a
house but
the cage.
Yes, I swear, the field is noble; and
that's where he was born, under a hedge, for his father never had a
house except when he was in prison.
CADE.
Valiant I am.
I am brave.
SMITH.
[Aside.] A' must needs; for beggary is valiant.
He has to be, a beggar has to be brave.
CADE.
I am able to endure much.
I can put up with a lot.
DICK.
[Aside.] No question of that; for I have seen him whipped
three market-days together.
No argument there; I've seen him whipped
three market days in a row.
CADE.
I fear neither sword nor fire.
I'm not afraid of swords or fire.
SMITH.
[Aside.] He need not fear the sword, for his coat is of
proof.
He needn't fear the sword, his coat is
already full of holes.
DICK.
[Aside.] But methinks he should stand in fear of fire,
being burnt i' the hand for stealing of sheep.
But I think he should be afraid of fire,
having been branded on the hand for sheep stealing.
CADE.
Be brave, then; for your captain is brave, and vows
reformation. There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves
sold for a penny; the three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and
I will make it felony to drink small beer. All the realm shall be
in common; and in Cheapside shall my palfry go to grass; and
when I am king, as king I will be,--
So be brave, for your captain is brave, and promises
changes. You will be able to buy seven halfpenny loaves
for a penny in England; a two pint pot will now hold seven pints;
and I will make it illegal to drink small beer. Everything in the country
shall be shared; I shall graze my horse in Cheapside; and
when I am king, as I shall be–
ALL.
God save your majesty!
God save your Majesty!
CADE.
I thank you, good people;--there shall be no money; all shall
eat and drink on my score, and I will apparel them all in one
livery, that they may agree like brothers and worship me their
lord.
Thank you, good people; there shall be no money; everyone
shall eat and drink on my account, and I will dress them all in
the same uniform, so that they can all be like brothers and worship me as their
lord.
DICK.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
CADE.
Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable thing, that
of the skin of an innocent lamb should be made parchment, that
parchment, being scribbl'd o'er, should undo a man? Some say the
bee stings; but I say 't is the bee's wax, for I did but seal
once to a thing, and I was never mine own man since.--How now!
who's there?
Yes, we'll do that. Isn't is a terrible thing, that
the skin of an innocent lamb should be turned into parchment,
and that parchment, being scribbled on, can bring down a man? Some say
the bee stings, but I say it's the beeswax, for I only ever signed
one sealed document, and I have never belonged to myself since. Hello there!
Who's that?
[Enter some, bringing in the Clerk of Chatham.]
SMITH.
The clerk of Chatham; he can write and read and cast
accompt.
The clerk of Chatham; he can read and write
and do accounts.
CADE.
O monstrous!
How terrible!
SMITH.
We took him setting of boys' copies.
We caught him teaching some boys.
CADE.
Here's a villain!
Now here's a villain!
SMITH.
Has a book in his pocket with red letters in 't.
He's got a textbook in his pocket.
CADE.
Nay, then, he is a conjurer.
Why, he's a magician.
DICK.
Nay, he can make obligations and write court-hand.
No, he can draw up bonds and write in a legal hand.
CADE.
I am sorry for 't.
The man is a proper man, of mine honour;
unless I find him guilty, he shall not die.--Come hither, sirrah,
I must examine thee; what is thy name?
I'm sorry to hear it.
This man is a proper man, I swear;
unless I find him guilty, he won't die. Come here, sir,
I must question you; what is your name?
CLERK.
Emmanuel.
Emmanuel.
DICK.
They use to write it on the top of letters.--'T will go
hard with you.
That's what they used to write on the top of letters.
You're in for it now.
CADE.
Let me alone.--Dost thou use to write thy name? or hast
thou a mark to thyself, like a honest, plain-dealing man?
Let me do the talking. Do you usually write your name? Or have
you a mark you use, like an honest, straightforward man?
CLERK.
Sir, I thank God, I have been so well brought up that I
can write my name.
Sir, I thank God, I have been so well brought up that I
can write my name.
ALL.
He hath confess'd; away with him! he's a villain and a
traitor.
He's confessed; take him away! He's a villain and
a traitor.
CADE.
Away with him, I say! hang him with his pen and inkhorn
about his neck.
Take him away, I say! Hang him with his pen and inkwell
round his neck.
[Exit one with the Clerk.]
[Enter MICHAEL.]
MICHAEL.
Where's our general?
Where is our general?
CADE.
Here I am, thou particular fellow.
Here I am, little chap.
MICHAEL.
Fly, fly, fly! Sir Humphrey Stafford and his brother
are hard by, with the king's forces.
Run, run, run! Sir Humphrey Stafford and his brother
are close by, with the king's army.
CADE.
Stand, villain, stand, or I'll fell thee down. He shall be
encountered with a man as good as himself; he is but a knight,
is a'?
Stand your ground, villain, or I'll knock you down. He shall
meet with a man as good as himself; he's just a knight,
isn't he?
MICHAEL.
No.
Only that.
CADE.
To equal him, I will make myself a knight presently.--
[Kneels.] Rise up Sir John Mortimer.--[Rises.] Now have at him!
To be his equal, I'll make myself a knight right now.
Rise up Sir John Mortimer. Now let's have at him!
[Enter SIR HUMPHREY STAFFORD and his Brother, with drum
and soldiers.]
STAFF
ORD.
Rebellious hinds, the filth and scum of Kent,
Mark'd for the gallows, lay your weapons down;
Home to your cottages, forsake this groom.
The king is merciful, if you revolt.
Rebellious brutes, the filthy scum of Kent,
marked out for the gallows, put down your weapons;
go home to your cottages, leave this scum.
The King will be merciful, if you rebel against him.
BROTHER.
But angry, wrathful, and inclin'd to blood,
If you go forward; therefore yield, or die.
But if you carry on, he will be angry, furious,
looking for bloodshed; so surrender, or die.
CADE.
As for these silken-coated slaves, I pass not;
It is to you, good people, that I speak,
OVer whom, in time to come, I hope to reign,
For I am rightful heir unto the crown.
As for these silk coated slaves, I don't care about them;
I'm speaking to you, good people,
whom I'm hoping to reign over in time,
for I am the true heir to the crown.
STAFFORD.
Villain, thy father was a plasterer;
And thou thyself a shearman, art thou not?
Villain, your father was a plasterer;
and you're a tailor, aren't you?
CADE.
And Adam was a gardener.
And Adam was a gardener.
BROTHER.
And what of that?
What's that got to do with anything?
CADE.
Marry, this: Edmund Mortimer, Earl of March,
Married the Duke of Clarence' daughter, did he not?
Well, this: Edmund Mortimer, Earl of March,
married the Duke of Clarence's daughter, didn't he?
STAFFORD.
Ay, sir.
Yes, sir.
CADE.
By her he had two children at one birth.
And he had twins with her.
BROTHER.
That's false.
That's not true.
CADE.
Ay, there's the question; but I say 't is true.
The elder of them, being put to nurse,
Was by a beggar-woman stolen away,
And, ignorant of his birth and parentage,
Became a bricklayer when he came to age.
His son am I; deny it, if you can.
Well, there's the debate; but I say it is true.
The older one of them, being put out to nurse,
was stolen away by a beggar woman,
and, not knowing of his birth and parentage,
became a bricklayer when he grew up.
I'm his son; deny it, if you can.
DICK.
Nay, 't is too true; therefore he shall be king.
It's absolutely true; so he should be king.
SMITH.
Sir, he made a chimney in my father's house, and the bricks
are alive at this day to testify it; therefore deny it not.
Sir, he made a chimney in my father's house, and the
bricks are still there today to prove it; so don't deny it.
STAFFORD.
And will you credit this base drudge's words,
That speaks he knows not what?
And you believe the words of this lowdown servant,
who's talking of things he doesn't understand?
ALL.
Ay, marry, will we; therefore get ye gone.
Yes, we do; so go away.
BROTHER.
Jack Cade, the Duke of York hath taught you this.
Jack Cade, the Duke of York has told you to do this.
CADE.
[Aside.] He lies, for I invented it myself.--Go to, sirrah,
tell the king from me that, for his father's sake, Henry the
Fifth, in whose time boys went to span-counter for French crowns,
I am content he shall reign; but I'll be protector over him.
[Aside] He's lying, I made it up myself.–Go away, Sir,
tell the king from me that, for his father's sake, Henry the
Fifth, in whose time boys played a game for the French crown,
I am happy for him to be king; but I will be regent over him.
DICK.
And furthermore, we'll have the Lord Say's head for
selling the dukedom of Maine.
And furthermore, we shall execute Lord Say for
selling the dukedom of Maine.
CADE.
And good reason; for thereby is England mained, and fain to go
with a staff, but that my puissance holds it up. Fellow kings, I
tell you that that Lord Say hath gelded the commonwealth and made
it an eunuch; and more than that, he can speak French, and
therefore he is a traitor.
And for a good reason; for that has maimed all of England, so
it walks with a crutch, and only my strength holds it up. Fellow kings, I
tell you that Lord Say has gelded the country and made
it a eunuch; and worse than that, he can speak French, and
so he is a traitor.
STAFFORD.
O gross and miserable ignorance!
What terrible and miserable stupidity!
CADE.
Nay, answer if you can: the Frenchmen are our enemies;
go to, then, I ask but this: can he that speaks with the tongue
of an enemy be a good counsellor, or no?
No, answer this if you can: the Frenchmen are our enemies;
come on then, I'm just asking this: can someone who speaks with the tongue
of your enemy be a good adviser, yes or no?
ALL.
No, no; and therefore we'll have his head.
No, no; and so we shall execute him.
BROTHER.
Well, seeing gentle words will not prevail,
Assail them with the army of the king.
Well, as polite words have no effect,
attack them with the king's army.
STAFFORD.
Herald, away; and throughout every town
Proclaim them traitors that are up with Cade;
That those which fly before the battle ends
May, even in their wives' and children's sight,
Be hang'd up for example at their doors.--
And you that be the king's friends, follow me.
Herald, go; and in every town
announced that everyone with Cade is a traitor;
that those who escape before the end of the battle
will be hanged outside their own doors as an example,
even in front of their wives and children–
all of you who are friends of the King, follow me.
[Exeunt the two Staffords, and soldiers.]
CADE.
And you that love the commons follow me.
Now show yourselves men; 't is for liberty.
We will not leave one lord, one gentleman;
Spare none but such as go in clouted shoon,
For they are thrifty honest men and such
As would, but that they dare not, take our parts.
And you that love the common people follow me.
Now show yourselves to be men; its for freedom.
We will not spare one lord, one gentleman;
we'll spare nobody who doesn't wear hobnailed boots,
for they are thrifty honest men who would
join in on our side if they dared.
DICK.
They are all in order and march toward us.
They are all lined up and marching towards us.
CADE.
But then are we in order when we are most out of
order.--Come, march forward.
But we are lined up even when we aren't.
Come, march forward.
[Exeunt.]
[Alarums to the fight, wherein both the STAFFORDS are slain.
Enter CADE and the rest.]
CADE.
Where's Dick, the butcher of Ashford?
Where's Dick, the butcher of Ashford?
DICK.
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
CADE.
They fell before thee like sheep and oxen, and thou
behavedst thyself as if thou hadst been in thine own
slaughter-house; therefore thus will I reward thee:
the Lent shall be as long again as it is, and thou
shalt have a licence to kill for a hundred lacking one.
They fell before you like sheep and oxen, and you
carried on as if you were in your own
slaughterhouse; so I will give you this reward:
I'll make Lent twice as long as it is, and you
will have a special licence to kill ninety nine beasts.
DICK.
I desire no more.
That's all I want.
CADE.