The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 166
vantages.
May God forbid that, for he'll take
advantage of her when she's down.
KING EDWARD.
How many children hast thou, widow? tell me.
How many children do you have, widow? Tell me.
CLARENCE.
[Aside to Gloster.] I think he means to beg a child of
her.
I think he intends to ask for
one of her children.
GLOSTER.
[Aside to Clarence.] Nay, whip me then; he'll rather
give her two.
No, I'll be damned if he does; I think he's
thinking of giving her some.
LADY GREY.
Three, my most gracious lord.
Three, my most gracious lord.
GLOSTER.
[Aside to Clarence.] You shall have four if you'll be
rul'd by him.
You'll have four if you let him
get what he wants.
KING EDWARD.
'T were pity they should lose their father's lands.
It would be a shame for them to lose their father's land.
LADY GREY.
Be pitiful, dread lord, and grant it then.
Then show pity, great lord, and give it to them.
KING EDWARD.
Lords, give us leave; I'll try this widow's wit.
Lords, leave us; I shall test this widow's intelligence.
GLOSTER.
[Aside to Clarence.] Ay, good leave have you;
for you will have leave
Till youth take leave and leave you to the crutch.
Yes, we'll leave you;
you'll always do this
until you lose your youth and need a stick.
[Gloster and Clarence stand apart.]
KING EDWARD.
Now tell me, madam, do you love your children?
Now tell me, madam, do you love your children?
LADY GREY.
Ay, full as dearly as I love myself.
Yes, every bit as much as I love myself.
KING EDWARD.
And would you not do much to do them good?
And would you do a lot for their good?
LADY GREY.
To do them good I would sustain some harm.
I would suffer harm to do them good.
KING EDWARD.
Then get your husband's lands to do them good.
So you want to get your husband's land back to do them good.
LADY GREY.
Therefore I came unto your majesty.
That's why I came to your Majesty.
KING EDWARD.
I'll tell you how these lands are to be got.
I'll tell you how you can get these lands back.
LADY GREY.
So shall you bind me to your highness' service.
That would make me your Highness' servant.
KING EDWARD.
What service wilt thou do me if I give them?
What service would you do for me if I give them back?
LADY GREY.
What you command that rests in me to do.
Anything you ask that I am able to do.
KING EDWARD.
But you will take exceptions to my boon.
But you will put conditions on my gift.
LADY GREY.
No, gracious lord, except I cannot do it.
No, gracious lord, only if you ask for something I cannot do.
KING EDWARD.
Ay, but thou canst do what I mean to ask.
Yes, but what I intend to ask for you can do.
LADY GREY.
Why, then, I will do what your grace commands.
Well, then, I will do what your Grace asks.
GLOSTER.
He plies her hard; and much rain wears the marble.
He's chipping away at her; rain can wear down marble.
CLARENCE.
As red as fire! nay, then her wax must melt.
She's blushing red as fire! Well, she will melt.
LADY GREY.
Why stops my lord? shall I not hear my task?
Why have you stopped? Won't you tell me what I have to do?
KING EDWARD.
An easy task; 't is but to love a king.
An easy job; you just have to love a king.
LADY GREY.
That's soon perform'd, because I am a subject.
I can easily do that, because I am a subject.
KING EDWARD.
Why, then, thy husband's lands I freely give thee.
Well then, I freely give you your husband's lands.
LADY GREY.
I take my leave with many thousand thanks.
I leave you with much thanks.
GLOSTER.
The match is made; she seals it with a curtsy.
The agreement has been made; she seals it with her curtsy.
KING EDWARD.
But stay thee; 't is the fruits of love I mean.
But wait; it's what comes from love that I'm talking about.
LADY GREY.
The fruits of love I mean, my loving liege.
That's what I mean, my loving king.
KING EDWARD.
Ay, but, I fear me, in another sense.
What love, thinkst thou, I sue so much to get?
Yes, but I'm afraid you mean something different.
What you think I mean by the love that I have done so much to get?
LADY GREY.
My love till death, my humble thanks, my prayers;
That love which virtue begs, and virtue grants.
My love until death, my humble thanks, my prayers;
the love which goodness asks for, and goodness gives.
KING EDWARD.
No, by my troth, I did not mean such love.
No, I swear, I didn't mean love like that.
LADY GREY.
Why, then, you mean not as I thought you did.
Well then, you don't mean what I thought you did.
KING EDWARD.
But now you partly may perceive my mind.
But now you have an idea of what I mean.
LADY GREY.
My mind will never grant what I perceive
Your Highness aims at, if I aim aright.
I shall never give your Highness what
you want, if I'm guessing your intentions correctly.
KING EDWARD.
To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee.
To put it simply, I want to sleep with you.
LADY GREY.
To tell you plain, I had rather lie in prison.
To put it simply, I would rather sleep in prison.
KING EDWARD.
Why, then thou shalt not have thy husband's lands.
Why, then you will not have your husband's lands.
LADY GREY.
Why, then mine honesty shall be my dower,
For by that loss I will not purchase them.
Why, then my virtue shall be my inheritance,
for I will not buy them by losing that.
KING EDWARD.
Therein thou wrong'st thy children mightily.
You're doing a great wrong to your children.
LADY GREY.
Herein your highness wrongs both them and me.
But, mighty lord, this merry inclination
Accords not with the sadness of my suit;
Please you dismiss me either with ay or no.
Your Highness is doing a great wrong to both them and me.
But, mighty lord, this sort of joking
is not appropriate for my sorrowful business;
please send me away with a yes or no.
KING EDWARD.
Ay, if thou wilt say ay to my request.
No, if thou dost say no to my demand.
Yes, if you say yes to what I want.
No, if you say no to it.
LADY GREY.
Then
no, my lord. My suit is at an end.
Then no, my lord. That's the end of the matter.
GLOSTER.
The widow likes him not, she knits her brows.
The widow doesn't like him, she is frowning.
CLARENCE.
He is the bluntest wooer in Christendom.
He is the most unsubtle seducer in Christendom.
KING EDWARD.
[Aside.] Her looks doth argue her replete with
modesty,
Her words doth show her wit incomparable,
All her perfections challenge sovereignty;
One way or other she is for a king,
And she shall be my love, or else my queen.--
Say that King Edward take thee for his queen?
Her looks show that she is very modest,
and her words show that she's very intelligent,
she's perfect enough to be royal;
one way or the other the King will have her,
and she will be my lover, or else my queen.
What if King Edward asked you to be his queen?
LADY GREY.
'T is better said than done, my gracious lord;
I am a subject fit to jest withal,
But far unfit to be a sovereign.
It's better said than done, my gracious lord;
I am a subject with whom you can have a joke,
but I'm not cut out to be royal.
KING EDWARD.
Sweet widow, by my state I swear to thee,
I speak no more than what my soul intends;
And that is to enjoy thee for my love.
Sweet widow, I swear on my throne
that I am speaking with utter seriousness;
I want to give you my love.
LADY GREY.
And that is more than I will yield unto.
I know I am too mean to be your queen,
And yet too good to be your concubine.
And that is more than I will accept.
I know I am too common to be your queen,
and I am to good to be your mistress.
KING EDWARD.
You cavil, widow; I did mean my queen.
You're nitpicking, widow; I meant for you to be my queen.
LADY GREY.
'T will grieve your grace my sons should call you
father.
Your Grace would not like having my sons
calling you father.
KING EDWARD.
No more than when my daughters call thee mother.
Thou art a widow, and thou hast some children;
And, by God's mother, I, being but a bachelor,
Have other some; why, 't is a happy thing
To be the father unto many sons.
Answer no more, for thou shalt be my queen.
No more than when my daughters call you mother.
You are a widow, and you have some children;
and, by Mary, I, being only a bachelor,
have some others; why, it's a good thing
to be the father to many sons.
Don't say any more, you shall be my queen.
GLOSTER.
The ghostly father now hath done his shrift.
Your holy father has finished his confession.
CLARENCE.
When he was made a shriver, 't was for shift.
When he confessed, it was for advantage.
KING EDWARD.
Brothers, you muse what chat we two have had.
Brothers, come and hear what we've been talking about.
[Gloster and Clarence come forward.]
GLOSTER.
The widow likes it not, for she looks very sad.
The widow doesn't like it, she looks very sad.
KING EDWARD.
You'd think it strange if I should marry her.
You would think it strange for me to marry her.
CLARENCE.
To whom, my lord?
Marry her to whom, my lord?
KING EDWARD.
Why, Clarence, to myself.
Why, Clarence, to me.
GLOSTER.
That would be ten days' wonder, at the least.
That would be a ten-day wonder, at least.
CLARENCE.
That's a day longer than a wonder lasts.
That's a day longer than a wonder usually lasts.
GLOSTER.
By so much is the wonder in extremes.
That's how amazing it would be.
KING EDWARD.
Well, jest on, brothers; I can tell you both,
Her suit is granted for her husband's lands.
Well, keep joking, brothers; I can tell you both,
I have given her back her husband's lands.
[Enter a Nobleman.]
NOBLEMAN.
My gracious lord, Henry your foe is taken,
And brought your prisoner to your palace gate.
My gracious lord, your enemy Henry has been captured,
and brought to the gates of your palace as your prisoner.
KING EDWARD.
See that he be convey'd unto the Tower.--
And go we, brothers, to the man that took him,
To question of his apprehension.--
Widow, go you along.--Lords, use her honourably.
See that he is taken to the Tower.
Brothers, we shall go and speak to the man who captured him,
to learn how it happened.
Widow, off you go. Lords, treat her well.
[Exeunt King Edward, Lady Grey, Clarence, and Nobleman.]
GLOSTER.
Ay, Edward will use women honourably.
Would he were wasted, marrow, bones, and all,
That from his loins no hopeful branch may spring,
To cross me from the golden time I look for!
And yet, between my soul's desire and me--
The lustful Edward's title buried--
Is Clarence, Henry, and his son young Edward,
And all the unlook'd-for issue of their bodies,
To take their rooms ere I can place myself;
A cold premeditation for my purpose!
Why, then I do but dream on sovereignty,
Like one that stands upon a promontory,
And spies a far-off shore where he would tread,
Wishing his foot were equal with his eye,
And chides the sea that sunders him from thence,
Saying, he'll lade it dry to have his way.
So do I wish the crown, being so far off,
And so I chide the means that keeps me from it;
And so I say I'll cut the causes off,
Flattering me with impossibilities.--
My eye's too quick, my heart o'erweens too much,
Unless my hand and strength could equal them.
Well, say there is no kingdom then for Richard,
What other pleasure can the world afford?
I'll make my heaven in a lady's lap,
And deck my body in gay ornaments,
And witch sweet ladies with my words and looks.
O miserable thought! and more unlikely
Than to accomplish twenty golden crowns.
Why, love forswore me in my mother's womb;
And, for I should not deal in her soft laws,
She did corrupt frail nature with some bribe
To shrink mine arm up like a wither'd shrub;
To make an envious mountain on my back,
Where sits deformity to mock my body;
To shape my legs of an unequal size;
To disproportion me in every part,
Like to a chaos, or an unlick'd bear-whelp
That carries no impression like the dam.
And am I then a man to be belov'd?
O, monstrous fault, to harbour such a thought!
Then, since this earth affords no joy to me
But to command, to check, to o'erbear such
As are of
better person than myself,
I'll make my heaven to dream upon the crown,
And, whiles I live, to account this world but hell
Until my mis-shap'd trunk that bear this head
Be round impaled with a glorious crown.
And yet I know not how to get the crown,
For many lives stand between me and home,
And I, like one lost in a thorny wood,
That rends the thorns, and is rent with the thorns,
Seeking a way, and straying from the way,
Not knowing how to find the open air,
But toiling desperately to find it out,
Torment myself to catch the English crown;
And from that torment I will free myself,
Or hew my way out with a bloody axe.
Why, I can smile, and murther while I smile,
And cry 'Content!' to that which grieves my heart,