The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  A thousand pound a year, annual support,

  Out of his grace he adds.

  You have a gentle mind, and heavenly blessings

  come to such creatures. So that you, fair Lady,

  may see that I speak sincerely, and that your many virtues

  have been noticed by the highest, his Majesty the King

  asks me to convey his good opinion of you, and

  intends to honour you with no lesser title than

  Marchioness of Pembroke: and from his kindness

  he adds to the title a pension of a thousand pounds a year.

  ANNE

  I do not know

  What kind of my obedience I should tender;

  More than my all is nothing: nor my prayers

  Are not words duly hallow'd, nor my wishes

  More worth than empty vanities; yet prayers and wishes

  Are all I can return. Beseech your lordship,

  Vouchsafe to speak my thanks and my obedience,

  As from a blushing handmaid, to his highness;

  Whose health and royalty I pray for.

  I do not know

  how I should reply to this; everything I have is not enough: and my prayers

  are not holy enough, and my wishes

  are not worth more than empty trinkets; but prayers and wishes

  are all I can give in return. I beg your Lordship,

  be so kind as to give my thanks and my obedience,

  as from a blushing handmaiden, to his Highness;

  I pray for his health and his position.

  Chamberlain

  Lady,

  I shall not fail to approve the fair conceit

  The king hath of you.

  Aside

  I have perused her well;

  Beauty and honour in her are so mingled

  That they have caught the king: and who knows yet

  But from this lady may proceed a gem

  To lighten all this isle? I'll to the king,

  And say I spoke with you.

  Lady,

  I won't fail to confirm the good opinion

  the King has of you.

  [Aside]

  I have examined her well;

  duty and honour are so mixed in her

  that they have attracted the King: and who can tell

  that this lady might not produce a gem

  to brighten this whole island?

  I'll go to the King,

  and say I spoke with you.

  Exit Chamberlain

  ANNE

  My honour'd lord.

  My honoured Lord.

  Old Lady

  Why, this it is; see, see!

  I have been begging sixteen years in court,

  Am yet a courtier beggarly, nor could

  Come pat betwixt too early and too late

  For any suit of pounds; and you, O fate!

  A very fresh-fish here--fie, fie, fie upon

  This compell'd fortune!--have your mouth fill'd up

  Before you open it.

  Why this is it, see, see!

  I have been begging in court for sixteen years,

  and I'm still a begging courtier, and there's

  nowhere at all that I could ever

  get any sort of pension; and you, oh Fate!

  An absolute greenhorn here–damnation to this

  Fortune!–are given an absolute fortune

  before you've even asked for it.

  ANNE

  This is strange to me.

  This is strange to me.

  Old Lady

  How tastes it? is it bitter? forty pence, no.

  There was a lady once, 'tis an old story,

  That would not be a queen, that would she not,

  For all the mud in Egypt: have you heard it?

  How does it taste? Is it bitter? I'll bet forty pence it's not.

  There was a lady once, it's an old story,

  who said she wouldn't be Queen, that she wouldn't

  for all the mud in Egypt: have you heard it?

  ANNE

  Come, you are pleasant.

  Come, you are joking.

  Old Lady

  With your theme, I could

  O'ermount the lark. The Marchioness of Pembroke!

  A thousand pounds a year for pure respect!

  No other obligation! By my life,

  That promises moe thousands: honour's train

  Is longer than his foreskirt. By this time

  I know your back will bear a duchess: say,

  Are you not stronger than you were?

  If I had your reason to, I could

  sing louder than the lark. The Marchioness of Pembroke!

  A thousand pounds a year for nothing!

  No job to do! I swear,

  that promises more thousands: honour increases

  as time goes on. I think this shows

  that you could bear the title of Duchess: tell me,

  aren't you stronger than you were before?

  ANNE

  Good lady,

  Make yourself mirth with your particular fancy,

  And leave me out on't. Would I had no being,

  If this salute my blood a jot: it faints me,

  To think what follows.

  The queen is comfortless, and we forgetful

  In our long absence: pray, do not deliver

  What here you've heard to her.

  Good lady,

  amuse yourself with your strange fantasies,

  and leave me out of it. I would wish myself dead

  if this gave me any pleasure: it makes me faint,

  to think of what will follow.

  The Queen has no one to comfort her, and we are being forgetful

  by being absent for so long: please, do not tell her

  what you have heard here.

  Old Lady

  What do you think me?

  Who do you think I am?

  Exeunt

  Trumpets, sennet, and cornets. Enter two Vergers, with short silver wands; next them, two Scribes, in the habit of doctors; after them, CANTERBURY alone; after him, LINCOLN, Ely, Rochester, and Saint Asaph; next them, with some small distance, follows a Gentleman bearing the purse, with the great seal, and a cardinal's hat; then two Priests, bearing each a silver cross; then a Gentleman-usher bare-headed, accompanied with a Sergeant-at-arms bearing a silver mace; then two Gentlemen bearing two great silver pillars; after them, side by side, CARDINAL WOLSEY and CARDINAL CAMPEIUS; two Noblemen with the sword and mace. KING HENRY VIII takes place under the cloth of state; CARDINAL WOLSEY and CARDINAL CAMPEIUS sit under him as judges. QUEEN KATHARINE takes place some distance from KING HENRY VIII. The Bishops place themselves on each side the court, in manner of a consistory; below them, the Scribes. The Lords sit next the Bishops. The rest of the Attendants stand in convenient order about the stage.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY

  Whilst our commission from Rome is read,

  Let silence be commanded.

  Let there be silence

  while our orders from Rome are read.

  KING HENRY VIII

  What's the need?

  It hath already publicly been read,

  And on all sides the authority allow'd;

  You may, then, spare that time.

  What need is there?

  They have already been read out publicly,

  and everybody has agreed to their authority;

  you can save that trouble.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY

  Be't so. Proceed.

  So be it. Carry on.

  Scribe

  Say, Henry King of England, come into the court.

  Henry King of England, come into the court.

  Crier

  Henry King of England, & c.

  Henry King of England!

  KING HENRY VIII

  Here.

  I am here.

  Scribe

  Say, Katharine Queen of England, come into the c
ourt.

  Katherine, Queen of England, come in to the court!

  Crier

  Katharine Queen of England, & c.

  Katherine Queen of England!

  QUEEN KATHARINE makes no answer, rises out of her chair, goes about the court, comes to KING HENRY VIII, and kneels at his feet; then speaks

  QUEEN KATHARINE

  Sir, I desire you do me right and justice;

  And to bestow your pity on me: for

  I am a most poor woman, and a stranger,

  Born out of your dominions; having here

  No judge indifferent, nor no more assurance

  Of equal friendship and proceeding. Alas, sir,

  In what have I offended you? what cause

  Hath my behavior given to your displeasure,

  That thus you should proceed to put me off,

  And take your good grace from me? Heaven witness,

  I have been to you a true and humble wife,

  At all times to your will conformable;

  Ever in fear to kindle your dislike,

  Yea, subject to your countenance, glad or sorry

  As I saw it inclined: when was the hour

  I ever contradicted your desire,

  Or made it not mine too? Or which of your friends

  Have I not strove to love, although I knew

  He were mine enemy? what friend of mine

  That had to him derived your anger, did I

  Continue in my liking? nay, gave notice

  He was from thence discharged. Sir, call to mind

  That I have been your wife, in this obedience,

  Upward of twenty years, and have been blest

  With many children by you: if, in the course

  And process of this time, you can report,

  And prove it too, against mine honour aught,

  My bond to wedlock, or my love and duty,

  Against your sacred person, in God's name,

  Turn me away; and let the foul'st contempt

  Shut door upon me, and so give me up

  To the sharp'st kind of justice. Please you sir,

  The king, your father, was reputed for

  A prince most prudent, of an excellent

  And unmatch'd wit and judgment: Ferdinand,

  My father, king of Spain, was reckon'd one

  The wisest prince that there had reign'd by many

  A year before: it is not to be question'd

  That they had gather'd a wise council to them

  Of every realm, that did debate this business,

  Who deem'd our marriage lawful: wherefore I humbly

  Beseech you, sir, to spare me, till I may

  Be by my friends in Spain advised; whose counsel

  I will implore: if not, i' the name of God,

  Your pleasure be fulfill'd!

  Sir, I ask you to give me my rights and justice, and to give me your pity; for

  I am a very poor woman, and a foreigner,

  born outside your kingdom: I do not have

  an impartial judge here, nor any assurance

  that I will be treated equally or with justice. Alas, Sir,

  how have I offended you? What reason

  has my behaviour given you to be displeased,

  so that you take these steps to discard me

  and take away your good grace from me? As heaven is my witness,

  I have been a faithful and obedient wife to you,

  always obeying your will,

  always afraid to attract your dislike,

  always following your moods, happy or sad

  as I saw you. When did I ever

  go against your wishes

  or refuse to imitate you? Which of your friends

  have I not tried to love, even if I knew

  he was my enemy? What friend of mine

  did I carry on liking if he had

  annoyed you? When did I fail

  to send him away? Sir, remember

  that I have been your obedient wife

  for more than twenty years, and have been blessed

  with many children by you. If over

  this period you can point to,

  with proof, anything against my honour,

  my marriage vows, or my love and duty

  to your holy person; then in God’s name

  turn me away, and let the foulest contempt

  close the door upon me, and abandon me

  to the harshest kind of justice. If you please, sir,

  your father the King had a reputation as being

  a very prudent prince, with excellent,

  matchless intelligence and judgement: Ferdinand

  my father, King of Spain, was thought to be

  the wisest prince who had ruled there

  for many years. It is beyond doubt

  that they gathered a wise council around them

  from every country, and they debated this business,

  and agreed our marriage was lawful: and so I humbly

  beg you sir to spare me until I may

  be advised by my friends in Spain, whose advice

  I will ask for. If not, may you to what you wish

  in the name of God.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY

  You have here, lady,

  And of your choice, these reverend fathers; men

  Of singular integrity and learning,

  Yea, the elect o' the land, who are assembled

  To plead your cause: it shall be therefore bootless

  That longer you desire the court; as well

  For your own quiet, as to rectify

  What is unsettled in the king.

  You have here, Lady,

  these respected priests of your choice; men

  of unique integrity and learning,

  the greatest in the land, who have gathered

  to plead your cause: so it's pointless

  to ask the court for more time; as much

  for your own peace of mind, as to

  settle the king's.

  CARDINAL CAMPEIUS

  His grace

  Hath spoken well and justly: therefore, madam,

  It's fit this royal session do proceed;

  And that, without delay, their arguments

  Be now produced and heard.

  His Grace

  has spoken well and fairly: therefore, madam,

  it's right that this royal court should proceed;

  and that, without delay, their arguments

  should now be produced and heard.

  QUEEN KATHARINE

  Lord cardinal,

  To you I speak.

  Lord Cardinal,

  I am addressing you.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY

  Your pleasure, madam?

  What is it you wish, madam?

  QUEEN KATHARINE

  Sir,

  I am about to weep; but, thinking that

  We are a queen, or long have dream'd so, certain

  The daughter of a king, my drops of tears

  I'll turn to sparks of fire.

  Sir,

  I am about to weep; but, thinking that

  I am a Queen, or I have certainly dreamt I am for a long time,

  and certainly I am the daughter of the King, my teardrops

  will turn into sparks of fire.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY

  Be patient yet.

  Remain calm.

  QUEEN KATHARINE

  I will, when you are humble; nay, before,

  Or God will punish me. I do believe,

  Induced by potent circumstances, that

  You are mine enemy, and make my challenge

  You shall not be my judge: for it is you

  Have blown this coal betwixt my lord and me;

  Which God's dew quench! Therefore I say again,

  I utterly abhor, yea, from my soul

  Refuse you for my judge; whom, yet once more,

  I hold my most malicious foe, and think not

 
At all a friend to truth.

  I shall be, when you are humble; in fact before that,

  or God will punish me. I believe,

  due to strong evidence, that

  you are my enemy, and I ask

  that you should not be my judge: it is you

  who has stirred up this storm between my lord and me;

  may God's sweetness calm it! And so I say again,

  I utterly refuse, from the depths of my soul,

  to have you as my judge; someone whom, I say again,

  I think is my most vicious enemy, and I do not think

  a truthful one.

  CARDINAL WOLSEY

  I do profess

  You speak not like yourself; who ever yet

  Have stood to charity, and display'd the effects

  Of disposition gentle, and of wisdom

  O'ertopping woman's power. Madam, you do me wrong:

  I have no spleen against you; nor injustice

  For you or any: how far I have proceeded,

  Or how far further shall, is warranted

  By a commission from the consistory,

  Yea, the whole consistory of Rome. You charge me

  That I have blown this coal: I do deny it:

  The king is present: if it be known to him

  That I gainsay my deed, how may he wound,

  And worthily, my falsehood! yea, as much

  As you have done my truth. If he know

  That I am free of your report, he knows

  I am not of your wrong. Therefore in him

  It lies to cure me: and the cure is, to

  Remove these thoughts from you: the which before

  His highness shall speak in, I do beseech

  You, gracious madam, to unthink your speaking

  And to say so no more.

  I swear

  that you are not yourself; you have always

  been kind and shown the effects

  of a gentle nature, and of wisdom

  greater than most women. Madam, you wrong me:

  I have no anger against you, and will be unjust

  to nobody: what I have done,