The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 276
these princely suitors that are already come?
Your father was a good man, and religious men at their
death sometimes have well-intentioned ideas, and that’s why we have the lottery
he came up with using these three trunks of gold,
silver and lead, where whoever can figure out the right answer
chooses you and the trunk won’t, don’t doubt it, be chosen by any
except the one who is right for you. But
are you having warm feelings toward any of
these princely suitors that have already arrived?
PORTIA
I pray thee, over-name them; and as thou namest
them, I will describe them; and, according to my
description, level at my affection.
I’ll tell you what—go over their names, and as you name
them, I will describe them, and according to my
description you will be able to guess how I feel about them.
NERISSA
First, there is the Neapolitan prince.
First, there is the Neapolitan prince.
PORTIA
Ay, that's a colt indeed, for he doth nothing but
talk of his horse; and he makes it a great
appropriation to his own good parts, that he can
shoe him himself. I am much afeard my lady his
mother played false with a smith.
Yes, now there’s a foolish youth, for sure, who does nothing but
talk about his horse, and he makes a big deal
that he has the unique ability of being able to
shoe the horse himself. I very much fear the woman
who is his mother had an affair with a blacksmith.
NERISSA
Then there is the County Palatine.
Next is the County Palatine.
PORTIA
He doth nothing but frown, as who should say 'If you
will not have me, choose:' he hears merry tales and
smiles not: I fear he will prove the weeping
philosopher when he grows old, being so full of
unmannerly sadness in his youth. I had rather be
married to a death's-head with a bone in his mouth
than to either of these. God defend me from these
two!
He does nothing but frown, as if to say ‘If you
do not choose me, I do not care.’ He hears happy stories and
does not smile at them: I suspect he will be the sad
philosopher when he grows old since he is so full of
inappropriate sadness in his youth. I would rather be
married to a skull with a bone in it mouth
than to either of these. God forbid I end up
with one of them!
NERISSA
How say you by the French lord, Monsieur Le Bon?
What do you think about the French lord, Monsieur Le Bon?
PORTIA
God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man.
In truth, I know it is a sin to be a mocker: but,
he! why, he hath a horse better than the
Neapolitan's, a better bad habit of frowning than
the Count Palatine; he is every man in no man; if a
throstle sing, he falls straight a capering: he will
fence with his own shadow: if I should marry him, I
should marry twenty husbands. If he would despise me
I would forgive him, for if he love me to madness, I
shall never requite him.
God made him so let’s call him a man.
Truth be told, I know it is a sin to make fun of people, but
him! He has a horse better than the prince
for Naples and a better way of frowning than
the Count Palatine; he is every man you’d want in no man. If a
bird begins to sing, he begins to prance; he will
fence with his own shadow to show off. If I were to marry him
I would marry twenty husbands. It he were to hate me
I would forgive him, and if he were to love me to madness, I
would never give him the same love.
NERISSA
What say you, then, to Falconbridge, the young baron
of England?
Well, what do you say about Falconbridge, the young baron
of England?
PORTIA
You know I say nothing to him, for he understands
not me, nor I him: he hath neither Latin, French,
nor Italian, and you will come into the court and
swear that I have a poor pennyworth in the English.
He is a proper man's picture, but, alas, who can
converse with a dumb-show? How oddly he is suited!
I think he bought his doublet in Italy, his round
hose in France, his bonnet in Germany and his
behavior every where.
I really have nothing to say about him because he does not understand
me, and I don’t understand him. He doesn’t speak Latin, French,
or Italian, and anyone in the court knows
I don’t know English of any value at all.
He’s really good looking, but who can
talk with someone who doesn’t understand them? And he was dressed so weirdly!
He must have bought his jacket in Italy, his tights
in France, his hat in Germany and his
way of behaving everywhere.
NERISSA
What think you of the Scottish lord, his neighbour?
What do you think of his neighbor, the Scottish lord?
PORTIA
That he hath a neighbourly charity in him, for he
borrowed a box of the ear of the Englishman and
swore he would pay him again when he was able: I
think the Frenchman became his surety and sealed
under for another.
I think he has a neighborly generosity about him, because he
took a slap to the ear by the Englishman and
swore he would pay him back as soon as he was able. I
think the Frenchman guaranteed he would help the Scotsman
and then added a slap of his own.
NERISSA
How like you the young German, the Duke of Saxony's nephew?
How do you like the young German, the Duke of Saxony’s nephew?
PORTIA
Very vilely in the morning, when he is sober, and
most vilely in the afternoon, when he is drunk: when
he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and
when he is worst, he is little better than a beast:
and the worst fall that ever fell, I hope I shall
make shift to go without him.
He’s pretty wretched in the morning, when he is sober, and
even more so in the afternoon, when he is drunk: when
he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and
when he is worst, he is not much better than an animal:
if he where to die, I would think I could
do okay without him.
NERISSA
If he should offer to choose, and choose the right
casket, you should refuse to perform your father's
will, if you should refuse to accept him.
If he wants to try and choose and he chooses the right
box, you would be refusing to go by what your father
wants if you were to refuse to marry him.
PORTIA
Therefore, for fear of the worst, I pray thee, set a
deep glass of rhenish wine on the contrary casket,
for if the devil be within and that temptation
without, I know he will choose it. I will do any
thing, Nerissa, ere I'll be married to a sponge.
I know, so for fear of the worst, let me ask you to place
a huge glass of Germa
n white wine on the wrong box
so that even if it is the wrong one he will be tempted
by the wine and I know he would choose it. I will do
anything, Nerissa, before I marry a drunk.
NERISSA
You need not fear, lady, the having any of these
lords: they have acquainted me with their
determinations; which is, indeed, to return to their
home and to trouble you with no more suit, unless
you may be won by some other sort than your father's
imposition depending on the caskets.
You don’t have to worry about having any of these
suitors: they have all told me their
decision is to, indeed, return to
their home and to not try to win you unless
you may be won in some other way than your father’s
command that they choose the correct box.
PORTIA
If I live to be as old as Sibylla, I will die as
chaste as Diana, unless I be obtained by the manner
of my father's will. I am glad this parcel of wooers
are so reasonable, for there is not one among them
but I dote on his very absence, and I pray God grant
them a fair departure.
If I live to be as old as Sibylla, I will die an
old maid unless I am won in the manner
my father has willed. I am glad this group of wooers
is so reasonable as to leave because there is not one of them
I care about except for their absence, so I wish them all
a good departure.
NERISSA
Do you not remember, lady, in your father's time, a
Venetian, a scholar and a soldier, that came hither
in company of the Marquis of Montferrat?
Do you remember when your father was alive, a
Venetian—a scholar and a soldier—who came her
in the company of the Marquis of Montferrat?
PORTIA
Yes, yes, it was Bassanio; as I think, he was so called.
Yes, yes I do. That was Bassanio, at least I think that was his name.
NERISSA
True, madam: he, of all the men that ever my foolish
eyes looked upon, was the best deserving a fair lady.
Yes, madam: he, of all the men that I’ve ever laid
eyes on, was the best and deserving of a beautiful woman.
PORTIA
I remember him well, and I remember him worthy of
thy praise.
I remember him well, and I recall him being worthy of
your praise.
Enter a Serving-man
How now! what news?
What is it? What is the news?
Servant
The four strangers seek for you, madam, to take
their leave: and there is a forerunner come from a
fifth, the Prince of Morocco, who brings word the
prince his master will be here to-night.
There are four strangers here for you, madam, they want
to say goodbye: and there is a messenger coming from a
fifth, the Prince of Morocco, who brings news that
the prince, his master, will be here tonight.
PORTIA
If I could bid the fifth welcome with so good a
heart as I can bid the other four farewell, I should
be glad of his approach: if he have the condition
of a saint and the complexion of a devil, I had
rather he should shrive me than wive me. Come,
Nerissa. Sirrah, go before.
Whiles we shut the gates
upon one wooer, another knocks at the door.
If I could say hello to the fifth with as much
enthusiasm as I say goodbye to the other four, I would
be glad of his arrival: if he is like
a saint but looks like a devil, I would
rather he would forgive me rather than marry me. Come on,
Nerissa. Sir, go ahead.
While we shut the gates
upon one wooer, another one knocks at the door.
Exeunt
Enter BASSANIO and SHYLOCK
SHYLOCK
Three thousand ducats; well.
Three thousand ducats, well.
BASSANIO
Ay, sir, for three months.
Yes, sir, for three months.
SHYLOCK
For three months; well.
For three months, well, let’s see.
BASSANIO
For the which, as I told you, Antonio shall be bound.
The amount of which, as I told you, Antonio will guarantee to pay.
SHYLOCK
Antonio shall become bound; well.
Antonio will guarantee it, well, let’s see.
BASSANIO
May you stead me? will you pleasure me? shall I
know your answer?
Will you help me? Will you gratify me? Can I
know your answer?
SHYLOCK
Three thousand ducats for three months and Antonio bound.
Three thousand ducats for three months and Antonio will guarantee it.
BASSANIO
Your answer to that.
What is your answer?
SHYLOCK
Antonio is a good man.
Antonio is a good man.
BASSANIO
Have you heard any imputation to the contrary?
Have you heard anyone say anything to contradict that?
SHYLOCK
Oh, no, no, no, no: my meaning in saying he is a
good man is to have you understand me that he is
sufficient. Yet his means are in supposition: he
hath an argosy bound to Tripolis, another to the
Indies; I understand moreover, upon the Rialto, he
hath a third at Mexico, a fourth for England, and
other ventures he hath, squandered abroad. But ships
are but boards, sailors but men: there be land-rats
and water-rats, water-thieves and land-thieves, I
mean pirates, and then there is the peril of waters,
winds and rocks. The man is, notwithstanding,
sufficient. Three thousand ducats; I think I may
take his bond.
Oh. No, no, no, no. What I meant when I said he is a
good man is that I am saying he is
sufficient. Even though his investments are tied up: he
has a ship on its way to Tripolis and another headed toward
the Indies. I also understand, from people at Rialto, he
has a third ship at Mexico, a fourth bound for England, and
many other business ventures abroad on the seas. But ships
are just made of wood, and sailors are men. There are land rats
and water rats, water thieves and land thieves. I
mean pirates, and then there is the danger of the waters,
winds and rocks. The man, despite all of this,
has money. Three thousand ducats, I think I will
let him guarantee it.
BASSANIO
Be assured you may.
You can be certain you can.
SHYLOCK
I will be assured I may; and, that I may be assured,
I will bethink me. May I speak with Antonio?
I will be certain I can, and so that I might be certain,
I’ll think of a way. May I speak with Antonio?
BASSANIO
If it please you to dine with us.
You are welcome to join us for dinner.
SHYLOCK
Yes, to smell pork; to eat of the habitation which
your prophet the Nazarite conjured the devil into. I
will buy with you, sell with you, talk with you,
walk with you, and so following, but I will not eat
>
with you, drink with you, nor pray with you. What
news on the Rialto? Who is he comes here?
What, and smell pork? To eat of the sort of animal which
your prophet Jesus charmed the devil into? I
will buy with you, sell with you, talk with you,
walk with you, and so on, but I will not eat
with you, drink with you, or pray with you. What’s
the news from the Rialto? Who is here now?
Enter ANTONIO
BASSANIO
This is Signior Antonio.
This is Signior Antonio.
SHYLOCK
[Aside] How like a fawning publican he looks!
I hate him for he is a Christian,
But more for that in low simplicity
He lends out money gratis and brings down
The rate of usance here with us in Venice.
If I can catch him once upon the hip,
I will feed fat the ancient grudge I bear him.
He hates our sacred nation, and he rails,
Even there where merchants most do congregate,
On me, my bargains and my well-won thrift,
Which he calls interest. Cursed be my tribe,
If I forgive him!
[Aside] He looks just like a gloating tax collector!
I hate him because he is a Christian.
But more so because he foolishly
Lends out money with no interest and brings down
The rate of interest for us here in Venice.
If I can just get him into an unfavorable position just once,
I will satisfy the old grudge I have against him.
He hates our sacred nation and he rants