The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

With a low fog as dark as the Acheron River,

  And lead these testy rivals so astray

  And make these fighting men lose each other

  As one come not within another's way.

  So they do not end up dueling.

  Like to Lysander sometime frame thy tongue,

  Sometimes speak like Lysander

  Then stir Demetrius up with bitter wrong;

  And get Demetrius angry at being wronged,

  And sometime rail thou like Demetrius;

  And sometimes speak like Demetrius.

  And from each other look thou lead them thus,

  Like this keep them away from each other

  Till o'er their brows death-counterfeiting sleep

  Until they fall asleep, appearing almost like they are dead.

  With leaden legs and batty wings doth creep:

  Then, creep quietly up to them with bat’s wings

  Then crush this herb into Lysander's eye;

  And put this antidote into Lysander’s eye

  Whose liquor hath this virtuous property,

  Which will, by it’s good qualities,

  To take from thence all error with his might,

  Remove the former potion

  And make his eyeballs roll with wonted sight.

  And make his eyes return to their natural sight.

  When they next wake, all this derision

  When they wake back up, all of this fighting

  Shall seem a dream and fruitless vision,

  Shall seem like a dream with no aftereffects,

  And back to Athens shall the lovers wend,

  And the lovers shall go back to Athens

  With league whose date till death shall never end.

  With their beloveds in order to marry them.

  Whiles I in this affair do thee employ,

  While you do this job,

  I'll to my queen and beg her Indian boy;

  I will go to Queen Titania and ask for her Indian boy

  And then I will her charmed eye release

  And then will give her eye the antidote so that she stops

  From monster's view, and all things shall be peace.

  Loving the monster, and finally all things will be peaceful.

  PUCK

  My fairy lord, this must be done with haste,

  My king, this should be done quickly

  For night's swift dragons cut the clouds full fast,

  Since night is already fading quickly

  And yonder shines Aurora's harbinger;

  And far in the east the morning appears to be breaking.

  At whose approach, ghosts, wandering here and there,

  When that happens, the ghosts that wander about

  Troop home to churchyards: damned spirits all,

  Return to their homes in the graveyards, these damned spirits

  That in crossways and floods have burial,

  Who were not buried in holy grounds

  Already to their wormy beds are gone;

  Have already returned to their wormy graves.

  For fear lest day should look their shames upon,

  They are afraid that day will look at their shame

  They willfully themselves exile from light

  So they choose to stay away from the light

  And must for aye consort with black-brow'd night.

  And instead only come out at night.

  OBERON

  But we are spirits of another sort:

  We are different spirits than them.

  I with the morning's love have oft made sport,

  I have often played in the morning with the morning’s blessing

  And, like a forester, the groves may tread,

  And am allowed, like a hunter, to walk through the forests

  Even till the eastern gate, all fiery-red,

  Even until the east is as red as fire

  Opening on Neptune with fair blessed beams,

  And the sun rises over the oceans, its blessed beams

  Turns into yellow gold his salt green streams.

  Turning the salty green seawater golden yellow.

  But, notwithstanding, haste; make no delay:

  In any case, hurry along

  We may effect this business yet ere day.

  So that we can finish this work before day starts.

  Exit

  PUCK

  Up and down, up and down,

  Up and down, and back and forth,

  I will lead them up and down:

  I will lead them all over.

  I am fear'd in field and town:

  Those who live in the town and the fields are afraid of me.

  Goblin, lead them up and down.

  I am Goblin who will lead them all over.

  Here comes one.

  Here is one now.

  Re-enter LYSANDER

  LYSANDER

  Where art thou, proud Demetrius? speak thou now.

  Where are you, Demetrius? Tell me.

  PUCK

  Here, villain; drawn and ready. Where art thou?

  Here, you villain, with my sword ready. Where are you?

  LYSANDER

  I will be with thee straight.

  I will be near you soon enough.

  PUCK

  Follow me, then,

  Follow me, then,

  To plainer ground.

  To a good ground for battle.

  Exit LYSANDER, as following the voice

  Re-enter DEMETRIUS

  DEMETRIUS

  Lysander! speak again:

  Lysander, speak!

  Thou runaway, thou coward, art thou fled?

  You coward, have you run away?

  Speak! In some bush? Where dost thou hide thy head?

  Speak! Are you hiding in a bush? Where?

  PUCK

  Thou coward, art thou bragging to the stars,

  You coward, are you bragging to the heavens

  Telling the bushes that thou look'st for wars,

  And telling all of the bushes that you are ready to fight,

  And wilt not come? Come, recreant; come, thou child;

  But will not come at me? Come, miscreant, come you child.

  I'll whip thee with a rod: he is defiled

  I will beat you with a stick. Whoever

  That draws a sword on thee.

  Pulls a sword on me will become insulted.

  DEMETRIUS

  Yea, art thou there?

  Hey, where are you?

  PUCK

  Follow my voice: we'll try no manhood here.

  Follow my voice, we will not fight here.

  Exeunt

  Re-enter LYSANDER

  LYSANDER

  He goes before me and still dares me on:

  When I come where he calls, then he is gone.

  The villain is much lighter-heel'd than I:

  I follow'd fast, but faster he did fly;

  That fallen am I in dark uneven way,

  And here will rest me.

  Lies down

  Come, thou gentle day!

  For if but once thou show me thy grey light,

  I'll find Demetrius and revenge this spite.

  Sleeps

  Re-enter PUCK and DEMETRIUS

  PUCK

  Ho, ho, ho! Coward, why comest thou not?

  Ha ha! Coward, why haven’t you come yet?

  DEMETRIUS

  Abide me, if thou darest; for well I wot

  Stay where you are, if you dare. I see

  Thou runn'st before me, shifting every place,

  You running ahead of me, changing your place,

  And darest not stand, nor look me in the face.

  Because you do not dare stop and stand up to me.

  Where art thou now?

  Now where are you?

  PUCK

  Come hither: I am here.

  Come over here, I am here.

  DEMETRIUS

  Nay, then, thou mock'st me. T
hou shalt buy this dear,

  No, you are mocking me. You will pay for this

  If ever I thy face by daylight see:

  If I ever see you in the daylight.

  Now, go thy way. Faintness constraineth me

  Go along, I am too tired and must

  To measure out my length on this cold bed.

  Stretch out on the ground to sleep.

  By day's approach look to be visited.

  Prepare yourself to fight in the morning.

  Lies down and sleeps

  Re-enter HELENA

  HELENA

  O weary night, O long and tedious night,

  Oh night that has been so long and tedious,

  Abate thy hour! Shine comforts from the east,

  Please end! Let the daylight break from the east

  That I may back to Athens by daylight,

  So that I can get back to Athens easily

  From these that my poor company detest:

  And leave these supposed friends who really hate me.

  And sleep, that sometimes shuts up sorrow's eye,

  Now I will sleep, and hope that sleep can quell my sorrow

  Steal me awhile from mine own company.

  By removing me from myself for a little.

  Lies down and sleeps

  PUCK

  Yet but three? Come one more;

  I’ve seen only three so far, where is the other?

  Two of both kinds make up four.

  Two men and two women make four for the company.

  Here she comes, curst and sad:

  Here comes Hermia, cursed and sad:

  Cupid is a knavish lad,

  Cupid is a mean prankster

  Thus to make poor females mad.

  To women feel this poorly.

  Re-enter HERMIA

  HERMIA

  Never so weary, never so in woe,

  I have never been this exhausted or this sad,

  Bedabbled with the dew and torn with briers,

  And I am wet with dew, and scratched by the thorns.

  I can no further crawl, no further go;

  I cannot crawl any farther, much less walk.

  My legs can keep no pace with my desires.

  My legs are not as strong as my desire to get back to Athens,

  Here will I rest me till the break of day.

  So I will rest here for the rest of the night, until morning.

  Heavens shield Lysander, if they mean a fray!

  God protect Lysander if there is a duel!

  Lies down and sleeps

  PUCK

  On the ground

  Sleep here

  Sleep sound:

  On the ground

  I'll apply

  While I put this potion

  To your eye,

  In your eye,

  Gentle lover, remedy.

  Gentle lover, and it will fix you.

  Squeezing the juice on LYSANDER's eyes

  When thou wakest,

  When you wake,

  Thou takest

  You will feel

  True delight

  Your true love again

  In the sight

  After you see

  Of thy former lady's eye:

  Hermia, whom you formerly loved.

  And the country proverb known,

  The saying in the country

  That every man should take his own,

  That “Every man should take his own,”

  In your waking shall be shown:

  And you will prove this when you wake:

  Jack shall have Jill;

  Jack will love Jill

  Nought shall go ill;

  And neither shall be upset,

  The man shall have his mare again, and all shall be well.

  The man will have his lady again, and everything will be good.

  Exit

  The same. LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, and HERMIA lying asleep.

  Enter TITANIA and BOTTOM; PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB, MOTH, MUSTARDSEED, and other Fairies attending; OBERON behind unseen

  TITANIA

  Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed,

  Come over here and sit on this bed of flowers

  While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,

  While I brush your smooth cheeks

  And stick musk-roses in thy sleek smooth head,

  And places flowers in your hair

  And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy.

  And kiss your beautiful, large ears, my joy.

  BOTTOM

  Where's Peaseblossom?

  Where's Peaseblossom?

  PEASEBLOSSOM

  Ready.

  Here.

  BOTTOM

  Scratch my head Peaseblossom. Where's Mounsieur Cobweb?

  Please scratch my head, Peaseblossom. And where is Monsieur Cobweb?

  COBWEB

  Ready.

  Here.

  BOTTOM

  Mounsieur Cobweb, good mounsieur, get you your

  Monsieur Cobweb, good monsieur, fetch

  weapons in your hand, and kill me a red-hipped

  your weapons and kill a red-striped

  humble-bee on the top of a thistle; and, good

  bumblebee sitting on the top of a thistle for me, and then,

  mounsieur, bring me the honey-bag. Do not fret

  monsieur, bring me honey from it. Do not worry

  yourself too much in the action, mounsieur; and,

  too much while you are doing this, monsieur, and,

  good mounsieur, have a care the honey-bag break not;

  good monsieur, try not to break the honey bag:

  I would be loath to have you overflown with a

  I would hate to see you covered with

  honey-bag, signior. Where's Mounsieur Mustardseed?

  honey, signior. Where’s Monsieur Mustardseed?

  MUSTARDSEED

  Ready.

  Here.

  BOTTOM

  Give me your neaf, Mounsieur Mustardseed. Pray you,

  Give me your hand, Monsieur Mustardseed. Please,

  leave your courtesy, good mounsieur.

  do what I ask, good monsieur.

  MUSTARDSEED

  What's your Will?

  What would you like me to do?

  BOTTOM

  Nothing, good mounsieur, but to help Cavalery Cobweb

  Nothing, good monsieur, except to help Calvary Cobweb

  to scratch. I must to the barber's, monsieur; for

  scratch my head. I must go to a barber, monsieur, because

  methinks I am marvellous hairy about the face; and I

  I think my beard has grown out all around my face,

  am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me,

  and my face is so tender that if hair only tickles it slightly,

  I must scratch.

  I must scratch it.

  TITANIA

  What, wilt thou hear some music,

  Would you like to hear some music,

  my sweet love?

  my love?

  BOTTOM

  I have a reasonable good ear in music. Let's have

  I have a good ear for music. Someone play

  the tongs and the bones.

  The triangle and the keys.

  TITANIA

  Or say, sweet love, what thou desirest to eat.

  Or maybe, my love, you can say what you would like to eat.

  BOTTOM

  Truly, a peck of provender: I could munch your good

  Really, a good bit of grass: I could munch on some

  dry oats. Methinks I have a great desire to a bottle

  dry oats. I think I really want a portion

  of hay: good hay, sweet hay, hath no fellow.

  of hay. There is nothing like good, sweet hay.

  TITANIA

  I have a venturous fairy that shall seek

  I have a fairy that will find

  The squirrel's hoar
d, and fetch thee new nuts.

  The nuts a squirrel has hidden for winter, and will fetch you some of them.

  BOTTOM

  I had rather have a handful or two of dried peas.

  I’d rather eat a handful or two of dried peas.

  But, I pray you, let none of your people stir me: I

  But, please, don’t let your fairies wait on me now: I

  have an exposition of sleep come upon me.

  am feeling incredibly tired all of a sudden.

  TITANIA

  Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms.

  Then sleep, and I will put my arms around you.

  Fairies, begone, and be all ways away.

  Fairies, go away in all directions.

  Exeunt fairies

  So doth the woodbine the sweet honeysuckle

  The woodbine plant and the honeysuckle

  Gently entwist; the female ivy so

  Wrap around each other just as I am doing to you. So does the female ivy

  Enrings the barky fingers of the elm.

  Wrapping around the bark trunk of the elm.

  O, how I love thee! how I dote on thee!

  I love you so much and want to give you so much!

  They sleep

  Enter PUCK

  OBERON

  [Advancing] Welcome, good Robin.

  Hello, good Robin.

  See'st thou this sweet sight?

  Do you see this sweet picture?

  Her dotage now I do begin to pity:

  I’m starting to pity her affection

  For, meeting her of late behind the wood,

  Because, when I met her recently here in the forest,

  Seeking sweet favours from this hateful fool,

  She was looking for gifts for this fool,

  I did upbraid her and fall out with her;

  And I argued and fought with her.

  For she his hairy temples then had rounded

  She has placed around his hairy head

  With a coronet of fresh and fragrant flowers;

  A crown of fresh, good smelling flowers:

  And that same dew, which sometime on the buds

  And the dew that rests on the flower buds,

  Was wont to swell like round and orient pearls,

  Which sometimes looks like perfectly round pearls from the Far East,