The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 443
SCENE II. Bohemia. The palace of POLIXENES.
Enter POLIXENES and CAMILLO
POLIXENES
I pray thee, good Camillo, be no more importunate:
'tis a sickness denying thee any thing; a death to
grant this.
Please, good Camillo, stop asking me:
it makes me ill to deny you anything; it would kill me
to give you this.
CAMILLO
It is fifteen years since I saw my country: though
I have for the most part been aired abroad, I
desire to lay my bones there. Besides, the penitent
king, my master, hath sent for me; to whose feeling
sorrows I might be some allay, or I o'erween to
think so, which is another spur to my departure.
It is fifteen years since I saw my country: though
since then I have mostly been breathing foreign air, I
would like to be buried there. Besides, the penitent
king, my master, has sent for me; and I might be able
to give him some comfort in his sorrow, or I presume
I can, which is another reason to want to go.
POLIXENES
As thou lovest me, Camillo, wipe not out the rest of
thy services by leaving me now: the need I have of
thee thine own goodness hath made; better not to
have had thee than thus to want thee: thou, having
made me businesses which none without thee can
sufficiently manage, must either stay to execute
them thyself or take away with thee the very
services thou hast done; which if I have not enough
considered, as too much I cannot, to be more
thankful to thee shall be my study, and my profit
therein the heaping friendships. Of that fatal
country, Sicilia, prithee speak no more; whose very
naming punishes me with the remembrance of that
penitent, as thou callest him, and reconciled king,
my brother; whose loss of his most precious queen
and children are even now to be afresh lamented.
Say to me, when sawest thou the Prince Florizel, my
son? Kings are no less unhappy, their issue not
being gracious, than they are in losing them when
they have approved their virtues.
As you love me, Camillo, don't wipe out everything
you've done for me by leaving me now: you have
made me come to rely on you through your own goodness;
it would be better not to have had you, than to lose you:
you have started things for me which only you can finish,
you must either stay and do them yourself, or destroy
all the good things that you have done: if I haven't
rewarded you enough (I can never reward you enough), I shall
learn how to be more grateful; and the profit I get from that
would be more of your friendly services. Please don't speak any more
of that fateful country, Sicily; the very name of it
hurts me with the memory of that penitent
(as you call him) and reconciled King, my
brother; the loss of his most precious queen and
children are still being mourned. Tell
me, when did you last see Prince Florizel, my son?
Kings are just as unhappy when their children are not
good, as they are if they lose them when they
know that they are good.
CAMILLO
Sir, it is three days since I saw the prince. What
his happier affairs may be, are to me unknown: but I
have missingly noted, he is of late much retired
from court and is less frequent to his princely
exercises than formerly he hath appeared.
Sir, it is three days since I saw the prince. What
he has to do that is more important, I don't know:
but he has been conspicuous by his absence recently
from the court and does not undertake his princely
exercises as often as he used it.
POLIXENES
I have considered so much, Camillo, and with some
care; so far that I have eyes under my service which
look upon his removedness; from whom I have this
intelligence, that he is seldom from the house of a
most homely shepherd; a man, they say, that from
very nothing, and beyond the imagination of his
neighbours, is grown into an unspeakable estate.
I have thought about this, Camillo, and with some
care; so much so that I have spies watching
him when he is away; they have given me reports
that he is seldom away from the house of a
very lowly shepherd; a man, they say, that started
with absolutely nothing, and has acquired a vast
fortune, which his neighbours can't explain.
CAMILLO
I have heard, sir, of such a man, who hath a
daughter of most rare note: the report of her is
extended more than can be thought to begin from such a cottage.
I have heard about such a man, sir, who has a
quite remarkable daughter: the reports of her
would seem to indicate she is far more remarkable than one would expect from such a cottage.
POLIXENES
That's likewise part of my intelligence; but, I
fear, the angle that plucks our son thither. Thou
shalt accompany us to the place; where we will, not
appearing what we are, have some question with the
shepherd; from whose simplicity I think it not
uneasy to get the cause of my son's resort thither.
Prithee, be my present partner in this business, and
lay aside the thoughts of Sicilia.
That's what I've been told too; but, I
fear, she is the hook that draws my son there. You
will come with me to the place; there we will,
without revealing who we are, speak with the
shepherd; I think we should easily be able to
elicit from the simple fellow why my son goes there.
Please, help me manage this business, and
forget about Sicily.
CAMILLO
I willingly obey your command.
I willingly do as you say.
POLIXENES
My best Camillo! We must disguise ourselves.
Exeunt
My splendid Camillo! We must disguise ourselves.
SCENE III. A road near the Shepherd's cottage.
Enter AUTOLYCUS, singing
AUTOLYCUS
When daffodils begin to peer,
With heigh! the doxy over the dale,
Why, then comes in the sweet o' the year;
For the red blood reigns in the winter's pale.
The white sheet bleaching on the hedge,
With heigh! the sweet birds, O, how they sing!
Doth set my pugging tooth on edge;
For a quart of ale is a dish for a king.
The lark, that tirra-lyra chants,
With heigh! with heigh! the thrush and the jay,
Are summer songs for me and my aunts,
While we lie tumbling in the hay.
I have served Prince Florizel and in my time
wore three-pile; but now I am out of service:
But shall I go mourn for that, my dear?
The pale moon shines by night:
And when I wander here and there,
I then do most go right.
If tinkers may have leave to live,
And bear the sow-skin budget,
Then my account I well may, give,
And in the stocks avouch it.
My traffic is
sheets; when the kite builds, look to
lesser linen. My father named me Autolycus; who
being, as I am, littered under Mercury, was likewise
a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles. With die and
drab I purchased this caparison, and my revenue is
the silly cheat. Gallows and knock are too powerful
on the highway: beating and hanging are terrors to
me: for the life to come, I sleep out the thought
of it. A prize! a prize!
Enter Clown
When daffodils begin to appear
the beggar woman comes over the fields
then comes the sweet time of the year
when red blood colours the white cheeks of winter.
White sheets drying on the hedge,
hey, the sweet birds, how they sing!
Set my thieving teeth on edge;
a quart of ale is a dish for a king.
The lark that sings its warbling song,
hey! Hey! The thrush and the jay
sing the summer songs for me and my girls
as we lie tumbling in the hay.
I have been in the service of Prince Florizel, and in my time have worn
thick velvet, but now I have no job.
But shall I let that make me sad?
The pale moon shines at night:
and when I wander here and there
that's the life for me.
If tinkers are allowed to live
and carry their pigskin bags
then I will stand up for myself
even in the stocks.
My trade is stealing sheets; when the kite is building his nest
you must look out for your small linen. My father named me Autolycus;
being who I am, born under Mercury, I am also
a thief of neglected things. Through dice and women I got
this outfit, and I get my living through
petty trickery. The gallows and beatings are too common
on the highway: beating and hanging terrify me:
as for the future, I don't worry about it.
Now, there's a prize!
Clown
Let me see: every 'leven wether tods; every tod
yields pound and odd shilling; fifteen hundred
shorn. what comes the wool to?
Let me see: every eleven fleeces makes a tod; every tod
pays a pound and a shilling; fifteen hundred
sheep sheared, how much does that come to?
AUTOLYCUS
[Aside]
If the springe hold, the cock's mine.
If the trap works, this bird is mine.
Clown
I cannot do't without counters. Let me see; what am
I to buy for our sheep-shearing feast? Three pound
of sugar, five pound of currants, rice,--what will
this sister of mine do with rice? But my father
hath made her mistress of the feast, and she lays it
on. She hath made me four and twenty nose-gays for
the shearers, three-man-song-men all, and very good
ones; but they are most of them means and bases; but
one puritan amongst them, and he sings psalms to
horn-pipes. I must have saffron to colour the warden
pies; mace; dates?--none, that's out of my note;
nutmegs, seven; a race or two of ginger, but that I
may beg; four pound of prunes, and as many of
raisins o' the sun.
I need an abacus for it. Let me see; what should
I buy for our sheep shearing celebrations? Three pounds
of sugar, five pounds of currents, rice–what does
that sister of my mine want with rice? But my father
has put her in charge of the feast, and she does it
well. She has made me twenty-four bouquets for
the shearers, all harmonious singers, and very good
ones; but most of them are tenors and basses; there is only
one treble amongst them and he's a puritan who sings psalms
accompanied by the hornpipe. I must have saffron to colour the apple pies;
mace; dates, no no dates–that's not on my list; seven
nutmegs; one or two ginger roots, but I can scrounge those;
four pounds of prunes, and the same of sun-dried raisins.
AUTOLYCUS
O that ever I was born!
Grovelling on the ground
Alas that I was ever born!
Clown
I' the name of me!
Well, for the life of me!
AUTOLYCUS
O, help me, help me! pluck but off these rags; and
then, death, death!
Oh, help me, help me! Just tear off these rags; and
then, give me death, death!
Clown
Alack, poor soul! thou hast need of more rags to lay
on thee, rather than have these off.
Alas, poor soul! You need more rags to put
round you, rather than take these ones off.
AUTOLYCUS
O sir, the loathsomeness of them offends me more
than the stripes I have received, which are mighty
ones and millions.
Oh sir, their foulness upsets me more
than the blows I have been given, of which
I've had millions of severe ones.
Clown
Alas, poor man! a million of beating may come to a
great matter.
Alas, poor man! A million beatings is a
serious business.
AUTOLYCUS
I am robbed, sir, and beaten; my money and apparel
ta'en from me, and these detestable things put upon
me.
I have been robbed, sir, and beaten; my money and clothes
taken from me, and these horrible things put on me.
Clown
What, by a horseman, or a footman?
Was the robber mounted or on foot?
AUTOLYCUS
A footman, sweet sir, a footman.
He was a footpad, sweet sir, a footpad.
Clown
Indeed, he should be a footman by the garments he
has left with thee: if this be a horseman's coat,
it hath seen very hot service. Lend me thy hand,
I'll help thee: come, lend me thy hand.
Indeed, these garments he has left with you show that
he was a footpad: if this is the coat of a horseman
it's seen a lot of service. Give me your hand,
I'll help you: come on, give me your hand.
AUTOLYCUS
O, good sir, tenderly, O!
Oh, good sir, gently, oh!
Clown
Alas, poor soul!
Alas, poor soul!
AUTOLYCUS
O, good sir, softly, good sir! I fear, sir, my
shoulder-blade is out.
Oh, good sir, gently, good sir! I fear, sir, I've
dislocated my collarbone.
Clown
How now! canst stand?
How's that! Can you stand?
AUTOLYCUS
[Picking his pocket]
Softly, dear sir; good sir, softly. You ha' done me
a charitable office.
Gently, dear sir; dear sir, gently. You have done me
a great favour.
Clown
Dost lack any money? I have a little money for thee.
Have you no money? I can give you a little.
AUTOLYCUS
No, good sweet sir; no, I beseech you, sir: I have
a kinsman not past three quarters of a mile hence,
unto whom I was going; I shall there have money, or
any thing I want: offer me no money, I pray you;
that kills my heart.
No, good sweet sir; no, I beg you, sir: I have
kinsman
not more than three quarters of a mile away,
whom I was going to see; he should give me money, or
anything I want: please don't offer me any money;
that would break my heart.
Clown
What manner of fellow was he that robbed you?
What sort of chap was the one who robbed you?
AUTOLYCUS
A fellow, sir, that I have known to go about with
troll-my-dames; I knew him once a servant of the
prince: I cannot tell, good sir, for which of his
virtues it was, but he was certainly whipped out of the court.
A fellow, sir, whom I have seen running a booth
at the fair; I know that he was once a servant of the
prince: I don't know, good sir, which of his virtues
it was for, but he was certainly whipped out of the court.
Clown
His vices, you would say; there's no virtue whipped
out of the court: they cherish it to make it stay
there; and yet it will no more but abide.
His vices, you should say; they don't whip virtue
out of the court: they love to keep it
there; but it only stops for a moment.
AUTOLYCUS
Vices, I would say, sir. I know this man well: he
hath been since an ape-bearer; then a
process-server, a bailiff; then he compassed a
motion of the Prodigal Son, and married a tinker's
wife within a mile where my land and living lies;
and, having flown over many knavish professions, he
settled only in rogue: some call him Autolycus.
Yes, I should say vices, sir. I know this man well: since