The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 460
My errands will make me have to wander a lot:
You'll win two days upon me.
You'll beat me by two days.
MECAENAS AGRIPPA
Sir, good success!
Good luck, sir!
LEPIDUS
Farewell.
Farewell.
Exeunt
Enter CLEOPATRA, CHARMIAN, IRAS, and ALEXAS
CLEOPATRA
Give me some music; music, moody food
Give me some music; music is that moody food
Of us that trade in love.
Of we that are in love.
Attendants
The music, ho!
Bring the music!
Enter MARDIAN
CLEOPATRA
Let it alone; let's to billiards: come, Charmian.
Leave it alone; let's play billiards: come, Charmian.
CHARMIAN
My arm is sore; best play with Mardian.
My arm is sore; you should play with Mardian.
CLEOPATRA
As well a woman with an eunuch play'd
A woman can play with a eunuch
As with a woman. Come, you'll play with me, sir?
As well as with another woman. Come, you'll play with me, sir?
MARDIAN
As well as I can, madam.
As well as I can, lady.
CLEOPATRA
And when good will is show'd, though't come
And when good will is shown, even if it isn't
too short,
enough,
The actor may plead pardon. I'll none now:
The actor may ask forgiveness. I won't do that now:
Give me mine angle; we'll to the river: there,
Get me my fishing gear; we'll go to the river: there,
My music playing far off, I will betray
My music playing far away, I will trickTawny-finn'd fishes; my bended hook shall pierce
the fishes; my bent hook will pierce
Their slimy jaws; and, as I draw them up,
Their slimy jaws; and as I pull them up,
I'll think them every one an Antony,
I'll think of each of them as an Antony,
And say 'Ah, ha! you're caught.'
And say 'Ah ha! You're caught.'
CHARMIAN
'Twas merry when
It was hilarious when
You wager'd on your angling; when your diver
You bet on your fishing skills; when your diver
Did hang a salt-fish on his hook, which he
Hung a salted dead fish on his hook, which he
With fervency drew up.
Worked very hard to pull up.
CLEOPATRA
That time,--O times!--
That time, --oh, those times! --
I laugh'd him out of patience; and that night
I laughed him until he was impatient with me; and that night
I laugh'd him into patience; and next morn,
And I laughed him into patience again; and the next morning
Ere the ninth hour, I drunk him to his bed;
Before nine o'clock, I got him drunk to his bed;
Then put my tires and mantles on him, whilst
Then put my clothes and crown on him, while
I wore his sword Philippan.
I wore his sword, named Philippan.
Enter a Messenger
O, from Italy
Oh, from Italy
Ram thou thy fruitful tidings in mine ears,
Bring the good news to my ears
That long time have been barren.
That for a long time have been like a desert.
Messenger
Madam, madam,--
CLEOPATRA
Antonius dead!--If thou say so, villain,
Oh no, Antony is dead! -- If you say so, villain,
Thou kill'st thy mistress: but well and free,
You kill your lady: but well and free,
If thou so yield him, there is gold, and here
If you free him like that, here is some gold, and here
My bluest veins to kiss; a hand that kings
My royal veins to kiss; a hand that kings
Have lipp'd, and trembled kissing.
Have trembled to kiss.
Messenger
First, madam, he is well.
First, madam, he is doing well.
CLEOPATRA
Why, there's more gold.
Why, here's more gold.
But, sirrah, mark, we use
But man, pay attention, we often
To say the dead are well: bring it to that,
Say the dead are well: if that is the case,
The gold I give thee will I melt and pour
I will melt the gold I give you and pour
Down thy ill-uttering throat.
Down your throat that tells bad news.
Messenger
Good madam, hear me.
Good lady, please listen to me.
CLEOPATRA
Well, go to, I will;
Well, go on, I will'
But there's no goodness in thy face: if Antony
But there's no goodness in your face: if Antony
Be free and healthful,--so tart a favour
Is free and healthy, -- so important a favor
To trumpet such good tidings! If not well,
To announce such good news! If not well,
Thou shouldst come like a Fury crown'd with snakes,
You should come like a Fury crowned with snakes,
Not like a formal man.
Not like an official man.
Messenger
Will't please you hear me?
Would you please listen to me?
CLEOPATRA
I have a mind to strike thee ere thou speak'st:
I am thinking maybe I'll hit you before you speak:
Yet if thou say Antony lives, is well,
But if you say Antony lives, is doing well,
Or friends with Caesar, or not captive to him,
Or friends with Caesar, or not his prisoner,
I'll set thee in a shower of gold, and hail
I'll put you in a shower of gold, and drop
Rich pearls upon thee.
Rich pearls on you.
Messenger
Madam, he's well.
Lady, he is doing well.
CLEOPATRA
Well said.
Good.
Messenger
And friends with Caesar.
And friends with Caesar.
CLEOPATRA
Thou'rt an honest man.
You are an honest man.
Messenger
Caesar and he are greater friends than ever.
Caesar and he are better friends than ever.
CLEOPATRA
Make thee a fortune from me.
Have a fortune from me.
Messenger
But yet, madam,--
But still, madam, --
CLEOPATRA
I do not like 'But yet,' it does allay
I do not like 'But still,' it ruins
The good precedence; fie upon 'But yet'!
What came before; out with 'But still'!
'But yet' is as a gaoler to bring forth
'But still" is like a jailor to bring ut
Some monstrous malefactor. Prithee, friend,
Some evil monster. Please, friend,
Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
Tell me the whole story,
The good and bad together: he's friends with Caesar:
The good and bad news together: he is friends with Caesar:
In state of health thou say'st; and thou say'st free.
You say healthy, and you say free.
Messenger
Free, madam! no; I made no such report:
Free, lady! No, I said no such thing:
He's bound unto Octavia.
He's tied to Octavia.
CLEOPATRA
For what good turn?
In what way?
Messenger
Madam, he's married to Octavia.
Madam, he married Octavia.
CLEOPATRA
The most infectious pestilence upon thee!
May you have the most terrible disease!
Strikes him down
Messenger
Good madam, patience.
Good lady, calm down.
CLEOPATRA
What say you? Hence,
What did you say? Go,
Strikes him again
Horrible villain! or I'll spurn thine eyes
Horrible villain! Or I'll pull out your eyes
Like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head:
Like balls in front of me; I'll pull out your hair:
She hales him up and down
Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd in brine,
You will be whipped with wire, and stewed in vinegar,
Smarting in lingering pickle.
With all the sting of pickles.
Messenger
Gracious madam,
Kind lady,
I that do bring the news made not the match.
I bring the news, I had nothing to do with the match.
CLEOPATRA
Say 'tis not so, a province I will give thee,
Say it is not true, I will give you a province,
And make thy fortunes proud: the blow thou hadst
And I will make you rich: the blows you received
Shall make thy peace for moving me to rage;
Will bring apology for bringing me to anger;
And I will boot thee with what gift beside
And I will send you away with better gifts
Thy modesty can beg.
Than you can ask for.
Messenger
He's married, madam.
He's married, lady.
CLEOPATRA
Rogue, thou hast lived too long.
Villain, you have lived too long.
Draws a knife
Messenger
Nay, then I'll run.
No, then I'll run.
What mean you, madam? I have made no fault.
What do you mean, lady? I have done nothing wrong.
Exit
CHARMIAN
Good madam, keep yourself within yourself:
Good lady, stay calm and be reasonable:
The man is innocent.
The man is innocent.
CLEOPATRA
Some innocents 'scape not the thunderbolt.
Some innocent people do not escape the thunderbolt.
Melt Egypt into Nile! and kindly creatures
Melt Egypt into the Nile! And may all gentle creatures
Turn all to serpents! Call the slave again:
Turn into snakes! Call the slave again:
Though I am mad, I will not bite him: call.
Though I am insane with rage, I will not bite him: call.
CHARMIAN
He is afeard to come.
He is afraid to come.
CLEOPATRA
I will not hurt him.
I won't hurt him.
Exit CHARMIAN
These hands do lack nobility, that they strike
These hands are not acting nobly, for them to hit
A meaner than myself; since I myself
Someone below me; since I myself
Have given myself the cause.
Have given myself the reason.
Re-enter CHARMIAN and Messenger
Come hither, sir.
Come here, sir.
Though it be honest, it is never good
Though it is honest, it is never good
To bring bad news: give to a gracious message
To bring bad news: give a happy message
An host of tongues; but let ill tidings tell
A crowd of speakers; but let bad news tell
Themselves when they be felt.
Itself when it is felt.
Messenger
I have done my duty.
I have done my job.
CLEOPATRA
Is he married?
Is he married?I cannot hate thee worser than I do,
I cannot hate you worse that I do,
If thou again say 'Yes.'
If you say 'Yes' again.
Messenger
He's married, madam.
He's married, lady.
CLEOPATRA
The gods confound thee! dost thou hold there still?
May the gods ruin you! Are you sticking to that?
Messenger
Should I lie, madam?
Should I lie, lady?
CLEOPATRA
O, I would thou didst,
Oh, I wish you were lying,
So half my Egypt were submerged and made
So half my Egypt were underwater and made
A cistern for scaled snakes! Go, get thee hence:
A container for scaled snakes! Go, get out:
Hadst thou Narcissus in thy face, to me
If you were the most handsome man in the world, to me
Thou wouldst appear most ugly. He is married?
You would appear incredibly ugly. He is married?
Messenger
I crave your highness' pardon.
Please forgive me, your highness.
CLEOPATRA
He is married?
He's married?
Messenger
Take no offence that I would not offend you:
Take no offense that I do not want to offend you:
To punish me for what you make me do
To punish me for what you force me to do
Seems much unequal: he's married to Octavia.
Seems very unfair: he's married to Octavia.
Exit Messenger
CHARMIAN
Good your highness, patience.
Please, your highness, calm down.
CLEOPATRA
In praising Antony, I have dispraised Caesar.
While praising Antony, I have insulted Caesar.
CHARMIAN
Many times, madam.
Many times, lady.
CLEOPATRA
I am paid for't now.
I am paying for it now.Lead me from hence:
Take me from here:
I faint: O Iras, Charmian! 'tis no matter.
I feel faint: Oh, by Iras, Charmian! It is not important.
Go to the fellow, good Alexas; bid him
Go to that man, good Alexas; tell him
Report the feature of Octavia, her years,
To tell the appearance of Octavia, her age,
Her inclination, let him not leave out
Her personality, let him not leave out
The colour of her hair: bring me word quickly.
The color of her hair: bring me answers quickly.
Exit ALEXAS
Let him for ever go:--let him not--Charmian,
Let him go forever: --do not let him -- Charmian,
Though he be painted one way like a Gorgon,
Even if one way he looks like a Gorgon [an ugly monster],
The other way's a Mars. Bid you Alexas
The other way is like Mars [handsome god of war]. Tell Alexas
To MARDIAN
Bring me word how tall she is. Pity me, Charmian,
Bring me answers about how tall she is. Pity me, Charmian,
But do not speak to me. Lead me to my chamber.
But do not speak to me. Lead me to my room.
Exeunt
Flourish. Enter POMPEY and MENAS at one door, with drum and trumpet: at another, OCTAVIUS CAESAR, MARK ANTONY, LEPIDUS, DOMITIUS ENOBARBUS, MECAENAS, with Soldiers marching
POMPEY
Your hostages I have, so have you mine;
I have your hostages, and you have mine;
And we sha
ll talk before we fight.
And we will talk before we fight.
OCTAVIUS CAESAR
Most meet
It is appropriate
That first we come to words; and therefore have we
That we first come to words; and therefore we have
Our written purposes before us sent;
Written our negotiations;
Which, if thou hast consider'd, let us know
Which if you have considered them, let us know
If 'twill tie up thy discontented sword,
If it will make you put away your unsatisfied sword,
And carry back to Sicily much tall youth
And take to Sicily many young men
That else must perish here.
That otherwise must die here.
POMPEY
To you all three,
To all three of you,
The senators alone of this great world,
The only senators of this big world,
Chief factors for the gods, I do not know
Speakers for the gods, I do not know
Wherefore my father should revengers want,
Why my father would want avengers,
Having a son and friends; since Julius Caesar,
Even after having a son and friends; since Julius Caesar,
Who at Philippi the good Brutus ghosted,
Whom Brutus killed at Philippi,
There saw you labouring for him. What was't
And saw you working for him. What was it
That moved pale Cassius to conspire; and what
That motivated pale Cassius to plot; and what
Made the all-honour'd, honest Roman, Brutus,
Made the honored, honest Roman, Brutus,
With the arm'd rest, courtiers and beauteous freedom,
With enough soldiers, courtiers, and beautiful freedom,
To drench the Capitol; but that they would
To take over the Capitol; except that they wanted
Have one man but a man? And that is it