The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 553
And the king gone to-night! subscribed his power!
Confined to exhibition! All this done
Upon the gad! Edmund, how now! what news?
Kent exiled like this! And France gone off in anger!
And the King going tonight! He's handed over his power!
Restricted himself to an allowance! And all this done
on the spur of the moment! Edmund, what's up! What's the news?
EDMUND
So please your lordship, none.
Putting up the letter
None, my good lord.
GLOUCESTER
Why so earnestly seek you to put up that letter?
Why are you trying so hard to hide that letter?
EDMUND
I know no news, my lord.
I have no news, my lord.
GLOUCESTER
What paper were you reading?
What was that letter you were reading?
EDMUND
Nothing, my lord.
Nothing, my lord.
GLOUCESTER
No? What needed, then, that terrible dispatch of
it into your pocket? the quality of nothing hath
not such need to hide itself. Let's see: come,
if it be nothing, I shall not need spectacles.
Nothing? Then why did you need to put it
in your pocket so hurriedly? If it is nothing
then you have nothing to hide. Show me: come on,
if it's nothing, I shan't need my glasses.
EDMUND
I beseech you, sir, pardon me: it is a letter
from my brother, that I have not all o'er-read;
and for so much as I have perused, I find it not
fit for your o'er-looking.
I beg you, sir, not too ask me: it is a letter
from my brother, and I have not read it fully;
as for the bit which I have read, I do not think
it's suitable for you.
GLOUCESTER
Give me the letter, sir.
Give it to me, sir.
EDMUND
I shall offend, either to detain or give it. The
contents, as in part I understand them, are to blame.
I will offend you whether I refuse or hand it over.
That's the fault of its content, as far as I understand it.
GLOUCESTER
Let's see, let's see.
Come on, show me.
EDMUND
I hope, for my brother's justification, he wrote
this but as an essay or taste of my virtue.
I hope, for my brother's sake, that he wrote
this just to make a test of my loyalty.
GLOUCESTER
[Reads] 'This policy and reverence of age makes
the world bitter to the best of our times; keeps
our fortunes from us till our oldness cannot relish
them. I begin to find an idle and fond bondage
in the oppression of aged tyranny; who sways, not
as it hath power, but as it is suffered. Come to
me, that of this I may speak more. If our father
would sleep till I waked him, you should half his
revenue for ever, and live the beloved of your
brother, EDGAR.'
Hum--conspiracy!--'Sleep till I waked him,--you
should enjoy half his revenue,'--My son Edgar!
Had he a hand to write this? a heart and brain
to breed it in?--When came this to you? who
brought it?
‘This tradition of favouring the old makes
the world a worse place for the best men of the time;
it keeps our fortune from us until we are too old
to enjoy it. I am beginning to think that the oppression of
that old tyrant is useless and stupid slavery; he only
has power because we put up with him. Come and see me
so I can say more about this. If our father
could be put to sleep, you would have half of
his income for ever, and be greatly loved by
your brother, Edgar.’
Hmm, conspiracy! ‘Put to sleep–you
will have half of his income,’–my son Edgar!
Did he write this with his own hand? Did he
think and feel this? How did you get this?
Who brought it?
EDMUND
It was not brought me, my lord; there's the
cunning of it; I found it thrown in at the
casement of my closet.
Nobody gave it to me, my lord; there's the
deviousness of it; it was thrown in through
my bedroom window.
GLOUCESTER
You know the character to be your brother's?
Do you recognise your brother's handwriting?
EDMUND
If the matter were good, my lord, I durst swear
it were his; but, in respect of that, I would
fain think it were not.
If the subject was good, my lord, I would swear
that it was; but given the subject matter
I would rather believe that it is not.
GLOUCESTER
It is his.
It is his.
EDMUND
It is his hand, my lord; but I hope his heart is
not in the contents.
It is his handwriting, my lord; but I hope
the contents do not reflect his heart.
GLOUCESTER
Hath he never heretofore sounded you in this business?
Has he never sounded you out about this sort of thing before?
EDMUND
Never, my lord: but I have heard him oft
maintain it to be fit, that, sons at perfect age,
and fathers declining, the father should be as
ward to the son, and the son manage his revenue.
Never, my lord: but I've often heard him
say that it is right, when sons are in their prime
and fathers getting old, that the father should be
obedient to the son, and the son should manage his income.
GLOUCESTER
O villain, villain! His very opinion in the
letter! Abhorred villain! Unnatural, detested,
brutish villain! worse than brutish! Go, sirrah,
seek him; I'll apprehend him: abominable villain!
Where is he?
Oh, the scoundrel! This is just what he says
in the letter! Disgusting scoundrel! Unnatural, hated,
brutal scoundrel! Worse than brutal! Go, sir,
find him; I'll question him: terrible scoundrel!
Where is he?
EDMUND
I do not well know, my lord. If it shall please
you to suspend your indignation against my
brother till you can derive from him better
testimony of his intent, you shall run a certain
course; where, if you violently proceed against
him, mistaking his purpose, it would make a great
gap in your own honour, and shake in pieces the
heart of his obedience. I dare pawn down my life
for him, that he hath wrote this to feel my
affection to your honour, and to no further
pretence of danger.
I'm not sure, my lord. It would be best
for you to hold back your anger against my
brother until you can get a better idea
of what he means; if you rush to judge
him, misunderstanding what he means, it would
be a great stain on your own honour, and it would
destroy his loyalty. I would bet my life
that he wrote this to test my loyalty to you,
and that's all there is to it.
GLOUCESTER
Think you so?
Do you think so?
EDMUND
where you shall hear us confer of this, and by an
auricular assurance have your satisfaction; and
that without any further delay than this very evening.
If your honour thinks it appropriate, I will hide you
somewhere where you can hear us talk about this,
and you shall be reassured by the proof you hear;
we'll do this this evening at the latest.
GLOUCESTER
He cannot be such a monster--
He can't be such a monster–
EDMUND
Nor is not, sure.
I'm sure he's not.
GLOUCESTER
To his father, that so tenderly and entirely
loves him. Heaven and earth! Edmund, seek him
out: wind me into him, I pray you: frame the
business after your own wisdom. I would unstate
myself, to be in a due resolution.
To his father, who gives him such tender and complete
love. Good heavens! Edmund, find him:
worm your way into his confidence for me, please: do
it in whatever ways seems best to you. I would give up
everything to get to the bottom of this.
EDMUND
I will seek him, sir, presently: convey the
business as I shall find means and acquaint you withal.
I will look for him, sir, shortly: I'll carry it out
in whatever way appears best and let you know at once.
GLOUCESTER
These late eclipses in the sun and moon portend
no good to us: though the wisdom of nature can
reason it thus and thus, yet nature finds itself
scourged by the sequent effects: love cools,
friendship falls off, brothers divide: in
cities, mutinies; in countries, discord; in
palaces, treason; and the bond cracked 'twixt son
and father. This villain of mine comes under the
prediction; there's son against father: the king
falls from bias of nature; there's father against
child. We have seen the best of our time:
machinations, hollowness, treachery, and all
ruinous disorders, follow us disquietly to our
graves. Find out this villain, Edmund; it shall
lose thee nothing; do it carefully. And the
noble and true-hearted Kent banished! his
offence, honesty! 'Tis strange.
Exit
These recent eclipses of the sun and moon
mean us no good: although science can say
it has reasons for it, nature itself
suffers the after-effects: love cools,
friendship fades, brothers fight: there are
rebellions in the cities; countries are unsettled; there is
treason in palaces; and the bond between a son and his father
is broken. My villainous son fits into this;
the son who's going against his father: the King
has fallen from his natural place; a father has
fallen out with his child. We are past the good times now:
plotting, falseness, treachery, and all other
terrible disruptions, will follow us unhappily to our
graves. Uncover this villain, Edmund; you
won't be the loser by it; do it carefully. And the
noble and loyal Kent has been exiled, for being honest!
It's strange.
EDMUND
This is the excellent foppery of the world, that,
when we are sick in fortune,--often the surfeit
of our own behavior,--we make guilty of our
disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars: as
if we were villains by necessity; fools by
heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and
treachers, by spherical predominance; drunkards,
liars, and adulterers, by an enforced obedience of
planetary influence; and all that we are evil in,
by a divine thrusting on: an admirable evasion
of whoremaster man, to lay his goatish
disposition to the charge of a star! My
father compounded with my mother under the
dragon's tail; and my nativity was under Ursa
major; so that it follows, I am rough and
lecherous. Tut, I should have been that I am,
had the maidenliest star in the firmament
twinkled on my bastardizing. Edgar--
Enter EDGAR
And pat he comes like the catastrophe of the old
comedy: my cue is villanous melancholy, with a
sigh like Tom o' Bedlam. O, these eclipses do
portend these divisions! fa, sol, la, mi.
This is the great stupidity of the world, that,
when things go against us–often due to
our own behaviour–we blame the sun,
the moon, and the stars for disasters: as if
we were forced to be villains; the heavens
made us fools; the stars forced us to be knaves,
thieves and traitors; we are only drunkards,
liars, and adulterers because of the influence
of the planets; and we blame everything we do wrong
on the influence of heaven: what a great excuse
for these sluttish men, to blame their randy nature
on the stars! My father mated with my mother under
the sign of the Dragon, and I was born under Ursa
major; so it follows that I must be rough and
lecherous. What nonsense, I would have been the person I am,
if the most chaste star in the sky had shone
on my bastard conception.
And here he comes, like the denouement of an old comedy,
I shall look deeply sad, sighing like a mad beggar.
Oh! How the eclipses signal divisions! Tra la, tra la…
EDGAR
How now, brother Edmund! what serious
contemplation are you in?
Hello there, brother Edmund! What are you
thinking about so seriously?
EDMUND
I am thinking, brother, of a prediction I read
this other day, what should follow these eclipses.
I'm thinking, brother, of a horoscope I read
the other day saying what effects these eclipses would have.
EDGAR
Do you busy yourself about that?
Are you wasting your time with that?
EDMUND
I promise you, the effects he writes of succeed
unhappily; as of unnaturalness between the child
and the parent; death, dearth, dissolutions of
ancient amities; divisions in state, menaces and
maledictions against king and nobles; needless
diffidences, banishment of friends, dissipation
of cohorts, nuptial breaches, and I know not what.
I can assure you that unfortunately the consequences
he writes of are happening; such as separations
between children and parents; death, famine, the breaking
of ancient alliances; splits in government, threats and curses
against the King and nobility; baseless
suspicions, the exile of friends, desertion of
soldiers, breaking of marriages, and heaven knows what else.
EDGAR
How long have you been a sectary astronomical?
How long have you been an astrologer?
EDMUND
Come, come; when saw you my father last?
Never mind that; when did you last see my father?
EDGAR
Why, the night gone by.
Why, last night.
EDMUND
Spake you with him?
Did you speak
with him?
EDGAR
Ay, two hours together.
Yes, for a whole two hours.
EDMUND
Parted you in good terms? Found you no
displeasure in him by word or countenance?
Did you part on good terms? Didn't you notice
anything in his words or appearance that showed displeasure?
EDGAR
None at all.
Nothing at all.
EDMUND
Bethink yourself wherein you may have offended
him: and at my entreaty forbear his presence
till some little time hath qualified the heat of
his displeasure; which at this instant so rageth
in him, that with the mischief of your person it
would scarcely allay.
Try and think how you might have offended him;
take my advice, steer clear of him until
time has cooled his anger;
at the moment he is so boiling with it
that he would hardly be able to keep his hands off you.
EDGAR
Some villain hath done me wrong.
Some villain has been speaking against me.
EDMUND
That's my fear. I pray you, have a continent
forbearance till the spied of his rage goes
slower; and, as I say, retire with me to my
lodging, from whence I will fitly bring you to
hear my lord speak: pray ye, go; there's my key:
if you do stir abroad, go armed.
That's what I'm worried about. I'm begging you
to be patient until he calms down;
and I advise you to come with me to my