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The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

Page 636

by William Shakespeare


  The one is filling still, never complete;

  The other, at high wish: best state, contentless,

  Hath a distracted and most wretched being,

  Worse than the worst, content.

  Thou shouldst desire to die, being miserable.

  If you assumed this sour cold dress to

  punish your pride, that would be good: but you

  do it from necessity; you would be a courtier again,

  if you weren't a beggar. Gladly accepted misery

  is better than uncertain wealth, the gods prefer it;

  one is always trying to get more, never satisfied,

  the other is as complete as you could wish: the man in

  the best position without happiness is completely wretched,

  much worse than someone in a terrible position who is happy.

  You should want to die, as you're miserable.

  TIMON

  Not by his breath that is more miserable.

  Thou art a slave, whom Fortune's tender arm

  With favour never clasp'd; but bred a dog.

  Hadst thou, like us from our first swath, proceeded

  The sweet degrees that this brief world affords

  To such as may the passive drugs of it

  Freely command, thou wouldst have plunged thyself

  In general riot; melted down thy youth

  In different beds of lust; and never learn'd

  The icy precepts of respect, but follow'd

  The sugar'd game before thee. But myself,

  Who had the world as my confectionary,

  The mouths, the tongues, the eyes and hearts of men

  At duty, more than I could frame employment,

  That numberless upon me stuck as leaves

  Do on the oak, hive with one winter's brush

  Fell from their boughs and left me open, bare

  For every storm that blows: I, to bear this,

  That never knew but better, is some burden:

  Thy nature did commence in sufferance, time

  Hath made thee hard in't. Why shouldst thou hate men?

  They never flatter'd thee: what hast thou given?

  If thou wilt curse, thy father, that poor rag,

  Must be thy subject, who in spite put stuff

  To some she beggar and compounded thee

  Poor rogue hereditary. Hence, be gone!

  If thou hadst not been born the worst of men,

  Thou hadst been a knave and flatterer.

  Not on the advice of someone who is more miserable.

  You are a slave, whom fortune has never

  embraced; she made you a dog.

  Had you been from birth, like me, given

  all the sweet things that this short life allows

  to those who have access to its

  sweet things, you would have thrown yourself

  in with gusto; you would have wasted your youth

  in various lustful beds; you would never have learned

  to see everything in proportion, but enjoyed

  all the sweetness offered to you. But I,

  for whom the whole world was a sweet shop,

  had the mouths, tongues, eyes and hearts of men

  at my service, more than I could find work for,

  an infinite number covering me like leaves

  on an oak tree; at the first touch of winter

  they fell from their branches and left me exposed

  to every storm that blows: for me to bear this,

  having only known better days, is a great burden:

  your life began with suffering, time

  has hardened you to it. Why should you hate men?

  They never flattered you: what have you given?

  If you want to apportion blame your poor rag of a father

  must be your subject, who out of spite impregnated

  some female beggar and made you,

  a poor rogue by birth. Get out of here!

  If you hadn't been born in the lowest situation

  you would have been a knave and a flatterer.

  APEMANTUS

  Art thou proud yet?

  Are you still proud?

  TIMON

  Ay, that I am not thee.

  Yes, that I am not you.

  APEMANTUS

  I, that I was

  No prodigal.

  I’m proud that I didn't

  throw money around.

  TIMON

  I, that I am one now:

  Were all the wealth I have shut up in thee,

  I'ld give thee leave to hang it. Get thee gone.

  That the whole life of Athens were in this!

  Thus would I eat it.

  I’m proud I did:

  if all the wealth I have was in your body,

  I'd give you permission to hang yourself. Go away.

  I wish all the lives in Athens were in this root!

  I would eat it like this.

  Eating a root

  APEMANTUS

  Here; I will mend thy feast.

  Here; I will improve your feast.

  Offering him a root

  TIMON

  First mend my company, take away thyself.

  First improve my company, by going away.

  APEMANTUS

  So I shall mend mine own, by the lack of thine.

  That way I would improve my own, by not having yours.

  TIMON

  'Tis not well mended so, it is but botch'd;

  if not, I would it were.

  That wouldn't mend it, just botch it up;

  whatever the case, I wish you would do it.

  APEMANTUS

  What wouldst thou have to Athens?

  What would you like to give to Athens?

  TIMON

  Thee thither in a whirlwind. If thou wilt,

  Tell them there I have gold; look, so I have.

  You, in the middle of a whirlwind. If you want,

  tell the people there that I have gold; look, I have.

  APEMANTUS

  Here is no use for gold.

  Gold is useless here.

  TIMON

  The best and truest;

  For here it sleeps, and does no hired harm.

  It has its best and truest use here;

  it sleeps here, and can't buy any evil.

  APEMANTUS

  Where liest o' nights, Timon?

  Where do you sleep at night, Timon?

  TIMON

  Under that's above me.

  Where feed'st thou o' days, Apemantus?

  Out in the open air.

  Where do you eat in the day, Apemantus?

  APEMANTUS

  Where my stomach finds meat; or, rather, where I eat

  it.

  Wherever my stomach finds food; or, rather, where I eat

  it.

  TIMON

  Would poison were obedient and knew my mind!

  I wish I had control of poison!

  APEMANTUS

  Where wouldst thou send it?

  Where would you send it?

  TIMON

  To sauce thy dishes.

  To spice up your food.

  APEMANTUS

  The middle of humanity thou never knewest, but the

  extremity of both ends: when thou wast in thy gilt

  and thy perfume, they mocked thee for too much

  curiosity; in thy rags thou knowest none, but art

  despised for the contrary. There's a medlar for

  thee, eat it.

  You never knew the middle road of humanity, just the

  highest and lowest: when you had all your fine clothes

  and your perfume, you were mocked for being too

  delicate; in your rags you have no delicacy, and are

  despised for it. There's a medlar for you,

  eat it.

  TIMON

  On what I hate I feed not.

  I don't eat what I hate.

  APEM
ANTUS

  Dost hate a medlar?

  You hate a medlar?

  TIMON

  Ay, though it look like thee.

  Yes, though it looks like you.

  APEMANTUS

  An thou hadst hated meddlers sooner, thou shouldst

  have loved thyself better now. What man didst thou

  ever know unthrift that was beloved after his means?

  If you had hated meddlers earlier, you would

  love yourself better now. Did you ever know a

  profligate man who was loved once his money was gone?

  TIMON

  Who, without those means thou talkest of, didst thou

  ever know beloved?

  Did you ever know anyone who was loved who didn't

  have the money that you talk about?

  APEMANTUS

  Myself.

  Me.

  TIMON

  I understand thee; thou hadst some means to keep a

  dog.

  I understand you; you had just enough money to keep a

  dog.

  APEMANTUS

  What things in the world canst thou nearest compare

  to thy flatterers?

  What is there in the world that you can most closely

  compare to your flatterers?

  TIMON

  Women nearest; but men, men are the things

  themselves. What wouldst thou do with the world,

  Apemantus, if it lay in thy power?

  Women are closest; but men, men are all complete

  flatterers. What would you do with the world,

  Apemantus, if you had the power?

  APEMANTUS

  Give it the beasts, to be rid of the men.

  I'd give it to the animals, to get rid of men.

  TIMON

  Wouldst thou have thyself fall in the confusion of

  men, and remain a beast with the beasts?

  Would you like to be part of the fall of man,

  and remain an animal with the other animals?

  APEMANTUS

  Ay, Timon.

  Yes, Timon.

  TIMON

  A beastly ambition, which the gods grant thee t'

  attain to! If thou wert the lion, the fox would

  beguile thee; if thou wert the lamb, the fox would

  eat thee: if thou wert the fox, the lion would

  suspect thee, when peradventure thou wert accused by

  the ass: if thou wert the ass, thy dulness would

  torment thee, and still thou livedst but as a

  breakfast to the wolf: if thou wert the wolf, thy

  greediness would afflict thee, and oft thou shouldst

  hazard thy life for thy dinner: wert thou the

  unicorn, pride and wrath would confound thee and

  make thine own self the conquest of thy fury: wert

  thou a bear, thou wouldst be killed by the horse:

  wert thou a horse, thou wouldst be seized by the

  leopard: wert thou a leopard, thou wert german to

  the lion and the spots of thy kindred were jurors on

  thy life: all thy safety were remotion and thy

  defence absence. What beast couldst thou be, that

  were not subject to a beast? and what a beast art

  thou already, that seest not thy loss in

  transformation!

  A horrible desire, may the gods grant it to you!

  If you were a lion, you would be tricked

  by a fox; if you were a lamb, the fox would

  eat you; if you were a fox, the lion would

  suspect you, if you happen to be accused by

  the ass; if you were an ass, your stupidity would

  torment you, and all you would be living for would be to

  make a breakfast for the wolf; if you were a wolf, your

  greediness would torture you, and you would often

  risk your life for your dinner; if you were a

  unicorn, pride and anger would confuse you and

  you would cause your own downfall in your anger; if you were

  a bear, you would be killed by a horse;

  if you were a horse, you would be taken by a

  leopard; if you were a leopard, you would be related to

  the lion and you would be punished for his transgressions;

  the only way you could be safe would be to run away,

  being absent would be your defence. What animal could you be,

  that didn't suffer at the hands of another animal? And what

  an animal you are already, if you can't see that you would be

  worse off as an animal!

  APEMANTUS

  If thou couldst please me with speaking to me, thou

  mightst have hit upon it here: the commonwealth of

  Athens is become a forest of beasts.

  If anything you said could please me, you

  might have just said it: the state of

  Athens has become a forest of animals.

  TIMON

  How has the ass broke the wall, that thou art out of the city?

  How did the ass break through the wall, to let you out of the city?

  APEMANTUS

  Yonder comes a poet and a painter: the plague of

  company light upon thee! I will fear to catch it

  and give way: when I know not what else to do, I'll

  see thee again.

  Here comes a poet and painter: may the plague of

  society land on you! I don't want to catch it

  so I'll go: when I can't think of anything else to do, I'll

  come back and see you.

  TIMON

  When there is nothing living but thee, thou shalt be

  welcome. I had rather be a beggar's dog than Apemantus.

  When you are the last living creature, you will be

  welcome. I would rather be a beggar's dog than Apemantus.

  APEMANTUS

  Thou art the cap of all the fools alive.

  You are the King of fools.

  TIMON

  Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!

  I wish you were clean enough to spit on!

  APEMANTUS

  A plague on thee! thou art too bad to curse.

  A plague on you! You are too wicked for simple curses.

  TIMON

  All villains that do stand by thee are pure.

  Any villain standing next to you would look pure in comparison.

  APEMANTUS

  There is no leprosy but what thou speak'st.

  There is no leprosy to compare with what you say.

  TIMON

  If I name thee.

  I'll beat thee, but I should infect my hands.

  If I say your name.

  I would beat you, but I don't want to catch anything.

  APEMANTUS

  I would my tongue could rot them off!

  I wish my tongue could rot your hands off!

  TIMON

  Away, thou issue of a mangy dog!

  Choler does kill me that thou art alive;

  I swound to see thee.

  Get lost, you son of a bitch!

  It tortures me to see that you are alive;

  it makes me faint to see you.

  APEMANTUS

  Would thou wouldst burst!

  I wish you would burst!

  TIMON

  Away,

  Thou tedious rogue! I am sorry I shall lose

  A stone by thee.

  Get lost,

  you tedious scoundrel! I am sorry to have to waste

  a stone on you.

  Throws a stone at him

  APEMANTUS

  Beast!

  Animal!

  TIMON

  Slave!

  Slave!

  APEMANTUS

  Toad!

  Toad!

  TIMON

  Rogue, rogue, rogue!

  I am sick of this false world, and wil
l love nought

  But even the mere necessities upon 't.

  Then, Timon, presently prepare thy grave;

  Lie where the light foam the sea may beat

  Thy grave-stone daily: make thine epitaph,

  That death in me at others' lives may laugh.

  To the gold

  O thou sweet king-killer, and dear divorce

  'Twixt natural son and sire! thou bright defiler

  Of Hymen's purest bed! thou valiant Mars!

  Thou ever young, fresh, loved and delicate wooer,

  Whose blush doth thaw the consecrated snow

  That lies on Dian's lap! thou visible god,

  That solder'st close impossibilities,

  And makest them kiss! that speak'st with

  every tongue,

  To every purpose! O thou touch of hearts!

  Think, thy slave man rebels, and by thy virtue

  Set them into confounding odds, that beasts

  May have the world in empire!

  Rogue, rogue, rogue!

  I am sick of this false world, and will love nothing

  except the necessities of life.

  So, Timon, go and dig your own grave at once;

  put it where the light foam of the sea can wash

  against your gravestone daily: make your epitaph

  that through me death is laughing at the lives of others.

  [To the gold]

  Oh you sweet killer of kings, that causes division

  between fathers and their natural sons! You bright polluter

 

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