The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  'Tis not the difference of a year or two

  Makes me less gracious or thee more fortunate:

  I am as able and as fit as thou

  To serve and to deserve my mistress' grace;

  And that my sword upon thee shall approve,

  And plead my passions for Lavinia's love.

  Demetrius, you are always so arrogant;

  this is no exception, trying to shout me down.

  There's only a difference of a year or two

  which doesn't make me less gracious or you more blessed:

  I'm just as able and as suitable as you

  to serve my mistress and deserve her kindness;

  and I shall prove that to you with my sword,

  and show how much I want Lavinia's love.

  AARON.

  [Aside] Clubs, clubs! These lovers will not keep the

  peace.

  Call the watchmen! These lovers will not keep the peace.

  DEMETRIUS.

  Why, boy, although our mother, unadvis'd,

  Gave you a dancing rapier by your side,

  Are you so desperate grown to threat your friends?

  Go to; have your lath glued within your sheath

  Till you know better how to handle it.

  Why, boy, although our mother, unwisely,

  gave you an ornamental sword to wear,

  have you become so keen to threaten your friends?

  Give over; have your toy sword glued inside its sheath

  until you have a better idea of how to handle it.

  CHIRON.

  Meanwhile, sir, with the little skill I have,

  Full well shalt thou perceive how much I dare.

  In the meantime, sir, with what little skill I have,

  you will see how eager I am to use it.

  DEMETRIUS.

  Ay, boy, grow ye so brave? [They draw]

  Oh yes, boy, you're that brave are you?

  AARON.

  [Coming forward] Why, how now, lords!

  So near the Emperor's palace dare ye draw

  And maintain such a quarrel openly?

  Full well I wot the ground of all this grudge:

  I would not for a million of gold

  The cause were known to them it most concerns;

  Nor would your noble mother for much more

  Be so dishonoured in the court of Rome.

  For shame, put up.

  Why, what's all this, lords!

  Do you dare to draw weapons so close to the Emperor's palace

  and fight each other so openly?

  I'm well aware of why you're fighting:

  I wouldn't take a million pounds

  to let the ones who are most closely involved know about it;

  and your noble mother would turn down even more

  rather than be so dishonoured in the court of Rome.

  For shame, put away your weapons.

  DEMETRIUS.

  Not I, till I have sheath'd

  My rapier in his bosom, and withal

  Thrust those reproachful speeches down his throat

  That he hath breath'd in my dishonour here.

  I won't, until I have put away

  my rapier in his heart, and what's more

  shoved the reproaches with which he has

  dishonoured me back down his throat.

  CHIRON.

  For that I am prepar'd and full resolv'd,

  Foul-spoken coward, that thund'rest with thy tongue,

  And with thy weapon nothing dar'st perform.

  I'm ready for that and well up to it,

  you dirty mouthed coward, you roar with your tongue,

  and don't dare do anything with your weapon.

  AARON.

  Away, I say!

  Now, by the gods that warlike Goths adore,

  This petty brabble will undo us all.

  Why, lords, and think you not how dangerous

  It is to jet upon a prince's right?

  What, is Lavinia then become so loose,

  Or Bassianus so degenerate,

  That for her love such quarrels may be broach'd

  Without controlment, justice, or revenge?

  Young lords, beware; an should the Empress know

  This discord's ground, the music would not please.

  That's enough, I say!

  Now, by the gods of the warlike Goths,

  this petty quarrel will get us all in trouble.

  Why, lords, haven't you thought about how dangerous

  it is to encroach on the rights of princes?

  What, has Lavinia become such a tart,

  or Bassianus become so degenerate,

  that you can start a fight for her love

  without restraint, justice, or punishment?

  Beware, young lords–and if the Empress found out

  what started this argument, things would not go well.

  CHIRON.

  I care not, I, knew she and all the world:

  I love Lavinia more than all the world.

  I don't care, I wouldn't care if she and all the world knew:

  I love Lavinia more than all the world.

  DEMETRIUS.

  Youngling, learn thou to make some meaner choice:

  Lavina is thine elder brother's hope.

  Youngster, learn to aim lower:

  Lavinia is your older brother's target.

  AARON.

  Why, are ye mad, or know ye not in Rome

  How furious and impatient they be,

  And cannot brook competitors in love?

  I tell you, lords, you do but plot your deaths

  By this device.

  What, are you mad, or don't you know how

  angry and intolerant they are in Rome,

  and won't tolerate rivals in love?

  I tell you, my lords, this business

  can only end in your deaths.

  CHIRON.

  Aaron, a thousand deaths

  Would I propose to achieve her whom I love.

  Aaron, I would die a thousand deaths

  to get the one I love.

  AARON.

  To achieve her- how?

  Get her how?

  DEMETRIUS.

  Why mak'st thou it so strange?

  She is a woman, therefore may be woo'd;

  She is a woman, therefore may be won;

  She is Lavinia, therefore must be lov'd.

  What, man! more water glideth by the mill

  Than wots the miller of; and easy it is

  Of a cut loaf to steal a shive, we know.

  Though Bassianus be the Emperor's brother,

  Better than he have worn Vulcan's badge.

  Why are you making such an issue of it?

  She's a woman, so she can be wooed;

  she's a woman, so she can be won;

  she is Lavinia, so she must be loved.

  What, man!There's more water goes past the mill

  than the miller knows about, and it's easy

  to steal a slice of a sliced loaf, that's obvious.

  Although Bassanius is the brother of the Emperor,

  better men than him have been cheated.

  AARON.

  [Aside] Ay, and as good as Saturninus may.

  Yes, and men as high as Saturnius could be.

  DEMETRIUS.

  Then why should he despair that knows to court it

  With words, fair looks, and liberality?

  What, hast not thou full often struck a doe,

  And borne her cleanly by the keeper's nose?

  Then why should a man give up hope when he knows how to woo

  with words, good looks and generosity?

  Haven't you ever shot a deer

  and smuggled it out under the gamekeeper's nose?

  AARON.

  Why, then, it seems some certain snatch or so

  Would serve your turns.

  Why then, it seems that a quick bit of poaching

  wou
ld suit you.

  CHIRON.

  Ay, so the turn were served.

  Yes, if that would do the job.

  DEMETRIUS.

  Aaron, thou hast hit it.

  Aaron, you've hit the nail on the head.

  AARON.

  Would you had hit it too!

  Then should not we be tir'd with this ado.

  Why, hark ye, hark ye! and are you such fools

  To square for this? Would it offend you, then,

  That both should speed?

  I wish you had too!

  Then we wouldn't be bothered with all this fuss.

  Now, listen here!Are you such idiots

  that you fight over this?Would you mind

  if both of you got what you wanted?

  CHIRON.

  Faith, not me.

  I swear I wouldn't.

  DEMETRIUS.

  Nor me, so I were one.

  Nor me, if it meant I got my share.

  AARON.

  For shame, be friends, and join for that you jar.

  'Tis policy and stratagem must do

  That you affect; and so must you resolve

  That what you cannot as you would achieve,

  You must perforce accomplish as you may.

  Take this of me: Lucrece was not more chaste

  Than this Lavinia, Bassianus' love.

  A speedier course than ling'ring languishment

  Must we pursue, and I have found the path.

  My lords, a solemn hunting is in hand;

  There will the lovely Roman ladies troop;

  The forest walks are wide and spacious,

  And many unfrequented plots there are

  Fitted by kind for rape and villainy.

  Single you thither then this dainty doe,

  And strike her home by force if not by words.

  This way, or not at all, stand you in hope.

  Come, come, our Empress, with her sacred wit

  To villainy and vengeance consecrate,

  Will we acquaint with all what we intend;

  And she shall file our engines with advice

  That will not suffer you to square yourselves,

  But to your wishes' height advance you both.

  The Emperor's court is like the house of Fame,

  The palace full of tongues, of eyes, and ears;

  The woods are ruthless, dreadful, deaf, and dull.

  There speak and strike, brave boys, and take your turns;

  There serve your lust, shadowed from heaven's eye,

  And revel in Lavinia's treasury.

  Then for heaven's sake be friends, and join forces to get the thing you're arguing over.

  Planning and cunning must be used to get

  what you want, and so you should resolve

  that if you can't get what you want the way you want

  you must get it any way you can.

  Believe you me, Lucerece wasn't more chaste

  than this Lavinia, the love of Bassanius.

  We must follow a swifter plan than this

  romantic meandering, and I know the way.

  My lords, there is a ceremonial hunting trip under way,

  and the lovely Roman ladies will follow the hunt.

  The paths in the forest are long and wide,

  and there are many isolated spots

  well suited to rape and villainy.

  So isolate this dainty doe,

  and get what you want with force, if words won't work;

  this way is the only one for you.

  Now look, our Empress, whose divine mind

  is devoted to crime and revenge,

  we will tell what we mean to do,

  and she will refine our plans

  so that you two won't have to quarrel

  but get you both your hearts' desires.

  The Emperor's court is like the house of Fame,

  the palace is full of tongues, of eyes and ears;

  the woods are pitiless, dreadful, deaf and dumb:

  that's where you should speak and strike, brave lads, and take your turns;

  let your lust run free there, out of sight of heaven,

  and get your fill of Lavinia.

  CHIRON.

  Thy counsel, lad, smells of no cowardice.

  This is a brave plan, lad.

  DEMETRIUS.

  Sit fas aut nefas, till I find the stream

  To cool this heat, a charm to calm these fits,

  Per Styga, per manes vehor.

  Exeunt

  Whether it's right or wrong, until I can find the stream

  which can cool this heat, some magic to calm my turmoil,

  I am living in hell.

  Enter TITUS ANDRONICUS, and his three sons, LUCIUS, QUINTUS, MARTIUS, making a noise with hounds and horns; and MARCUS

  TITUS.

  The hunt is up, the morn is bright and grey,

  The fields are fragrant, and the woods are green.

  Uncouple here, and let us make a bay,

  And wake the Emperor and his lovely bride,

  And rouse the Prince, and ring a hunter's peal,

  That all the court may echo with the noise.

  Sons, let it be your charge, as it is ours,

  To attend the Emperor's person carefully.

  I have been troubled in my sleep this night,

  But dawning day new comfort hath inspir'd.

  Here a cry of hounds, and wind horns in a peal.

  Then enter SATURNINUS, TAMORA, BASSIANUS LAVINIA,

  CHIRON, DEMETRIUS, and their attendants

  Many good morrows to your Majesty!

  Madam, to you as many and as good!

  I promised your Grace a hunter's peal.

  The hunt has begun, the morning is bright and grey,

  the fields are sweet smelling and the woods are green.

  Unleash the hounds and let's have a barking

  to wake the Emperor and his lovely bride,

  and wake the Prince, and blow a hunting horn,

  so that the whole court echoes with the noise.

  Sons, make it your duty, as I will,

  to guard the Emperor carefully.

  I had uneasy dreams last night,

  but the new morning has lifted my spirits.

  Many good mornings to your majesty;

  and the same to you madam, just as good.

  I promised your grace a hunting cry.

  SATURNINUS.

  And you have rung it lustily, my lords-

  Somewhat too early for new-married ladies.

  And you have given if lustily, my lords -

  a little too early for newly married ladies.

  BASSIANUS.

  Lavinia, how say you?

  Lavinia, what do you say to that?

  LAVINIA.

  I say no;

  I have been broad awake two hours and more.

  I disagree;

  I've been wide awake for over two hours.

  SATURNINUS.

  Come on then, horse and chariots let us have,

  And to our sport. [To TAMORA] Madam, now shall ye see

  Our Roman hunting.

  Come on then, let's get the horses and chariots,

  and get hunting.Madam, you shall now see

  how we Romans hunt.

  MARCUS.

  I have dogs, my lord,

  Will rouse the proudest panther in the chase,

  And climb the highest promontory top.

  I have dogs, my lord, that will flush out the biggest panther,

  and climb the highest mountain.

  TITUS.

  And I have horse will follow where the game

  Makes way, and run like swallows o'er the plain.

  And I have horses that will follow wherever the quarry

  bolts, and can run over the fields like swallows.

  DEMETRIUS.

  Chiron, we hunt not, we, with horse nor hound,

  But hope to pluck a dainty doe to g
round.

  Exeunt

  Chiron, we won't hunt with horses or hounds,

  but hope we can bring down a dainty doe.

  Enter AARON alone, with a bag of gold

  AARON.

  He that had wit would think that I had none,

  To bury so much gold under a tree

  And never after to inherit it.

  Let him that thinks of me so abjectly

  Know that this gold must coin a stratagem,

  Which, cunningly effected, will beget

  A very excellent piece of villainy.

  And so repose, sweet gold, for their unrest

  [Hides the gold]

  That have their alms out of the Empress' chest.

  Enter TAMORA alone, to the Moor

  An intelligent man would think I was stupid,

  burying so much gold under a tree

  instead of enjoying the use of it.

  Let the one who thinks so poorly of me

  know that this gold is part of a plan

  which, executed with cunning, will cause

  an excellent bit of mischief.

  And so lie there, sweet gold, to cause trouble

  [Hides the gold]

  to those who get their handouts from the Empress.

  TAMORA.

  My lovely Aaron, wherefore look'st thou sad

  When everything does make a gleeful boast?

  The birds chant melody on every bush;

  The snakes lie rolled in the cheerful sun;

  The green leaves quiver with the cooling wind

  And make a chequer'd shadow on the ground;

  Under their sweet shade, Aaron, let us sit,

  And while the babbling echo mocks the hounds,

  Replying shrilly to the well-tun'd horns,

  As if a double hunt were heard at once,

  Let us sit down and mark their yellowing noise;

  And- after conflict such as was suppos'd