The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 673
And by the way possess thee what she is.
Entreat her fair; and, by my soul, fair Greek,
If e'er thou stand at mercy of my sword,
Name Cressid, and thy life shall be as safe
As Priam is in Ilion.
Who, me? Alas, it is a vice, a fault of mine.
While others cunningly try to gain a great reputation,
I get a reputation for being plain and simple through truthfulness;
while some craftily cover their copper crowns with gold,
I wear mine ungilded in truth and plainness.
Don't worry about my fidelity. My character can be summed up
as ‘plain and true’; that's all there is to it–
Welcome, Sir Diomedes. Here is the lady
which we are exchanging with you for Antenor.
At the city gate, lord, I will hand her over to you,
and on the way I'll tell you about who she is.
Treat her well and I swear, fair Greek,
that if I ever have you at swordpoint.
just mention Cressida, and you'll be as safe
as Priam is in Ilium.
DIOMEDES.
Fair Lady Cressid,
So please you, save the thanks this prince expects.
The lustre in your eye, heaven in your cheek,
Pleads your fair usage; and to Diomed
You shall be mistress, and command him wholly.
Fair Lady Cressida,
if you please, you don't have to thank this prince.
Your shining eyes, your white cheek,
tell me to treat you well; you shall be
my mistress, I'm completely at your command.
TROILUS.
Grecian, thou dost not use me courteously
To shame the zeal of my petition to thee
In praising her. I tell thee, lord of Greece,
She is as far high-soaring o'er thy praises
As thou unworthy to be call'd her servant.
I charge thee use her well, even for my charge;
For, by the dreadful Pluto, if thou dost not,
Though the great bulk Achilles be thy guard,
I'll cut thy throat.
Greek, you're not being polite
by putting down the sincerity of my request
by praising her. I tell you, Lord of Greece,
she is as high above your praises
as you are unworthy to be called her servant.
I order you to treat her well, just because I tell you to;
for, I swear by dreadful Pluto, if you don't,
if the great body of Achilles was guarding you,
I'll cut your throat.
DIOMEDES.
O, be not mov'd, Prince Troilus.
Let me be privileg'd by my place and message
To be a speaker free: when I am hence
I'll answer to my lust. And know you, lord,
I'll nothing do on charge: to her own worth
She shall be priz'd. But that you say 'Be't so,'
I speak it in my spirit and honour, 'No.'
Oh, don't be upset, Prince Troilus.
Allow me to use the privilege of my position
to speak freely. When I have gone
I'll do what I wish. And you should know, Lord,
I don't accept orders: she shall be treated well
because of her own worth; but absolutely not
because you've told me to.
TROILUS.
Come, to the port. I'll tell thee, Diomed,
This brave shall oft make thee to hide thy head.
Lady, give me your hand; and, as we walk,
To our own selves bend we our needful talk.
Come, to the gate. I tell you, Diomedes,
this boasting will backfire on you one day.
Lady, give me your hand; and, as we walk,
let's just talk to each other.
Exeunt TROILUS, CRESSIDA, and DIOMEDES
[Sound trumpet]
PARIS.
Hark! Hector's trumpet.
Hear that! Hector's trumpet.
AENEAS.
How have we spent this morning!
The Prince must think me tardy and remiss,
That swore to ride before him to the field.
How has all this time gone by!
The prince must think I am late and negligent,
I promised I would ride ahead of him on the battlefield.
PARIS.
'Tis Troilus' fault. Come, come to field with him.
It's Troilus' fault. Come, come to the battlefield with him.
DEIPHOBUS.
Let us make ready straight.
Let's get ready at once.
AENEAS.
Yea, with a bridegroom's fresh alacrity
Let us address to tend on Hector's heels.
The glory of our Troy doth this day lie
On his fair worth and single chivalry.
Yes, with the keenness of a bridegroom,
let's set ourselves to walk in Hector's footsteps.
The glory of Troy today rests
on his great honour and single combat.
Exeunt
Enter AJAX, armed; AGAMEMNON, ACHILLES, PATROCLUS, MENELAUS,
ULYSSES, NESTOR, and others
AGAMEMNON.
Here art thou in appointment fresh and fair,
Anticipating time with starting courage.
Give with thy trumpet a loud note to Troy,
Thou dreadful Ajax, that the appalled air
May pierce the head of the great combatant,
And hale him hither.
Here you are in your spick and span equipment,
ready to go with eager courage.
Blow a loud note on your trumpet for Troy,
awe-inspiring Ajax, so that the terrifying sound
can drive into the head of the great fighter,
and call him here.
AJAX.
Thou, trumpet, there's my purse.
Now crack thy lungs and split thy brazen pipe;
Blow, villain, till thy sphered bias cheek
Out-swell the colic of puff Aquilon'd.
Come, stretch thy chest, and let thy eyes spout blood:
Thou blowest for Hector. [Trumpet sounds]
You, trumpeter, here's your fee.
Now crack your lungs and burst your brass trumpet open;
blow, scoundrel, until your blown out cheeks
excel those of the North wind.
Come, fill up your lungs, and let your eyes spout blood:
you're blowing for Hector.
ULYSSES.
No trumpet answers.
There's no answering trumpet.
ACHILLES.
'Tis but early days.
It's early days.
Enter DIOMEDES, with CRESSIDA
AGAMEMNON.
Is not yond Diomed, with Calchas' daughter?
Isn't that Diomedes over there, with Calchas' daughter?
ULYSSES.
'Tis he, I ken the manner of his gait:
He rises on the toe. That spirit of his
In aspiration lifts him from the earth.
It's him, I know the way he walks:
he walks on the balls of his feet. His great spirit
lifts him above the earth.
AGAMEMNON.
Is this the lady Cressid?
Is that the lady Cressida?
DIOMEDES.
Even she.
That's the one.
AGAMEMNON.
Most dearly welcome to the Greeks, sweet lady.
The Greeks give you a warm welcome, sweet lady.
NESTOR.
Our general doth salute you with a kiss.
Our general greets you with a kiss.
ULYSSES.
Yet is the kindness but particular;
'Twere better she were kiss'd in general.
But that's just an individual kindness;
it would be better if she were generally kissed.
NESTOR.
And very courtly counsel: I'll begin.
So much for Nestor.
Very gallant advice: I'll go first.
Nestor is done.
ACHILLES.
I'll take that winter from your lips, fair lady.
Achilles bids you welcome.
I'll take the chill of the old man off your lips, fair Lady.
Achilles welcomes you.
MENELAUS.
I had good argument for kissing once.
I once had a good subject for kissing.
PATROCLUS.
But that's no argument for kissing now;
For thus popp'd Paris in his hardiment,
And parted thus you and your argument.
But that's no reason for you to kiss now;
for up popped hard bold Paris,
and split you from your subject.
ULYSSES.
O deadly gall, and theme of all our scorns!
For which we lose our heads to gild his horns.
What a terrible business, which makes a mockery of us!
We're being killed to put a better gloss on the fact that he's been cheated on.
PATROCLUS.
The first was Menelaus' kiss; this, mine-
[Kisses her again]
Patroclus kisses you.
That first kiss belonged to Menelaus; this one's for me–
[kisses her again]
Patroclus kisses you.
MENELAUS.
O, this is trim!
Oh, this is a fine thing!
PATROCLUS.
Paris and I kiss evermore for him.
Paris and I do his kissing for him now.
MENELAUS.
I'll have my kiss, sir. Lady, by your leave.
I shall have my kiss, sir. Lady, with your permission.
CRESSIDA.
In kissing, do you render or receive?
In kissing, are you giving or receiving?
PATROCLUS.
Both take and give.
Both taking and giving.
CRESSIDA.
I'll make my match to live,
The kiss you take is better than you give;
Therefore no kiss.
I'll bet my life,
the kiss you take is better than the one you give;
so no kiss for you.
MENELAUS.
I'll give you boot; I'll give you three for one.
I'll give you odds; I'll give you three for one.
CRESSIDA.
You are an odd man; give even or give none.
You are an odd man; match what you get or don't give at all.
MENELAUS.
An odd man, lady? Every man is odd.
An odd man, lady? Every man is odd.
CRESSIDA.
No, Paris is not; for you know 'tis true
That you are odd, and he is even with you.
No, Paris is not; you know it's true
that you are odd, and he is quits with you.
MENELAUS.
You fillip me o' th' head.
You're touching a sensitive spot.
CRESSIDA.
No, I'll be sworn.
No, I swear not.
ULYSSES.
It were no match, your nail against his horn.
May I, sweet lady, beg a kiss of you?
It wasn't a fair fight, your nail against his horn.
May I, sweet lady, ask you for a kiss?
CRESSIDA.
You may.
You may.
ULYSSES.
I do desire it.
I desire it.
CRESSIDA.
Why, beg then.
Well then, beg.
ULYSSES.
Why then, for Venus' sake give me a kiss
When Helen is a maid again, and his.
Well then, for the sake of love, give me a kiss
when Helen is in her proper place as his wife–
CRESSIDA.
I am your debtor; claim it when 'tis due.
I owe it to you; claim it when it's due.
ULYSSES.
Never's my day, and then a kiss of you.
It seems I'll never get that kiss then.
DIOMEDES.
Lady, a word. I'll bring you to your father.
Lady, a word. I'll take you to your father.
Exit with CRESSIDA
NESTOR.
A woman of quick sense.
A quickwitted woman.
ULYSSES.
Fie, fie upon her!
There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip,
Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out
At every joint and motive of her body.
O these encounters so glib of tongue
That give a coasting welcome ere it comes,
And wide unclasp the tables of their thoughts
To every ticklish reader! Set them down
For sluttish spoils of opportunity,
And daughters of the game. [Trumpet within]
Damnation to her!
You can read things in her eye, her cheeks, her lips,
even her foot speaks; her lusty spirit is shown
in every joint and movement of her body.
Oh, these forward women, so clever with their tongue,
that make advances to men before they've even offered,
and open up themselves like books
to every curious reader! Put them down
as sluttish women who can be had any time,
no better than prostitutes.
ALL.
The Troyans' trumpet.
The Trojans' trumpet.
Enter HECTOR, armed; AENEAS, TROILUS, PARIS, HELENUS,
and other Trojans, with attendants
AGAMEMNON.
Yonder comes the troop.
Here comes the troop.
AENEAS.
Hail, all the state of Greece! What shall be done
To him that victory commands? Or do you purpose
A victor shall be known? Will you the knights
Shall to the edge of all extremity
Pursue each other, or shall they be divided
By any voice or order of the field?
Hector bade ask.
Greetings, rulers of Greece! What shall be given
to the winner? Do you intend
that a winner should be chosen? Do you wish for the knights
to fight each other to the death,
or should they be separated
by some umpire or by the laws of chivalry?
Hector told me to ask this.
AGAMEMNON.
Which way would Hector have it?
Which way does Hector want it?
AENEAS.
He cares not; he'll obey conditions.
He doesn't care; he'll follow whatever's agreed on.
ACHILLES.
'Tis done like Hector; but securely done,
A little proudly, and great deal misprizing
The knight oppos'd.
This is done like Hector; over confidently,
rather arrogantly, and very much disparaging
his opponent.
AENEAS.
If not Achilles, sir,
What is your name?
If you are not Achilles, Sir,
what is your name?
ACHILLES.
If not Achilles, nothing.
If I'm not Achilles, then I don't have a name.
AENEAS.
Therefore Achilles. But whate'er, know this:
In the extremity of great and little
Valour and pride excel themselves in Hector;
The one almost as infinite as all,
The other blank as nothing. Weigh him well,
And that which looks like pride is courtesy.
This Ajax is half made of Hector's blood;
In love whereof
half Hector stays at home;
Half heart, half hand, half Hector comes to seek
This blended knight, half Troyan and half Greek.
So you are Achilles. But whatever you are, know this:
in Hector bravery and arrogance are shown at
absolutely opposite extremes;
bravery that is almost infinite,
and not a drop of pride. If you look closely
what looks like pride is courtesy.
This Ajax shares half of Hector's ancestry;
out of respect for that half of Hector stays at home;
half a heart, half a hand, half of Hector comes to find
thisblended knight, half Trojan and half Greek.
ACHILLES.
A maiden battle then? O, I perceive you!
Oh, I see! This is to be a battle without bloodshed?
Re-enter DIOMEDES
AGAMEMNON.
Here is Sir Diomed. Go, gentle knight,
Stand by our Ajax. As you and Lord Aeneas
Consent upon the order of their fight,
So be it; either to the uttermost,
Or else a breath. The combatants being kin
Half stints their strife before their strokes begin.