Now and Forever

by April King

  “Hey, now,” he said soberly.

  Ignoring him, Grace drew his hot swollen shaft into her mouth and moved her lips slowly. She kissed down the length of him. His body quaked when her tongue grazed the pulsating tip. Madness paralyzed him as her tongue swirled, licked, tickled every inch. Sliding deeper down her throat, she applied additional pressure to the throbbing organ with her mouth. His husky groans and murmurs echoed loudly against the walls.

  “Grace…”

  She felt like giving him a taste of his own medicine with good-natured taunts of her own. That would have to wait for another time. Her body was a burning inferno. She ached at the apex of her legs. Giving pleasure to someone never felt so good. In a low and strained voice, she heard him say, “I’m about to explode.”

  In one swift motion, he eased from under her and settled his body over hers. She wrapped her legs around his waist eagerly, waiting and stimulating. Her blood rushed through her veins like wildfire once he plunged into her moist center, gliding and sinking. She received him easily. She raised her arms and gripped the headboard, clenching her muscles, while he rocked her body. Untamed and brutish, he rode her like a Stallion.

  Grace thrashed her head from side to side, feverish and damp. Tanner’s powerful strokes had placed her in a hazy state. Crying out his name, a mind-numbing spasm ripped through her, causing her entire body to convulse. His body jolted and he gripped her hips tightly. He buried himself deeper inside her, grinding his teeth and arching his strong back as he succumbed to an earth-shifting, body-quaking orgasm.

  “My darling, Grace,” he whispered against her ear.

  Tanner McGregor had the last word and she didn’t mind.

  *

  “Are you still coming to The Pigeonhole tonight?”

  Tanner looked up from feeding Ariel. “Definitely.” He readjusted the active bundle of joy on his lap as food fell on her bib. “Remind me again, is there something special happening tonight?”

  “Nope,” Grace said, tossing her Berry Luscious lip gloss into her purse. “I just want to hang around you some more.”

  The corners of his mouth tilted upwards with a humorous expression. “Woman, you’re going to see me so much from this day forward that you’ll probably get tired.”

  “Not a chance that will ever happen,” Grace said, bending low and smacking a kiss on his lips.

  “Nice,” he said with a hazy look in his eyes. “Is there more where that came from?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. If you’re good boy, you’ll find out later.”

  Tanner exaggerated a shiver. “I intend to be on my best behavior. Just thinking about what we did this morning is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow path.”

  The doorbell rang and sliced into their serene setting. A quizzical look came over Tanner’s face. He exchanged a glance with Grace. Agitation streaked in his eyes. “I’m not expecting anyone.”

  She stood and volunteered. “I’ll answer it.”

  “Thanks,” he said. Over his shoulder, he said, “Tell whoever it is to go away, especially if it’s Bud or Lorilee. I have my two favorite girls here with me and I don’t feel like sharing.”

  “No way. You’ll do your own dirty work.”

  “Rats,” he blurted. “Well, I would do it myself, but this kid is really enjoying her applesauce.”

  She heard Ariel burble. Tanner egged her on, trying to double up on the cuteness factor. Wagging her finger, she said, “Using an innocent child is just shameful.”

  “It was her idea,” he accused mirthfully.

  “Shameful.”

  She opened the door. A giant sturdy-looking man stood on the porch. Seemingly made of muscles, he wore a white from head to toe—shirt, shorts, baseball cap and sneakers. His well-groomed mustache gave him an air of dignity even in his casual attire. In his hand, he carried a fluffy pink stuffed rabbit. A shimmer of hope brightened his eyes. His free hand tugged on his cap more times than necessary. Not knowing whether to smile or frown, talk or remain silent, he stared at her anxiously. Nervously, he bounced from one foot to the other.

  Glee and trepidation jockeyed for position in Grace. This man was no stranger. During her days as a private investigator, she’d seen this man several times, coming out of hotels or parked on dark corners of a street. She knew his age, occupation and salary. Italian was his favorite food. Jazz music put him in a romantic mood. He preferred wine to beer. Trailing Sheila had provided her with oodles of information on the caramel colored man. By watching when he was with the striking, but vile woman, Grace had been able to see the unmistakable love in his eyes. Amazingly, she harbored no ill feelings toward him. Any fool could fall in love. Even with a witch. However, she wasn’t certain how Tanner would react to the man’s presence.

  After several seconds of silence, the man found his voice. “Hi…um…I’m Carl Blakely…and…”

  Grace flashed him a reassuring smile. “I know who you are. I was the one that called and left you the message.”

  Carl acknowledged her statement without eye contact, trying desperately to peak around her shoulder into the house. “Is she here?”

  Before she could respond, Tanner’s voice boomed, “Who’s at the door?”

  Hearing him pad across the floor, she braced herself. When she had called Carl on her cell phone the previous day, she thought her mind and spirit would be duly prepared for any outcome—a torrent of stormy emotions or a calm resolve. All on Tanner’s part. He had become quite attached to the little girl, and the curly-haired tike was similarly affected by him. But she hadn’t been able to fight the niggling feeling in the back of her mind that there was a great possibility Ariel wasn’t his biological daughter. Besides, Sheila didn’t strike her as the kind of woman who had a courteous bone in her body. She only cared about herself, disappearing to parts unknown and leaving her daughter behind spoke volumes about her character.

  Grace felt them before she viewed them. Tanner and Ariel. Then, her heart leapt and wailed at the same time. Ariel said, “Da-da.”

  “Daddy’s girl!” Carl breezed around Grace and grabbed Ariel from Tanner’s arms. Emotions surfaced in his eyes that men usually tried to save for those moments when they were alone in the dark. Relief and love flooded his face. He held onto Ariel like she a precious jewel. Grace believed the rest of the world vanished for Carl when he heard Ariel call him, stretching her tiny hands toward him. She could only imagine the joy springing in his heart. She could literally hear him biting back tears. There not an inkling of doubt left in her mind. Carl Blakely was Ariel’s father.

  Tanner would be crushed, she thought.

  After prolonging the inevitable, she faced him. Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach. The muscles in his jaw jumped. Happiness evaporated from his eyes. Shock and disbelief overshadowed everything else in his eyes. Darkness swam in them. The corners of his mouth curved downward. She was tempted to try and kiss away the pain his spirit exuded. In his present condition, the last thing he needed was a kiss. First, his mind had to register the scene playing before his eyes and recognize the implications. For him, there was no good news, unless he decided to factor in the immense delight Ariel experienced by being reunited with her father. Deep down, Grace believed he was touched. She assumed he would replay the scene in his mind during the wee hours. Staring at the limp expression on his face, she concluded that was a long time away. Too long. And her current predicament—trying to bear the brunt of Tanner’s seething gaze, while appearing to remain poised and unflustered—was downright impossible.

  If courage came in a pill, she would’ve taken it without a second thought at that moment. She really wanted to dodge his glare by disappearing inside a shell like a turtle and returning once the bad episode passed. But that was a lame way of thinking. She wasn’t a coward or a reptile. She was every bit a grown woman. The man she loved looked like he could crumble. He needed compassion. He needed support. He needed answers.

  She intended to provide him wi
th all of that and then some.

  Stretching her hand tentatively, Grace reached for his arm to caress and provide reassurance. Soothing words had even crept into her throat and yielded briefly, waiting for the appropriate time to assist. With the extension of her hand, they tried to push through, but faltered because Tanner had pulled away and moved out of reach.

  *

  Grace tried to maintain her composure as she stood the other side of the doorway, watching Tanner give Ariel’s diaper bag and favorite stuffed animal to Carl, who held her protectively. A thousand waves of emotion washed over Grace when she caught a glimpse of the steely, but soft gaze fluttering in his eyes as he planted a goodbye kiss on Ariel’s chubby cheek. She heard his voice crack when he called her Chipmunk. The little girl had really made a big impression on his heart in such a short period of time. His life had been blessed in so many ways with just the tot’s presence. It was obvious he didn’t want to live without her. But neither did Carl.

  “Thanks,” Carl said, grinning from ear to ear. He slapped Tanner’s hand in a brotherly fashion. “I’ve been going out of my mind since my little girl has been gone. Now I can breathe again.”

  Tanner smiled ruefully. “Unlike Sheila, you love this little girl. And she deserves the world, which I know you are willing to give her. But if she ever needs anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

  Carl nodded. Then, his eyebrows shot up thoughtfully. “I hope it doesn’t take a crisis for you to pay us a visit. Ariel has grown quite attached to you. I’ll admit I’m a little jealous, but for her sake I pushed my feelings aside.”

  Tanner shoved his hands in his pockets, beaming at the open invitation. “Plan on seeing me a lot.”

  Ariel shook her head wildly and gurgled, which sent them all into hysterical fits of laughter. And the last thing Tanner and Grace saw was Ariel’s smile before Carl secured her in the car seat. She could sense he was tempted to marched to the man’s green Toyota and seize the child he adored like she was his own. A vein popped out on his forehead and his jaws clenched.

  The strength he exuded was remarkable.

  He and Grace waved farewell as the car disappeared around the corner. Tanner closed the door. The air evaporated out the room. Tension settled in its place—thick and suffocating.

  They were buried under its layers. Her generous gesture blew up in her face. When those good deeds didn’t go unpunished it sucked.

  “Happy?” he said, brushing past her.

  A chill ran down her spine. The tone of his voice was uncommonly icy. She expected him to be sore, but it still hurt. All she wanted to do was the right thing. Carl had told them how he had been searching high and low for his daughter. Sheila had left and taken Ariel one day, while he had been at work. He had been aware she viewed his financial status as being beneath her standards, despite the fact that he made a good living as a financial consultant. He had promised her there would be more money coming. However, it hadn’t come quickly enough to suite her. So she left. He had no idea she would’ve gone back to Tanner, claiming he had fathered Ariel in order to finagle her way back into his life, his house and his wallet. After talking about Sheila, signs of disgust had blazed across Carl’s face. Not only had his accounts of her dirty deeds left a foul taste in Grace’s mouth, but Tanner had looked ill whenever Carl simply mentioned the woman’s name.

  “Am I happy?” Grace repeated his question, pacing and wringing her hands. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”

  Tanner sinks into a chair. He tilts his head slightly to the side in her direction. His eyes zoom in on her face not to read her expression, but to allow her to view the total disappointment that attacked every cell in his body. Each breath he took was suffused with distress. It tainted the room and made the air heavy. His strong shoulders slumped with the weight of it all. Who knew his emotions would have flowed so deep for Ariel? Who knew he wouldn’t careless if he were her biological father or not? Who knew…

  Not Grace.

  She cringed when he released a burdened sigh. Her skin felt like a million tiny ants were crawling on it, stinging and biting. Seeing him crestfallen because of something she had done—even if well-intentioned—caused her stomach to churn. Earlier she had tried to explain to him the reasons she had used her private investigator skills to find Carl and let him know Ariel’s location. Still too stunned at the sudden turn of events, he permitted her words to go through one ear and out the other.

  The silence killed Grace slowly. One of them had to open up the lines of communication. She refused to leave his home with so much darkness shadowing her. If they were going to build a future together, disagreements would definitely happen from time to time. She believed it would be best for them both if they learned how to deal with such situations now. She commanded herself to speak and change the direction of the tide threatening to drown all she cherished. Not really knowing what to say, she uttered the first words that popped into her head. “I’m…sorry.”

  Although Tanner stirred in his seat, she could plainly see he wasn’t moved. Agitated, he raked his fingers through his curls. Incredulity and something more cheerless bombarded his gaze. “That’s all you’ve got to say?”

  Huh?

  Grace knitted her brow. Exasperation swelled in her breast, dancing dangerously close to her, which struggled to remain patient due to the love rooted in it. An apology wasn’t good enough and her mind devoid of other options. Mind-boggling sex didn’t appear to be an alternative. Tanner’s mood and attitude seemed fastened on the bumper of Carl’s car, or strapped to the hood, which was currently taking Ariel too many miles away from his home…his arms. The hurt was visibly burning him from the inside out. Grace felt his pain. “Tanner, I understand—“

  Quickly, he raised a hand, chopping off any additional words she dared to express. His body language showed he was ready to explode with frustration. Instead of shouting, his voice dropped an octave. He said, leaning forward, “You don’t understand. How could you?”

  Grace sensed he wasn’t sorting through his words carefully as he spoke. Skating on thin ice, she had a niggling feeling in a few seconds he may put his foot in his mouth and she would be tempted to put her foot somewhere on his anatomy.

  Watch it, buddy, she wanted to warn him. Standing idly by, she listened.

  He continued. “You’ve never had children. You’re just a…”

  Her spine straightened. It wasn’t a sign of bravery. The connotative meaning of his words reached her ears before he completed his sentence. She could fill in the blanks. “I’m just a what?” she challenged unnecessarily. Her lips were heavy, but she forged ahead. “A barren spinster who has never experienced the love and joy a child can bring to a person’s life.”

  Finally, the shoe was on the other foot. He flinched and looked uncomfortable. Misunderstood. “That’s not what I was going to say,” Tanner tried to clarify. “Nor is it what I meant.”

  Sticks and stones, my big fanny, she thought. Grace didn’t know about him, but she felt like she’d been kicked in the gut. And the ache was toying with her mind. Her emotions were skewered. Was that a dagger protruding from her heart? It resembled one that was driven deep, twisted and turned. She had been cut to her core. The subject of children was a sensitive one. She had always wanted a child of her own. And her biological clock was clicking like crazy. This was her little secret. After having had divulged this information to Kevin and her mother, she learned ago to keep certain facts to herself.

  Kevin had convinced she would make a bad mother and used that as an excuse to not have children while they were married. After their divorce, her mother caused her believe she would forever be alone. Motherless.

  She never fathomed the day would come when Tanner would be comparable to her mother. Who knew her ears would’ve ever recognized her mother’s voice when he spoke? Disillusionment crashed in her mind like lightning cracking through darkness. Tears suddenly filled in her eyes. Her vision blurred. Magic no longer seemed to exist, just the sore s
pot troubling her heart.

  Shameless tears trailed down her cheeks. Snatching up her purse and flinging it over her shoulder, she stumbled backwards to the door, yanking it open.

  “Wait,” Tanner said, attempting to steady her trembling body.

  Whipping away from him as if he was infected with the black plague, Grace stiffened her upper lip. She wanted nothing more to do with him. The beautiful tales he had spun about their life together were nothing more than fiction. A figment of his imagination she had been gullible enough to sink her teeth into. To think, she had actually believed he was different. He was the same ole, same ole she’d been dealing with for too many years from too many people. It was time to return the pretty gifted-wrapped fantasies to their sender. So much for a happy ending. “You don’t have to worry about this spinster anymore. Goodbye.”

  For the second time that day, Tanner the air being snatched out his lungs as he watched someone he loved leave.

  *

  Hours later, Grace stared into space as the crowd in The Pigeonhole buzzed around her. Forgetting about Tanner McGregor was harder than she expected. But she would give it a go. Later. Much later in fact. Her love for him was an issue she intended to deal with on her own terms. Though she vowed to not set foot at his door ever again, her heart was stubborn, calling to him, aching for him. Their love affair was over. Her heart and soul and body had to understand he would no longer be around to provide joy or laughter or love.

  Plenty of fish in the sea. And she had a lot time to get her rod and reel to pluck a big, hunky one from it.

  “You’re going to burn a hole in the wall if you keep staring like that,” Ava said, handing Grace a glass of wine and a list of names.

  Grace smiled weakly. Taking the glass, she sipped. They had repaired their friendship the way many girlfriends had—a phone call inundated with girl talk and laughter and venting and consolation. Grace just knew she wouldn’t have made it through so many storms without Ava in her life. After her last conversation with Tanner, she hadn’t breathed a word of their unbearable parting to Ava. This wasn’t simply a storm, which needed to be weathered. It was a catastrophe that left her emotions in a pile of rubble, a natural disaster of epic proportions. Blinded by love’s light, she didn’t see it coming--the end of their love affair.