by Donna Fasano
Even though the child didn’t understand him, she curled her fingers around his. On his way out the door, Sean picked up the heaviest canvas bag with his free hand, then he led Sona to the end of the hallway.
“You and Sona will be sharing a bathroom,” he told her, indicating one of the doors they passed with a nod of his head.
She grinned. “That won’t be a problem. I’ve shared a bathroom with an entire floor of families.” She chuckled. “I’ve perfected the five-minute shower.”
“Well, there’ll be no need of that here.” He went through the door of her room, set down her bag and flipped on the light. “There’s plenty of hot water. Enough even for a long soak in the tub. Every single day, if you like.”
The mere thought of a hot bath was so sinfully sensuous that Nicki actually groaned. “You have no idea how wonderful that sounds.” When she opened her eyes, she thought she saw a fleeting sense of tension in Sean’s jaw. However, on second glance, she didn’t see a trace of strain.
She looked around at the pale-green and rich cream decor. “Nice,” she told him. “Very nice.”
“I hope you’ll be comfortable.”
The odd tautness in his voice made Nicki frown. Her gaze flew to his face, but he’d dipped his head, busying himself by picking up Sona and smoothing her little dress.
What had she done, what had she said, to cause the change in him? To induce the sudden tension she felt in the air?
“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Her assurance sounded vague and far-off.
Sean walked to the door. “You get yourself settled. I’ll take Sona down to the kitchen and see if I can rustle up something for us to eat. There won’t be much in the fridge. I’ve been gone quite a while. It’ll probably be soup and crackers.”
“I don’t mind cooking—”
“No,” he cut her off firmly, not bothering to turn back.
The sharpness in his tone made her spine straighten. He had never been short with her. A frown drew her brows together, her gaze on his back.
‘‘Come on down after you’ve unpacked some of your things.”
And then he was gone.
Confusion swirled around her along with the cool draft that poured into the room from the air-conditioning vent. What had happened? Why had things turned so tense?
Finally, she sighed. Maybe she was imagining it. Sean was surely just as tired as she. Maybe the long hours of travel were catching up to him, too.
She set her backpack on the soft cream-colored bedspread. The carpet and walls of the room were the exact same shade of soft green. The curtains matched the bed coverlet.
Calmness. Serenity. That’s what she felt just standing in the middle of the room.
Nicki guessed that Sean had had the room professionally decorated, just as he’d had Sona’s. The understated elegance was very nice, indeed. Nicer than any place she’d stayed in recently, that’s for sure.
From the backpack she pulled out her hairbrush and comb and placed them on the dresser. She glanced up into the mirror. The hours of getting from Kyrcznovia to America had taken their toll on her. Mascara was smudged beneath her eyes, her hair a mess. Rather than unpack her clothes, she opted to go into the bathroom and freshen up a bit. She’d never been a vain person so she didn’t fully understand this sudden urge to look nice. However, she couldn’t help but suspect it had something to do with the man waiting for her downstairs.
Nicki went down the steps, following her nose toward the kitchen. She’d washed her face, brushed her teeth and run a comb through her hair. She’d applied a touch of fresh mascara. The short time she’d spent in the bathroom almost made her feel like a new woman.
When she entered the kitchen her attention was immediately captured by the broad expanse of Sean’s back. His shoulder muscles flexed and relaxed as he worked over a skillet at the stove. The small movement was mesmerizing. Nicki’s pulse quickened. She forced herself to breathe slowly, evenly. Then she closed her eyelids, silently counting to five.
When she opened her eyes, she looked around her rather than at Sean. The kitchen gleamed with white cabinets and chrome appliances. It was a large, farmhouse-style room, wide-open and spacious. Finally, when her heartbeat had slowed to a more normal rate, she proceeded further into the room.
“Omelettes.” She smiled as she watched Sean scooping the fluffy eggs from the pan.
“Yes,” he told her. “There was no soup on the shelves. I hope you like eggs. It’s about all we have. I’ll have to go to the store tomorrow.”
“I’m so hungry, I’d eat practically anything.” Nicki was pleased that he seemed more relaxed than he had upstairs. His sudden snappish mood seemed to have passed. She was also glad she’d overcome her own bout with… well, whatever it was that had plagued her just a moment before. The toaster popped, and she automatically went to pull out the bread slices.
“I found a loaf of bread in the freezer,” he told her. “I hope there’s butter in the fridge. Would you take a look?”
While they spent a few more moments preparing the simple meal, Sona concentrated on eating the raisins that Sean had placed on the tray of her high- chair.
“Mmm,” Nicki commented when they sat at the table together. “This is delicious. Light and fluffy.”
“I whip a teaspoon or so of water into the eggs to keep them moist while they’re cooking.”
“And the cheese.” She was silent a moment as she marveled at the taste.
“Swiss.” He grinned. “Although I had to cut the hard bits off.” Then he cocked his head. “You look like you haven’t tasted—”
“I haven’t,” she admitted, only just able to quash the nearly delirious groan hovering on her lips. “For years. The cheese that’s most readily available in the backwoods of Europe is made from the milk of sheep. There’s some goat’s milk cheese. But no Swiss to be had.” She took another moment to chew. “This is so good.”
Sean laughed. “Gee,” he said, “you’re pretty easy to please.”
Realizing how silly she must look to him, her face flamed. Then she broke out laughing herself. She shrugged and admitted honestly, “I forgot what I’d been missing.” She scooped up another bite of omelette. “This really is good.” Her mouth closed over the fork.
After the last bite of egg had been consumed, along with the last crumb of buttered toast, Nicki said, “Why don’t you let me clean up? I’ll watch Sona and you can go have a shower.”
He looked at her a moment. “You know, I think I’ll take you up on that offer. Just put the dishes in the dishwasher. I’m going to go look in on the horses, see if I can find that cat of mine, and then I’ll take a shower.”
Later, after Sona had been bathed and dressed in her pajamas, the three of them sat on the floor of the toddler’s bedroom. They had pulled out the wooden blocks Sean had bought weeks earlier, and he and Nicki stacked towers that Sona delighted in knocking down. Soon, though, Sona sat down and concentrated on making towers of her own, stacking one block atop the other.
“So,” Nicki said, “now that you have Sona home, do you want to have a party? To introduce her to your family and friends. I’d be happy to help.”
“There’s no need for a party.” He let a block roll off his palm onto the pretty blue carpet. “I have no family. Well, no close family. I was an only child and my parents died in a boating accident eight years ago.”
“Oh, Sean,” she breathed. “I’m sorry.”
He accepted her condolences with a small nod. “And the friends I have I made through my business. They’re scattered all over the country. And we’re not close enough to celebrate something as personal as this.”
How lonely he must be, Nicki thought. No family. No close personal friends. She wondered if he had a girlfriend, someone on whom he could depend during this new phase in his life, but she didn’t have the courage to ask. From what he’d said, though, he didn’t have anyone in whom he could lean on… confide his doubts, his fears, or share his triumphs and jo
ys.
With her mind still churning over his circumstance, she asked, “So there’s no one you need to notify about Sona’s arrival into your life? Nobody you want to celebrate with?”
Something in her tone had him looking at her, his brow slightly furrowed. “Don’t be feeling sorry for me. My life is just as full as I want it to be. I have my work. I have my horses. My cat.” He grinned. “And now I have a daughter. My world has expanded quite nicely, if you ask me.”
But you need someone, she wanted to say. You need a friend. A companion. A mate. A wife.
Remembering how she came to be here, the thought immediately narrowed, focused like a sharp ray of light. A real wife. Someone who would be around to help you raise Sona.
Placing herself in the role she was conjuring never entered her head. She was Sean’s wife, yes. But only for the moment. She was a temporary spouse. Very temporary. Her footloose life-style wouldn’t permit anything else.
However, once their marriage was annulled, he should really try to find a woman who could and would spend her life helping him make a happy home for Sona. That’s what would be best. For Sona. And for him.
Nicki wanted to tell him all these things. She wanted to discuss the cons of what she saw as the isolation he’d set up for himself. He might think his world was open enough, full enough, but she couldn’t fathom how that could be true. However, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him her thoughts. She just didn’t know him well enough. Didn’t know how he’d react to unsolicited advice. So she’d have to wait awhile. Until she got to know him just a little better.
Hours later, Nicki lay awake in her bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark. Her exhaustion had had her yawning in Sona’s room, and Sean had urged her to go to bed.
He expected Sona to be up late, seeing as how she’d taken such a long nap during the trip home.
When Nicki pointed out that Sean must be just as tired as she, and then offered to stay up with Sona, he’d gently rejected the idea. He was Sona’s dad now, he’d proudly reminded her. He was the one who had to get used to the long, sleepless nights that other single fathers must surely be forced to endure.
He actually seemed eager for the experience, Nicki realized. So she had gone off to bed. However, once there, she couldn’t sleep even though she was bone weary. She tried reading. Tried listening to slow, soft tunes on her iPhone’s Pandora app. But nothing seemed to help. After what felt like at least a couple of hours of tossing and turning, she finally got up, grabbed her robe, and headed toward the door. What she needed, she decided, turning the knob, was a cool drink of water from the kitchen.
Moonlight streamed in through the bathroom window, casting long shadows in the hallway. She saw Sean at Sona’s door.
“Did she finally fall off to sleep?” Nicki whispered, the darkness causing her to move closer than usual just so she could make out his face.
He smiled and nodded. “She looks like a little angel in that crib.”
Nicki remarked, “She is a little angel.”
“My little angel.” He said the words almost to himself, then he focused his intent gaze on Nicki. He was quiet, reflective, as he looked at her in the dark stillness for several seconds. Reaching up, he captured her chin in his fingers. “And she’s with me all because of you.”
His fingers were warm against her skin. His touch sent adrenalin shooting through her, and her heart pounded. She studied his eyes. Those profound, sable eyes.
She wanted to blink. To look away. But she simply couldn’t. She was lost.
“I was in there rocking her,” Sean said softly, his fingertips sliding, like heated velvet against her flesh, “and it all just came flooding back to me again. I owe you so much. So much, I’ll never be able to repay you.”
Her gaze left his only long enough to watch the tip of his tongue sneak out to moisten his sexy lips.
“I only wish there was something I could do to let you know how grateful I am.”
The silence that followed was so extreme, so penetrating, that Nicki was certain she’d never experienced anything like it in her entire life. Something was about to happen. Something wonderful. Or something terrible. She didn’t know which.
The moment hovered on the very edge of time, and she couldn’t decide if the cadence was quickening… or slowing. All she knew for certain was that she was trapped, hypnotized, unable to speak, unable to move, as she waited for the something that was most surely coming.
Then he moved. Not away from her, but toward her. And all Nicki could do was close her eyes and hold her breath.
Chapter Five
Searing heat. That was the one and only sensation of which Nicki was aware when his mouth closed over hers so possessively. Surely her lips would be blistered by his. White-hot, like the burning sands of some distant, sun-baked desert.
Then, slowly, other perceptions seeped into her hazy thoughts. The soft moisture of his kiss tempering the blazing fire. The silken feel of his tongue toying languidly across her lips. When she didn’t immediately bid him entry, he lightly, erotically nipped at her bottom lip with his teeth, and it was this nibbling that had her emitting a soft but audible groan.
Almost of their own volition, her arms reached up and slid around his neck. Her fingers entwined themselves in the short, downy hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer. His kiss became more ardent, more demanding, and she opened herself to him, parted her lips so he could venture inside the tender recesses of her mouth.
The desire that shot through her was so pure, so stunningly unadulterated, she was certain she would be scorched to the very soul. She clung to him for dear life, her knees having grown weak and wobbly, and the scant distance she traveled in leaning closer to him changed everything. Heightened the sensations she was experiencing. Snuffing out all her thought processes. Until all she could do was feel.
His rock-hard thighs against hers. The solid mass of his chest pressed tight against her breasts. His hands on her face and the small of her back. The heat of his body penetrating her clothing. She breathed in his sweet breath. And he breathed in hers. Again she moaned against his mouth.
Sean spoke. Some breathless, whispery proclamation that roused her, nudged her out of her passionate stupor, but not soon enough to have heard him clearly.
What had he said? she wondered. Had he murmured a curse? Whispered her name? What?
She blinked, and then realized that he’d pulled away from her several inches. He stared at her, shadows cast across his features obscuring his expression.
Giving a dry swallow, the hair on her arms rose as she was thunderstruck with a fear so sudden, so intense that she was barely able to suppress her startled cry. She shoved herself away from him, confused and filled to the brim with this vague and terrible dread.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured.
She only looked at him with what she knew were huge, panicky eyes, feeling like a wild animal that had been cornered by a vicious hunter. She had to escape. She must flee.
“Nicki…” he began softly.
For some unknown reason, the regret she heard in his voice only seemed to magnify the panic whirling inside her. Before he could speak—she must not give him the opportunity to say another word—she turned on her heel, rushed blindly into her room and shut the door.
***
The horse’s muzzle was like velvet. Nicki ran her fingers lightly down the coal-black nose, whispering a soft hello to the animal.
She’d been standing at the stall, intending only to take a quick peek at Sean’s horses before going inside to make the morning coffee. However, while standing there, her thoughts had become sidetracked. She’d tarried so long the horse in the stall had approached her, rubbing the side of its face against the slatted gate, wanting—Nicki guessed—a little petting.
“What a pretty boy,” she cooed.
The animal’s coat was black and shiny as polished jet, glistening in the morning sunlight that streamed in through the large double doors o
f the barn. His shoulders were massive, his mane quite thick. And the horse’s tail was so long it nearly brushed its back hooves. When the horse had first approached her, Nicki had felt hesitant. But it had nickered a greeting and was content when she began to cuddle him a little. Now feeling comfortable with her company, she let her mind continue to wander.
How on earth had she and Sean ended up kissing last night? That was the very last thing she’d expected… no, that wasn’t true. At the very final moment, she’d known something had been about to occur. But a kiss? That hadn’t been something she had wanted to happen.
But since it had, why had she panicked the way she had? Why had she felt so… filled with fear?
It wasn’t as if she’d never been kissed. She was twenty-six, for goodness’ sake. She’d had dates with men. Not a great deal of them, granted. But she’d had some. And she’d had her share of goodnight kisses, too.
So why the overwhelming anxiety?
Thinking about it only made her head begin to ache. The fear that had walloped her last night really didn’t matter, she silently concluded, pushing the disturbing thoughts away. What mattered was that she had to keep her relationship with Sean on a friends-only basis, easy and casual. Europe was her future. She had classes to teach, children to instruct. She simply couldn’t get involved….
She shook her head at the unfinished thought.
She’d have to tell him, she decided. She’d have to go over the ground rules they had laid out when she had agreed to travel home with him to become Sona’s nanny. She’d have to make her intentions crystal clear.
“Morning.”
Nicki started, turning to see Sean standing in the doorway, the bright morning sun behind him. He came forward and the horse nodded its head in obvious excitement. Nicki backed a half step away from the stall.
“Hello,” she said, the air in the high-ceilinged building feeling suddenly too close.
Sean handed her one of the mugs of steaming coffee he carried. Then he watched her inhale the rich aroma. She looked beautiful in the morning light with the sun turning her hair to flaming copper. Something deep in his gut stirred, but he clamped a tight, controlling lid on it.