Table For Eight

by Tricia Stringer

He glared at her and the pain that had been twisting inside her abated, replaced with a simmering heat.

  “You act aloof,” he went on, “so not needing of anyone. We were in love. I thought when I met you again we could rekindle something of what we felt. I have, but you won’t let me past that exterior you’ve built around yourself. What’s happened to you, Kathy?”

  The rage inside her boiled over and she could contain herself no longer. “You happened to me, Leo. You all but destroyed me. I had to work so hard to rebuild myself, to enjoy life again.”

  “Now you’re sounding like Marjorie. Surely it’s not my fault you had a miscarriage.”

  “That’s so insensitive, Leo,” Josie said. “I can’t believe—”

  “No, it wasn’t your fault I lost our baby.” Ketty’s quiet words cut Josie off. “But let me tell you how it went, Leo.” His disdainful look strengthened her resolve. The words bubbled up her throat, wanting escape from the prison she’d boxed them in for thirty-five years. “I didn’t know I was even pregnant. Once again I blame my own stupidity for not recognising the signs. I’d been nauseous on the cruise with my friend, Felicity, but I put it down to seasickness. It remained when I returned home, got worse. Then the pain began, it was terrible. I was writhing in agony, burning up with fever when I managed to attract my neighbour’s attention to call an ambulance.”

  Ketty took a steadying breath, well aware of the two sets of similar eyes watching her, Josie’s pretty blue brimming with tears and Leo’s pale green and cold.

  “At the hospital the doctors said I had lost the baby. That was the first shock. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I’d had an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured and become infected. They asked if there was someone I should call.” Ketty paused, willing herself to go on. “I called you, Leo, on the only contact number I had, your work number.”

  “I never got the call,” he blustered.

  “No. When I asked to speak to you, your secretary was very excited to tell me you’d been called away to the hospital…to be with your wife who’d gone into labour with your first child.”

  Josie gasped beside her but Ketty didn’t look away from Leo’s face. She watched the surprise and then the shock register.

  “She said she’d take a message.” Ketty gripped her hands together in her lap. Now that she’d come this far she had to say the rest. Her words tumbled out. “While you were at your wife’s side rejoicing in a new child, our baby was lost.”

  Ketty swallowed, still staring at Leo who had said nothing but at least looked contrite. “I had emergency surgery and woke up with tubes and drains and equipment connected all over me. I was a mess inside. They’d thought I was going to die, and at the time I wished I had.”

  “Oh Ketty, how awful.”

  It was Josie’s quiet words and the feel of her warm hand sliding over to grip Ketty’s that almost undid her. She bit hard on her lip to hold back the tears.

  “But you recovered.” Leo found his voice at last, a smile that was more like a wince on his face. “I wish I’d known, Kathy, I would have come to you.”

  “And left your wife when she’d just had a baby?” She glared steadily at him and saw the faintest hint of remorse in his look. Josie’s fingers wrapped tighter over hers. “You and I both know that wouldn’t have happened, Leo. My life course changed from then on. No babies for me.” She was running on empty now; the words that had flowed like lava from her mouth had taken her energy with them.

  “I know you felt I was lost to you, Kathy, but…” Leo shrugged his shoulders. “You could have had children with someone else.”

  Ketty sucked in a breath. “No, Leo. They had to remove my womb to save my life.”

  “You had a hysterectomy. Oh Ketty, I’m so sorry.” Josie slid an arm around Ketty’s shoulders but there was no consolation from Leo. He remained rigid in his chair, his expression changing to anger.

  “Are you blaming me?” he growled.

  Ketty took in his unyielding stare, the stiffness of his jaw, searching for some trace of the man she’d loved.

  “When it happened…yes, I admit I did. I felt guilt, shame, despair and I had to put the cause somewhere so it was you. But over time, my body healed and I came to understand it for what it was. I accepted you could not be with me and that I would have no more children. I discovered living wasn’t so bad once I’d done that. I’ll never forget the child that didn’t survive, the lost opportunity for more, but I’ve found a life fulfilled in other ways.”

  “There you are then.” Leo took up his eclair and bit into it.

  “My God, Leo.” Josie’s words came out in a harsh rasp. “Ketty’s poured her heart out and while the final result was not your fault, you did deceive her and you were the father of the baby she lost.”

  “What is it you want from me?” He looked from Josie to Ketty, genuine puzzlement on his face.

  “Have you not one ounce of empathy in your body?” Josie said.

  Leo dropped the half-eaten eclair back to his plate and wiped his fingers on the napkin. “Why is it that women get so emotional over babies, especially those that never lived?”

  “Leo, I can’t believe I’m seeing this side of you.” Josie gaped at her brother.

  “I’m who I’ve always been.” This time he reached out and brushed a wisp of hair back from where it had fallen forward over Ketty’s cheek.

  She tensed but there was nothing intimate in the touch. He was purely tidying up something he saw as out of place, she understood that now.

  Leo shrugged his shoulders, took a sip of his coffee and wrinkled his nose. “It’s gone cold.”

  Nausea roiled in the pit of Ketty’s stomach. She didn’t know what reaction she’d expected from Leo but this was not it. She hadn’t wanted sympathy, just some understanding, perhaps a tiny bit of sorrow for what they’d both lost. Hearing him speak of his wife’s loss so dismissively made Ketty think that perhaps he’d always had that cold streak in him. She hadn’t known him long enough to discover it, too mesmerised by his charismatic looks and imposing presence, but now she suspected it had always been there.

  “I think Kathy and I should have some time to ourselves.” Leo turned to his sister. “Surely you understand, Josie. You can find your way around from here and back to the ship.”

  Ketty was shaken from her inward thoughts. “I’m not going to abandon Josie.”

  “But we have had so little time together, Kathy. How about we go somewhere else? One of those nice little restaurants overlooking the bay and have a drink. Talk about happier things.”

  This time he tried to take her hand. She moved it out of his reach.

  “I’ve run out of words.” Ketty felt exhausted now. She’d like nothing better than to go back to her cabin and sleep for the rest of the day.

  Leo stood up and held his hand towards her, the commanding look back on his face. “Fresh air and a glass of wine will do you good.”

  Ketty looked away. She was relieved that his gaze had no effect on her at all except perhaps regret.

  “Off you go then, Leo.” Josie’s tone was matter-of-fact. “We’ll see you back at the ship.”

  Ketty heard his snort of disbelief but she didn’t look up.

  “We’ll talk later, Kathy.”

  She sensed his movement, a pause then heard the door behind her.

  “He’s actually left,” Josie said. “I’m so sorry, Ketty. I’m embarrassed to think my own brother could act in such a callous way. I thought I knew him. No wonder his relationships haven’t lasted if that’s how he’s treated women.”

  “This has nothing to do with you, Josie. You can’t be responsible for another person’s behaviour even if they are family. I’m sorry you got caught up in it.”

  “I’m not, but I feel so bad about prying now.”

  “I’d planned to tell Leo today anyway.”

  Josie gave a weak smile. “At least I could be here for you.”

  “Perhaps it wasn’t the best way to te
ll him.” Ketty couldn’t help but think if it had been just her and Leo she could have explained it differently, not sounded so accusing.

  “Don’t you dare blame yourself for my brother’s poor behaviour.” Josie wagged a finger at her. “I can see by the look on your face you’re feeling sorry and you mustn’t. You lived through so much sorrow on your own and yet you’ve come through it, remained true and honest and kind.”

  Ketty felt her cheeks warm at Josie’s praise. “I’m no saint.”

  “That clearly means you’re human, but now I wonder about my brother. He doesn’t appear to have learned anything from his mistakes. After watching him today his past indiscretions all make more sense now.”

  “He’s still your brother.”

  “Humph. Wait till I catch up with him back in the cabin. He’s going to get an earful.” Josie picked up her cup, put it to her mouth and wrinkled her nose. “He’s right about one thing though, that coffee’s gone cold. How about I get us a nice pot of tea instead?”

  Ketty nodded and sat unmoving while Josie went to place her order. A heavy feeling washed over her. She recognised the sensation as the grief that had overwhelmed her for so long after her baby had died and her battle to survive the infection that had ravaged her body. It had taken time but she’d come to terms with no Leo and no more children. She’d thought it was all behind her but now, as the prickling sensation wriggled across her shoulders and down her arms, she felt like perhaps she could at last, after thirty-five years, let it go. She would never forget the love – whoever did their first? – nor deny she once carried a tiny human being inside her, a result of that love, but even though it had been awful, telling Leo had been cathartic. She no longer wondered what if?

  Josie returned and then froze at the sight of something behind Ketty.

  “Hello, ladies. I’m so glad I’ve found you.”

  Ketty turned at the sound of Bernard’s voice. The hesitant look on his face didn’t match his cheerful words.

  “I don’t think we were lost were we, Ketty?” Josie sat back in her chair, pretending she wasn’t delighted that Bernard had turned up at last.

  “We did wonder what had become of you though.” Ketty smiled at him, so glad to feel the muscles of her face turn up all of their own accord. Other people’s lives were still so much more interesting than her own and she liked it that way.

  Bernard came to stand beside them. “Josie, I was hoping we could talk. Would you excuse us a moment, Ketty?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ve just ordered a fresh pot of tea,” Josie said.

  “It’s only tea. I think you should go with Bernard,” Ketty said. “I’m going to drink mine then head back to the ship. I’ve had enough excitement for one day.” Ketty took in the prevaricating look on Josie’s face. “I think you two should have more of a look around…on your own.”

  “It really is important, Josie,” Bernard said.

  She glanced from him back to Ketty. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Perfectly,” Ketty said. “I’m even going to eat this tart now. I’ll see you at dinner.” She waved them away and settled back in her chair. The prickling feeling had passed and she felt a sense of peace she hadn’t realised had been missing since – she put her head to one side revelling in the lightness she felt at that moment – since she’d stepped aboard the Diamond Duchess.

  She would always hold her child in her heart but the part of her that had ached for Leo was finally healed of its pain. That was a surprising result of meeting him again after all these years. Even though she’d been hurt by him she’d still kept their love on a kind of pedestal that no other man had ever lived up to. Now she was released from that memory. She didn’t love Leo, nor did she hate him. There was no real feeling at all now for the man who had once been the centre of her world. It was a surprise to realise she had perhaps wasted other opportunities because of it. She’d fallen for a few men since Leo. Now she knew it was quite likely more her fault those relationships had not come to anything more. A small wave of regret swept her but just as quickly she shook it off. No point in pondering things from the past she couldn’t change.

  Ketty picked up the teapot and poured, then closed her eyes, savouring the aromatic smell of the tea. Every day was a new beginning and today marked a fresh new year of her life. She straightened her shoulders, took up the little cake fork and broke off a piece of the strawberry tart.

  “Happy birthday to me,” she muttered under her breath and slipped the morsel into her mouth.

  Thirty-one

  “That was the most amazing experience.” Celia lifted her hand to wave to Captain Enzo then turned to walk beside Jim along the little jetty. Her skin felt tight from the sun and the salt but she still revelled in the exhilaration she’d felt as they’d skipped across the ocean on the catamaran. “I can’t believe how much I enjoyed it.”

  “Are you sure that wasn’t because of Captain Enzo?” Jim gave her a soft poke in the ribs with his elbow.

  “No.” She responded a little too emphatically and a girlish giggle escaped her lips. “Although he certainly was charming.” She paused and glanced away out over the bay. Captain Enzo had been entertaining but it was Jim who’d topped the day. She’d seen a whole new side of him. On the water he’d been self-assured, at ease and had taken delight in everything – and from his manner, that included her. She’d been careful to keep her own feelings for him hidden but now… “It was you who made it special, Jim.”

  “Me?”

  They’d reached the end of the jetty and Jim stopped. Celia did too. She put down her bag and studied him.

  “If you hadn’t convinced me to go in the water again I wouldn’t have swum with the turtles. Weren’t they amazing creatures? And the dolphins! And not a sea snake in sight.” She grinned, covering the fact that she had still been anxiously looking for them every time she went into the water. “And then on the way back when it got windy and I was feeling a bit nervous, you were so reassuring about everything and explaining what Enzo was doing. It was like we were flying over the water. I loved it.”

  Jim glanced back along the jetty. “It’s quite a while since I’ve been out. Sailing used to give me a lot of pleasure.”

  “You should take it up again. It seems like an invigorating pastime.”

  He didn’t say anything more but his look was reflective. Celia picked up her bag and they set off towards the market hall where they were to catch the bus back to the ship. “Do you have enough energy for a quick look at the souvenirs?”

  “Sure.” His smile was warm.

  They went inside and wandered between the stalls. Celia sensed a calmness about Jim she’d only glimpsed before. He’d been so kind, coaxing her into the water and staying with her so she’d felt truly safe. He’d relished the sailing part of the day, full of questions about local conditions for Captain Enzo who let him help with some of the sail work.

  “What do you think of this?” Jim picked up a funny little turtle from the souvenir stall.

  Celia laughed. “Very cute.” It had a wobbling head and New Caledonia printed on its back. He jiggled it and she laughed again then stopped when she realised he was watching her intently. Just for a few hours she’d forgotten he was a grieving widower. She thought perhaps he had too.

  “Do you have someone in mind for that?” she asked.

  “I do actually.” He took out his wallet and paid for the turtle but said no more. They strolled on past more stalls and Celia made several purchases.

  After one final look she raised her hand in which she clutched several small shopping bags. “I’ve beaten you in the souvenir stakes.”

  “I did my shopping in Port Vila.”

  “What did you get?”

  “A pearl necklace for my daughter, Tamara, and a bottle of Glenfiddich whisky for my son, Anthony.”

  “That’s so thoughtful, Jim. My sons are only getting t-shirts.” She jiggled her bag again. “And a pack of cards from the s
hip. Wish I’d thought to buy booze. They’d probably have liked that more.”

  Jim looked around. “I wouldn’t mind an ice cream. Would you like one?”

  “I would, but you know I think I’d rather have it on the ship. I can take my shoes off and sit back on one of those sun lounges and eat it.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  Christine and Frank sat side by side on a bench in the leafy park in the centre of Noumea. They’d made use of the free town wi-fi and facetimed the kids. It was late afternoon and the clouds were building, trapping the heat and lifting the air temperature. Christine’s hair was damp against the back of her neck and little dribbles of perspiration ran down her cheeks and between her breasts. She marvelled at Frank’s cool appearance. The heat didn’t bother him at all.

  “Do you think the kids looked okay?” She patted at her neck with a tissue.

  “Fine.”

  “I thought Anna was a bit quiet.”

  “They were both full of what they’d been up to. Lucca is louder that’s all.” Frank took the iPad from her. “Only a couple of days and we’ll be home. You can bet they’ll be more interested in the truckload of souvenirs we’ve bought them than they will be in seeing us.”

  Christine’s thoughts slipped from her children back to Ketty. The exchange she’d had with her that morning at the coffee shop on the ship still smarted. It had been gratifying to overhear the conversation at the patisserie and discover the older woman wasn’t so perfect as she made out.

  “Fancy Ketty having an affair with Leo when he was married.”

  “Let it go, Chrissie. We weren’t meant to hear about it.”

  “Well, we did. She acts so superior as if she’s perfect and she’s not at all.” Christine pouted at Frank. “Do you know she lectured me this morning?”

  He gave a snort. “I can’t imagine sweet Ketty lecturing anybody.”

  “Sweet Ketty, my eye. She has everyone fooled but not me.”

  “Let it go, Chrissie.” Frank looked back at the iPad on his lap.

  Her gaze drifted over the grassy park to the statues and then to the buildings across the road. She was glad she’d convinced Frank to have cake and coffee in that little patisserie. They’d actually talked without arguing. Christine had been on her best behaviour and Frank had responded, easy to get along with as he usually was. At first she’d been annoyed when she’d realised who had taken over the table behind her. When she hadn’t heard her father’s voice she’d been happy. Perhaps he’d given Josie the flick as she’d hoped, but the icing on the cake had been the conversation about Ketty and Leo’s affair.