‘When you don’t look at me for days at a time!’ I shouted. ‘When you don’t talk to me. When you make decisions without consulting me! When you walk around here acting like I don’t exist! When you spend days not even thinking about me.’
He scraped his hands through his hair, then flung them down by his sides. ‘Sophie, I’m always thinking about you! Don’t you get that?’ He took another step, frustration tripping through his voice. ‘I can’t do anything but think about you. I spend all my time worrying about your safety, whether you’re happy, whether you’re healing, and you’re standing here asking me to throw you back into the fire!’
His words slapped the retort right out of my mouth. I just hovered there, marbled in my surprise as he stood in front of me, waiting for his breathing to slow.
He came a little closer, and I stayed still, wanting him to explain. He took his switchblade out, brandished the handle between us, his name scrawled on top. A piece of paper came with it, upheaved from his pocket.
‘I gave you my knife,’ he said, as I caught the paper fluttering to the floor. ‘I gave you the most important thing I own.’
I held the paper between us like a white flag. ‘What’s this?’
‘Oh,’ he said, frowning at his pocket. He stowed the knife away, his voice falling quiet. ‘That.’
I unfolded it slowly, waiting for him to stop me. He didn’t.
It was a note.
It was my note.
From a million years ago.
Aren’t you glad I have no respect for your authority?☺
I held it between us and stared at it, my fingers shaking.
‘I’m always thinking about you,’ he said, his voice resigned.
‘I’m just trying to make it right, Soph.’
I looked up at him. ‘You kept my note?’
‘Yeah. I did.’
I could sense he was embarrassed, so I folded the note up and handed it back to him. He slipped it into his wallet and stashed it in the back of his jeans. I didn’t want to argue with him any more, about this, about anything. He was too important to me. I just wanted to see him smile and hear him laugh. I just wanted to be near him. When I was around Luca, my heart opened a crack, and I became less afraid of my true feelings. Sometimes people pretend they’re listening, but really they’re waiting for a gap in conversation to say something about themselves, or until you are finished talking about your sadness so they can move on to brighter topics. Luca really listened to me. He really cared.
‘I don’t want to fight with you,’ I said.
‘I don’t want to fight with you either.’
I made the mistake of trying to hold his gaze. It shot right through me, into my heart.
‘Truce?’ I said, my voice ragged with a sudden flare of desire.
‘Truce.’
‘You know, you’re very confusing, Luca,’ I said softly. ‘I feel like I need a cheat sheet sometimes. I never know what you’re thinking or what you want.’
The whisper of a smile spread across his lips. A beat of silence, and then he came a little closer. ‘Do you want to know what I want, Sophie?’
I nodded. ‘Yes.’
‘I want to kiss you.’
I swallowed hard. ‘Then why don’t you?’
He didn’t move. ‘Because I’m not supposed to.’
I hesitated a beat too long, distracted by the raucous thudding in my chest. He straightened up, as if remembering himself, and took a step away from me. Then another one. He regained his composure, wiped the look of indecision from his face, and cleared his throat.
I came towards him. ‘You think too much, Luca.’
‘Yes,’ he said.
‘You’re used to making all the decisions.’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, there’s two of us in this, you know.’
‘Yes.’
‘Then I’ll decide.’ A rush of desire seized me, and before I could stop myself, I was grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him towards me. He responded instantly, wrapping his arms around my waist, his body curving against mine as he walked me backwards with him.
‘Yes.’ He spun me into the alcove halfway down the hall, his hand pressing against the small of my back, the other grabbing the back of my head. He crushed his lips to mine and I opened my mouth to let him in, and when his tongue brushed against mine, I could taste his need as keenly as my own. He ran his fingers through my hair, pulling me tighter against him. I wound my hands around his neck, ignoring the flicker of pain in my shoulder and pushing up on to my tiptoes so I could taste every part of him, so I could feel how much he wanted me.
He pulled back, panting, his fingers tracing my lips as he caught his breath. Our foreheads were pressed together. I smiled beneath his touch and he kissed the corner of my mouth.
‘More,’ I whispered.
A groan caught in his throat. ‘More,’ he said, pressing his lips to mine. The entire concept of time was obliterated as we stood moulded to each other inside that alcove, kissing and gasping for breath. I forgot where I was, and with every press of his tongue on mine, the darkness inside me seemed to shatter, just a little.
After what seemed like an eternity, but not nearly long enough, I pulled my lips from his. I touched my nose against him. ‘See what happens when you don’t overthink?’ I said softly, my fingertips still lost in his hair.
He moved his palm against my neck, his thumb caressing the sensitive spot behind my ear. ‘I could do this for ever,’ he murmured. He pressed his lips against mine, warm and lingering, before drawing back again to look at me. ‘I can barely remember my own name.’
I smiled against him. ‘We should probably go before someone finds us.’
‘You’re right,’ he said, kissing me again. ‘But you taste so good.’
‘And you smell amazing.’ The truth was I never wanted to move from that alcove. The bubble we were in was perfect – it was full of fire and adrenalin and giddy joy.
‘Just six more,’ he said, smiling as he kissed me several more times in quick succession.
I could not take my hands off him. It’s like we had started something that neither of us could pull away from. Self-control be damned – I couldn’t remember a time when I had had any.
‘Three more,’ I said, pulling him against me again. He yielded willingly, laughing as he opened his mouth to mine.
When the shout shattered the silence, I thought someone had been shot, or at the very least that the person who’d shouted wasn’t standing so impossibly close to us. I reeled backwards, a gasp sticking in my throat, as Luca spun around. The blow landed against his right cheek and he slammed backwards, his head smashing against the wall.
Nic grabbed Luca by the collar and yanked him out of the alcove, his shouts turning to a violent string of curses as he launched himself at his brother. I shot out after them, almost crashing into Dom and Gino who had been following behind Nic. Their coats were still fastened and they were staring bug-eyed at their brothers, bewilderment screwing up their faces. They had all come home together, and Luca and I had been so wrapped up in each other that we hadn’t heard a thing.
Luca ducked out of Nic’s next punch and backed into the foyer, his hands raised at his brother. ‘Calm down, Nicoli.’
Nic charged at him like a bull, slamming into Luca’s torso and carrying them both against the far bannister. Gino, Dom and I followed them, their shouts joining with mine. Valentino was in the foyer. He was still wearing his coat, but his face was twisted up in horror as he took in the scene.
Nic lunged at Luca again, but missed, his fist cracking into the wall. His scream was primal.
‘Stop them!’ I yelled at Valentino. ‘Make them stop!’
‘I can’t,’ he said, exasperated. ‘Look at them.’
I turned to Dom and Gino. ‘Break them up, before one of them gets seriously hurt.’
‘What the hell happened?’ asked Dom. ‘What’s going on?’
Felice came in th
rough the front door, slamming it behind him. He was wearing a purple scarf, the collar of his black trench coat flicked upwards. He stopped mid-stride, his mouth agape, as Luca kicked Nic in the back of his knee, momentarily immobilizing him.
Nic fell to the ground, grabbing at Luca’s ankle. Luca lost his footing and collapsed on to Nic, and they began brawling again.
‘Dom,’ I said, tugging him by the arm. ‘Please. Break them up.’
‘What’s it about?’ he said, circling the huddle. ‘I need to know whose side I’m on first.’
Crap. I didn’t want him to jump in against Luca too. And he would if he knew why Nic was so angry.
Valentino fired his gun in the air.
The resounding crack shocked everyone into stillness.
Luca and Nic fell apart from each other.
‘My ceiling!’ Felice shrieked.
‘Have you lost your mind, Valentino?’
‘Calmati,’ Valentino cautioned. ‘It was getting out of hand.’
Felice was examining the new hole in his ceiling. He looked like he was about to cry.
Valentino was examining Luca and Nic. The boys hadn’t done any real damage to one another … yet. Luca’s lip was bleeding. Nic’s chin was turning a vicious shade of purple.
‘It’s over,’ Valentino told them. ‘Whatever it is, it’s over.’
Luca raised his hands. ‘Sorry,’ he said, looking genuinely ashamed of himself.
‘No!’ Nic hissed, snapping out of his sudden stillness. He whirled around, his finger jabbing at Luca’s chest. ‘Ti dovrei fare a pezzi, traditore!’
‘Oh my,’ said Felice, his attention refocusing on the boys. He looked like he was tasting something particularly delicious.
‘Restrain yourself, Nicoli!’ Valentino warned. ‘You’ve lost your head.’
‘Why the hell does Nic want to slit your throat, Luca?’ asked Dom.
Luca raked his hand through his hair, trying to compose himself. ‘It’s between Nicoli and me.’
‘And Sophie,’ said Nic, casting me a look so full of venomous hatred that I felt for a moment like I was shrinking.
‘Ah,’ said Valentino. He rolled his shoulders back. ‘I see.’
‘What do you see?’ asked Gino. ‘I don’t see anything.’
My cheeks were burning up. I should say something. What should I say? What would make it better?
‘You’re messed up,’ Nic spat at Luca. ‘You talk about love and honour, you tell us to pour all of our time and efforts into la famiglia, to forget any other pursuits that might split our attention … You tell us to remain loyal to one another at all costs, and then you do this right under my nose! How long, Luca? How long have you been betraying me?’
‘Nic,’ I said, trying to wade in. ‘It’s not like that.’ I could feel Valentino’s glare on my back.
‘I haven’t been betraying you,’ Luca said carefully.
‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ Nic shouted. ‘What the hell do you call sticking your tongue down her throat?’ He pointed to the alcove. ‘What did I just walk in on?’
‘Ooooh,’ said Dom, finally getting it. He smiled lecherously at me. ‘Bad Sophie. Very bad.’
I returned my middle finger.
‘Che sorpresa!’ Felice chuckled. No one else was sharing in his amusement.
‘Just calm down,’ said Luca. ‘We’ll talk about this somewhere else in private, just us.’
‘No!’ Nic roared. ‘You don’t deserve privacy. You’ve obviously had it long enough. I want to know what sick game you’re playing here. I want to know why you’re trying to punish me!’
‘I’m not playing any game,’ Luca protested, the heat rising in his voice too. ‘I’m not trying to punish you!’
‘Bullshit!’ Nic snapped. ‘I know you’re angry at me! You’re mad because I’m teaching her how to defend herself. You’re mad because I won’t do what you tell me to, because I won’t wrap her up and force her to stay away from her destiny!’
‘Stop,’ warned Luca.
‘Newsflash,’ said Nic, coming towards his brother again, his voice rising. ‘She doesn’t want a fucking shield, she wants a sword, so I gave her the sword, and it cuts you up. It makes you feel small and ignored, because we’re not listening to you, because for once, we’re not falling under your instruction and you can’t control us—’
‘I mean it, Nicoli.’ Luca was seething, his features turning feral. He was dangerous like this; he was unpredictable, and everyone knew it. ‘Sophie doesn’t belong to you. She doesn’t belong to anyone.’
Nic wouldn’t relent. ‘You’re mad because you have no control over what will happen. You feel small and pathetic, and you should! You couldn’t handle not having all the power. You wanted to take it from me. You wanted to take her from me! You wanted to win!’
I waded in between them. ‘Stop!’ I shouted. ‘This isn’t some stupid power game, Nic. He’s not using me!’
Nic turned on me, his eyes flashing. ‘He’s using you to get to me.’
‘You and I aren’t together,’ I said, exasperated beyond words. ‘We’re over. We’ve been over for a while.’
‘I was going to win you back,’ Nic said, pushing his temper towards me like a storm cloud. ‘But he took that chance away!’
Enough. I had had enough of Nic treating me like some kind of trophy. I had had enough of him treating my desires and opinions like transitory thoughts that could be changed and manipulated at his leisure.
‘I kissed him!’ I shouted. ‘I wanted it!’
He levelled me with a dark look. ‘I know him better than you, Sophie. Don’t be an idiot. Get out of my way,’ he hissed. ‘I want him to admit it.’
He shoved me aside and stalked towards Luca. Dom and Gino moved in beside Nic, a cautionary hand on each of his shoulders, holding him back.
Luca stood stock-still, unblinking, as he raised his finger at his brother. ‘Touch her like that again, and I’ll end you.’
‘Admit it,’ Nic spat, ignoring the threat. ‘Admit that you kissed her to get back at me. Admit that you wanted to teach me a lesson! You selfish son of a bitch!’
Luca bared his teeth at Nic. ‘Shut your mouth, Nicoli.’
‘No!’ Nic screamed.
‘Fine!’ Luca shouted, coming right up to Nic’s face, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. ‘You want the truth?’
‘Yes!’ Nic yelled, refusing to budge. ‘Give me the fucking truth!’
‘Here it is!’ Luca said. ‘I didn’t kiss Sophie to get back at you, I kissed her because I’m in love with her!’
Nic reeled backwards, as though the blow had been physical.
Gino and Dom gasped in unison.
My jaw unhinged.
Valentino buried his face in his hands and groaned.
And Felice threw his head back and laughed.
CHAPTER THIRTY
PLEA
Ikissed her because I’m in love with her.
I kissed her because I’m in love with her.
I kissed her because I’m in love with her.
I was trying very hard to keep the smile from my lips, to keep my eyes downcast. My heart felt like it had swollen to twice its size, and all I could do was stand there and try not to get lost in the commotion.
Luca loved me. Luca was in love with me.
Nic was gaping at him, like he was trying to assemble a puzzle on his brother’s forehead. Dom and Gino had fallen still – even Dom had shut his mouth. They were waiting for Luca to break, for the joke to be revealed.
After a few more loaded breaths, Nic spluttered into life again. ‘No,’ he said. ‘I don’t believe you.’
‘It’s true,’ Luca said.
‘Since when?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘How?’ said Nic.
Luca’s smile was rueful, the guilt of the revelation tinged in his words. ‘You of all people should be able to answer that, brother.’
Nic screwed his face up. ‘But you
used to find her so annoying.’
‘I still find her annoying.’
Nic narrowed his eyes. ‘You don’t deserve her.’
‘I know.’ Luca tilted his head, just a little, and it was as though I could read the rest of his response in the careful lift of his brow. Neither do you.
‘Bravissimo, boys.’ Felice clapped his hands together. ‘The blood of betrayal runs deep here at Evelina. I can’t say I’m surprised, given the DNA you all share. Now, a word from our female protagonist, Persephone, perhaps?’ He swivelled around to me, his face a mask of glee. ‘Do you, Persephone, in fact, love Gianluca or will you remain loyal to our beloved Nicoli, the one who has been so selflessly training you for your revenge, probably under the impression that he was winning you back? Just how deep does your deception run in this little charade?’
Felice was threading a line of guilt right into my soul. I had known my feelings for Luca would hurt Nic if they ever got out, but I hadn’t thought about it so starkly – at least not like that. I hadn’t really been thinking at all, just searching for that solace that I could get from Luca’s kiss, from his skin against mine, his breath against my ear … I looked to Luca, searchingly, but he was facing away, grinding his jaw. He would not play into Felice’s spectacle.
‘Can you show some respect?’ I hissed at Felice. ‘Clearly this isn’t funny, and it’s got nothing to do with you either.’
I was losing my footing – caught between wanting to respond directly to Luca, and wanting to run a million miles from the roomful of Falcone spectators.
‘What’s that, Persephone?’ said, Felice, wearing his classic expression of faux surprise. ‘Or should I start calling you Marilyn?’
‘What?’
‘Marilyn Monroe.’ He licked his lips. ‘I believe she slept with both Kennedy brothers, yes? And what happened to her then … ?’ He trailed off, tapping his chin.
‘She committed suicide,’ Gino said.
‘Nah. That’s what they want you to think. She was definitely murdered,’ Dom supplied.
‘Was she?’ Felice leered at me.
‘Enough!’ snapped Valentino.
‘Valentino!’ said Felice, shocked.
‘You cannot end a soap opera midway through. I want to watch the finale.’
Mafiosa (Blood for Blood #3) Page 20