The Renegade

by Amy Dunne

  “I don’t want to make things difficult for you. Please, just put them anywhere you like.”

  Tanya nibbled her bottom lip before shaking her head. “I think you need to take a look. Here,” she said, walking up to the cubicle and offering out the clothes.

  There was only one item of clothing. A dress. Not just any dress either, a china blue and white patterned ensemble that must have come from Claire’s personal wardrobe. “No fucking way,” she said under her breath. Her stomach knotted with anger. This was a deliberate ploy to make her look ridiculous and humiliate her.

  “I’m so sorry,” Tanya said in a barrage of words. “When I saw it I knew it didn’t belong to you. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to talk to Evelyn, but David was in there and I could hear her shouting. I’m sorry.”

  Alex screwed up the dress as anger rolled through her in waves. She knew it wasn’t Tanya’s fault and made a concerted effort to reel in her seething temper. “I know this is a lot to ask, especially as we don’t know each other. But could you please take this and go try to speak to Evelyn again. Explain what’s happened. I’m hoping she might be able to lend me something to wear. If not, I’m wearing this frigging towel to the welcoming service.”

  Tanya accepted the screwed-up dress. “I’ll try.”

  “Thank you,” Alex said, trying to convey her appreciation. This was a big deal for them both. Tanya looked like she might burst into tears at any moment, and Alex helplessly watched as she flittered from the room.

  Goose bumps prickled at her skin. Now that the steam had dissipated, the shower room had dropped in temperature. Not even her anger was enough to distract from the cold. How could Claire and David be so callous? She hadn’t done anything to warrant such ridicule. She had to hope Tanya succeeded in speaking to Evelyn, although now she was a bit calmer, she was concerned about what David and Evelyn were arguing about. For Evelyn to raise her voice it must be serious. And although it sounded a little self-obsessed, she couldn’t shake the feeling their disagreement probably had something to do with her.

  Time dragged. Her hair dried quickly, and as she ran her fingers through it she realised how much it had grown. Claire, David, and Elijah would probably expect her to let it grow to conform to their dodgy sexist standards. “Not going to happen,” she said, her voice reverberating off the empty stalls. She’d look how she wanted—screw what anyone else thought.

  The sound of quickened footsteps made her peer cautiously from behind the curtain. Tanya rushed up to her, out of breath from running.

  “Did you manage to speak to Evelyn?” Alex asked.

  Tanya nodded and presented an armful of clothing. “She kept the dress. She told me to choose anything from her room. I got a few things from my room, too. When I arrived here they gave me some clothes that were big—not that I’m saying you’re big, I’m sorry, I just meant that you’re taller and more muscular than I am.”

  “Thank you,” Alex said, genuinely touched by the act of defiance. “May I?”

  “Sure.” Tanya handed over the clothes and turned away, giving Alex privacy. “You haven’t got long. Everything’s nearly ready for the service.”

  Alex was relieved to see a pair of pink socks and black briefs. She slipped them on. A white bra lay nestled within layers of clothing, but from looking at it Alex knew it was far too big. She doubted it was Tanya’s, so that meant it was Evelyn’s. She was grateful for the offer, but couldn’t bring herself to even try it. Her breasts were small, and providing she wore layers, she’d be comfortable without anything.

  She riffled through the remaining items and chose a pair of women’s jeans, which were a strange fit compared to the men’s trousers she was used to wearing. The material clung to her waist and hips, and was only looser from her knees down. She chose a blue strap top, a white T-shirt, and finally a dark blue hooded jumper. The jeans were a quarter of an inch too short, but anything was better than the dress. She stepped out of the shower cubicle and straight into a puddle. Water seeped through the hot pink socks. “So do I look as ridiculous as I feel?”

  Tanya turned around, looked Alex up and down, and smiled. “You look great considering I didn’t know your sizes.”

  Alex scooped up the unused clothes. “Anything is preferable in comparison to that dress.”

  “Oh, no. I didn’t think about shoes. I’m sorry,” Tanya said, mortified, as she stared at Alex’s damp feet.

  “It’s fine. I was hoping the old witch might have left my boots, but apparently not.” She wriggled her toes. “They’ll dry in no time. Thank you for these.” She handed back the armful of unused clothing. “Just let me know what’s yours and I’ll get them back to you as soon as I get my own clothes back.”

  “There’s no rush. Like I said, they don’t fit me anyway.” Tanya shrugged, looking uncomfortable again.

  “I’d better see the damage.” Alex squelched over to a mirror and inspected her reflection. She looked awful. The jeans were unflatteringly short and didn’t allow for the same unrestricted movement she was used to. The jumper was okay, except because it was tight fitted, it hinted at cleavage. Her hair looked unruly.

  It was bizarre how clothing had the power to physically change someone. Days ago, she had looked like a lad in his early twenties. Now she looked like a muscular woman with short hair dressed in ill-fitting clothes. This reflection didn’t match who she was as a person. And it hurt more than she cared to admit.

  “I have a pair of trainers in my room. Will a size six do?” Tanya asked.

  “Yeah, they’ll be a squeeze, but anything’s better than nothing.”

  “I’ll go fetch them.” Tanya offered another weak smile before sprinting from the room.

  “I’ll just wait here,” Alex said to the empty room. “Looking like a prize idiot.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Alex sat on an antique wooden bench outside the room where the rest of the community was gathered. Only Scott remained, guarding her. He was more infuriatingly chipper than usual, humming and tapping his booted feet, oblivious to the evil looks she shot at him. His weapon was flung haplessly over his shoulder.

  “Not long to go now, miss,” he said.

  “We’ve been through this. Please, call me Alex. Okay?”

  “Sure thing, miss—I mean, Alex.” He blushed. “Are you excited?”

  “Excited isn’t the word I’d use.”

  “Oh. What word would you use?” he asked conversationally.

  Scared. Furious. Trepidatious. Sick—take your pick, any and all of them would work.

  Alex shifted, trying to prevent the briefs from riding up any higher. “Nervous.”

  “There’s no need to be nervous. You’re going to be fine. Everyone’s going to get to know you. You’ll love it here.”

  “How’s Paddy doing?” Alex asked, changing the subject and keen to hear news. She’d asked David if she could see him but he’d ignored the request. She missed him to such an extreme that pain flared in her chest.

  “He’s great, miss. He’s got a bigger appetite than me, and that’s saying something. He’s grown big, too. Over the last few days, he’s shot up past my knees. And he loves the kids, chases them and rounds them up. He can play fetch. And I’ve even taught him to sit.”

  Tears bristled in Alex’s eyes, threatening to spill. She couldn’t bear to hear anymore. “Do you think I’ll be able to see him after this?”

  “Sure. I’ll go get him straight away. He’s really missed you.”

  Alex nodded and struggled to swallow. “Thanks.”

  One of the impressive double doors burst open. Scott stood straight, fumbling to grasp his weapon. Alex looked over her shoulder, her pulse quickening. Claire stepped out.

  “It’s time. Come with me.”

  Alex stood. The trainers pinched her toes and rubbed against her heel. Without another word, Claire spun and walked back through the doorway.

  “Go on,” Scott whispered from behind her. “You’ll do great.”
>
  Alex didn’t reply. She wet her cracked lips, held a deep breath, and summoned the courage to walk across the threshold. In the old world, the room must have been a ballroom or a banquet hall. The marble floor spread out before her and wood panelling covered all of the walls. Wooden beams crisscrossed the ceiling, and an enormous fireplace flanked the left side. Two ornate windows were at the furthest end of the room. Light spilled through and offered a scenic view of a grassy verge that led on to what looked like a shooting range with targets. Plastic chairs stood in rows of four, creating an aisle in the centre. Standing at the front, with sunbeams radiating from behind him, was Elijah, smiling brashly, his arms held out in Alex’s direction. He wore a clean set of normal clothes, his wooden crucifix draped through the fingers of his right hand.

  “Welcome, Alexandra,” he said, sounding both pompous and self-righteous. “Please join me at the front.”

  Alexandra? She hadn’t told Elijah her full name. The only person who knew it except for Murphy was David. She’d specifically mentioned that she preferred to be called Alex, but as the dress incident had shown, what she wanted didn’t mean a damn thing in this place.

  Alex made her way up the aisle, concentrating on not tripping. Her heart thumped in her chest, and her palms were slick with sweat. As she glanced around she noticed three unusual, disconcerting things: the women and men were divided on each side, there were significantly more men than women, and everyone in the room—indeed, everyone she’d seen in this place so far—was Caucasian. This struck her as odd.

  Evelyn stood a few rows ahead and looked unhappy. Their eyes met for an instant before Evelyn looked down at the floor, her expression solemn. One of her hands rested on a little girl’s shoulder. The girl looked up and smiled brightly at Alex as she swished her pink dress from side to side.

  Why was Evelyn here? She’d intended to stay with Murphy. Had she changed her mind? That didn’t seem like her. Someone must have changed it for her.

  But what about Murphy?

  What if something happened while Evelyn was gone?

  She had to quell her fear before it spiralled out of control. The quicker this charade was over with, the quicker Evelyn could get back to Murphy.

  Tanya stood in the row in front of Evelyn and also looked unhappy. On the opposite side of the aisle, Alex spotted Joe. His brow was knitted with a deep-set frown, and he seemed to be the only person who wasn’t watching her. His gaze focused solely on Elijah. Jamie stood beside Joe and offered a small smile.

  Alex passed a few people she hadn’t met before, and on the very first row stood Phil, Bob, and Claire. It took a moment for Alex to recognise the person beside Claire. Gemma, standing with her head hung low, hair covering her face, arms wrapped protectively around herself. The last thing Alex noted before she reached Elijah was that David wasn’t present. Her anxiety spiked.

  “Everyone, be seated,” Elijah said, with a small bow of his head.

  Once they were all seated, silence descended, and Elijah reached out and took hold of Alex’s hand. Instinct made her pull away, but Elijah didn’t hesitate in tightening his grip to the point of causing pain. Hiding her revulsion, Alex let her arm go limp. It worked. His grip relaxed.

  “Today is a special occasion,” Elijah said, his gaze firmly focused on the people in front of him. “Alexandra has asked to join our community. With our Lord God’s love and wisdom, she has seen the importance of his ultimate plan. She will pledge her allegiance and love to us all. She will become a valued member of this community and help us thrive. Together, we will do our Lord God’s bidding. We are his chosen people. We will go on to secure the future of mankind. That is our purpose. That is his will.”

  Alex could feel all of the eyes scrutinising her and tried hard to mask her feelings. Elijah clearly had issues, but she hadn’t realised to what extent or how much religion played a part in his delusions until now.

  “In recent weeks, we’ve seen firsthand the danger outsiders pose. They didn’t hesitate to try and kill Alexandra’s companion when he attempted to rescue one of our own. They came here, they had the audacity to break into our home while we slept. They got past our defences and kidnapped one of our youngest and most vulnerable women.”

  There was a shift as people fidgeted to look over at Gemma. Her head remained lowered, shielded in her hands.

  “We’re fortunate that they stopped at taking just one of us. The damage they could have inflicted upon us is unfathomable. Our Lord God protected us that night. We must never take his love and protection for granted again. We must never allow ourselves to become vulnerable again. We’ve tripled our efforts to secure our home and protect ourselves. But even with increased security, we remain at a disadvantage. They know where we are. They know we have food, shelter, weapons, medical supplies, and above everything else, each other. Until the men come back to aid us in our plight we must all remain vigilant. We will be proactive, not reactive. At the first sign of danger, we mustn’t hesitate to defend ourselves. Our Lord God has told me that we will face danger and hardship in the very near future, but if we remain strong and united, we will defeat those who seek to destroy what we have worked so hard to build.”

  “Praise to our Lord God,” Claire said shrilly, her hands flying in the air. Others joined in with similar statements, and a chill tingled down Alex’s spine.

  “There’s nothing I won’t do to defend you. You’re my family. I love you. Our Lord God loves you, and it’s not a coincidence that we found one another. It’s his plan. While so many died, he ensured we survived. We are his chosen people. We will rule his earth in the way he intends. No sin. No depravity. No evil. We have learnt from the mistakes of our ancestors, and we are all that remains. His plan will save us all.”

  “Amen!” said Bob.

  Alex glanced around and saw that only Tanya, Evelyn, Gemma, and Joe had not joined in. The atmosphere built, energy and emotions swirling into a frenzy. The more people shouted and praised, the more Elijah stoked their passion and egos. His words promised they were special—the salvation of the human race. His tone, choice of words, and actions played perfectly for his audience. Some people stood and others knelt on the cold marble floor. Elijah’s sermon reminded Alex of the money-grubbing, manipulative TV preachers, or worse still, the incoherent ramblings of a deranged cult leader. So many of them believed, it was scary. A darker thought struck. The xenophobia and not-so-subtle hint of white supremacy invoked a more sinister comparison: Hitler.

  A sound at the back of the room momentarily drew everyone’s attention. David walked down the aisle, gave a curt nod to Elijah, aimed a disinterested look at Alex, and sat beside Gemma. She shrank away from him.

  “Will you love and serve your Lord God and do as he asks?” Elijah asked.

  “We will,” said most of the congregation. Their answer was passionate but also rehearsed.

  “Will you protect our community at all costs?”

  “We will.”

  “Will you sacrifice your own life for the rest of our community?”

  “We will.”

  “Will you swear your allegiance to this community and do what is asked of you?”

  “We will.”

  “May our Lord God love and protect you for all the days of your life. May he bless our community and bestow upon us the precious gift of new life, to ensure the future of us, his chosen people.”

  “Amen!”

  Alex needed to get out. Everyone here was bat-shit crazy. She tried to pull her arm away, but his strength was incredible. She stared at him. His head and face dripped with sweat, his eyes wide, his breathing laboured as he revelled in his audience’s adoration.

  “Now it’s time to welcome Alexandra into our fold,” Elijah said, blotting his forehead with the sleeve of his jumper. The room descended into eerie silence. “Alexandra, please kneel.”

  Before she’d time to register his request, she was yanked forward onto her knees. With a painful squeeze of his hand, Elijah smiled s
avagely. “You’ve been led to us by our Lord God. His plan is for you to join us and play your part in aiding the survival of this community. But our Lord God respects the gift of free will. He bestowed it to all of us, and it separates us from the beasts. Do you willingly and of your own free accord choose to join our community?”

  Alex gulped. She could see Evelyn from the corner of her eye. Evelyn gave a tiny nod, as if trying to encourage Alex.

  “Alexandra?”

  “I…do,” Alex said, stammering with her dry mouth.

  “Do you pledge your love, servitude, and allegiance to this community and our Lord God?”

  “Yes.” The words felt foreign in her mouth. She fought the urge not to gag.

  “Will you do our Lord’s work without question?”

  “Yes.” Acidic bile scorched the back of her throat, causing tears to brim.

  “Will you put the needs of our community, above your own?”

  “Yes.”

  “And protect this community, at all costs.”

  Alex coughed.

  “Alexandra?”

  “Yes,” Alex said, hating herself for being so weak.

  “Finally, let this warning be clear. Once you join us, you’re entering into a commitment for the remainder of your life on this earth. Your servitude, sacrifice, and love will be rewarded for eternity in the next life. We will share our love, food, shelter, protection, future, and community with you. All that is ours will be yours. In return, you pledge your unwavering allegiance. You promise to follow and live by our rules and moral codes. Breaking our rules, codes, or forgoing your responsibilities would be considered a heinous crime, worthy of the most severe of punishments decided by our Lord God.”

  Alex swiped at a renegade tear. As soon as Murphy was up to it, she was getting out of this hellhole.

  “Do you agree to the terms, Alexandra?” Elijah asked.

  The silence was overwhelming. What was she doing? Why was she going through with this bullshit?

  Murphy.

  His survival was the reason why.