The Demons We See

by Krista D. Ball

  Her hand shook, and she curled a tight fist in hopes to contain the tremors. Instead, her palm grew warm to the touch. She had not meant to get into a standoff with armed thugs. She had not mentally prepared herself for the aftershocks. She was now paying for those choices.

  She gritted her teeth, pushing down the after rush that always came with being mentally unprepared. Damn them all into the abyss! This was why she hid in her obscure country abbey away from court politics. This was why she rarely left the abbey. All of the education and wealth in the world could not protect her if she did not protect herself.

  And there she was, unprotected, in the middle of a damned room full of people.

  But what was she supposed to do? Hide? Let others get hurt, even possibly killed, because she refused to use her power and consequence? Why else be born into wealth and privilege if not to help?

  She stared at her hand and knew her title could only protect her so far. She’d pushed herself to the limits of what she could manage, and she had nearly exposed herself. If she did, she couldn’t help anyone.

  Damn them into the abyss; they were harassing an innocent mage. Little made her blood boil more than seeing one of her own kind tortured for no other reason than existing.

  Yet, what would they do if they discovered what kind of mage she actually was? No weaving simple spells into embroidery. No basic spells of protection or speeding healing. She could create fire and, if the world knew, she’d be drugged and beaten before being dragged off in shackles and chains, off to languish in a mine with the rest of her kind.

  Would Lieutenant Dodd still protect her with his life? Would Lieutenant Lex stand at her side, or would he use the opportunity to tackle her to the floor? What would Captain Rainier do? Would he have asked her gently to stand down, as a woman of rank, or would he have treated her like a drunken horse thief in a back alley?

  “Lord God Almighty, I am thankful you do not exist,” Allegra snarled, cupping her burning hand against her stomach. “Because if you did, I would despise you for this life!”

  Unable to hold back the magic inside her, Allegra thrust her hand at the fireplace. She sent all of her fears and anger out past her fingertips. Fire erupted and the controlled blast hit the wood in the fireplace. It blazed to life, the heat so intense her eyes watered in response.

  With the release, the flame on her hand died away. Allegra sagged against the bedpost, exhausted. She stared at her hand. It tingled, as it always did, but there was no other damage. She hadn’t caught her clothes on fire since she was a teenager. She knew her limits, and knew when she needed to relieve the tension.

  She focused on the fire she’d created. The wood in the fireplace cracked and popped, and blue flame flickered in the dark. She had been under undo stress from the journey, she told herself. Moments before the fight had broken out, she had been arguing with Captain Rainier. That had been a mistake. She should have not done that. She should have kept her mouth shut and…

  “Contessa?” It was the Captain, knocking gently at her door. “May I come in?”

  She didn’t answer. He had been the reason she’d lost her temper in the first place. She needed to calm herself just a moment longer and…

  “Contessa, please. Are you well?”

  Of course she wasn’t well! She had never been in the midst of a brawl before, and there were swords drawn. Actual swords! She wiped her sleeve across her forehead, mopping up the sweat. Her sleeve came back covered in soot.

  His voice was gentler. “Please, simply tell me you are well.”

  Her heart sank from guilt. He sounded genuinely worried. She was, after all, his charge and he was probably worried sick that she’d charged in the midst of a sword fight and was now hiding in her bedchamber like a frightened little girl.

  How she had humiliated herself. Allegra prided herself in being strong and fierce in the face of all adversity. She chided herself for having buckled under the pressure. There was no possible way she could become an arbiter of anything, least of all justice. She would have to shut herself away to survive that posting, more so than she already did.

  “Just…hold on,” she gasped out the words as she desperately searched for something to scrub her face with.

  In the end, she used the inside of her pelisse. She splashed water on her face and the silk lining of her coat was a relief against her flushed skin. She flipped the garment over on her bed, so that the stain would be unnoticeable. Allegra sucked in a couple of deep breaths before marching over to the door and unlocking it.

  “Hello, Captain,” she said, braving a smile.

  “The commotion is over, and the witch…the mage. I keep forgetting, I’m sorry. She’s in her room. Lex and the lady’s maid are sleeping in her room. Dodd and one of the servants from the tavern are sleeping just outside her door. The stable boy moved her carriage closer to ours, so that her footmen can guard the corridor. She’ll be safe tonight.” He smiled. “So, now I’m here to check on my charge.”

  Allegra’s smile was shaky, but she forced it out all the same. “Rattled, but well.”

  “May I come in? We still have an argument to finish.”

  “Oh. I’d forgotten.” Allegra glanced around, ensuring there was no evidence of losing her temper. The fireplace and her pelisse where the only things she could see. She shouldn’t let him in. She should tell him she was tired or her nerves were vexed, and leave it be.

  Allegra couldn’t force the refusal out, however, for she wanted him to join her. She wanted to resume normality as soon as possible. And, though she was loathed to admit it, she didn’t want to be alone, no matter how much she should be.

  “Ah, I am intruding. I apologize. I will leave you to your privacy.”

  “Wait,” Allegra said, not running the reply by her brain first. She sighed. “Company would do me good.”

  “I promise to be on my best gentlemanly behavior.”

  He walked into the room and she closed the door behind him. “If you don’t mind, what I need more than that is…simple conversation. No mages, no politics. Just the simple things.”

  “I can do that.” Rainier sat down in his chair. He glanced at the fire and asked, “Are you cold?”

  Allegra was fortunate to have been facing away when he asked the question. Her face didn’t betray her. She sucked in a deep breath and said, “I’m a fine lady, Captain. Servants think I’m always cold, even during the tail end of summer in the lowlands.” She faced him and smiled. “Rank comes with so many oppressions.”

  “Indeed it does,” he said. “Will you sit?”

  She nodded and they sat once more to drink their ales. Gone was the heat and passion for justice from before, however. Allegra was too exhausted. There was no way she could accept Francois’s offer. He’d not offered it seriously, in any case, and while her contrary nature ached to accept it out of spite, tonight was an indicator that she was not ready for the center dais of attention. Most likely, she would never be ready for it, and that was fine by her.

  “What is your favorite fruit pie?” the Captain asked.

  Allegra chuckled at his transparent attempt at non-controversial topics. “Blueberry and apple. And yours?”

  “I don’t know what it’s called in the south, but back home it’s called Duchess Anne’s pie. I think it’s apples, pears, raisins. Maybe figs? Then they add all of these spices to it and put in a buttery pastry, and bake it. It’s really quite good.”

  “I should ask the Abbey’s cook to make it for me sometime.”

  “You should,” Captain Rainier said with a gentle smile.

  She hated running scared. It irked her to hide, but her pride and reputation were small things to sacrifice in the face of the reality of a shortened life in the mines. Her hands were better used writing letters than channeling elemental powers to blast through rock for another man’s profit. So she would let this pass to another’s lot, and pray it was someone who was as capable as she knew she actually
was.

  Still, better hiding under a blanket than crushed to death under iron ore.

  Chapter 6

  The quiet evening with Captain Rainier, a full stomach, and a roaring fire stealing away the dampness of the room turned out to be just what the apothecary would have ordered. Allegra slept soundly, and woke with a renewed sense of vigor when Nadira knocked on the door, announcing it was time to rise.

  Allegra padded over to the locked door on her tip-toe, avoiding any splinters from the rough wooden floorboards. She opened the door and was greeted by a curt nod from her servant. Nadira thrust a steaming mug of tea at Allegra, who accepted it gratefully. The brown tea with cream and honey surprised her taste buds. She hadn’t expected that in a simple inn.

  As Allegra sipped, Nadira placed a small plate of cold ham, kippers, bread, and preserves down on the small table.

  Once the hot drink woke her up, it was set aside while Allegra tended to her bladder. Then, she tackled the kippers while Nadira checked over the other layers of Allegra’s outfits. Nadira shook out her mistress’s dress from the previous day, inspecting it for any mending requirements. She returned the chamberpot to its spot in the corner, draping the cloth back over it. When Nadira nodded she was ready, Allegra put down her mug and kippers and the women got to work.

  A quick wash in cold water was surprisingly refreshing after the heat of the previous night. Allegra used a clean, linen cloth to rub her maid’s “secret” mixture of salt-mint-cloves into her gums. Nadira then handed her a small bottle and Allegra rinsed her mouth with the vinegar mixture with bits of mint and fennel floating in it. She spit out the mixture into her dirty wash water.

  Once hygiene was taken care of, Allegra peeled out of the shift from the previous day—she’d also slept in it—and Nadira pulled a clean one over her head. Allegra held the bedpost as Nadira laced her into the corset. High fashion these days took on an odd chest-flattening cut, which just displaced one’s breasts elsewhere. Some of the larger women in the new fashions appeared to be unable to bend over, lest they smother in their own cleavage. Allegra was happy for her own more modest chest whenever Nadira strapped her into the new style of corset.

  Petticoat was next, then the panniers on either side of her hips to flare out her dress. These weren’t the outrageous ones for balls; just simple ones to give her outfit slightly exaggerated curves.

  Nadira asked, “Do you wish the pockets today, Your Ladyship?”

  “Please.”

  Nadira tied the long straps around Allegra’s waist, the large cloth pockets hanging on either side, accessible through the invisible slits in the seams of Allegra’s dresses. Though they were unseen by the world, Allegra had stitched strawberries on each pocket and had weaved a spot of magic into them against holes and thieves.

  The dress came next. The dress from the previous day was still clean, and Nadira helped pin and button it into place.

  “How do you want your hair today, Your Ladyship?”

  “Just in a side braid. I can do that myself.”

  Nadira nodded and picked up the pelisse that was draped over one of the chairs. She gasped when she saw the soot stain.

  “One of those grubby girls must have touched it. This will take an hour to scrub out. Oh, and it’s on the silk embroidery, too. Thoughtless little scum.” Nadira glared at it. “Has it ruined the spells you think? What if you become chilled in the evenings now?”

  Allegra felt very wise in keeping her confession to herself. “I doubt it, but I will add a little extra work to it once we return to the Abbey.”

  Allegra sat at the tiny dressing table in the far corner of the room. She untied the sleeping braid in her hair and ran her fingers through her thick, wavy hair as best as she could before retying it into a thick braid that hung over one shoulder. She opted not to wear her hat and instead would carry it.

  She didn’t finish her meal, so Nadira packed up the ham and the bread into a clean handkerchief for Allegra to eat later. She did, however, finish her tea and it quenched the parched sensation in her throat.

  “Have the rest of the kippers if you are hungry,” Allegra said.

  “Thank you, Your Ladyship. Is there anything else?” Allegra shook her head. “Then I shall pack your luggage. Would you like to wait downstairs?”

  Allegra did, and she took her hat with her. All the while, Allegra kept her focus on the day at hand and not the lingering self-doubts from the previous evening.

  Allegra covered the costs of damages to the inn’s tavern. The owners said they could redress the costs through the magistrate, but Allegra insisted. She slipped them three silver sovereigns, which would adequately cover the furniture repairs and the several bottles of poor quality gin that had been spilled in the brawl. Though, losing that foul soup was probably a blessing upon society.

  She strolled about the grounds, watching the stable boys leading horses this way and that. Maids were busy rushing about from the water pump back inside, and the chickens were busy eating pebbles and bugs.

  She made a final trip to the outhouse, once more avoiding having to face the threat of poison oak in some random, roadside woods. She stepped out of the outhouse and smoothed down her dress. Her carriage had been pulled out, so she headed toward it.

  Lex waved at her and said, “Good morning, Your Ladyship! Good weather today.”

  Allegra gave him a polite nod. “Very much so.”

  “Dodd will be down with Mrs. Ansley in a bit, if you wanted to talk with her.”

  “I’m sure Mrs. Ansley has plenty on her mind without me interfering.”

  “As you say, Your Ladyship,” Lex said, smiling as he inclined his head. He went back to bossing around stable boys and other junior members of her guard, who she hadn’t been introduced to yet.

  Allegra stepped into her carriage and decided to give Captain Rainier the prized forward-facing seat. He had given her the forward facing seat yesterday, as any man of rank would do. Allegra decided to test out her theory that he had more than mere country estate gentility in his bloodline.

  It was a harmless prank and Allegra needed something fun to keep her mind off the previous day’s events. They’d hopefully chuckle and squabble and it would keep her mind active, and needling the good captain seemed like an excellent diversion. Plus, she knew she could talk about rank and privilege, of mages and slavery, until she was blue in the face and never lose her magical temper. More than anything, that was what she needed today.

  She was already regretting the journey to the Cathedral and wished she’d just outright refused Rupert’s invitation. But he hadn’t invited her as a friend; he’d invited her as His Radiance, Holy Father Francois. Perhaps she could extort some assistance from him for having dragged her all this way.

  Allegra watched the servants rush around loading their luggage back on to the carriages. The others were all up now, and even Mrs. Ansley walked by, though she didn’t notice Allegra. That was fine; she didn’t want to converse with the woman. She wanted to offer her protection, yes, but in case Mrs. Ansley was really an elemental, Allegra didn’t want to risk raising anyone’s suspicions about herself. It was paranoid, and normally she wouldn’t have minded meeting another mage, but not this morning.

  Mrs. Ansley’s carriage was obviously not as fine as Allegra’s, but it was clearly a new purchase. Likewise, her dress and pelisse were of lesser quality, but still new and in fashion. Mrs. Ansley clearly wasn’t poor. Allegra wondered why they went after a woman who could afford her own carriage and traveling servants. The little servant girl would have been a better target.

  Allegra frowned. The little girl was the best target. Who would have stood up for a girl of dubious origins with an even more dubious status? She was prime for the taking and easy money at that for the guards. Maybe she really did need to speak with Mrs. Ansley.

  Captain Rainier interrupted Allegra’s thoughts. The carriage rocked when he hauled himself up. He stopped in time not to swing
himself in and sit on her, but he pivoted so hard that his knee wobbled. He managed not to fall, but it was close.

  She smiled demurely at him and motioned at the prized seat. “For you, Captain.” He glared at her, and she struggled to maintain her serene expression. “As repayment for your kindness last evening.”

  He eyed her, still balancing with one hand on the doorway. “Contessa, I cannot take the forward seat.”

  “I had it yesterday. You can have it today.”

  “It’s not gentlemanly to sit forward when a lady is stuck travelling backwards.” He quirked a smile. “A lady must always travel forward.”

  Allegra snorted. “Sit yourself down before I make the footman push you in.”

  “He can try,” Rainier said, but he took the forward seat. He wore his sword belt today and made no attempt to remove it for comfort. “You’ll be pleased to know Mrs. Ansley has joined our procession.”

  Allegra forced a smile. “I am glad, and thank you for humoring my request.”

  “I would have offered myself, if you’d given me the opportunity,” he said with an easy smile. The carriage lurched as they began their second day of travel. “Did you know Mrs. Ansley runs a lacemaking cooperative?”

  “I thought most lacemakers worked at home,” Allegra said idly. She pulled at a wayward thread in the carriage’s padding. She really had to arrange new upholstery. This was simply shabby.

  “She owns small shops where lacemakers work for her. She hires a girl to look after the little ones, and she has all of the supplies on site. Then, she pays the women for their work, and sells the lace herself. Buying wholesale like she does keeps her costs down, so she’s able to make a tidy profit and pay better wages than the women can make individually.”

  “What’s she doing here then?”

  “Apparently, she owns several shops and came to sell all of her interests in Cartossa. Her workers here in Montfort were being harassed and the magistrate was doing nothing to help. She said she’s going to concentrate on her cooperatives on the Amadore side of the border where her people aren’t being harassed nearly as much. Shame, really. It’s an interesting idea, don’t you think?”