The Demons We See

by Krista D. Ball

  She had outlined several speeches before she decided upon her current course of action. She eyed the painting of Tasmin, this time one of her on a rearing horse, as the demons clawed at her. How could she feel affiliation with a woman who never even existed except in myth? Well, either way, she was going to challenge whatever part of her that longed to be Tasmin and stand in front of the waves of demons.

  Allegra smoothed down the front of her gown. She’d worn her white dress with the wide skirts and the gold ruffles and embroidery. It was difficult to keep up with fashion trends, but this was demure enough not to offend the very conservative, but would speak of her wealth and power for those who needed such things spelled out for them and put on display.

  Her shoes clicked on the floor and echoed around her. She should have worn her flats, as opposed to the heeled satin shoes. These were too noisy. Nevertheless, what was done was done.

  She arrived at a double door and the guards nodded to each other before bowing to her. One of the men at the door, a tall man with brown skin and a bald head, bowed deeply to her. “Your Ladyship, the Chamber is ready for you.”

  Allegra gave him a curt nod of her head. The doors opened and Allegra nearly gasped audibly. Over a hundred cardinals in their rich purple robes and white fur collars stared at her. Each sat upon a gold-plated chair, covered in red velvet. In front of each of them was a small writing desk. The walls were painted frescos, from floor to ceiling. Landscapes, important moments in the Cathedral’s history, the Almighty in his faceless light guiding the faithful to stand against the demons. Gold leaf wainscoting divided the various frescos. It covered the ceiling, the baseboards, the desks, the doors. There was enough gold in this room to feed an entire nation for a month.

  Allegra gulped as the guard pointed out the podium where she could stand before the cardinals. But, she squared her shoulders and raised her chin, as a woman of the blood would do before standing in front of such an important body of people. For all of her self-doubts and worries, she was a contessa by blood and birthright. She was wealthy, powerful, and deserved to be in this place.

  Greeting her was Holy Father Francois. Gone was her old friend. No, this man was not her friend in this place. He stood when she approached the dais where the inner circle sat. He wore his formal robes: purple with a leopard stole over his shoulders, a gold braid about his waist, and a gold crown on his head. She curtsied low to him, her outstretched hands nearly touching the floor.

  He motioned for her to rise. “Greetings, Your Ladyship.”

  She gave him a guarded smile. “Your Radiance.”

  “Touch the blue crystal on the podium when you are ready to speak.”

  She nodded and walked to the wooden podium. It was covered in gold leaf, except for the shelves hidden from the main view of the auditorium. Likewise, the surface where the crystal sat, along with a glass of wine, was plain wood, if anything in this room could be deemed plain.

  Allegra touched the gem and saw a hundred other blue lights glow throughout the room. How in the name of all that was holy did they get these? She didn’t even know it was possible to enchant stones in this way.

  Her first speech she’d prepared was an agonizing compromise that said many lofty words and possessed no teeth, no direction, and no true purpose. It was a miserable, soul-destroying speech that said nothing that was truly in her heart.

  If she said what she truly wanted to do, they would drag her into the town square and stone her for being a heretic. She licked her lips. She looked down at these people. Too many of them would all happily send her to a mine to be forgotten, if only so that they could dispute everything that ever came out of her mouth.

  So what did it matter what she said? They would vote her down in any case. She was appointed to speak and act on their behalf between governments, but she could only act with their blessing.

  She opened her speeches, the two she’d prepared. She shuffled the pages and chose her path.

  “Thank you, Your Radiance, for this humbling opportunity to stand before this Chamber today. Since accepting the position of Arbiter, I have been asked by many what my plan will be to bring about an end to the current brewing conflict. How can I, a woman from a quiet, isolated abbey, hope to bring peace and continued posterity at a time when rebelliousness and rioting are increasingly commonplace through all of Serna.

  “When I consider the magnitude of the decision before me, a decision that affects not just this Chamber and how the world sees those within it, but how my choices will affect the lives of every single person we touch, from the lowest prisoner rotting in a cell to the grand houses of princes and kings, I am humbled by this responsibility.

  “Many of you feel that I am inadequate to this task before me, and I would be lying to you today if I did not say I feel the terrifying reality of that inadequacy. For, today, I know with all certainty that the path we decide upon will bring about an end. Only the Almighty knows if it will be the end of unrest or the end of the comfortable existence we all know and love.”

  Allegra drew in a deep breath. She saw many of them nodding now. She had debased herself the appropriate amount that was needed. Now the real words began.

  “When I reflect upon the task before me, and the lives that will shortly depend upon my actions and my decisions, my rulings and my judgements, I know now within my heart what I must do.

  “I am but one mage, but I now will speak for all mages when I say we live with the constant fear of being labelled an elemental. The poor and the troublemakers, who have no such talents as others, share in this same fear. There is no test to prove someone is or is not a mage. Just an accusation and the palming of a silver coin is often the only proof we require. Local magistrates arrest innocent women that are competing against them in business, and promptly have them killed, without any trial, without any independent investigation. All of those are a contravention of this Chamber’s expressed word. But we do nothing.

  “Could any of you live your life with that threat hanging upon you? What if I were to say I was an elemental? I would be dragged from this stage while you fought over who confiscated my property. What if I accused the Holy Father of being one? I am his childhood friend, after all. How many of you would be salivating at the idea that you might have the opportunity to climb the final step on the ladder of power?”

  The crowd was muttering now. They were shocked by her words. They expected contrite, useless measures. No, not today. Not ever again. If she were to expose herself to these vultures, than she would show them her teeth, too.

  “Can you not see the world of paranoia and fear we have created? For some of us, we hide. We remove ourselves from as many people as possible to avoid accusations that would ruin our lives. Others become abolitionists and agitators. They know they risk imprisonment, but they refuse to live in fear. They know they are already hated so much that any of their enemies would declare them heretics, demon worshippers, and elemental mages just for the sheer, perverse joy of watching them be dragged away. How is this godly? It is not godly.”

  “How dare you speak of godliness? You are a heathen!” a voice shouted from the floor.

  Several of the cardinals pounded on their desks in approval. Others booed, though she wasn’t completely sure if they were booing her or her detractors.

  The man next to Francois stood. “Silence in the Chamber! Cardinal Vanida, you will control your outbursts.” After a moment, he said, “Pray, continue, Your Ladyship.”

  “The comment from the floor is a valid one, even if given out of turn. So I shall answer it, if you wish.”

  Vanida crossed his arms.

  “I do not know, yet, if I believe in the Almighty, but I do know I believe in what the Almighty stands for: peace. For too long, I have feared the Almighty, not because of my own sins, but the sins of others. I fear what might be done in His name against me and those I love. No more. No more.

  “As I stand here today, from this day forward, I sha
ll put aside my fears, all of my uncertainties, and I shall represent the Cathedral, and focus all of my power behind the total abolition of the mage slave trade in all of Serna.”

  The Chamber went wild. The abolitionists, for there were several wearing cardinals robes she knew, jumped to their feet and clapped. They cheered and praised the Almighty. The status quo block, those who did not want to help the people they pretended to represent, jumped to their feet to decry the abolitionists. Still others, stunned by her words, sat in their seats staring. Some were tugging on their compatriots to be seated, or else whispering to those seated next to them.

  She did not care. Her course was set.

  “Silence in the Chamber! Silence!”

  The voices did not die down until the Speaker of the Chamber stepped up to the podium, touched the crystal, and shouted, “Show some restraint!” His voice boomed throughout the room, silencing all of the arguments below on the floor. “You will show the proper decorum in this Chamber.” He looked at Allegra and bowed. “I apologize, Your Ladyship.”

  She gave him a weak smile. She was ready to vomit.

  “I know this path is not easy, and I will not exercise beyond the mandate you vote for me today. However, you have a right to know, from my own lips, what my true intentions are. All of us must take upon ourselves a share in the current situation we find ourselves. We are all guilty. If we wear an amulet or wield an enchanted sword, or have a scarf that keeps us warm in winter, or speak into a crystal for all to hear our voice, we are guilty of causing the rebellion outside of our doors.

  “We all benefit from magic, from the lowest to the greatest. We cannot exonerate ourselves by casting blame on others. No, Your Graces, we are all complicit, so let us work together to fix the mess we now find ourselves in.”

  They were back shouting at her now, disgusted that she had told them they were culpable in the mess that was happening in the real world. The Speaker of the Chamber again stood, but Allegra shouted back. “Sit down or I shall request His Grace to treat you like suspected elemental mages and have you locked in the basement pending investigation!”

  There was a shocked silence that came over the room. Even the Speaker stared at her, his mouth slack. “I know some of you are conspiring to label me an elemental. I have heard the whispers. I have heard the snide comments. If you continue to disrupt me, I shall name your names.”

  “That is blackmail!” Cardinal Vanida shouted at her.

  Allegra had heard no such rumors. No one in their right minds would ever whisper a hint of it in her presence. Yet, she’d had her suspicions all the same. So, it came as no great surprise that Vanida was the one to shout the loudest at her words.

  “Cardinal Vanida, sit down this instant! You will have the opportunity to speak and vote when Her Ladyship is concluded. Your constant interruptions do nothing but prolong this meeting. Your Ladyship, I humbly beg your forgiveness. The Chamber is normally significantly more cordial.” He leaned toward the speaking stone, “Especially considering the abolitionists were not this disruptive when Lord Castigara stood here and demanded all mages be dragged from their homes in chains.”

  The old man stepped back, but did not sit down. Instead, he stood next to her, a body guard for her words. She gave him a small nod and continued.

  “First, this Chamber must address the situation of accused elemental mages, be they mage or not. I have been inside a prison mine. It is the most wretched place on earth. The canaries are living, breathing men, women, and children. They live in the depths to blast away the rock and clear the rubble. They explode the gases, and sometimes explode with the gases. They die by the thousands and we do nothing to stop it. This room is coated in the blood of mages. My dress and its gold thread is stained with the blood of mages.

  “Many of those accused of being elementals are not even mages. Those who have been sold into slavery either due to poverty or the cruelty of another risk endless abuses. Women risk further illness from repeated childbirth that was not of their own choice. Children are routinely abused. Men are worked until they collapse. How can we draw a veil over this truth and pretend it doesn’t exist?

  “The blind see better than we have all chosen to see. And, yes, I count myself in this. But no more. No more will I sit in Borro Abbey and be comfortable. No more will I keep my own counsel. Let the consequences damn me if they will. Cart me away to keep me silent if you choose. But I will no longer rest until I see the end to this offensive and sinful practice.”

  ****

  Allegra sat in her small room and sipped her bitter tea. She drank it in spite of the taste, the unpleasantness seeping into her soul. She had done it. Lord Almighty, she had ruined her life. Oh, it might not be today, or even a month from now, but her life was ruined.

  She surprised herself by caring far less about that fact than she’d always assumed. She had hidden herself away all these years hoping to shield herself from making this very choice. Now that it was here, there was a weight off her shoulders and a fire in her belly.

  As long as the fire stayed within and never on a pyre with her screaming for mercy, she could live with her choice. With the mood she was in today, even if the pyre became her end, she could still live with her choice.

  “Do you need some company?”

  Allegra was already smiling when she looked up to see Captain Rainier standing in her doorway. He was in his every day green jacket uniform, complete with the sword at his hip. His boots were polished within an inch of themselves and were most likely clean enough to eat off, if it wasn’t for the fact that blackening polish was poisonous.

  His smile was infectious and she found hers growing. “I would love some company.”

  Rainier walked in and took a seat across from her. He adjusted his sword so that he could sit and then cross one leg over the other. “So, I heard an interesting rumor. Did you really tell the cardinals that you were going to use your position as Arbiter to eliminate slavery?”

  She smiled at him while taking a dainty sip of her tea.

  “That takes guts, Contessa. I salute you.” Noticing her grimace, he asked, “Don’t like the tea?”

  “It’s very bitter.”

  “Put some sugar in it.” She met his eyes and he sucked in a breath. “Tell me you’re not joining the sugar boycott, too. I’ve had to listen to Pero rant about sugar for six months now.”

  Allegra placed her saucer down on the small table between her and Rainier. Her corset made the gesture difficult, causing Rainier to rescue her by accepting the dishes. She inclined her head by way of thanks. “I don’t believe in doing anything by halves. For better or for worse, I am the Arbiter of Justice. I shall openly dedicate myself to the cause of peace, and equality for mages is the only path to those ends.”

  Rainier glanced at the untouched sugar bowl. “The cardinals won’t vote in your favor.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why do it?”

  That was an excellent question and one she even asked herself while at the podium. Why did she do it? Her speech was more radical than Pero’s recommendations. What had she been thinking? The answer always came back to the same thing.

  “I’m tired of hiding.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve been hiding my whole life from what happened to Mrs. Ansley, and for what? She has disappeared, mostly likely among the unaccounted dead.”

  “We did all that we could. This was not your fault.”

  Allegra pushed herself up from the chair and walked over to the large window that overlooked the busy courtyard below. Brisk trade was taking place there, with various enterprising merchants selling their wares out of carts and wheelbarrows. This wasn’t the courtyard visitors and pilgrims saw. They kept to the clean markets near the popular sites. Back here, in the working parts of Orsini, were the butchers and bakers, tradesmen and women, and uncertified beggars who weren’t allowed in the rich courtyard.

  The scene was th
e reality of life, much more than the sanitized brickwork visitors so frequently saw. This part of Orsini was gated off under the guise of private quarters, but this place was like her own heart. Oh, she put on a good show for the populace, but she knew what her own heart harbored. Shame, secrets, and a gripping anxiety that one day her life would be laid bare for the world and, in that moment, her life would end.

  “You are too hard on yourself,” Rainier said. He walked over to join her at the window. He pushed back the curtain to look out with her, and the lace fell behind them. It gave the illusion of privacy, with the sun beaming in through the window.

  She looked up at him. He was the epitome of rugged handsomeness, with his well-trimmed beard that had a couple of white flecks in it. His black hair was cut short against his scalp. For a man who had been in one of the most famous fights in all of Serna’s recent history, he had no noticeable scars. Just perfect dark skin that shimmered in the sunlight.

  “When did the sugar boycott begin?”

  “When I stood at the podium today, I made the decision to dedicate my life to ending the mistreatment of mages. Captain, do you know where Cathedral sugar comes from?”

  Rainer pointed at the carts outside. “I assume one of them.”

  “I asked one of the clerks. She said most of our sugar comes from Lasyrium. The last I’ve heard, they almost exclusively use male mages.”

  “I did hear that,” Rainier admitted.

  “So until I know where my sugar comes from, I won’t use it. And that goes for my gold, my gems, my silver, my coffee, and my cocoa.” She blew out a breath. “If I have to extend it to my cinnamon, my nutmeg, and even my wheat, I shall. I have hidden long enough and I feel the weight of the consequences.”

  “Isn’t this gold thread in your bodice’s embroidery?”