Bitch # 1

by Deja King

  "I wanted this night to be special."

  During the flight I kept pinching myself because this couldn't be real. My life seemed to be going too perfectlyno drama with bitches, no drama with my man and nobody getting killed. It didn't seem like my life; it was like I stepped into someone else's. It was fine with me. I was ready to leave that street life behind. Who knew that a drama-free life could be so much fun?

  When the jet landed a car was waiting to take us to a yacht. Then the yacht took us to a private beach where dinner was served. A path of rose pedals led to our table in the center of a glass gazebo surrounded by vandella roses and pink peony flowers. Flat dishes filled with sand displayed vanilla candles. A mini orchestra dressed in tuxedos was playing the most soothing music.

  We even had a wait staff to serve us our meal and keep the champagne flowing. Coming from the bottom I never imagined what heaven was like, but this had to be it. "Supreme, I never thought I could be speechless. This is amazing."

  "You're amazing. Precious, I'm in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

  "Before you say anything else, there is something I want to tell you."

  "You sound so serious. What is it?"

  "I don't know exactly where to start."

  "The beginning would be fine."

  "It's a little more complicated than that."

  "Precious, just tell me, don't hold back." I took a deep breath, trying to prepare for this moment. I wasn't sure how Supreme was going to react to what I had to say, but I knew it needed to be done. It was only fitting that I purge my soul in the middle of paradise.

  "As you know I'm from Brooklyn. I grew up in the projects, depending on no one but myself. Because of my mother's drug addiction, she left me no choice but to go out there and make money to support us and, in her case, support her drug habit.

  So, at the age of fifteen, I started fucking around with hustlers so they could take care of me and I could bring money home to my moms. In doing that I got caught up in a lot of bullshit, and I became cold. `Cause when you out in those streets, don't nobody give a fuck about you. I soon met a man by the name of Nico Carter."

  "Nico? Is that the guy Mike mentioned when we were in the studio?"

  "Yes. I lied when I told you he was nobody. He's actually my ex-boyfriend who is currently locked up doing life in prison for a murder I set up."

  "What!"

  "You heard me. He cheated on me and I wanted to teach him a lesson so I started having sex with his best friend Ritchie, and I made sure he found out because I knew he would flip out and kill him."

  "Wait a minute, I remember that case. That happened not too long ago. It was in the paper almost every day. Nico Carter was some big time kingpin from Brooklyn. He was convicted of killing two guys. They said it was over some drug operation gone bad, but you're saying it wasn't that at all."

  "No, it wasn't. It was all my doing. I wanted to make sure he spent the rest of his life in prison."

  "But he was convicted of killing two guys. He killed his best friend for fucking around with you, but why the other guy?"

  "He didn't kill him, I did. Nico's best friend Ritchie was trying to cross him, but Nico didn't know it. Ritchie partnered up with this guy named Butch. Butch had beef with my ex-boyfriend Azar and put a gun to my head, threatening to kill me if I didn't give him Azar's money and the room key to where he was hiding out at. I didn't have a choice but to do what he asked and he murdered Azar.

  "So the night Nico came looking for me at Ritchie's house, Butch showed up unexpectedly, and I killed him. Nobody knows that but you, Supreme. Nico probably has his suspicions, but he isn't sure. He also believes I took a million dollars from him, which I did. I wanted the money so I could leave Brooklyn and start my life over again."

  "So where does pretty boy Mike fit in?"

  "Mike is from Brooklyn. Before he got in the music game, he was a drug kingpin like Nico. When he met me at the club and I told him my name and that I was from Brooklyn he did some checking and realized that me and Nico's Precious was one in the same. When I ran into him at the studio he was delivering me a message courteous of Nico."

  "What message was that?"

  "Basically, that I still belong to him and when he gets out, he is going to kill me."

  "Didn't he get two consecutive life sentences?"

  "Yeah, but somehow, someway, he is determined to get out and get revenge."

  "Baby, he's not ever getting out," Supreme said as he wiped away the tears that were streaming down my face.

  "I know, but Mike sounded so sure that death was knocking on my front door. Supreme, I know I've done some fucked up things, but I'm different now. Falling in love with you has changed my whole outlook on life.

  "I never thought another world existed outside of Brooklyn that I wanted to be a part of, but I was wrong. I know I've lied to you and you have every reason to turn your back on me, but just know that you're the first man I've ever loved, and I want you to be the last."

  Supreme sat in front of me quiet as hell. I knew there were so many other secrets I was leaving out, but I didn't want to overload him. I just wanted to paint a clear picture of who I used to be. Plus, no matter what, some secrets have to die with you. I mean I had changed, but the streets of Brooklyn would always be in my blood.

  "Precious, I'm glad you were honest with me. It explains why it was so hard for you to let down your guards. When I look in your beautiful eyes I can't believe you've been through so much. Most people carry the weight of the world on their face, yet you look as innocent as a little girl.

  "All I want to do is take care of you and save you from yourself and the people who brought you so much pain. I could never turn my back on you. What you just told me only makes me love you more because I know how much courage it took for you to do that."

  Supreme stood and came towards me. I was about to stand up, too, so I could embrace him for understanding and not judging me. "No sit back down." Supreme put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a tiny black box. Before what I thought he was about to do sunk in, he got on bended knee and said, "Precious, you're the only woman for me. I want to spend eternity with you. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

  Remember when I said I came from nothing but was determined to have it all? That meant designer clothes, fly ass car, some diamonds and furs. You know the material things that all project chicks want. See, that was my hood dream.

  When I rep'd for Brooklyn I had all that. Niggas couldn't tell me it could get no better. Every bitch in the street wanted to be me. I was Nico Carter's girl. We were the King and Queen of the hood. All motherfuckers had to bow down. I had my Alpo, so having it all had been accomplished in my book.

  But now, here I was chilling on a beach that I arrived at on a yacht and before that a private jet, and Supreme, one of the biggest Rappers in the world, who I was madly in love with asked me to be his wife. So I'll admit it. I was wrong. There is more to life than being `Hood Rich'.

  "Of course I'll marry you, Supreme. I love you more than anything in this world." After we danced under the moonlight and everyone left, Supreme and I made love on the beach. My life was finally at peace.

  When Supreme and I got back from Barbados, I started planning our wedding immediately. The manner in which he proposed to me was so romantic that I wanted our wedding to be on the beach, too. I preferred a small ceremony, but Supreme wanted something extravagant. We compromised and decided to meet someplace in the middle.

  I didn't have anyone to invite but Rhonda so the guest list would be comprised of all of his family and friends.

  A week after we got back from our trip, Supreme took me to meet his mother and father, who also lived in Jersey. Supreme was originally from Queens, but once he made it big he bought his parents a big house in the suburbs. They were the sweetest couple and embraced me as if I was their own daughter.

  Their only reservation was that Supreme and I were both so young, but they said
as long as their son is happy then that's all that mattered. And it was obvious how happy Supreme and I were together.

  (7F

  "I cant' believe you're moving out, Precious. I know you can't be married and living here with me, but couldn't you wait until after the wedding."

  "Rhonda, I'ma miss you too, but my fiancee wants me to be with him. I love saying that."

  "I bet you do. You're marrying Supreme. You're a lucky bitch."

  "Who you telling? I can't wait for one of those groupie bitches to step to my man so I can flash my rock in they face and be like what?"

  "You know in Vibe Magazine, they congratulated him on his engagement and they printed your name too."

  "Word. I can' believe that."

  "Yes, they also mentioned it on Miss Jones' show and Wendy Williams. So there are a lot of hurt bitches out there right now."

  "Good, `cause I ain't neva giving him up."

  "Speaking of giving up, I know that wasn't Amir you were on the phone with a minute ago?"

  "If I tell you `yeah', will you hate me?"

  "No, I'm not gonna hate you, but I will tell you to wise up."

  "Precious, he's been trying so hard and he said he would go get counseling for his temper."

  "Rhonda, listen if you not ready to settle down and be true to Amir all the counseling in the world ain't gonna help. He was dead-ass wrong for busting yo' ass, but in the same token, I knew that sneaky shit, fucking niggas behind his back, was gonna catch up to you.

  "Trust me, Rhonda, I know what kind of damage cheating can cause. It can make the sanest motherfucker lose they mind. Niggas die behind shit like that.

  "If you still want to run these streets and fuck this nigga and the third, then you need to be single and let Amir go. You shouldn't use him as a crutch, just in case it don't work out between you and one of the other dudes you messing around wit."

  "I know you're right. It's difficult because before you came along and gave me a makeover, I was the corny chick that didn't nobody pay attention to. When guys started checking for me, it blew my mind. I do love Amir, but I feel like I have to make up for lost time."

  "Girl, you can't neva make up for lost time. Once it's gone, it's gone. Only you can decide if you want to be with Amir or not, but if you're kicking him to the curb because you want to get your back blown out by some grimy-ass niggas, then you gotta check yourself. Because all them dudes want to do is smash and dash. Is that worth you losing somebody that you truly love? Don't answer that now, just think about it."

  I went back in my room to pack up the rest of my belongings. I was going to miss this apartment and living with Rhonda. We really did become friends, and I had a lot of love for her. But it was time to close this chapter of my life. I was about to move on to something even better.

  I picked up the only picture I had of my mother and stared into her beautiful green eyes. It was as if they were staring back at me. The picture was of her holding me when I was just a baby. Her face glowed and she appeared to be full of happiness. I can never remember a time growing up when my mother was healthy and drug-free, so I always hold on to this picture because this is the only tangible reminder I have that shows that she was. My mother still had so much to live for. Her life was stolen from her when she was only thirty-seven, and now here I was, twenty, about to walk down the aisle. It didn't seem fair.

  Sometimes I stare at the picture for hours, looking for clues as to what went wrong. How did a woman that had the capabilities of having it all, live her life as though she was nothing? I wondered if she was looking down on me and knew how happy I was. Oh, how I wished she could be here to enjoy this with me. Planning my wedding, meeting my future husband and being a grandmother to the child I hoped to have in the future.

  But most of all, I prayed that my mother had forgiven me. Right when she turned her life around, it was taken away because of the decisions I made. Hopefully turning my life around would be payment in full..

  -�T

  It seemed like overnight it was the day of my wedding. With all the planning I did to have the event take place on a beach, we ended up having an elaborate ceremony right in our own backyard. With the growing guest list and celebratory parties people threw for us, it didn't make sense to try and fly everyone out to a beach. Plus, the mansion we lived on was sitting on six acres of land. That was more than enough space to have a lavish affair. Everyone from Michael Jordan to 50 Cent was in attendance.

  It was the event of the summer. It took months to plan the wedding, but the actual ceremony lasted no more than fifteen minutes. But it was all worth it just to be at the altar with Supreme.

  After we exchanged vows, took pictures and had our first dance as husband and wife, I went upstairs to change out of my wedding dress. Although it was beautiful I couldn't wait to step into the sexy Roberto Cavalli dress Supreme picked out for me. I caught every angle in the three-sided mirror and the dress clinched my body just right.

  "You really are the most beautiful bride I've ever seen." I damn near tripped and fell when I turned to see who was intruding in my space.

  "How did you get in here? You weren't even invited to the wedding."

  "That was an oversight, I'm invited to everything." I wanted to smack the smug look off pretty boy Mike's face.

  "That was no oversight. What the hell do you want anyway, to deliver another message?" I said sarcastically turning my back on him.

  "As a matter of fact, yes. Nico said congratulations on your marriage."

  "Oh really? so you told him I got married?"

  "Actually he read about it in one of those magazines and when I spoke to him he asked me was it true. You know he still loves you, Precious, but how couldn't he look at you. You're about the closest thing you can get to perfection."

  "GET OUT!"

  "Calm down. You shouldn't get so upset on your wedding day."

  "Then leave."

  "I will, but only if you allow me to kiss you goodbye, on the cheek of course."

  My body was motionless as my feet remained cemented to the floor. Mike came closer and I thought to myself, the quicker he get his rocks off by giving me some weak-ass kiss, the quicker I'll be rid of him for good. I held my breath as he put his head down to kiss me on the left side of my cheek. When I exhaled, he whispered in my ear, "Till death do you part."

  Mike turned and vanished as quickly as he appeared. I didn't know whether to run after him and knock him in the head with my heel or to fall on the floor and burst out crying. This was my wedding day for heaven sakes, wasn't it everyone's obligation to stick to the script.

  Dead or Alive

  I'd never seen Supreme happier than on the day I told him I was with child. Sometimes life can be too perfect.

  "Good morning, my little man," Supreme said as he rubbed and kissed my stomach. That was his daily routine ever since he found out I was pregnant.

  "Little man? How you know it's not my little princess?"

  "My gut is telling me them back shots I gave you produced my little man, that's all."

  "Them back shots? How `bout when I was riding you like a cowgirl I made my little girl?"

  "Yeah, but I only bust up in you from the back or the front, never with you on top."

  "You do have a point there," I admitted clobbering him over the head with the pillow.

  "It don't matter, though, whether my little man or your little princess, it's nothing but love. I'm just ecstatic about my wife giving me my first seed."

  "Baby, I'ma try so hard to be a good mother to our child. I wanna give this baby the type of parents I never had growing up."

  "Precious, you're going to be a wonderful mother, and we will be great parents. This child's life is already starting off different than yours and mine."

  "Supreme, you have great parents."

  "Yeah, but I have the same hood story as mostly every other black man out here. I was blessed enough to grow up with both of my parents, but they had to break their backs to provide fo
r us. We barely got by, and I could've easily turned my soul over to the street life, but this music game was my savior. Now I can provide for my people, and my family and kids won't ever have to struggle the way we did." Supreme sat up and put his arms around me as we lay in the bed.

  "Precious, that's why when you made your confession to me, I didn't judge you or think any less of you. I know what desperation can make you do. Most people fold and either get strung out on drugs, commit suicide or lose they mind. Then they might as well be dead because they just floating through life anyway with no purpose. But your desperation gave you determination, and I admire you for that."

  "With all I've seen and been through in life, I ain't never been one to have a lot of faith in God. But now I believe that prayers can be answered because only God could've brought someone as wonderful as you to me."

  That morning Supreme and I began making love with a newfound intensity. With every thrust our bodies engulfed one another as if holding on for dear life. It was as if we were making love for the very last time.

  After Supreme left to go to the studio in the city, I was looking at my day planner because his birthday was coming up and I wanted to surprise him with a party. When I stared at today's date, to my surprise I realized that it was the anniversary of my mother's murder. I had been so caught up in my new life that it slipped my mind. I got dressed and first stopped at Michael George in the city to pick up a flower arrangement to leave on her gravesite.

  I dreaded going to Brooklyn, but I had to show my respect for my mother. I purposely wore a baseball cap and a black sweat suit in an attempt to disguise myself. I didn't feel there would be no drama, but you could never be too careful. Right as I turned on the Brooklyn Bridge, I heard my cell phone ringing.

  It was Rhonda. "What's up?"

  "Precious, can you come by? I really need someone to talk to."

  "What's wrong?"

  "It's Amir."

  "Please don't tell me that nigga went upside yo' head again."

  "No, but I'm afraid he's about to snap again. It's all my fault."

  "What the fuck did you do Rhonda?"