Fractured Promises (Reapers Reign, #2)

by Maree, Aleisha

  Walking out through the glass French doors to the deck, I sat there with my steaming cup of hot coffee watching as the hot steam hits the crisp morning air. It's going just on 6.A.M and the moon is kissing good morning to the sun. I have always loved to watch the sunrise, it’s a new day. It’s an amazing time to start living again. I feel as the sun’s rays hit my face and the hot liquid warms my sou,l raising my eyes out and over the fields filled with wildflowers I let my head turn to the side, stepping out just that little bit further looking down to the river that runs through the back and where he came and took me. He got to me on my home turf, that hurts the most. This was the one place I was supposed to be safe, home, he tainted it. Before I even know it I’m stepping down the steps walking through the lush grass, still wet with the nights dew. I relish in the coolness as it seeps through my sweats. I run my free fingers through the tops of the grass and wildflowers. I don’t know where I am going, I just feel a pull that I can’t ignore.

  Standing there looking at the river below, I find myself looking into eyes of a girl I don’t even anymore. This body is a shell of the former me, the happy go lucky fighting goddess, the one that stood her little less than a month ago, laughing and chatting with her best friend. Now I don’t even recognise the girl looking back at me, pulling my still steaming coffee to my lips, I take a big sip and let the heat wash over me. I love the bitter taste it leaves as it hits the back of my throat, tantalizing my taste buds. Coffee has always been my drug of chocie, well that was until my body had its first taste of junk. Now that I crave more than all the coffee in the world. Sitting down I cross my legs, leaning over I pick up little pebbles sitting on the water’s edge, I begin to throw them into the water sending beautiful ripples over it, breaking my reflection up as it spreads out. Smiling for the first time in weeks, I like the way that looks, it mirrors the way I feel, the way I see myself at this moment, in this time, in this space, FRACTURED! Fractured, used and beaten down to nothing but a shell. I am a lost girl in the body of a used woman, how can he love me? How can he want to touch me again after what he saw, after the marks left on my body? He willl learn all my secrets and then he will leave me, and I’ll be alone.

  I can’t seem to find direction, every day since then and even way before then when I came back the first time, I fight a war against what I see and feel. I’m so unclean. I’m a hazard to myself, and all those around me. All I seem to bring is pain, anger and fear mixed with blood. I wish I could be someone else, change all that I am, everything, and start again, clean, not tainted. I wish the doctor would allow me to have something else prescribed to me, something to numb this shit feeling. I don’t really see any easy way out this time. I could fall right now into the water, smack my head on the rocks that sit on the bottom and slip away no harm, no foul. I could allow them all to move on without me holding them back.

  Pulling myself up I put my cup down walking right to the edge. Ever so lightly I scoop my toes through the top of the chilly water sending an instant shiver up my body, my lip starts to shake as I think of throwing myself in. Looking around I head up a little way to the rocks to get a better vantage point and if I fall just here I shall be able to crack my skull hard enough on the rocks to fall into the water and just float away. I won’t even need to hit the bottom of the stream bed or hold my breath, pulling the needle from my sweats pocket I roll it in my fingers it's all the pills I have been saving from the doctor, plus a few extras I found around the house. When no one was aware I crushed them and burned them down to this sweet liquid, before sucking it up through a filter and into the needle. There should be enough there to take me past the edge of coming back.

  Pulling the belt from my pocket, I wrap it around my bicep pulling it tight and holding it taut between my teeth the vein pops up happy to the surface. I feel the sting of the sharp tip of the needle hit just under my skin, pushing it deeper down into the purple vein bulging from my arm I push the plunger down and I savour the taste one last time as the first bit hits my vein. I know I shouldn’t be doing this. I know deep down that I should be fighting, but I just can’t do it it nay more. Pulling back a little to mix the crimson of my blood with the amber liquid I savour the taste she gives me, before I start to whirl into her unknown. Smiling at the thought I start to push the plunger all the way down, throwing my head back, shutting my eyes, I prepare to push the last bit in. I’m about to plunge it into my hungery veins, empty it into my body, and boom like thunder kissing lighting he is there hot, heavy arms filled with passion and strength. The beat of his heart pounds hard against my back. Falling back my hand falls from my arm as the belt comes free from my teeth. Shaking I go to open my lips to speak, but his arms snake around me pulling us both back, pulling me back from the ledge. Dropping to the ground he pulls me tightly to him, prying the needle from my finger vice-like grip he throws it into the river, sobbing I lay my head back into him, eyes pulled tightly shut I breathe out to him to my saviour so patient he should be a saint.

  “I lost myself, Knox, I feel like I’m alone. Laying here so fucked up in front of you. With one last chance to make it, I chose to end it. Can you pick me up? Can you save what’s left of me? Because I can’t I have nothing left Knox, there’s no fight, it’s gone, and I’m afraid you won’t like what you see on the inside. I afraid you will hate it as much as I hate what I see on the outside.”

  In that instant, he pulls me tighter to him. I think I may break, wincing at the sharp pain shooting through my body, tears pool in my eyes slipping tiny drops out the corners before falling down my cheeks, he speaks then his voice shaking filled with pain laced tears. “I promised Sarah-Jane that I would hold her up, keep her safe forever and always. I failed I fell hard into a pit of hate I lived with my demons, I ripped them out, beat them up and placed them back in, just to do it all over again. I’ve been given a second chance with you. She, your brother, they put you in my life at this time for a reason and that reason is to do nothing but love you, hold you up when you can’t stand, carry you when you can’t walk, speak for you when you have no voice, be your eyes in the dark, your hand to hold when the nights are too long, the sun to keep you warm and the love to know your own worth. I won’t ever give up on you. I won’t ever falter or fall. I may stumble along the way, but I promise I won’t drop you. You’re my forever now, you’re my air, my sun, my moon, my night you’re the light that guides me home when the dreams are dark. I love you right here right now, even though you don’t love who you are at this moment I’ll show you each and every day why I love you, please stay.”

  Turning in his arms I look into his beautiful grey pools that drown you with one sweet stare, bringing my shaky hand up to his face I trace my fingers over the tears lacing his cheeks, as mine fall in drops from my own, pulling his face to mine my fingers laced around the back of his head, my nose touching his softly I whisper out this, afraid to speak too loud for I’m worried what he may say.

  “I should be over it, but you know what I’m not! It still haunts me every day, for years, I hate getting flashbacks from all the things I don’t want remember, I don’t even need to be asleep to have them. And still now, right now, I repeat all the things you have ever said to me to keep them at bay, to silence them, with the sound of you, but it doesn’t last long before they break through. Maybe I deserve all of this, I let him in, I fucking let him in, and he completely destroyed me, he put me through hell and I called it LOVE. Sometimes I have to push you away because I need you to pull me closer, it’s not fair to you but I don’t know how to love without pain baby, help me, can you help me?” I cry out to him needing more now than words, needing his strong embrace to hold me. Placing his finger on my forehead running them down over the deep bruises and a broken eye socket that is still so puffy I can barely see from it. He whispers, “You're worth the chaos, you want to know why?”

  Knox

  I need her to understand. “I knew I was home the moment my lips touched yours, I choose you, and I’ll choose you, over and
over, without a doubt. I’ll keep choosing you, flaws, cracks, blemishes, insecurities, challenges, painful times happiness, darkness, scars, tears, the crazy, the night terrors the whole lot. I’ll always choose you, Blue, I’ve seen the ugly parts of you and I’ve seen all the beautiful bits and my love still says yes. I’m staying I’m not running you’re my storm and I want to calm you, keep you, love you.”

  Her dark, sad weeping eyes tear at my heart sending pain through my body. I see the shadows of doubt in her I feel the unease of my words settling over her. Picking her up and wrapping her body into me I kiss her temple, “let me show you just how much I love you, all of you, I want you! All of you flaws scratches, scrapes, bruises. I’m not scared of something that I see as nothing other than perfect,” I whisper into her ear as I carry her back to the main house through the wildflowers that remind me so much of her, the aroma of them floating around us as we walk brushing through them.

  Walking into our room with her in my arms I place her gently on the bed, tying my hair back into a bun, I lower my eyes over her body bringing them back up to her eyes. Eyes that are hooded with pain, with the slight glaze of lust she may not be ready for this right now, but I need her to know that I will love her broken and all. Grabbing the injection from the bedside drawer I pull the cover off the tip with my teeth, picking up a alcohol swap wiping it over her arm I tap the vein to bring it back to life. Looking into her eyes mine silently asking her if she’s ok, she nods at me, and I plunge the needle into her vein and push the Naloxone into her body. Her eyes roll back, and I clean up whipping up the pinprick of sweet red blood that has popped to the top of her skin. Waiting to watch her come back to me as the drug brings her back down from the high she was on. I step to the bottom of the bed as she opens her eyes clear and green haunting as she watches me, needing this just as much as me.

  Blue

  Looking up at him as he removes his shirt, standing there in just his sweats, I run my tongue over my still split lip, he kneels on the bed, cusuing my body to sink down with his weight. He climbs up over my body hovering over me, it’s like he also has control over not only my body but the bed, we both move with his every move, every hitch of his breath, every flex of his muscles, shift of his thighs, it gives into his weight pulling me into the mould his weight has made. As he ever so slowly removes my sweats lifting me lightly shifting my weight like I’m light as a feather and made of porcelain, the coolness of the sheets touch the back of my thighs. Wiggling out to embrace these new feelings and sensations, after the torture from days past, his eyes lock with mine as the soft, delicate touch of his fingers slide up my T-shirt, slowly pulling it up over my breasts, shoulders and finally my head and arms. I close my eyes and relish the taste of his soft lips on mine as he throws the shirt to the floor, the heat from his body penetrates through my body hitting my backbone reminding me he is there, so present, wanting this, whispering in my ear asking me if I am ok? Is this alright? All I can do is nod, afraid that if I open my mouth to speak the butterflies mixed with fear will escape. Pulling himself from kissing my earlobe and neck, his eyes lock onto mine. I can see myself in his grey pools, I look like a lost little girl, frail, and alone. I wonder what he sees when he looks into mine, shutting my eyes I try hard to shut the image from my sight, his voice sounds out so quietly above me I swear it was a whisper.

  “Please don’t do that. Don’t shut me out, look at me and see the love in my eyes, my hearts been a ghost without you in there. I now plan to bring you back” he breathes out over me. Bringing my fingers up I run them over the outline of his face and jaw bringing them down to his neck and drawing the line that runs from collarbone to shoulder. I open my mouth and even as I try to sound in control my voice lets me down.

  “Breathing you in and blowing you out. I’m drowning under the weight of your stare, hence the shut eyes, I need you like the sun needs the moon. I need you to cut through my shadows with sunlight and make this all right, I do.”

  Ever so slightly he moves his body back, so he’s eyeing every inch of my body, a look that seems to be pure devotion to what? Me? God, I feel so exposed it’s a wired feeling, I don’t like it. I suck in a sharp breath as he startles me by slowly drawing circles over the bruises and cuts that lace my body. Leaning down into me the bed shifts under us talking our weight like a cloud of air, he kisses each, one by one, sending the chilling waves of sensual arousal over my trembling bones, hating him to see what’s inside I try hard to push the fear to the back of the soul. A souk that is hungry to eat this man alive, suck all that good from him and turn it to ash along with mine, they changed me, once again the great Viper ruined me.

  “Baby you need to stop thinking break out of your mind, you're allowed this, this feeling, this touch, this love.” His breath warm against my skin as he talks. Gently he bites up the insides of my thighs, a small moan escapes my lips, reminding me I am human, I’m a woman, I’m alive, even if it is in the dark. And what he’s doing to me is not a bad thing, me wanting this isn’t wrong he’s not Viper and I am not full of false love. Fuck it I cave and allow him to take me on this ride, allowing the pleasure that he’s about to bring my body seep into my bones, maybe it will set them afire again. With that his fingers pinch into my hips slowly, he pulls me down and into him. I feel his hot breath on the inside of my thigh, shivers fan out over my body, pulling at the sheets I wiggle my ass up to meet him. Knox brings up his hand placing it down on my stomach holding me in place as his lips meet my entrance. My body is alert and alive to the softness of his mouth, and smooth wetness of his tongue, ripples ebb out from deep inside, as he teases and tastes my clit. A sheen of moisture forms over my body from arousal and pain, from my still very there and present injuries, as he takes me up the ladder of arousal. He’s making it hard for me to stay in control of my body and mind, I shouldn’t be this alive after what I allowed my body to go through with them, the dirty sheen I allowed to taint my blood, but I can’t hold it in any longer.

  I spiral down into this treasure chest of sexual energy and relish in the way this man, my man, my very own Assassin Knox Ambrose, devours my body likes it’s his very own wonderland. Closing my eyes I pull handfuls of his hair into my fingers so I can hold him deep between my legs, this is what sex on fire feels like. The deep penetrating force of his tongue sweeping in and out of me gliding over my walls and folds. As his fingers join the party the pace picks up, my breath hitches in my chest, the grip of his hair deepens as his free hand holds the back of my ass cheek pinching just enough to be enjoyable, yet on the verge of pain. My body doesn’t mind a bit. But fuck my ribs are on fucking fire maybe this is a bad idea. Oh, fuck the pain and all rational thoughts. His breath between my legs is so intoxicating, my skin is glowing under his touch, this is the most my body has felt alive in a long time, being with him is an explosive, frenzied, fiercely ecstatic ride that I don’t want to ever get off. Being with this man is all I have ever wanted. Having him touch me, kiss me, love me is all my soul has ever wanted. Pulling him into me harder so his tongue can slip into me deeper, ecstasy washes all over my soul. I buck my body up wrapping my legs around his body I need him to take me. Panting I wiggle deep into him, pulling his head up. His lips are wet with my arousal, licking them his gaze pulls deep at something in my soul. Crawling up the bed to meet my lips with his we fall back together like we were never apart, his body fits with mine like we are made for one another, placing his hands on either side of my head as it dips with his weight, he pulls my lip into his teeth, the air hitches in my chest. Bringing my hands up I grab his perfect taunt ass pulling him deep into me as he releases my lip and starts to bite my neck in tiny nips leading all the way down to my nipples that are standing to attention wanting him, ready for the pleasure he can bring. In this moment, this space of time, I forget about the drugs my body needs and I focus on him, this, as he makes me lose control of all that is around me he’s like a waterfall licking at the fire swimming in my veins. Slowly with each kiss, lick, nip, bite he
takes more and more of her out of me, piecing me back together fractured piece by fractured piece. Kneeling back on his knees he looks down at my full breasts, the nipples standing out strong, slowly he flicks the bud as I bring my hands up and run them over his flat hard stomach. Six of the most amazing abs sit proudly on his torso grazing my fingers over each ab I lick my lips.

  “So hot and aroused baby,” he purrs, looking down at me with hooded eyes. Sitting up with him straddling my legs sends his hard cock to sit nicely to attention on the top of my pelvic bone, bringing my mouth to his my tongue forces his open filling it with mine, the warmth and wetness starts to pool between my legs. Deeping the kiss and pushing my hard nipples into his chest I pull his body back down over mine looking into his eyes never breaking our kiss. I reach my hands between his legs and my body, finding his hard cock I wrap my fingers around it and start to slowly pull my hand up and down over his impressive length. A moan escapes his lips vibrating over mine I slowly ease his length into my opening, teasing him just as much as myself, allowing his head to rub against the warm heat of my entrance. As his eyes roll back in his head I pull harder and faster on him. Moving his hips he meets me movement for movement, his breathing becoming ragged. I like it a lot, the control over his being, his soul, gives me power. Pulling his earlobe into my teeth and biting hard a sharp, I let him know that I feel him. A hiss escapes him, and a primal groan releases from his lungs. My body quivers at the sound, as his lips tenderly grace my neck before moving back to my lips. He bites down nibbling slightly, that’s all it takes for the split to reopen and the taste of metallic blood to tingle the tip of my tongue, sucking in a sharp breath I try not to lose controle as it brings a flood of bad memories. That small thing jabs flashbacks through my body like fireworks on a New Year’s eve, shaking I pull up from him letting his length go sharply.