Unwanted Magic (The Ancient Magic Series Book 3)
Page 3
The Warriors gave way to us allowing us to go first. I stood behind Seima while she kneeled in front of Cyn. He blessed her and soon she was facing Bri. I kneeled before my brother, unable to take my gaze away from my little Sis. My eyes closed briefly, as the feeling of light and love engulfed me, flowing from our Mother Goddess, through my brother, and into my heart. It didn't matter how many times I received the blessing. The feeling was always meaningful and soothing. The flow of love so intense, that it could only exist in our Mother Goddess' heart. I rose and walked towards Bri, seeing her eyes glisten with emotion. I placed my hand over my heart and kneeled before her. Bowing my head, I closed my eyes unsure of what I would experience with her. Suddenly, her hands warmed as they began to glow, my skin tingled, and the overwhelming feeling rushed through me, taking my breath away. The peace engulfed my heart, spreading into every single recess of my being and awakening a part of me that until now I didn't even know existed. A feeling of unconditional love flowed through me, but unlike my brother's blessing, it didn't come from our Goddess it came from Bri. I had never felt anything like it before. It rooted me in place, not that I would ever want to break the connection that was forming between us in this instant. It was eternally binding and pure. My mind became clear, and there was only one thought, one feeling taking control of me as the peace and love grew inside. Devotion. My heart swore loyalty to her in that instant. I vowed to follow her blindly and protect her above all. I knew there was nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for her. I would risk my very essence to reciprocate the absolute love she had just poured into my heart. It was a testament that there was nothing Bri, wouldn’t risk for us.
The peace receded as her hands stopped glowing, yet the feeling of devotion remained. I rose, and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek then hugged her tightly. She welcomed my embrace, and rested her cheek on my chest. Taking a deep breath, I realized how in an instant our relationship had changed. She had been my sister and the woman that had finally gotten my brother to open up and live again. She was the woman Cyn loved, and I loved her too. I would have given my life for her before to ensure my brothers' happiness, but now she was my High Priestess too, and I would give up my eternal existence for her without a second thought. I would honor her and protect her for as long as I existed.
Once they had finished, Cyn & Bri began to walk towards us. Seima and Lia were talking right behind me.
A small group of villagers, standing just outside our reach called our attention. Alena, Kelveen, and Nyle were among them. Were they waiting to be blessed? I thought everyone had been taking care of by the time the Warriors had approached my brother and Bri. Cyn motioned for them to come closer yet they remained at a distance. I immediately noticed the hesitation and attitude towards Bri. I stood next to Cyn, and we exchanged a glance. I wasn't sure what was happening here, but I didn't like their attitude at all.
“Brother, could you accompany Briana and Lia to your hut and begin serving breakfast? I shall be with you shortly.” My brother asked, but there was no way in hell I was leaving. The way they were looking at Bri, their High Priestess was disrespectful, and it was simply pissing me off.
“I will go with them,” Seima said, with a smile. I had no doubt she could see the annoyance rising inside me. “I want to try what Art has made this morning.”
“We will probably have to heat up the food too. We've been here a while,” Lia added, trying to cover the tension thickening in the air.
“Is everything ok?” Bri asked, her gaze focusing on the others.
“I must speak to them, my Goddess. I shall be there as soon as I am able.” Cyn said kissing her. Lia pulled her hand, and they began walking.
My brother and I began to approach them not sure what this whole thing was about.
“She is not our Àrd-shagart.” Kelveen’s words froze us in place. We were stunned, to say the least.
Alena's mouth began to move, as I was sure she was trying to explain what they had meant, but all I could see was red. How dare they say that about Bri? My anger rose as I tried to decipher their words. Cyn spoke and tried to reason with them, but his words were muffled as I remembered everything we had done for these people, our people. He had given up his childhood to become a Warrior, to protect them even before he could truly protect himself. He had risked everything for them. All Cyn had ever done had been for his people. Including almost walking away from Briana's love because he thought it meant putting them at risk.
Nyle’s words suddenly broke through the haze. “…There has never been a woman born from a…”
“You dare question my Brother? You dare call him a liar, after everything he has done for all of you?” I asked perplexed. Nyle closed his mouth at my accusation, and his eyes widened. I took a step forward forcing him to move back.
“Calm, brother,” Cyn said as his glowing hand rested on my arm, the magic flowed through me, instantly helping me relax.
Cyn apologized to them and even attempted to explain what they knew very well by now. Everything had happened too fast. We had found and lost Nels so suddenly. Yet the people that should be the first to understand this loss, were the ones to judge and condemn Bri for how she was dealing with Nels death, and the truth about a world she had been thrown into unexpectedly.
My eyes roamed Cyn's face, and I could see the hurt in him as the people he had given so much of himself to were turning on him at the first sign of change.
“You say you know my brother, that you trust him yet all you show is disrespect. He wouldn’t bring a stranger among us and tell you it’s the granddaughter of The Mòr Sagart. Cynwrig has blessed you and given you a place to raise your families in peace. He has risked his life for you and has taught your children about the Order, about who we are. He has kept our traditions alive. It's true, this has never happened before. Does it then mean that it hasn't been destined to happen? Do you pretend to know more than our Mother Goddess about what our destiny should be?”
The anger rushed through me forcing me to take a settling breath. Disappointment replaced it. I was ashamed at the way they had chosen to behave towards the one person they owed so much to.
“My brother isn't asking you to believe blindly, but didn't you see with your own eyes what Briana did here today? How can you deny it?” The memory of the feeling she had ignited in me returned, and I looked at them wishing I could describe it. Wishing I could share what I had gone through, but I was truly at a loss for words. "It was the most powerful and humbling feeling I have ever felt. One that your own family and friends experienced with her. How can you close your hearts to the truth when it has burst open before your own eyes?”
Alena’s eyes flew behind me forcing me to look back. “Fuck,” I whispered the moment I saw Bri standing behind us. Her eyes were filled with tears.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I never wanted to disturb you. I...” Bri’s voice broke, and she ran towards Cyn's hut.
“Briana has not come here to take my place, but to steady me, to strengthen us…”
Cyn's words muffled, disappearing in the background as my heart began to race. Eisha's beautiful face came into view and instantly mesmerized me. My heart constricted when I saw her features transform with pain. She was hurt just as we were by what Alena and the others had said. I stepped closer until I was by her side. Her eyes briefly settled on mine then she averted her gaze and spoke to the others defending Bri. All I wanted was to pull her into my arms and claim her lips. I was dying to kiss her and make her mine. I wanted to make love to her until the pain was gone from her eyes. The only thing I ever wanted to see in them was joy for the love and happiness I could give her, if only she would allow me.
The pain in her words seeped through my skin.
“Why do you not ask Briana how it felt to hold her grandfather in her arms as he died, trading his life for hers, so the prophecy could come to pass? So she could become the High Priestess destined to complete our Order and guide us into true peace. If you are able to hold he
r gaze long enough to hear the answers, then tell her how you do not believe in her.”
She turned around, and without bothering to look back, she walked away.
CHAPTER 2. A KISS
* * *
"A chara," I called after her as she hurried out of the village. There was no doubt in mind that she was trying to avoid talking to me, she moved as fast as her legs could take her but I wouldn't lose her. Not like this.
She crossed the village’s wards and headed for the trees.
“Eisha. Please…” I begged, feeling the sting of her rejection spread inside me. She had been my best friend long before I first realized I loved her. I needed her in my life. She suddenly stopped, and although she didn't face me, a sliver of hope made its way into my heart. I approached her, standing a few feet away.
“Are you ok, a chara? I haven't seen you in weeks. I've looked for you, but you never answer your door.” The truth behind that statement hurt me. I never imagined she would go out of her way to avoid me this way. I never expected her to close herself off to me when she was hurting. I was the one person that had always been there for her. We always had been there for each other.
“I have been preoccupied with other things, Art. I am all right. You need not worry. I only require some solitude. Please believe me. Everything is well."
Her words were unsure although I knew she had meant to minimize my concern. Her gaze went towards the river. The place she went to when she wanted to be alone and escape from her reality, at that moment I couldn't believe she was looking for a way to get away from me. What could I have possibly done to her to deserve this?
“Are you sure everything is ok?” I asked, stepping closer, fighting against the instinct that told me to let her go. I caressed her arm and noticed a slight shiver run over her body.
“Yes, I am certain,” she lied.
“Then why are you pulling away from me?”
I walked around and found her head low, her eyes were closed and just like before I could see the pain etched on her face. If this hurt her as much as it did me, then maybe I hadn't lost her yet.
“I just want to make sure that you are ok, a chara. I'm here for you like I've always been. I'm your friend. I know you better than anyone. I take care of you, remember? I know you are hurting and that you need me. You don’t have to distance yourself from me.” Her eyes opened, and she looked straight at me. I searched for the love I knew she felt for me. It might not be the one I wanted, but she loved me. I was absolutely sure. “Let me be there for you. That’s all I want.”
Her eyes watered and she threw her arms around me. Sweet relief instantly rushed through me, as I hugged her and held her in my arms after so long. I needed her in a way I could not describe. She hid her face in my neck as she had done so many times before, and clung to me. My arms tightened around her, pulling her closer until there was no space between us. All I wanted was to guide her lips to mine and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe.
The minutes stretched as I held her in my arms and she took from me the comfort she desperately needed. That I needed. I knew that behind the facade she put up, she missed me and needed me as much as I did her. Our embrace calmed the hurt inside me, reassuring me this was where she belonged. She finally lifted her head and tried to take a step back, but I wasn't ready to let her out of my arms. Not yet. The need inside me grew, urging me to tell her that I loved her. To taste her lips. Without thinking, I cupped her cheek, and my thumb caressed her cheekbone. I swallowed as the need overpowered me and I couldn't stop my gaze from going to her lips.
“Do not do this, Art. Please…” She whispered, making me looked at her.
“Do what?” I asked, knowing exactly what she meant, but her eyes seemed filled with doubt. I wasn’t sure I could hold myself back enough not to kiss her.
“Do not kiss me.”
Her words stung. “Why?”
“Because it cannot be. I know the words you are anxious to share. The ones that burn your throat at this moment. I have known for years. You love me just as Phelan did, yet I cannot give you what you want from me, Art. I cannot love you. Not in the way you desire.” I closed my eyes, trying to escape the pain churning in me. “I am broken, a chara. I have lost too much. I am not confident that I will ever be able to love again. The curse I carry is too great a burden to put on someone else. I will not have anyone go through what I experienced with my mother. I am best alone. Please, do not ask me to do this. For all that is good and sacred. Do not kiss me.”
I took a deep breath as her reasons danced in my mind. She was scared, and I understood that, but I could make her happy. I had no doubt. I gently cupped her other cheek, and looked into her eyes letting the need take over me. I was right before. I couldn't hold myself back from kissing her.
“I am not asking you to love me, mo sgòthan. I am not asking anything from you.” She looked at me confused, and I smiled. “I only need you to let me love you. I have loved you all these years, and I have been content with just getting to hold you, to be by your side every day and share moments with you. There is nothing about you that could ever be a burden to me. You are perfect. I just want to be close to you.”
“Art…”
“Let me love you, mo sgòthan," I said, interrupting her. I didn't want to hear any more excuses. "Let me be your man.”
She didn't answer, and I knew that was my chance. My right hand settled on her lower back, and I softly pulled her to me. I cupped the back of her neck and tilted her head as I tried with everything inside me to be gentle. I looked into her eyes trying to contain my hunger for her. I failed. I pushed her back against the tree behind her, pressed my body to hers and claimed her lips in a desperate kiss that had been repressed inside me for way too long.
My lips moved on hers urgently, the thirst begged me to get more from her. I nibbled and sucked her lips as though it was the only thing that could calm this hunger and the only thought in my mind was “I can‘t believe I’m finally kissing her.”
Her arms suddenly wrapped around my neck, and she kissed me back. With need, and the same desperation I felt inside. I could have burst at that moment. Pulling her impossibly closer, I kissed her over and over taking possession of her lips until they were swollen under mine. “Yes.” This is how we should have always been. This is how we belonged. Every inch of me hardened for her with the kiss, with her lips on mine, with her breasts against my chest and my hips pressed against her body. I needed more, so much more.
I released her lips, and she gasped for air. My heart was slamming against my chest as our panting breaths mixed. I brushed my lips on hers needing to kiss her again, and her lips parted in response.
They fucking parted for me.
Fuck, I wanted her so badly. I smiled a second before I claimed her lips again. I tilted my head deepening the kiss, and our tongues brushed against each other softly. I jerked against my jeans. I wanted to be inside her. I was a second away from taking her right here in the middle of the forest, and making her mine once and for all. I bit her lower lip and gently pulled it. Closing my lips around it I sucked it, caressing it with my tongue to soothe it, and she gasped.
The moment she pulled away I knew something was wrong. The bliss that a second ago had filled her eyes so beautifully with my kiss had disappeared and was suddenly replaced by panic. “No, no, no.” I silently begged as I felt reality come back to her and she pulled away from me.
“Mo sgòthan…”
She shook her head, and her eyes had filled with tears. “I am truly sorry, Art. I cannot do this to you. I am not well. I do not know what I need. I know your words are sincere, but I shall not use your love in a mere attempt to calm the ache in my heart. I cannot do this, not to you.”
My heart tore as I watched her turn around and run away from me as she had intended from the start. Had I pushed her away from me even more with our kiss? Had I done this?
“Fuck!”
I roared punching the tree where just a second ago w
e had shared the most perfect kiss. The one that was meant to finally bring us together, not finish tearing us apart. I turned defeated and let my back fall onto three. My body slid to the ground, and I rested my head on my hands, tormented. Blaming myself for what had just happened.
EISHA
* * *
I ran towards the river while the tears slid down my cheeks. The words Asrhia shared with me this morning, after revealing who she was, played over and over in my head.
"You have to confront your fears, and I can help you. It is time to stop hiding. You need to embrace your destiny, Eisha.”
I shook my head, stopping the run and holding my knees. I was panting as the sobs took over. The image of that terrible night, when my mother was taken away from me invaded my mind.
All I could hear were my deafening screams as I tried desperately to wake her.
“Please, mama. Wake up! It is not real, wake up!!”
The tears spilled from her glowing eyes, unstoppable, as she screamed at the top of her lungs. The horror etched her face so dreadfully I was not sure I would ever be able to forget it.
“Please, mama. Listen to me. It is not real. Come back to me. Please, please!!”
She did not listen. She could not. She was immersed in the nightmare she was witnessing. My hands gripped her shoulders, and I shook her violently, trying to wake her. I slapped her cheek, and her head bobbed. I hit her harder to no avail. The trance had her captured.
“Please, mama. Wake up… please.”
Her body began to convulse, and I ran onto the street screaming for help. Nels, our High Priest, ran out of his hut when he heard my desperate plea and came with me. We were too late. Mother laid on the bed, her arm fell over the bed, and her head lay slack. Her eyes no longer glowed, yet they were wide open, the expression of horror and pain was still etched on her face, and her chest no longer moved. She was not breathing.