“I need some more time,” Dominic said.
“It’s not going to change anything. The baby will still be born when it’s due. The doctor said early June. I’m trying to get a family home ready. Come see the house. It’s a bit of a mess right now, but with some renovations it’ll be wonderful.” She outlined some of her ideas.
“What you describe is a boat-load of work to make it habitable. The house is eighty years old. You’ll have to check wiring and plumbing to make sure it’s safe. Even if there are no termites, how sound is the structure? Building codes weren’t as stringent that long ago.”
“I know. I also know the real-estate business. I’ve had it checked out by an engineer. The house is sound, it just needs lots of work. But the beauty of it is how wonderful it will be when all renovated. Really our place—from our own hands.”
“Not ours,” he said, dashing her enthusiasm. “This is your project, from start to finish.”
“You’re not even going to look at it?” she asked, dismayed. She’d thought that once he saw it, he’d offer to help.
“I’ll go see it,” he said.
“Tomorrow?”
He nodded.
“In that case I’ll stay here tonight and we’ll go together,” she said.
It was a small step, but she’d do anything to get back as a couple. It was not going to be an easy sell to him—he would deliberately put up barriers. But, given time, surely he’d come around?
The next morning, it was after nine when Annalise awoke. She never slept that late—or not until recently. She was constantly tired these days, and even yesterday’s nap hadn’t made much of a difference. She dressed quickly. Walking through the flat a short time later, she found she was alone.
The coffeemaker was keeping the coffee hot. She took a cup and walked back to the living room to check outside. It was a beautiful autumn day. The sky was deep blue. She could see the trees below blowing in the wind. Crisp and clear, she expected. A perfect day for Dominic to see the house for the first time.
She hoped it would mend some of the breach between them. Last night had been downright awkward. She sipped her coffee and gazed out at the view of Washington that she loved. She would miss this when they moved.
Nothing had been settled. She still felt the distance between them. He was so unreasonable. Why wouldn’t he at least consider the positive aspects of being a parent?
She called Dominic on his cell.
“Where are you?” she asked.
“I came into work. I’ll be finished in an hour.”
“We can pick up lunch somewhere and eat it at the house. It’s too cold to eat outside, but I have that table and chairs, and the heat’s turned on.”
“I can hardly wait,” he said dryly.
She ignored the trace of sarcasm in his voice. Maybe she’d go over early and get it looking the best it could for his first sight.
“I’ll meet you there,” she said, giving him quick directions. “I’ll pick up sandwiches.”
“Fine.”
Annalise looked at the house more critically than normal when she turned into the driveway, trying to see it as if for the first time. It looked pretty bad. The yard was overgrown and unkempt. Compared to the neighbors’ yards it looked appalling. The peeling paint detracted from any beauty in the structure itself. And that was just the outside.
Nothing she could do about that today. She hurried inside.
She heard his car when he arrived forty-five minutes later. Rushing to the front door, she could hardly wait to show him around. He had to like it!
Dominic got out slowly and did a scan of the yard.
“It needs work, of course,” she said from the porch, feeling defensive. “But I figure Bridget can help us here. You know what a green thumb she has.”
“This place needs a major overhaul. And, once done, how much upkeep will it require?” he asked, walking up the crumbling cement path.
“We’ll put in low-maintenance plants. Hire a gardener to cut the grass. Sprinkler systems on timers. No work at all,” she said quickly. She would not let Dominic’s negative opinion dampen her enthusiasm.
She watched him study the house for a moment. The paint didn’t look its best in the bright sunshine. Maybe she should have chosen an overcast day—or even rain. Dashing inside to keep dry might have been a better plan.
Annalise stepped aside for Dominic to enter. He halted inside, not saying a word.
She closed the door and walked into the living room. “This will be the lounge area. I picture it with comfy overstuffed furniture—all kidproof, of course. I’d love curtains at the windows rather than blinds. And in blues and creams—sort of a country feel. Once the floors are redone, I’d get a big area rug, so it’s warm underfoot in winter.”
He looked at her. “We have modern furniture. Where does that go?”
“That goes with the flat. This would be decorated differently.” She bit her lip as she stared at him. “We’d have to get new furniture.”
He didn’t say anything, but he looked at the floor that needed refinishing, the walls that needed painting, the windows that needed calking.
“Through here is the dining room—complete with table,” she said as she led the way to the next room. The small table she had brought looked silly in the large room. “It needs a larger set, of course,” she said, continuing through to the kitchen.
“This will be a showplace when we’re finished,” she said. “See the window over the sink? It looks out over the backyard. I can do the dishes and watch the kids. And once we get the yard fixed up we can have barbecues for family and friends.”
She looked at him, waiting for his comments.
He looked around, walked to peer out the window. Turning slowly, he looked at her.
“This place is a dump, Annalise. It’ll take tens of thousands of dollars to get it habitable, much less decorated. The kitchen looks like it’s from the 1940s. You have modern, state-of-the-art kitchen appliances in our flat. Why would you want this place?”
“It can be fixed up. It just needs new cabinets, new countertops, new appliances.”
“Flooring, wall-covering, window-coverings and a new back door,” he finished, looking at the old one. “So you spend a fortune to get what you already have now?”
“But the kitchen I have now is not in this house.” She was trying to be reasonable, but Dominic was making her frustrated. Why couldn’t he at least be the slightest bit open to the idea of a house? She wanted one for their baby.
“If the rest of the place is in as bad shape as the rooms I’ve seen, you’ve taken on an impossible task,” he said.
“Look beyond what it is—see what it will be,” she pleaded.
“It reminds me of the house I grew up in. You never saw it, since my dad moved to that apartment when I moved out. No one took care of the yard. My dad was too busy complaining about being stuck in that one-horse town to care about how the yard looked. The wallpaper was faded, having been put up two or three tenants before we moved in. My mother tried to keep the house clean, but it was old, damp, and it always needed repairs—most of which we were too poor to afford. Or my old man didn’t care enough. This is an old house. Best torn down and a new house built on the lot.”
“Our flat isn’t all that new. The building is thirty years old.”
“And it was completely renovated before we moved in. We didn’t have to do anything but bring in furniture.”
“You’re not your father, and we don’t live in some one-horse town. And we have plenty of money to make the renovations.” She could counter every argument he made. Why couldn’t he at least give it a chance?
“I’m not interested in this house,” he said.
She stared at him. “It can be a dream place.”
“Maybe, with enough work. But it’s not my dream place.”
CHAPTER FOUR
ANNALISE blinked at that. She’d never truly considered that Dominic would not eventually come arou
nd to her way of thinking. Now she wasn’t sure. That was happening a lot lately. Where was the man she’d thought she’d married, the man she could read and understand?
“What is your dream place?” she asked, fearing she already knew the answer.
“The flat we bought. Decorated the way we have it,” he said.
“And that’s all—for the rest of your life? That’s all you want?”
She should not be so incredulous. If anyone had asked her a month ago she’d have said their flat was the perfect home. But that had been before she knew she was going to have a baby. Everything had changed. Just as Dominic had predicted.
“I’m hoping there’s a long rest of my life, so I can’t say that’s all I’ll want. But it’s what I want now. I don’t want reminders of the depressing place I grew up. I don’t want to feel tied to a house when I could be flying to London. I don’t want to paint and repair if we could be skiing in Aspen. The thought of mowing a lawn every weekend for the next fifty years is more than depressing.”
Annalise looked out the window at the mess of a yard. She saw through the tangled bushes to a manicured lawn, toddlers running on the grass, she and Dominic sitting side by side as they watched with pride. Of course, that dream took some effort, with his reaction to her pregnancy.
“I’m sorry you see this like the home you grew up in. I see it as it can be—light and airy, and full of the aroma of chocolate-chip cookies baking. Kids running home from school to share their day. Laughter and love, family gatherings—just like my grandparents’ homes.”
“Are you sure you aren’t romanticizing this? I know your parents’ home was old-fashioned and made for children. Good thing, with all they had. But it’s not for me.”
He walked past her to enter the dining room, and stopped at the small table to start to unpack the lunch she’d bought.
When she followed, Annalise decided not to continue to talk about the house. Maybe Dominic would never come around. Maybe she was working on the house to fix it up for another family. Or, once it took shape, would he see it differently? She could consider different furnishings. Have one room like their flat—modern and minimal. She liked the sleek lines of their furnishings. The serene feeling of rooms without a lot of clutter. She could have a family room that housed the deep-cushioned furnishing, one that didn’t need to be picked up every day but had children’s toys strewn everywhere. Keep the two rooms separate.
“I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to be apart,” she said as she sat at the table. “I just want us to be like we’ve always been. If you don’t like the house, let’s consider it my personal project.”
He sat and handed her a paper plate and a sandwich. “One that will take up an enormous amount of time and money. When do you propose we do things together?”
She admitted he had a point. She’d been spending all her available time while he was gone working on the house. And she had not accomplished as much as she thought she would. Everything took longer than she’d estimated.
“When you are home,” she answered. She would have to schedule her renovations for the times he was gone. It would take longer to complete the project, but if he truly wasn’t going to come around before the baby was born, her rush for completion vanished. Did she still even wish to proceed?
He didn’t respond. After finishing half the sandwich, he wrapped the remainder in the paper and stuffed it back in the bag. “I’m done.” Rising, he went to the stairs and climbed to the second story.
Annalise could follow his progress through the rooms from his footfalls. She’d have to think about carpeting on the second floor to help with the noise. They never heard their neighbors at the apartment building.
Her cell rang. It was her brother Sean.
“Hi, what’s up?” she answered.
“I’ve been thinking about your request for help fixing up that monstrosity you bought.”
“Changed your mind?” Things would go so much faster if she had help.
“Not me. Bunny’s brother.”
“A bunny’s brother? Is this a crank call?”
“Bunny is the woman I’m seeing. It’s her brother.”
“The woman veterinarian you are seeing is named Bunny?”
“Yeah, I think it’s kind of cute.”
Annalise didn’t want to tell her brother what she thought. “Her brother can help how?”
“He works in construction. There’s not a lot of building going on now, so he has some free time—a couple of days a week anyway. I met him and thought he was okay. If you want, I can give you his number. I told him you might be calling.”
“What’s his name?” she asked suspiciously.
“Randall Hawthorne.”
At least it was a normal-sounding name, she thought.
“Okay, give me his number. How much money does he charge? I don’t have a lot after buying this place.” She wasn’t going to tell Sean that Dominic was against the project and would not be contributing. She wondered if she could manage it on her own. Did she still want to without his moral support?
Sean quoted her a figure and then rattled off the phone number. “It won’t tally up to much if he only works one or two days a week,” he added.
It sounded like a huge amount to her. But the sale she’d made last evening was bringing in a large commission. Maybe she could jump start the renovations with Randall’s help. Dominic wouldn’t see his old home in this place when it was renovated.
“I’ll give him a call. Thanks. I still wish you’d help me out. You’d come a lot cheaper.”
Sean laughed. “When you have the entire crew there, I’ll come. But I’m not slave labor for you, baby sis.”
Annalise and Lianne were the next in the line of children after firstborns Sean and Declan. Hardly the babies of the family.
She heard Dominic descending. “Got to go,” she said to her brother, and rang off.
Dominic came to the doorway. “I’ve seen it all, and it’s a mess. That bathroom’s horrid. What were you thinking? Forget that—you weren’t thinking. You couldn’t possibly have considered all the expense and effort needed.”
“That was Sean. He’s found a contractor to help me out.”
Dominic stared at her, wanting to understand what had happened to his wife. They’d been married for years—he would have sworn he understood her, that they were on the same wavelength. But this was mind-blowing. How she could rush out to buy this dump and then think it would end up as elegant as her grandparents’ homes was beyond him. There was more work than an entire crew of O’Mallorys could handle in a year. And the upkeep once renovated would be tremendous.
Didn’t she like the way they’d structured their lives? He enjoyed it, and he’d thought she did, as well.
He tried not to resent the baby. He’d been down that road once before. But if not for this pregnancy, things would have continued as they had over the last five years. Fate had a funny way of throwing a monkey wrench into the works. He knew he was in a different place this time. But the past reared its ugly memories and he had a hard time separating the two.
It also annoyed him that she had already lined up help with the project. Maybe she’d come to her senses sooner if she had to do it all on her own. His hope was that the longer she worked on it, the more money she poured into it, the sooner she’d realize what a drain it was and stop romanticizing home ownership. They already enjoyed all the benefits of owning a place, without all the maintenance and yardwork a family home would require.
Some people could see that for themselves. As he had, year after year with his parents. He knew some of his resistance to this house was an echo of his old man’s complaints. Maybe he had cause. Dominic had never seen himself as a landscape gardener/general handyman—which a man needed to be to maintain a home in top shape. He knew from his construction work during college that he was competent enough as a carpenter, but he didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as he liked using his mind to solve computer glitches.
The house wasn’t the only problem. What were they going to do about the baby? The thought sent a shaft of panic blasting through him. That situation wasn’t as easy to ignore as a house. He could feel the claustrophobia closing in. He needed to get away to be able to breathe.
“I don’t know you anymore, Annalise. We’ve been together over six years, married five. And lately you are a total stranger to me.”
She stared at him, her eyes large as she listened to the words. Was she really hearing what he was saying?
“I’m the same,” she protested.
“No, nothing’s the same. So where do we go from here?”
“You keep asking that.”
“Because I never get a satisfactory answer,” he said. He turned and walked out through the front door. Leaning against the railing of the porch, he took in a deep breath of the cool autumn air. She followed him.
“I think we should just take things as they come for now,” she said, standing near him.
Dominic longed to pull her into his arms, to bury his face in the softness of her hair and hold her until his world settled itself. But she was the reason his world was cockeyed. Every time he thought about a baby it made him almost ill. He hated what that said about him, but he couldn’t stop the feelings of claustrophobia that rose whenever he envisioned being tied down again. Having his future ransomed to an infant when he’d worked so hard to get where he was. He didn’t want to grow to resent Annalise or a helpless baby. But if he couldn’t find it in himself to become more excited about the new arrival, things would only get worse.
He had not changed. Maybe that was the key.
Her pregnancy had altered the playing field. He had to decide to accept the situation, or cut and run.
“Maybe we should have a trial separation,” he said at last.
The words tore at his heart. Yet it made sense. They had grown apart, were going in different directions. They might stay together for companionship, or from habit, but the spark of passion that bound them tightly, that made them a couple, had faded. Was that what had happened with them? Did he love her? She’d asked that question last night. He had been unable to shout out a definite yes. That scared him, as well. What were his feelings for her?
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