In retrospect, he doubted it. They had not drawn closer with the impending birth of their baby. And once they’d no longer had that tie, they’d had nothing to say to each other. Some people were obviously wired differently. He wasn’t father material.
He stood and began walking again. Watching families only made him feel more lonely. If he decided not to be part of Annalise’s life, he could do exactly as he wished—but alone. Would that be better than resenting the ties a child presented?
CHAPTER THREE
ANNALISE packed a small suitcase with an assortment of clothing. She included several outfits for work. The majority of the other items she placed in were clothes like jeans and shirts, that could be tossed in the washer after a hard day’s cleaning. She collected a few more items and headed out. She’d had enough of going to work, then home and the house. There was no one to be home for. She might as well save travel time and live at the house.
Her brother Sean had moved the bed from her second bedroom to the house for her last night. He’d been the first in the family to see the place, and had thought she was crazy to try to fix it up.
Maybe she had taken on more than originally estimated, but the house was growing on her. Each room she cleaned, and planned to renovate, seemed to reaffirm her decision. She wanted to bring it to life again. Hear children laughing and running down the steps. Savor the memories they’d make at holidays and birthdays. Make her mark on every inch of the place.
She’d suggested Sean might wish to help, as well, but he’d quickly given her several reasons why he couldn’t. Not that her brother was the handiest man around. He preferred to hire help if he needed anything done.
Once she’d put her things away in the small closet in the bedroom she’d chosen, Annalise sat on the bed and glanced around. She had wanted to paint the kitchen first, but maybe she needed a happy place to stay the night, as well. The faded wallpaper on these walls needed quick removal. For a moment, the tasks facing her were daunting. She hardly knew where to begin.
Dominic would know exactly what to do to bring the house to life. The best she could do was to learn as she went. And daydream about what it could be instead of what it was.
By Friday, Annalise had moved more items into the house—two chairs and a small table to eat at. The television from the apartment guestroom was set up in her bedroom. Bathroom items, extra towels and sheets were essential. Enough pots and pans and dishes to keep her going. She hated to return to the apartment. It echoed with emptiness, and she couldn’t forget for a moment Dominic’s reaction to her news, or the surprising revelation that had rocked her.
“Don’t worry, baby,” she said, rubbing her still-flat tummy. “We’ll be fine.”
One way or another, including the time before they married, when they’d already been a couple, they’d been more than six years together. Now Annalise felt cut loose, on her own. She’d stay awake nights worrying over the future—could Dominic have really meant what he said about the end of their marriage?
She vacillated between determination to make this marriage work and writing off the man she felt she had never fully known. How dare he carelessly throw away five years of marriage? Even suggest it! What about the bond between them? What about love?
It was not a word they used frequently. She loved Dominic. She’d thought he loved her. Her family easily hugged and kissed when seeing each other. Dominic came from a background where that was unknown. She’d recognized that early on, and had gradually, over their years together, come to accept the affections he bestowed as the best he could do.
It had nothing to do with their time making love. He was an ardent lover. She missed the passion in their marriage more and more as the days went by. He had rarely been gone as long as this trip—unless he’d taken her with him.
This time apart gave her an idea of what life without him would be like. And she didn’t like it.
Was Dominic returning?
She had not telephoned him since he’d arrived in San Francisco. When he got back, he’d figure out where to find her. He had her cell phone number. That was all he’d need.
Saturday, Lianne and Tray stopped by before leaving for Richmond. Tray’s uncle had left him a house and they were fixing it up to sell. It was the first time they had seen Annalise’s purchase. Lianne walked through the rooms of the house and said at the end of the tour that she was glad they had far less to do to get their home ready than Annalise did.
“I can put my own design ideas on it,” Annalise said defensively. She was still feeling a tiny bit overwhelmed. She wanted her sister to approve. She wanted backing for the coming confrontation with her husband. If they were to continue, she’d definitely need his help with renovations.
“There are easier ways to make your mark,” Lianne said with twinly candor. “In addition to getting the house habitable, the yard looks as if it’ll take forever to make it useable. Maybe you could rent it out as some horror-movie set.”
“Very funny. I can learn about gardening.” She didn’t have to have everything fixed up in the first six months. But Lianne had a point. The yard was a disaster—nothing like the groomed lawn she could envision her baby playing on.
“Dominic will be a help with the major renovation,” Tray said as he stood on the back porch, surveying the overgrown tangle of plants and shrubs. “He’ll probably need a chainsaw out here, though.”
Annalise kept quiet. Until she knew exactly what Dominic’s plans were, she was keeping silent around her family. Only Lianne knew of any problem. Annalise wanted to keep it that way.
“Is Dominic still in Hong Kong?” Lianne asked. She shivered slightly in the cold and they returned to the old kitchen.
“He’s on the west coast now, checking in with clients in San Francisco and then Seattle.”
“I thought they’d bring him right home,” Tray said. “He’s been gone a lot lately, hasn’t he?”
“I think they are on an economy kick, and want to have him stop by as many clients as possible on the way back from Asia,” Annalise said, making it up as she went. She didn’t want to discuss Dominic until she knew more.
Lianne studied her sister for a moment. For a second Annalise thought she was going to ask an embarrassing question about what she knew about Dominic’s plans. But her sister merely raised her eyebrows and then looked away. Tray apparently knew nothing about what she’d told Lianne, and she was grateful her sister hadn’t shared.
They left soon thereafter, to drive to Richmond. Annalise felt lonely after their visit. They had been full of plans for updating Tray’s house, decorating it to help sell it quickly. Annalise wanted that kind of planning with Dominic. Discussing ideas, selecting colors and furnishings—as they had when decorating their flat.
Instead, he didn’t even know about the house. And, after his reaction to her pregnancy announcement, she was worried how he’d react.
But a child needed a house. She had had several comfortable places growing up—the large home her parents owned, those of her grandparents and the huge house by the sea, misnamed the cottage. She wanted the same for her child.
By midafternoon Annalise was exhausted. She had not been plagued with morning sickness, but she certainly didn’t have the stamina she normally had. A nap every afternoon was coming to be the norm for her to be able to keep going. She lay down on her bed, and in no time was sound asleep.
Her cell phone woke her a short time later.
“Did we get robbed?” Dominic’s voice asked.
“Where are you? Home?” She was groggy from her nap. She sat up on the edge of the mattress, trying to wake up.
“Yes. The bed is gone from the second room, and the television. What else is missing?”
“Cleaning supplies, some clothes. The card table and chairs. It saves travel time if I stay here while you’re gone.”
“And where exactly is ‘here’?”
Annalise took a deep breath. “At the house I bought.”
Dominic utt
ered an epithet. “What house?”
“I was going to talk to you about it, but you’ve been gone a while.”
“Less than three weeks. And in that time you bought a house without mentioning it to me?”
“It’s perfect for children. It has a large yard, it’s in a quiet neighborhood and a good school district. We had the listing, so I took advantage of a great price and bought it.”
“Seems you’ve decided how you want your life to go. Have a good one.” He hung up.
“Dominic—” She was talking to dead air.
She couldn’t have handled it any worse, she thought, lying back down. She closed her eyes and thought of a dozen things she should have said. It seemed as if the only way she knew how make major announcements was to blurt them out. She needed to go to the flat and explain.
Only, she was so tired. She’d had to set her alarm so she wouldn’t sleep through the appointment she had at six. A couple was flying in from New York, and Annalise had lined up two homes for them to view.
She opened one eye to check the time. Not enough to dash home and see Dominic. Not and have the discussion they needed. She’d take the time to rest up, then have a quick shower before meeting her appointment at the office. She’d get home late, but at least she knew he’d be there, and they could talk as long as they wanted.
It was after ten when Annalise returned to the flat. She had another sale to her credit. Her clients had loved the first house, seen the second, and then returned to the first for another walk-through. Annalise had been amazed at how fast the sale had gone. It was a real estate agent’s dream—full list price and financing already approved.
All she thought about on the way back to the flat was that she would be able to use her commission for some of the needed repairs around her house.
“Hello?” she called as she shut the front door behind her. The apartment was dark. Only a light from the den shed any illumination. She couldn’t help comparing Dominic’s arrival this time with his last one. Then he hadn’t been able to wait to sweep her into bed. This trip had produced an unsatisfactory phone call that he had ended abruptly.
“I’m in the office,” he replied.
He sat at the computer and hardly looked up when she entered.
“Hi—glad you’re home,” she said, leaning over to kiss him. He turned his face so the kiss landed on his cheek.
Apparently things had not improved with time to think things through, she thought wryly. He wasn’t the only one to have to think. She’d come up with some ideas herself.
“Home for long?” she asked, slipping out of her jacket and tossing it across a chair.
“Until the next assignment,” he said. “I didn’t expect to see you. I thought you were ensconced at your house. The one I didn’t even know about.”
“If you were home more, maybe you’d know. Or perhaps if you called once in a while.”
“I did call. You were out. At the house?”
“It needs work before we can move in. I was just staying there while you were gone to save travel time and squeeze some work in during the evenings, rather than run back and forth all the time. At least it gave me something to do while you were away. I’ll come home, of course, now that you’re back.”
He looked at her, then glanced around the den. “I have no plans to move in. This is my home.”
Annalise shook her head. “You haven’t seen it yet. It needs renovation, but it would suit a family much better than a high-rise apartment.”
His expression tightened. “I haven’t even gotten used to the idea of there being a baby and now you’re talking about changing everything—like our very home.”
“You weren’t here to discuss this with.”
“You knew I was coming back. What’s the rush?”
“Someone else might have bought the house.” It was unlikely, but Dominic wasn’t to know that. “Besides, I needed something else to think about than the fact my husband had a whole other family he never told me about,” she said.
Dominic didn’t say a word, but leaned back in the desk chair. His gaze roved over her figure, stopping momentarily at her waist. She was not showing. It was too soon for that. What would he think when she was fat and waddling?
He turned back to the computer.
She wanted to smack him. They were having the most important crisis of their marriage and he was ignoring it for work.
She walked over to the desk and pulled a notepad closer, writing down the address.
“That’s where I’ll be,” she said, tossing it into the center of the desk.
He swung around and looked at her. “You’re living there for good?”
“I was just staying there until you came back, but if you are going to ignore me, I might as well stay for good. I thought we could talk when you got home.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Gee—nothing like that comment to kill conversation. I don’t know. How was San Francisco? Was it raining in Seattle? Want to come see the house?”
He rubbed his hands over his face, then stood. “I’ve thought about the situation nonstop all the time I was gone. I can’t help how I feel, Annalise.”
“Feelings and actions are two different things,” she shot back.
“I understand that. I have not acted on my feelings.”
“Which are?”
“Frustration, anger. Dammit, I thought I had my life on track. You’ve derailed it.”
She put her fists on her hips. “Not me, we! I did not get pregnant alone.”
“Neither did Phyllis.”
Feeling instantly deflated, she leaned against the edge of the desk. She hated being categorized with his first wife.
“Did she deliberately become pregnant to keep you there?” she asked. She wanted to know every detail.
“I accused her of that. She denied it. I’ve always had my doubts.”
“You said she asked for the divorce.”
“The reality of the months we were married was far different than any fantasy of marriage. She was no more interested in continuing the relationship than I was.”
“What if the baby had lived, grown up?”
Dominic thought about it for a moment. “She would have been nine now. What grade is that?”
“Third, I think,” Annalise said.
“Hard to imagine.”
“But if she had lived, would you still be married to Phyllis?”
He looked at her and shrugged. “Who knows? I wanted out. She was reasonably content to live there.”
“But we never would have met. Would that be a good thing or bad?” she mused.
“Can you imagine the last six years not knowing each other?” he asked.
She stared at him as she thought through the question. Her life would have been totally different. Would she have been as happy?
“Do you love me, Dominic?”
He stuffed his hands into his pockets, returning her gaze. “Would we be married if I did not?”
“Probably. We’re good together—in bed and out. We have similar likes and dislikes. We have a lot in common, yet enough differences to keep things interesting. Do you love me?” she asked again.
“Is this a trick question? If I loved you, I’d love your baby?” he asked.
“No, but that’s not a bad thought. This baby is part of you, and I’m thrilled we are having a child to be part of us. I thought we had a strong marriage. Now I’m not so sure. What are you going to do about this child? Whether you live with us or apart, you are the baby’s father, and you will have to deal with that.”
“I don’t know if I can,” he said.
She wanted to shake him. If she could be a mother, he could be a father.
“You do have a few months to get used to the idea,” she said dryly. Turning, she went to the door. “Call me when you want to talk,” she said.
“Wait.”
She turned, hope blossoming instantly.
He sighed slightly a
nd inclined his head. “Tell me about this house you bought.”
As an olive branch, it wasn’t much. But she’d take it.
“The sale is still pending. I qualified for the loan on my own earnings and then obtained a rent-to-purchase deal so I could take it on immediately. All the inspections are complete, and the appraisal went through. But I wanted to get started on renovations since I have a time limit.”
He nodded. But Annalise wasn’t sure he was listening. He looked at her, but she wondered if he really saw her.
Or was it Phyllis he saw? Was it Phyllis he was fighting against? She wished she knew for certain.
“I’ve started cleaning every room. And making a list of all I can do and what I need to have others help with. I think I’d like to hire a construction worker part-time. If I can manage the expense. My commission on today’s sale will help. I’m trying to get enough business four days a week to enable me to take an extra day at the weekend for more concentrated time to tackle the various projects.” She’d hoped he’d offer to help.
“I thought you’d enlist the aid of your family.”
“I asked Sean. He sounded horrified. Lianne and Tray are working on getting the house Tray inherited from his uncle ready for sale. And they’ve already asked some of my other brothers, so I’ll have to wait in line. There are only so many weekends. Once their place is done, maybe the boys’ll help me out.”
“I’m sure they will.”
Annalise hated the way the conversation was going. She had more enthusiastic responses from her coworkers. Dominic was not offering any help.
“You’ve been gone for days, and this is the best you can do?” she asked.
He stared at her for a moment, then shrugged.
“Fine.” She turned and headed for the front door. He crossed after her to stop her.
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