Stranger on a Train
Page 26
‘Do you hear what he’s saying? Listen to the words. It’s so true. I’ve been married for nineteen years. It’s my third. It was good for a long time. But for fourteen years now, I haven’t been able to break down the walls between us. It’s like we live on different planets. I don’t know what went wrong. We couldn’t talk. I said I wanted to get away. Have some time alone. It was cool with him, so I took off. Stayed in New Orleans. You see, I wanted to … find myself.’
‘And did someone find you?’
It slipped out. I wished it hadn’t. Her eyes focused sharply on me. She looked awed. ‘How did you know?’
How could you not know? I handed Aaron Someone back to her and she put him back on to her ears.
‘Wow, that’s real smart of you. You understand. Yeah, someone found me. I met a man. I hadn’t intended to. I truly had wanted to be on my own. But there was this young guy. Younger than me. A lot younger than me. But really wise, you know? Like he really knew what was going on in me. He was a lot older in his head than his years. We didn’t have sex. Not full sex. I wouldn’t allow it. I was worried about Aids. I mean, I don’t know him, and I have to go back to my husband. But we were so close, just those few days, and no sex, but so close, it was like we’d known each other for ever. It was like he was my other half. My missing half. He says he wants to be with me. You know, all the time. But I don’t know. I want companionship, you know. He says it’s love. The real thing. And it was amazing how he knew what I was thinking. I’d start to say something and he’d finish my sentence. It was scary. But, I don’t know. I said no. I said I was going home. He was so charming. It scared me how charming he was. I’ll go home and see. I’ll wait and see. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. He knows my name, and how to find me. If it happens, it happens. That’s what I think. Right now, I can’t wait to get home. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know who I am.’
The last two statements were sung – in tune I imagine with Aaron Someone who was having very similar difficulties.
‘Wow, these words. They’re so true.’
Also by Jenny Diski
NOVELS
Nothing Natural
Rainforest
Like Mother
Then Again
Happily Ever After
Monkey’s Uncle
The Dream Mistress
Only Human
SHORT STORIES
The Vanishing Princess
ESSAYS
Don’t
MEMOIR
Skating to Antarctica
STRANGER ON A TRAIN. Copyright © 2002 by Jenny Diski. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address Picador, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
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ISBN 0-312-28352-0 (hc)
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First published in Great Britain by Virago press, an imprint of Time Warner Books
eISBN 9781466853089
First eBook edition: August 2013