Whatever he had been before, she’d washed clean. He hoped he would be worthy of her love, and not just in a physical sense. The shadows of his PTSD would return, he was certain of it. More than a little sadness remained with him, though. They’d have to work through those times carefully, and he prayed for strength to be gentle with her on those days.
But for tonight all that was way off in the future he hoped they’d have. Even though, deep down, he still wondered if he was good enough for her.
Tonight was his opportunity to be the man he wanted to be, loving the woman he knew he had been created to love. And he wasn’t going to walk away.
Ever.
Chapter 18
‡
Julie watched Luke linger just inside the doorframe after the big hinges creaked and the lumbering door boomed shut behind him. With his back against the wood, his hips slung at an angle, he’d raised his chin, peering across the small foyer at her, his lips hitched up on one side, punctuated by a prominent, sexy dimple. He was so drool-worthy in so many ways, but especially because of the way he made her wait for him to walk over to her slowly, letting her anticipate the feel of his arms around her waist and the warm softness of his nourishing kiss.
She smoothly melted into him, brushing her palms up his white shirt and over the knots of nipples she could feel under the starched cotton fabric. His body heat was always set on high. Little beads of sweat popped out on his upper lip and at his temples, and he tasted her slowly, giving her the encouraging moans she longed to hear. Add in the feel of his powerful arms around her, and the combination of sweet manhood and fierce protector made her knees wobble. If only she could spend the rest of her life like this, wrapped in his arms, protected from everything that would dare to invade her space.
The intensity was almost pain, she loved this man so much. And here he was, ready to love her physically, sending her places she’d never been before. Each time they were together she went deeper into a fantasy from which she never wanted to return. God help her if she ever had to get over loving him. She was certain she never would recover.
His slow pace drove her into an erotic frenzy. She needed him inside her, now more than ever. The afternoon had been but a tease. She was ready for the full course dinner, and couldn’t wait to be fully consumed by the smell, the taste, and the feel of him touching her everywhere.
He dropped to his knees after slipping off his shoes. Without touching her, he unbuttoned three of the top buttons of his white shirt, pulling the tails out of his pants, and sat back on his heels with his palms on his thighs, just looking at her. His eyes traveled down her chest to her waist, then lower to the hem of her crinkly chiffon confection of a dress.
He inhaled deeply and smiled up at her.
She wasn’t sure what he was trying to tell her, so she started to raise her hemline with one hand, but he stopped her with his large paw.
“I’ll do it. I want to do it all.”
She leaned back. “Oh, God. You are killing me, Luke. Would you please get your hands, your mouth, something on me, or I’ll die!” She felt the fullness of her breasts in her own palms as she looked into the fervent gaze of her lover, who was letting her squirm in her own juices.
“All good things come to those who wait,” he whispered while he reached under her dress with his right hand. His knuckles rubbed the inside of her leg and then traveled upwards until his fingers touched the satin crotch of her panties. He barely touched her there and it was driving her crazy.
“But why, when we could spend more time in each other’s arms?” she whispered back.
“Meaning you don’t like this?” he said with a lopsided grin, letting one finger slip under the elastic at the top of her left thigh. “Or this,” he said while an errant finger rubbed the length of her labia. Her knees parted and she wobbled.
Slowly his forefinger found her opening. “Or this,” he said, inserting it before diverting his attention to the peach chiffon covering the triangle of her sex. “And what about this?” he said, lifting her skirts and blowing his warm breath onto her pubic bone while he inserted another finger. His tongue followed the trail his fingers had blazed. She arched forward, bracing her hands on his brawny, bulging shoulders, and splayed her knees further apart to give him as much access as she could.
She held the fabric of her skirts up with one hand, watching his curly dark hair and the strong neck and powerful shoulders disappear into her underthings. His hot breath and tongue added fuel to the flames of her own desire. Her fingers sifted through his hair as she presented herself to him. He spoke his hunger with a deep growl that vibrated against her leg while his tongue explored the lips of her folds and took her juices.
“God, Luke,” she sighed. The ache was getting worse, not better, the more he pleasured her. She wasn’t sure she could remain standing.
His bright eyes came out from under her skirts, his lips wet with her arousal. “Just hold your horses, Julie. We’ve got lots of time, sweetheart.” He smiled and all was right with the world.
Standing, he wrapped one arm around her waist and, as she leaned into him, he led her to the bed. Like a life-sized doll, she sat. He kneeled in front of her again and just looked at her. She removed his shirt while he watched her. She undid his belt buckle, and he rose and removed his black trousers, laying them on the overstuffed chair. His red, white and blue boxers made her laugh.
She stood, turning so he could remove her dress. He kissed his way down her spine while he slowly unzipped her, triggering a shiver of pleasure. Her wet panties got wetter.
After removing the rest of their underthings, they slipped into bed. She relished the length of him against her. She raised her arms above her head, inhaled and raised her knees while he made his way down to nibble between her legs again. Although she loved the feel of his hot mouth on her, she wanted him inside and tugged under his arms, encouraging him to climb the length of her body to mount her.
“I want—no, need—you inside me, Luke.”
“Of course. Love being inside you, Julie,” he whispered to her ear.
“Do you have something?”
Luke stopped. Julie could see he hadn’t even thought about it, and he cursed himself silently. He told her he didn’t have anything left and had not thought to stop and get more. He started to pull up. “No, sweetheart. I’m sorry—”
She stopped him. “I don’t care. I need you right now.”
“Julie, this isn’t wise.”
She smiled back up to him. “Just this once, Luke. We’ll be careful next time. Make love to me bare just this one more time. To celebrate. Please.”
She could see he was having second thoughts, but his body was fully engaged. It wasn’t like he was forcing himself on her. He was trying to show he was strong for the both of them, but when she reached around and squeezed his balls she felt him cave into his desire.
“Fuck it,” he whispered.
His hot cock forced her open as he filled her to the hilt in one long thrust which left her breathless and seeing stars. She was urgent to feel him root deep, she wanted him fast and hard.
Her fingers and toes tingled from touching the strong muscles of his back while he worked against her pelvis, sending her falling through the depths of her own desire. She arched and accepted him as completely as she could physically accommodate him. And he wanted more.
He abruptly stopped, scooted down, and tasted her sex. Her clitoris vibrated under the little bite of his teeth as he sucked and played her little nub like an instrument. Her breath hitched, she let out a cry as he growled and swallowed her juices. His fingers worked on her opening, one big thumb working over the gatekeeper of her core until it released to him and he drank her passion.
As if it had renewed his strength he was on her body again, pumping her in long, liquid movements, pausing with their bodies entwined and pressed against each other, only to pull away and then enter her again fully.
The manly breath on her neck and chest, his whisp
ers of passion and need, the way he wanted her hard and demanded she give herself to him without holding back, were consuming her. He was not careful, and it was perfect, because she wanted to be taken—not made love to, but taken.
“Take me with you, baby,” he said as he began a series of thrusts and groans, forcing himself deep. Her internal muscles clamped down on him, drawing him deeper still until something snapped and she was ravenous for him. She pushed him off and quickly straddled him, pushing down his thick cock to feel the full force and length of him against her needy channel. Her bones were rubber as she ground her pelvis against his slim waist. His hands lifted her by the butt and set her back down on him. He sucked in through his teeth, inhaling, and then she felt him explode. She rode his pulsations, and her own.
Their bodies relaxed simultaneously while they watched each other’s faces, listening for their sounds of breathing like wind through the trees. She was lost in the icy blue of his eyes and the enormity of the possibilities she saw there. Their mating had been intense and all-consuming, yet so much more than the physical coupling. The beauty of how this man loved her, used her completely, and how she was able to give herself to him had her emotions spiraling out of control and she teetered on the verge of weeping.
And then she saw he had moisture in his eyes as well.
She lay against him, pressing herself into the nook under his chin, while his huge arms held her secure. Julie felt compelled to say something, but had no clue what it could be. She focused again on the rise and fall of his chest, on the sound of his strong heart thumping, sending hers on a rhythmic dance to match. Whatever was going to be said would have to wait until her head stopped swimming with the smell, the feel, and the sounds of this warrior’s powerful body.
Whatever her destiny, it mattered little what would happen in the future, as long as he held her like he was doing this afternoon. If he loved who she was half as much as his body loved hers physically, she didn’t care the cost to her heart. She gave it to him willingly.
Chapter 19
‡
Luke hoped Julie’s mother didn’t notice the difficulty he had looking her squarely in the eyes, the way he hung his head, pursing his lips together in humble reflection. He really didn’t want to be there. Could she tell? Her dark eyes examined him without showing judgment or approval. She had a stealthy way of watching for whatever he didn’t want to show to make an appearance, very much like interpreters did when they’d bring in a high-level target for questioning. They assessed the women to look for a weak spot in the family they could exploit so they could get their information. He’d seen the look when Kyle relayed to a translator what he was to tell the wife or daughter of a man they were going to take in. The strong women had that stare, holding back judgment, and masking their feelings. But watching, always watching for non-verbal signs their life was about to change.
Julie’s father was a different story. He was protective of his daughter, but seemed to have accepted their new relationship without strings. He was genuinely pleased to see her and be in her happy company. Luke liked that. And Julie was talkative, clearly her father’s favorite.
Julie took the opportunity to rub her palm over his thigh, which Mrs. Christensen noticed immediately, to his embarrassment. She gave him the benefit of focusing on her daughter’s movements under the table and not pressing either of them with a direct glare. Thank god.
He halfway thought Mrs. Christensen had some preternatural sense of smell, and could detect the sex on them both, even though they’d showered right before leaving. He halfway expected her to ask him if they’d been safe, if they’d used protection…and of course they hadn’t. Her lips smiled, but her eyes did not, as though she knew the answer to that question.
Then she probed his past, and managed to dig out things perhaps Stephanie hadn’t told her about living with his parents. She even found ways to find out how Colin was behaving, since he lived in San Diego. She asked about the SEAL Teams.
“When do you deploy next?”
“We never know for sure. There are things in play right now which might require we leave soon, Ma’am.” That got Julie’s attention, too.
“You’re headed to the Middle East?”
“Not sure.” He knew it was North Africa, but he decided to keep it close. He wasn’t sure he’d even tell Julie just yet. And he hadn’t told her he was leaving so soon, either, and felt a little bad about it.
“You guys meet in San Diego, then?” Mr. Christensen asked.
Julie said yes and Luke said no, remembering he’d admitted to meeting her for the first time at the rehearsal dinner.
“We knew of each other, and sort of met,” she gazed into his face, “through Colin and Stephanie.”
Her father nodded but her mother wasn’t buying any of it.
The rest of the morning was strange. Luke really wanted not to be there, even though he knew Julie’s parents had good intentions. He did not like the scrutiny. As if sensing it, Julie told them they had to go. She took Luke’s hand and led him up to the guest room, which used to be Julie’s bedroom.
It looked like Julie had never left. Old posters from her high school days still pinned to the bulletin boards. A poster-sized collage of her friends, some pictures going all the way back to grade school. Her smile was intoxicating as she watched him look around the room, learning about the life she’d lived and how she’d grown up. Unlike his own upbringing, Julie had spent nearly her whole life in one place, and one house. Luke knew more about moving than he ever wanted to. And he recalled how his mother had loved it even less.
Today he found himself missing her. She would have been happy for Stephanie. She’d be curious but happy for Luke, too, perhaps a little amused by how they’d gotten together. What would he have told her, anyhow? “Met a girl at the beach, and, well—” He stopped because he didn’t know what he’d say to her, or if she’d approve. His relationship with his father had never progressed into a loving one since he was gone for so much of Luke’s childhood on deployments. He’d made a promise to himself he wouldn’t put a child of his through then when it was his turn to settle down.
“You like my room?” She snuggled up and accepted his arms about her waist.
“I like, Julie, but I’d like it a lot better if we were naked somewhere so when I make you come it won’t disturb your parents.”
She grinned up at him. Yup, he thought. It was a pretty good line.
After collecting her things from the cottage and securing the property, they visited Nick Dunn while Devon was at work. Luke was disappointed he wouldn’t be able to introduce the two women. Nick began to explain they had just optioned the former neighbor’s fifty acres of prime vineyard.
“Where’d you get hold of that kind of money, Nick?” Luke wanted to know. “Certainly not on a SEAL’s salary.”
“Amen to that, brother. Devon sold her condo and we used the proceeds to build the new house, and then used some of the money for the option. Got ourselves a little ‘LLC,’ so you’re welcome to pitch in if you want.”
“Afraid I can’t help you there, Nick. Shoot, I’ll bet Libby’s parents would love to invest here,” Luke said, referring to Calvin “Coop” Cooper’s wife’s family.
“Already in. And we caught a break with the relatives of the former owner, who is now serving a ten-year sentence for his involvement in my sister’s death. He needed money for legal fees, and his sons gave Devon the option without much of a fight. The woman is amazing.”
“Yes, she is,” Luke said as he lovingly glanced at Julie, who blushed.
Julie walked outside to view the gardens Nick and Devon had planted on the old nursery property, while Luke lingered in the doorway, watching her.
“She’s beautiful. A keeper, Luke. You okay?” asked Nick.
“Fuck, no. We just reconnected yesterday at the wedding. I’m taking it slow,” he lied.
“Sure you are, you horn dog. I can see how slow you’re going,” Nick said as he swivele
d his hips in Luke’s direction. “When you get back, you keep up with the meetings, and make sure you ask for medication if you get strung out or get to feeling weird. Okay?”
“Yeah, I’m doing okay so far.”
“Don’t mess with it, Luke. Stay connected to the community.”
“Shut up, Nick. I got this part.” But Luke understood how fragile the thread was. He’d felt fuckin’ great the last twenty-four hours, but the shadows could descend on him again without warning. He told himself Julie was helping keep the demons at bay, and that being with her was the best thing he could do for his mental health.
Miss Fresh Face looked radiant while she made her way through the gardens to the two SEALs waiting at the back door. Dressed in jeans and a big shirt, she looked like she belonged in the middle of the waving flowerbeds and bright sunlight. He’d reveled in the beauty of her mom’s gardens and realized, sadly, she’d be disappointed to see his hole of an apartment, which didn’t have gardens, not even a balcony or ocean view. He wondered if she’d ever fit in with his lifestyle, since it would be very different from what she’d grown up with.
“This is a piece of Heaven,” she said to Nick.
“I’ve said the same thing myself. My sister was very happy here, until she got sick.”
Luke watched Julie frown and peer at her toes.
Nick brought them inside and poured fresh coffee. “I’m sorry Devon couldn’t be here. She works most Sundays, with open houses and such,” Nick began. “She’ll be sore she missed Luke,” he said as he wiggled his eyebrows. “If I didn’t know better…”
Luke felt himself blush. Devon had a way of being so direct it embarrassed him sometimes. Julie was just like her.
SEAL Brotherhood 06 - SEAL My Destiny Page 11