The Cow Poo Treasure Hunt
Page 6
You won’t believe what happened next. I don’t believe it myself. But it really did happen. If you don’t believe me, ask McKelty.
Just when I had lost all hope, and was about to plop down in the muddy field next to McKelty and wait for the animal who had been stalking us to eat us alive, it occurred to me that I hadn’t heard its call in a while. And just when I realized that, a flash of lightning split open the sky. In that one-second flicker of light, I saw a small orange shape ahead of us. An animal … with a crooked white moustache.
It was my old buddy, Alnor the Orange! He must have slipped off the minibus before it left for the night.
Lightning flashed right over our heads. Thunder exploded.
“We’re lost for ever,” McKelty wailed.
“No, we’re not. Follow Alnor! My spirit animal will show us the way. Come on, Alnor, lead us back to camp!”
Alnor looked at me again, then sprang on ahead. I followed, and McKelty had no choice but to run after us.
As soon as we arrived back at camp, McKelty dashed into Miss Adolf’s tent, holding my phone.
“It’s OK, Miss. I’ll save you,” he said.
I went over and patted Miss Adolf on the shoulder, leaving a very interesting hand print.
“What’s that smell?” she moaned.
“Fresh air, Miss,” I said.
She made the dentist-suction-tube sound again and passed out. Her stomach continued to vibrate, though.
Meanwhile, McKelty was on the phone with the authorities. “We need an ambulance! Where are we? Um … we’re—”
I grabbed the phone out of his hand. In my mind, I saw my landmark map. Bridge … brownish tree … waterslide park … golf course…
The operator had no trouble translating my map and sent an ambulance right away. While McKelty stayed with Miss Adolf and wiped her brow and massaged her feet, I went out into the night with a torch and Alnor. We waited by the side of the road for the ambulance.
All the paramedics called me a hero. One even gave me a surgical mask to wear. As they were carting off poor Miss Adolf on a stretcher, she briefly came to, caught a hold of McKelty’s arm and whispered to him, “Smuggling in a phone. Cheating… You failed…”
McKelty protested, but it was no use: Adolf was out cold.
“I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS, ZITZEEERRRRRRRR!” he cried.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Dad came and got me from the hospital, where my paramedic friend, Omraam, had been nice enough to find me a shower, a clean pair of junior-sized scrubs and five pairs of surgical gloves, just for fun.
Omraam also asked if Alnor could come home with him, since his latest cat, Harley, had just kicked the bucket. Considering the likely carnage of a cat-iguana household, I bid adieu to my little orange friend with the white moustache, and went off with my dad in his car.
We headed to a nearby cafe for a well-deserved breakfast of pancakes and sausage with a side of bacon, and polished it off with a tall glass of orange juice.
“Here’s the hero,” my mum cried as I came into the flat later that morning and threw myself onto the sofa. “You passed Survival Camp!”
“No, not exactly.”
“As far as we’re concerned you passed,” my dad said. “With flying colours.”
“You can go off with your friends whenever you want. And maybe we were being a bit over… We just missed you. We missed both of you too much! You have no idea how lonely we’ve been without you.”
My mum squeezed a blanket-covered shape in the corner of the sofa. Glasses poked out of it, along with two yellow lizard’s eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “Ever again. Have you seen what’s out there?” I shivered as I remembered the wailing beast and the thunder and … the cowpats. “The world’s a dangerous place. I’m staying here for at least two weeks.”
“Come on, Hank,” my dad said. “Shopping’s hardly survival camping…”
“It’s worse,” Emily said, emerging from her blanket cocoon to stroke Katherine. “Believe me, Hank. I’ve seen what the public are like. They’re monsters! I’m staying here with you and my little Katherine… Yes … what a sweetie face…” And she started making nauseating kissy-kissy noises.
“Well,” my mum said, “anyone want to play a board game?”
“I’m in,” I said.
“Me too,” Emily said.
“Great,” said my dad. “Hank, would you care to microwave us a bag of popcorn?”
“I’m your man,” I said, and set the microwave for “charred”.
Hank is playing the King of Siam in the school play, but a costume disaster on opening night threatens the whole show. Can best friends Frankie and Ashley save the day?
Hank is writing his autobiography for Mr Rock (best teacher ever!) and has a crush on a cute girl called Zoe. Life is good … until Hank finds out that Zoe is the cousin of his nemesis, McKelty.
When Hank enters his dog in a show, he hopes to win the big prize. Unfortunately, his sister, Emily, has also entered with her creepy pet iguana. May the best tail win!
Hank’s mum is pregnant. How could she do this to him? One annoying sibling is enough. Hank definitely did not order this baby!
Hank Zipzer the World’s
Greatest Underachiever series
by Henry Winkler and Lin Oliver
The Crazy Classroom Cascade
The Crunchy Pickle Disaster
The Mutant Moth
The Lucky Monkey Socks
The Soggy School Trip
The Killer Chilli
The Parent-Teacher Trouble
The Best Worst Summer Ever
The Ping-Pong Wizard
The House of Halloween Horrors
Who Ordered this Baby? Definitely Not Me!
The Curtain Went Up, My Trousers Fell Down
A Tale of Two Tails
The Life of Me (Enter at Your Own Risk)
The Colossal Camera Calamity
(written by Theo Baker)
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or, if real, used fictitiously.
All statements, activities, stunts, descriptions, information and material of any other kind contained herein are included for entertainment purposes only and should not be relied on for accuracy or replicated as they may result in injury.
First published in Great Britain 2015 by Walker Entertainment, an imprint of Walker Books Ltd, 87 Vauxhall Walk, London SE11 5HJ
Based on the television series “Hank Zipzer” produced by Kindle Entertainment in association with DHX Media Ltd.
Based on the screenplay The Cow Poo Treasure Hunt.
Reproductions © 2014 Hank Zipzer Productions Limited
Text © 2015 Walker Books Ltd
Cover by Walker Books Ltd
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, taping and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data:
a catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978-1-4063-6389-0 (ePub)
www.walker.co.uk