Envious

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by Cheryl Douglas


  “I guess I don’t have to ask why.”

  Katie was so taken aback by the disdain in Lucy’s voice that she had to take a moment to collect herself. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I saw Chris leaving your house the other night.”

  Chris had snuck out sometime before dawn because he didn’t want Hannah to wake up and find him there. Katie wasn’t embarrassed for their neighbors to know they were seeing each other, even if some of them questioned the timing and propriety of their relationship. She was trying to take a page from Chris’s book and let go of other people’s judgements. “I see.”

  “I was working the three to three shift.” Lucy crossed and uncrossed her long legs. “He kind of startled me when I heard footsteps behind me. I’m usually the only one out in our neighborhood at that time of night.”

  Katie knew Lucy was just stalling before she lowered the boom. By that time the next day, the whole neighborhood would know they were sleeping together. Her only concern was how the gossip might affect their business. The local mothers were often cliquey.

  “I asked him if he was coming from your place.” She reached for a bottled water from her reusable shopping bag and took a long sip. “He said he was.” Katie was torn between cursing Chris for not thinking of an excuse and admiring him for being honest. Lucy glared at Katie. “I asked him if you two were a couple now. He said he hoped so.”

  A little flutter in Katie’s belly eased her embarrassment. Chris was willing to go to the mat to defend what they were building. She had to be willing to do the same. “He’s a great guy. I’m lucky to have him in my life.”

  “You have no idea,” Lucy muttered, crossing her arms.

  “Excuse me?” Katie could understand her neighbors being judgemental, but she couldn’t make sense of Lucy’s hostility.

  “I thought Chris and I were getting somewhere, then you had to come along and ruin everything.”

  Katie was too stunned to respond. Lucy and Chris? Was that even possible, or was Lucy just deluding herself? “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “We were seeing each other.” She looked around to make sure they were alone. “In fact, we were sleeping together.”

  Katie felt as if someone knocked the air out of her. “I had no idea.” She had no reason to believe Lucy was lying. It would be too easy to disprove her claim by asking Chris.

  “Yeah, well now you do.”

  “I didn’t mean to…” Katie had no idea what to say or how to respond. Chris obviously wasn’t serious about Lucy. If he were, she would have known about their relationship, but that didn’t discount their intimacy or the fact that her neighbor felt she had a claim on the man. “I’m sorry you’re so upset. That was never my intent.”

  “I know.” She sighed as she crossed her arms. “I’m not blaming you. I know you didn’t set out to seduce him or anything.” Lucy looked at her out of the corner of her eye. “Did you?”

  “Of course not!” Women threw themselves at Chris all the time. The last thing she wanted was to join that club. She thought they had something special, but if he couldn’t be honest with her, she had to wonder if she was deluding herself about a future with him. She couldn’t afford to get her heart broken, not with a daughter depending on her to keep it together.

  “Sorry, I just…” Lucy closed her eyes, struggling to find the right words. “I’ve had feelings for Chris for a while. Ever since Courtney left. We’d always been friends, but when she left, I could tell he was wrecked. He needed a friend, and I was there for him.”

  Thinking about Chris turning to another woman for comfort hurt, but Katie wasn’t naïve enough to believe he’d been celibate since his divorce. Still, if he’d been seeing a mutual acquaintance, he could have at least told her so she wouldn’t have been blind-sided.

  “He said he wasn’t ready for another relationship, but I thought we were getting somewhere. We were spending more time together, and like I said…” She shifted, looking uncomfortable. “We were intimate. I assumed he was ready to take our relationship to the next level. Then I see him leaving your place, and now I don’t know what to think.”

  Lucy wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what to think. “I guess there’s only one way for either one of us to find out what the hell’s going on—ask the man himself.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chris could tell something was bothering Katie. She’d arrived late and had barely said more than a few words to him. At first he thought she wanted to keep a low profile because of Hannah, but he sensed there may be more to it than that. She was radiating hostility, and for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what he’d done to warrant it.

  “Mommy, can I please spend the night with nana?” Hannah asked, folding her little hands. “Please, please, please.”

  Liz laughed and winked at her daughter across the table. “I don’t mind, honey. Besides, it’ll give you some time to study.”

  Katie looked hesitant. “Fine, if you’re sure. Do you need to pick up a few things from my place?”

  “No, that’s okay,” Liz said. “I still have some of her things from her last visit.”

  “Yay!” Hannah said, high-fiving her little cousin, who was seated beside her.

  Chris ruffled Bianca’s hair and pulled her into his lap. He sensed she felt a little envious that she wouldn’t be part of their sleep-over. Bianca and Hannah were close, but their slight age difference meant that Hannah was often the leader and Bianca was left trying to get her attention. Bianca rubbed her eyes and turned into her daddy’s chest. He glanced at his watch. It was getting close to her bedtime, and he knew Courtney was strict about keeping her on a schedule.

  “I can clean up,” Katie said, as though reading his thoughts. “Why don’t you take Bianca upstairs?”

  “Are you sure?” He hoped that meant she was softening toward him. The only thing he could think of that might have angered her was that he’d had to bail on their plans last night. He’d thought of tapping on her door when he pulled into his driveway, but her lights were out, so he decided to let her rest.

  “Sure, we’ll help,” Cassidy said as she and her mother got to their feet.

  “You guys are my guests.” Chris stood as Bianca wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. “I feel bad sticking you with the clean-up.”

  Cassidy laughed. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll let you clean up the next time you come to our house for dinner.”

  “It’s a deal,” Chris said, grinning.

  The dinner had gone smoothly, except for the tension between him and Katie. Her mood had negated his intentions for the evening. He wanted her family and his daughter to get used to the idea of them as a couple. He didn’t even know if they were on the same page about their relationship anymore, and that worried him more than he cared to admit. He’d come too far to lose her.

  Chris made sure Bianca brushed her teeth thoroughly after the chocolate cake she’d had for dessert. He knew he should have insisted on a bath, since that was another one of her mother’s rules, but she could barely keep her eyes open. He decided to tuck her in with a story about princesses and a kiss goodnight, knowing he would probably hear about it from Courtney if Bianca let it slip that he’d let her go to bed without a bath, but he couldn’t summon the energy to care about what his ex-wife thought while the woman downstairs was monopolizing his thoughts.

  By the time he made it downstairs, his guests were gathered at the front door, waiting for him. “Thanks for coming, guys.” He shook Drake’s hand.

  “It was our pleasure,” Drake said, smiling. “Dinner was great, by the way. You’re going to have to tell me where you got those steaks.”

  “I could.” Chris smiled as he leaned in to kiss Cassidy’s cheek. “But then your wife would expect you to grill them the way I do, and we all know that would just lead to disappointment. It’s best to stick to the low-grade stuff so you can blame your atrocious grilling skills on the m
eat.”

  Drake laughed and slapped his back. “Okay, smart-ass.”

  “Language,” Cassidy said out of the corner of her mouth as she elbowed her husband gently.

  Chris hugged the little girls before kissing Liz’s cheek. “I’m glad you could make it, Liz. It’s always a pleasure to see you.”

  She patted his cheek and gave him a sweet smile as she stole a glimpse at her Katie out of the corner of her eye. “I hope you can figure out what’s bothering this one.” She was careful to speak loud enough for only Chris to hear.

  “I’ll do my best.” He was stunned when Katie started to follow her family outside. He reached for her wrist. “Can I talk you into having a coffee before you head out?”

  After a longing glance at her sister’s back, she said, “I guess so.”

  They stood at the door and waved good-bye, fake smiles plastered on their faces until Drake’s Escalade was out of sight. Chris closed the door. “You want to tell me what the hell’s going on with you? You’ve been miserable all night. If this is about me bailing last night, I told you I had a—”

  She held up her hand to silence him. She wrapped her arms around her waist and glared at him. “It’s not that. You have no idea why I might be upset?”

  He could tell he was supposed to know, but he was clueless. Wracking his brain, he tried to come up with something he may have said or done to set her off. “No, I don’t. Are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?”

  “Are you sleeping with anyone else?” Her eyes narrowed as she searched his face for signs of deceit.

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “We should take this into the other room,” she said between clenched teeth. “I don’t want to wake your daughter.”

  That meant she was pissed and intended to let him have it, but she wasn’t the only one struggling to rein in her temper. He’d never given her reason to doubt him, and he didn’t think he could continue their relationship if her experiences with the wrong men made her doubt his feelings at every turn.

  She led him into the kitchen and braced her back against the granite countertop. “Care to tell me about your relationship with Lucy?”

  “Lucy? As in my next-door neighbor?” Uh oh, he knew where that was going. She must have told Katie they’d been seeing each other. It wasn’t an outright lie, but it was an exaggeration.

  “Do you know any others?” She shook her head, a look of disappointment crossing her face before she reclaimed the mask of indifference. “I can tell by your face there’s a story there.”

  Chris sighed and braced his hands on the back of a kitchen chair. He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her that Lucy meant nothing to him, but he knew she wouldn’t welcome his touch. “We’ve had dinner together a few times. We’ve never gone out, just pizza and a movie at my place.” He could tell he hadn’t convinced her. “She usually catches me when I’m getting home from work. I’m tired and haven’t eaten, so when she suggests ordering in, I figure, what the hell? She’s good company, a friend.”

  “A friend? Do you sleep with all of your friends?”

  Closing his eyes, he took a moment to collect himself. He didn’t have to tell Katie about every sexual encounter he’d ever had, but she and Lucy were neighbors and friendly acquaintances. “It was one time, babe. New Year’s Eve. The Callahans had a party, and we both went. I’d had a few too many, and she walked home with me. She came in and…” He felt the heat rising up his neck. The last thing he wanted was to talk to the woman he loved about a meaningless one-night stand that had happened over six months ago. “We had sex.”

  “I see.” Her lips were pinched, and she looked down at the brightly painted toes peeking out of her flip-flops.

  “It meant nothing. I swear to you.”

  “It meant something to her. She has feelings for you.”

  That didn’t come as a complete surprise. Lucy had come on pretty strong after their night together, and he’d had to tell her in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. “I’ll talk to her, tell her that you and I are together now and it’s just not gonna happen for us.” He hoped that would be enough for Katie to just let it go. He wanted to make the most of their time together, not waste it talking about a woman who meant nothing to him.

  She looked at him, her eyes swimming with tears. “Maybe you should think twice before you do that.”

  His stomach lurched when he saw the pain in her eyes. “Don’t do that.” He knew the door of opportunity was closing, and he had to wedge his foot in before she closed it completely. “Don’t even think about shutting me down again. We’re good together. You know we are.”

  “Maybe she’s better for you. She doesn’t have my history. She’s not facing a divorce and—”

  “I don’t care about any of that,” he said, trying to combat his mounting frustration. “I want you. I don’t give a damn about her!”

  She recoiled when he raised his voice. “I should go.”

  “Damn it, don’t go!” He knew he had to get his temper under control, but it wasn’t easy when he thought about how far they’d come and how much he stood to lose. He’d thought making love had been the beginning for them, and she was confronting him with the end instead. He wasn’t ready to face that. He didn’t think he ever would be. He wanted her, not just for a day or a month or a year, but forever. “You need to stay. We need to talk about this.”

  “Not tonight,” she said, taking a few steps toward the back door. “We will, I promise. I just need some time to think.”

  That was the last thing he wanted to give her. He knew she would list all of the reasons she was all wrong for him, and before he could convince her otherwise, she would decide she was through with him. “What you need to do is stay here and talk to me. That’s what people in healthy relationships do when they have a problem, they communicate.” He wasn’t helping his cause by being condescending, but desperation was clawing its way to the surface. He hated feeling so helpless.

  Without another word, she walked out the door for what he feared may be the last time.

  ***

  Chris tried to put on a brave face with his daughter the next morning, but it wasn’t easy. He’d barely slept, and he was counting down the minutes until he could go over to Katie’s house and talk some sense into her. Courtney rang the doorbell at the appointed time, and he scooped up Bianca so he could answer it. He rubbed Bianca’s nose with his own. “There’s your mommy.”

  She giggled and pinched his cheeks. “You’re silly.”

  “So are you.” He laughed and opened the door, his face falling when he saw the sober expression on his ex-wife’s face. He knew that look. Something was wrong. His eyes traveled to the late model Volvo in the driveway as he set Bianca on the ground and reached for her hand. He couldn’t say why, but he felt the need to hold her just a little tighter.

  “Good morning,” Courtney said, faking a smile for their daughter’s benefit as she reached for a hug. “How’s my little princess?”

  “Good. Daddy made me a pancake for breakfast.”

  “That’s nice,” Courtney said, eyeing Chris over their daughter’s shoulder. “Honey, Charles is going to drop you off this morning.”

  A frown marred Bianca’s angelic face as she looked from one parent to the other. “How come?”

  “Your daddy and I have a few things to discuss before I head into work.”

  Chris’s stomach clenched. “What kind of things?” They were finally settling into a routine he could live with. If she was going to propose a change, he wouldn’t like it. He didn’t see Bianca enough already. If Courtney was going to propose less time, he’d have no choice but to contest. He didn’t want to assume the worst, but the only thing he and Courtney had in common was their daughter. If she wanted to talk, it had to be about Bianca.

  Courtney’s tight smile told him she didn’t intend to answer his question in front of their daughter. “Give daddy a kiss, and I’
ll walk you to the car, okay, sweetie?”

  Chris leaned down to hug his daughter, barely resisting the impulse to hold her until she wriggled out of his arms. “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Be a good girl. I’ll call you tonight.”

  “Love you, daddy.”

  “I love you too, Bianca.” More than you’ll ever know. He handed Courtney the bright pink and purple backpack containing Bianca’s most treasured possessions. He tried to read her expression. Her face remained neutral, which only made him more nervous. What the hell was going on?

  “I’ll be right back,” Courtney said quietly as she reached for Bianca’s hand. She led her down the driveway toward her husband’s waiting car.

  Charles got out and opened the door for them, raising his hand in greeting to Chris. Even he looked uncomfortable. Chris didn’t care for Courtney’s husband, probably because he had been one of the many reasons their marriage fell apart, but he had to tolerate him for his daughter’s sake. When the car drove away, Courtney walked up the stone path, squaring her shoulders before she looked him in the eye. No question about it, she was trying to work up her nerve to talk to him about something important. But what?

  “Can I get you a cup of coffee?” he asked, feeling the need to stall.

  “No, I’m fine.” She offered him a weak smile. “I have to get to work soon. Fortunately, it’s a nice day. Since it’s only a few blocks, I can walk.” She used to walk to the bank from their home every day.

  “Are you gonna tell me someone died, or what?”

  Courtney’s head snapped up. She appeared shocked by the question. “What? No! Why would you ask me that?”

  “I’ve known you a long time, Court. It’s not often I’ve seen you look so miserable.”

  She sighed heavily as she stepped past him into the foyer. “I’m not going to lie. I’ve been dreading this conversation.”

  “Is it Bianca? She’s not sick, is she?” She’d seemed fine, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t missed something.

 

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