by T. J. West
I squeeze her waist and lightly tug the strand of her hair. “I didn’t spend it like you think. I donated it toward a drug and rehabilitation center.” I cup her face, swiping my thumb across her cheek. “I could never, never use that money for my own good will. I’d never do that to you. I never cared about that shit. I only cared about you—only loved you.”
She leans into my palm. “I wish you never took it. I could have done something.”
“Faith. . . . you know how your father was. He’d do anything to protect what is his, even if that meant hurting you—which he did. I am so sorry. . . . about everything.”
If I could take everything back I would; her father made one hell of a mess playing with our lives and emotions the way he did. You must be one sick fuck to do that to people.
Faith lays her chest upon mine and begins to trace my tattoos from my left bicep. It brings back so many memories for me—happy memories when she used to do that. I love the way she focuses on each picture, each true meaning behind them, I always wonder what she is thinking when she does this.
“I have been so numb for the past five years. I never let myself get close to anyone. You’re all that I wanted and there would never have been anyone else.”
“I was exactly the same way.” I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her body. I breathe into her hair, inhaling her freshly washed silk. “God, Faith, can you ever forgive me? I need you to forgive me.”
She looks into my eyes, showing me a glimmer of hope with her gorgeous ocean view. “Yes. . . . .I forgive you.”
I wanted to drown inside her body because she has given me a reason to live again, to be who I have always wanted to be—a man with pride, dignity and a wealth of love. I couldn’t wait to begin to live exactly that way again. I grasp onto her ass and sink my protruding cock right back inside her body—I never wanted to leave it; she’s a song which will never stop playing, a beat in my heart that will never stop thumping and a tune that I’ll never get tired of hearing; her moans and heavy breathing is the music to my ears—such a sweet sound—and her hands are her instruments, dancing to the rhythm of our movements, touching my every aching spot, licking my throat, kissing my mouth and tongue, talking dirty in my ear, and fucking me to the moon and back. Yeah, Faith is it for me.
Once we settle down again, I tell her about my mom and her death. It’s not something I wanted to talk about, but Faith needed to know.
I am cocooning her, enjoying the warmth we are giving one another, it’s hard to imagine the last five years without her. I must have been in some kind of trance, living my life in a state of sleep. It aggravates me that I let us be separated—only now I need to move forward and live without being in a trance anymore. I am fully awake.
“I am so sorry, how awful,” she kisses my knuckles.
“I am too . . . not much I could have done though,” I shrug. “I knew it was going to take her, it was just a matter of when.”
“I wish I was there for you during that time.”
“I know, but it’s okay. I’m okay. I had Danny, the band, so I was good. That part of my life is over. The part I am living, right now, is naked in my arms. That’s all I want, baby,” I say and kiss the back of her head, holding her tight. She turns back around and lays a big, slow, wet kiss on me and rubs her nose along mine.
A few moments later she tells me, “My father is dying.” I don’t say anything at first because I’m a little shocked. “Yep,” she shrugs and not too much emotion in her voice. “Lung cancer. My mom says it won’t be long.”
I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does. I know we both hate the guy, yet at the same time it’s her dad and I don’t want to see her upset—is she even upset? Is she going to go see him?
“You going to go see him?” I ask.
“I didn’t want to, but I am. Mom says he’s changed.” She laughs out loud un-humorously, “Yeah, like that would ever happen.”
On a spur of a moment I say, “I’ll go with you.” She gasps and was about to say something, when I shut her up with a kiss and placed my finger over her lips. “Ah, before you say no, I want to tell you that it’s the right thing. . . . for you seeing him. But I want him to see me with you, us, together. He didn’t win Faith and he needs to see that. And yeah, it’s rubbing it in his face, but I don’t give a shit. . . . I don’t. He’ll die knowing he lost the one true battle he thought he won. Okay?”
Faith nods her head and covers her sweet bow tie lips over mine and kisses me—that is until we hear a bell at her door.
“Shit! My mom!” She scrambles out of bed and quickly puts on a pair of yoga pants and t-shirt. I laugh at how cute she’s behaving and she throws a pillow in my face, demanding me to get my ass up. I continue laughing while gathering my clothes and get dressed.
She flattens out her hair before she opens the door. I silently chuckle seeing her get this riled up. I know I should be more nervous about meeting her mom again, yet I don’t feel nervous at all. I believe her mom actually liked me. If she hadn’t she sure made it look like she did. I stand behind Faith as she hugs her mom; she’s a stunning woman and I can now see the resemblances Faith shares with her. “Mom, you remember Lucas Jones?”
“Yes, I do,” she smiles, and holds out her hand. “Hello Lucas. Or shall I call you Lucky?”
I take her hand and shake it. “Lucas is fine. How are you Mrs. Montgomery?”
“Please, call me Helene. And I’m fine thank you.”
“Glad to hear that.” I’m thinking this is my cue to leave. “Well, I should get going.”
“No, please, don’t leave on my account. We can all order breakfast?” Helene suggests.
“Thank you, but I need to get to rehearsal.” I sneak Faith away for a second and give her a small kiss. “See you later?”
She nods her head and smiles that perfect beautiful smile. “Yeah.”
I give her one more kiss, wave to Helene and go to rehearsal. I had four text messages from Danny and Jason asking when I was coming into the studio—time to get to work.
Rehearsal was great, I was great, life was finally fucking perfect. Right after I left the hotel I made an appointment to get a new tattoo on my back; it was blank for a reason. Even though the place was always busy, my buddy Cross was able to fit me into his schedule.
“So, you and Faith huh? Lucky bastard,” Slim says after we head out to the vans.
I smoke a cigarette, lean against the van and wait for Jason to come out of the studio.
Wayne is being an ass and just being plain Wayne when he asks, “Does she have a sister, cuz she is a sweet piece of—Fucking hell, Slim!” Slim gives him a good slap behind the head. I wanted to do the same thing, but I can always count on Slim to beat me.
Slim points a finger in his face. “No talking about our bro’s lady.”
“You are dead!” Wayne shouts.
Jason finally comes out of the studio. I put out my bud and am ready to get out of here. “I gotta go guys. Jason, you ready?”
“Yeah.”
“Danny, you wanna come with?”
“No,” he bitterly replies. He has his arms folded and is leaning against the vans staring down at his feet. He’s pissed because he knows he can’t say anything about Faith or I’ll bash his head in. I am not sure how he’s going to get pass this; it’s becoming childish and ridiculous. Faith is now a part of my life whether he likes it or not.
I shake off his attitude toward me and drive myself and Jason to the tattoo shop close to my apartment. I’ve gone a few times within the last five years and can say that I won’t go anywhere else; Cross is the best in my opinion. He’s done some amazing work and is pretty known in the city.
Jason is getting a touch up on one of his tats, while I sit and get my new piece; it may take a couple more appointments to finish the picture, but it will be worth it. After my two hours was up Cross had me look in the mirror—I fucking loved it.
It’s a picture of the ocean; up above a big tidal wave
is the saying: Faith is my ocean. I couldn’t wait to show it to Faith.
“That is going to be one hell of a tat, Lucky,” Jason compliments.
Cross nods and says, “It’s badass.”
I couldn’t agree more. “Thanks, man, I love it.” Once Cross places an ointment over my tattoo for protection we set up another appointment. We shake hands and Jason and I leave.
Jason takes over the wheel and drives me over to Faith’s place. I’ve been dying to see her, hold her, kiss her and yeah—fuck her.
“You and Danny okay?”
“Yeah, we’re cool,” I shrug. Yet I don’t even believe myself and I’m not sure Jason believes me either.
“He’s been pretty sharp with you lately. Does it have to do with Faith?”
“It’s something he’s gotta get over.”
“He grunts every time her name is brought up.”
“Too bad,” I clip. “She isn’t going anywhere.”
“I think it’s a good thing, Luck.”
At least someone thinks so. “Thanks, man, I appreciate that.”
“So, when do we get to officially meet the lovely Faith?”
I hadn’t realized the rest of the guys haven’t met her. I’ll have to talk with Faith, makes some plans for tomorrow. “I don’t know. Tomorrow, I guess?”
Jason is pleased with that idea. He drops me off in front of the hotel, fist bumps me and takes off. Larry—The Rock—is at the door and is ecstatic to see me again. He slaps me on the shoulder and is more than happy to let me through.
I DID IT. I FINALLY got the nerve to tell my parents about Lucas and me. My mom seemed fine with the idea, yet the minute she left the room my dad wasn’t so pleased. I knew I had it coming, it wasn’t a surprise. I haven’t been telling them the truth for a couple months now; about where I’ve been or why I have been coming home late. I’m not a child any longer, therefore being honest with them needed to be done.
I hated the way my dad was pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back, frowning at the ground. He always did that when he was disappointed in me—and oh boy he’s definitely disappointed in me now.
My dad finally stops in his place and looks at me with a dark, mad expression. “I have never been so disappointed in you,” he tells me.
I shout, “Daddy, I haven’t done anything!”
Immediately his face gets beat red; he’s ready to explode from the inside out. “Going behind my back and doing God knows what with him! I don’t even want to imagine!”
“I did that because I knew you would react this way! God, Daddy, can’t you give him a chance, please? For me?”
I hate begging like this—he’s being so unfair!
“Why should I? You understand he works for me? He’s not someone I want my daughter getting involved with.”
I almost gasp because his response is insane and horrible. Instead I snap at him, “Why, because he wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth?”
“Don’t you talk back to me young lady.”
“I am an adult, Daddy, I can make my own choices.”
“Not when you are living under my roof, you will not!”
“That is not fair!”
We just keep going around in circles; he’s not going to back down and neither am I—we are so much alike—it’s creepy—but no way would I ever treat anyone like they are less than me for not having the same financial security. It sickens me how my father grew into such a greedy, evil man.
My dad gets closer to me and points toward my face. “Life isn’t fair, Faith. I forbid you to see that. . . . that . . . tattooed punk!”
“You can’t do that! I love him!”
“You’re too young to know what love is.”
“No, I am not! You’re just too blind to see what’s beyond someones surface. He’s a good person who treats me well. Don’t you want that for me? Someone who treats me good, and kind?”
“I want that yes, but it wasn’t supposed to be him.”
“We don’t choose who we fall in love with, Daddy. You fell in love with Mom -”
He cuts me off, snapping at me, not comprehending that my mom didn’t come from a rich family, yet he loved her anyways.
“It wasn’t the same thing.”
“Yes it was!” I almost laugh because this whole situation and his behavior is unbelievable—he’s such a hypocrite! “She wasn’t rich, Daddy! She lived on the other side of the city, poor, but with two hard working parents. You fell in love with her anyways. How is that not the same?” I lower my voice, “All I am asking, is you give Lucas a chance. See him for what’s inside, not on the outside.”
We stand face to face for, I don’t know how many minutes, until he finally speaks up. “Dinner. We will do dinner.”
I blink, not realizing what he just proposed. “What?”
“Bring him to dinner tonight.” And just like that he walks out of the great room and leaves me behind with my thoughts, anger and confusion.
Being with Lucas again, for such a short amount of time, has felt like we never parted. My heart is so full I want to shout out at the world that I finally have the love of my life back. I know it’s crazy right? I shouldn’t open my heart up so quickly and jump right into something that may backfire on me in a second. Yet I’m going at it with full force; taking a risk. Will I be okay if somehow he hurts me again? I don’t know. I’m not going to think about that possibility right now. I want to take every moment we have with each other, to just feel happy and loved. I can do this—I can be happy.
Lucas stayed with me last night after he got out of rehearsal. He revealed to me his newest tattoo on his back that simply blew me away. I almost bursted into an ugly cry because it was the most beautiful piece of art on his body; I can’t wait to to see the finished results. I’ve thought on several occasions of getting a tattoo, but haven’t had the guts to do it just yet. Maybe I have been waiting all these years to get one done? We’ll see.
The next morning I made arrangements to have a dinner in the dining area, downstairs with Lucas and the rest of guys; June and my mother will also attend. I am a bit hesitant to be in Danny’s presence, but of course I’ll have to pretend he isn’t bothering me. I just don’t get what I have ever done to him—it doesn’t make sense to me.
Lucas took the day off from rehearsal and spent time with me and my mom down at the pool. It was such a humid, hot day that a dip in the pool was heaven sent. Mom laid out, took a nap and got some sun while Lucas and I huddled underneath the waterfall, making out. I could have stayed under that fall with him until the end of the day, it was so amazing; it gave us a chance to be alone and soak each other up with unnoticed pleasuring and many shivers of delightfulness.
The dining room was beautiful; I hired Harmony for the night to help set up the room and to make sure everything was perfect. I looked at her job application and saw she has experience with party planning and interior decorating. Not sure exactly why she chose the the house cleaning position when clearly she has an excellent background. Harmony was surprised and thrilled to help me with the dinner; she even decided to stay for the evening, overlooking the food and drinks. I really like this girl. She’s highly professional and has amazing work ethic. I definitely do not want her cleaning bedrooms. I wonder if I should design a position just for her? I’ll need to talk with her about it soon.
All the guys showed up. Every one of them (except Danny) gave me a warm welcoming hug—well Wayne gave me a very tight, hand rubbing on the back, kind of hug and wouldn’t let go. That got him a slap to the head from Slim and a scowl from Lucas. I thought it was hilarious, because I wasn’t sure if they would like me or not.
We were all ready to sit down and start dinner, but June had yet to arrive. “Where’s June?” Lucas asks.
“Good question. I left her a message. She said she was going to be here.” It’s not like her to not show up or to not text saying she is running late or has to cancel; she’s usually on time and rarely misses a di
nner party.
Later on in the evening, while eating dinner, June finally texted back saying she wasn’t feeling well and will talk with me later. I still am not convinced, but I’ll let it slide for now.
The conversations at the table had me rolling; Wayne kept cracking sexual jokes and asked me if I had a sister, making me laugh my ass off while Slim was eyeing Harmony and taking pictures of his food to post on Instagram. Jason was very quiet, yet so very polite and joined in on the laughter and day to day life conversations. I really really like him. Just like Lucas, he is covered in tattoos from the ends of the wrists, leading up toward his shoulders. He had on a t-shirt so I couldn’t very well see anything else. His quiet manners had me wondering what sort of secrets he was hiding? As for Danny? He was drinking like there was no tomorrow; one beer after another with shots of vodka in between. He made some comments in between, but no one listened. He was being a total jerk and I didn’t appreciate it one bit. Lucas held my hand and told me not to worry about Danny—he will get over his tantrum and will be fine. I wish I could believe him; things look far from being fine.
Mom had an unexpected phone call just as we were about to have dessert. Her face immediately lost it’s shine; she held her hand up to her mouth, slightly gasping—this didn’t look good. She was sitting next to me. I put my hand on her shoulder and ask, “Mom, you okay?”
She shakes her head and her voice is shakey, “No, not really. That was the nurse.”
The blood felt like it went straight to my feet, I got very nervous. “Is he?”
“No, but we need to go home. Tomorrow.”
Oh, God, tomorrow? Am I ready to do this? I feel sick to my stomach because I don’t want to face him on his death bed trying to find goodness in him again.
“We’ll be there, Helene,” Lucas promises. I still don’t think he should come with me, but he wants to be supportive and I love him for that. It’s crazy how easily we slipped right back into this relationship. It scares me, yet I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Thank you Lucas. I’ll make the flight arrangements when dessert is over.”