Forbidden Faith

by T. J. West

  Spinning around in circles my five year old head can’t grasp the last glance

  Tell me where to go

  My heart can’t take it

  Tell me where to hide

  My soul can’t take it

  Tell me what did I do

  Can’t take it

  Just can’t take it anymore

  THE LAST WORDS FAITH’S FATHER ever said to me was to take care of his daughter—I really couldn’t get over it. Just like Faith, I wanted to hate the man. No, I did hate the man; I hate the man he used to be, the one who blackmailed me and shoved me out the doors like yesterday’s trash, the one who looked at me like I came from underground and had no right to be living. There are no words with how much I hated that man. However, that man was not the one on his death bed, the one giving us his blessing. This was a dying man trying to right his wrongs before death. I gave him my word and will do anything to stand by it, honoring his wishes. That man, along with the one I met dying, is no longer alive—both men are dead and buried.

  The same day we visited Faith’s father we went back home. Before we leave on tour the guys and I have a full schedule with some major photoshoots; one is for our cd cover and the others are for publicity campaigns. Everything is happening pretty quickly, it’s making my head spin, yet loving it all the same.

  Getting back home and seeing Danny, telling him about his dad, was not the happiest moment of my life. No way did I want to make my best friend feel even more shitty than he already did. He apologized over and over again about how he overstepped the boundaries; acting like an asshole and treating Faith with disrespect. He knew he had some emotional stuff to work on, yet he didn’t want to even try to build a relationship with her. I forgave him for his behavior, however I wasn’t the one he needed to apologize to. Most importantly he needed to make peace with his dad. I suggested he go and see him before he passed. He just shook his head and walked away from me. We haven’t discussed it since. I can’t tell the guy what to do. I’m here for him, yet I will not hold his hand and say everything is going to be okay. He needs to figure out his shit first. I’m hoping when we are on tour it will help; getting away from everyday life may just be what he needs.

  Danny’s been pretty silent with me since I told him about his dads death and the funeral. I knew he wasn’t going to attend the funeral; he never actually knew the guy, but I’m sure it didn’t make matters better. He was abandoned by him, didn’t know how to react or what to do. Still, he knows I’m here for him if ever he needs to talk—even Faith.

  We had an amazing day getting our cover shoot done for our cd. Although we were all pretty tired, it was a bitchin feeling knowing our album will now have an official picture. June introduced us to Marty Cooper. She hadn’t ever done music covers before, but from looking at her portfolio we knew she would kill the shoot. She was professional and knew exactly what she was doing.

  As we wrapped up the shoot, Marty let us look at a few pictures which had us speechless and blown away. This shit just keeps getting better every day. I can’t fathom sometimes that my dream is actually happening; in less than two weeks we’ll be on the road playing our music all around the country.

  “Those are excellent shots, Marty, thank you,” I tell her with a smile. I couldn’t be more happy with them.

  “You are so welcome. It’s been a pleasure meeting you all and I’ll get these edited right away. I’ll be in touch.”

  “Sounds good.” The guys and I each shake hands with Marty as she prepares to leave.

  “We’re all starved. Ready for dinner, Luck?” Slim asks.

  “Yeah, let’s go.” June enters the studio after walking Marty out to her car. “June you wanna come out for dinner?”

  “Oh . . . uh, no, I have some things I have to take care of, but thanks.”

  She hasn’t been herself lately; not feisty or full of energy. Wonder what’s going on?

  I walk up to her, concerned. “Faith is pretty worried about you.”

  Her shoulders slump as if she lost the bone in her back. “I’m okay, just tired, that’s all.”

  Not sure If I believe her. “You sure?”

  She puts her hand on her hips. “Yes! Now, go on! Get something to eat. You had a big day,” she ends on a chuckle.

  I don’t argue with her and tell her goodbye. Maybe Faith can find out what’s wrong? I’ve become quite fond of June and seeing her not happy and taking care of herself concerns me.

  Walking out of the exit door I bump into someone. “Oh, sorry, man,” I apologize.

  “Lucky right?”

  I recognize this guy. He’s Faith’s ex. “Yeah?”

  He crosses his arms. “I’m Phillip,” and then scowls at me. “We met at your bands party a few weeks back.”

  I look behind me and see the guys staring at us, waiting for me. “I turn around and reply, “I remember.”

  “Faith was my girlfriend.”

  Shit, here we go. I put up my defense by crossing my arms too. “Yeah, I know. . . . .and?”

  “And, you’re the guy who stole her away from me.”

  Fucking hell. “I didn’t steal her,” I scoff. “She’s a grown woman who can make her own decisions, so don’t go around saying shit like that.”

  He’s a bit taller than me and leans his head toward my face. I’m ready to kick his ass if he steps any closer. “From my perspective, you took her without even thinking and ruined what I could have had with her.”

  This guy cannot be for real! Total asshole. “And from my perspective she was never yours to begin with.”

  “Really?” he scoffs. “Well, let me tell you something. . . . before you came around she and I had a good thing. I was going to ask her to marry me.”

  I wanted to laugh, he was so full of shit. “First of all, she was never anybody’s claim, second if you had something good with her how come she’s now with me, huh?” I give him a smirk and shrug, “Looks as if I do things to her that you could never do.”

  He uncrossed his arms and leans in further. “You have a lot of nerve, Jones.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know,” I state, with my hands curled into fists. We were having a stare down, ready to beat the crap out of one another, then Danny puts his hand on my shoulder and it relieves the build up inside my chest; my shoulders loosen and my fists unclench.

  “We have a problem here?”

  “No,” I clip. “This douche was just leaving my sight, ain’t that right?” I felt the other guys behind me, ready to pounce on Phillip if he tried anything stupid—I don’t think he would have anyways. He’s too much of a goody goody to do anything else; he wouldn’t want to get his three piece suit torn into pieces.

  He finally backs away and enters the studio. I take a deep breath and start walking.

  “What the hell was that all about?” Danny asks.

  “Nothing.” I just want to forget the whole thing and get food; my stomach is tied up in knots, yet I need something to eat.

  “Come on Lucky, I said I was sorry. I know I screwed up last week—“

  I stop walking. “You gonna talk with Faith?”

  “No. I’m not ready for that.”

  “Then we are not talking about my personal life—even if it’s about her ex-boyfriend.” I continue walking until we reach the van.

  “Lucky -”

  We hop in. I start the ignition and let the motor run when I give him the only, and last lecture he’ll ever hear from me. “I told you I’d choose her and the band over you—I meant it. She’s having a hard time right now with her dad passing, plus with your anger and resentment toward her. . . . it isn’t helping. She just learned she has a brother . . . that brother is being a dick. So suck it up, Danny boy, and try to get over from feeling sorry for yourself. Your life, without your dad in it was probably the best thing that could have happened to you. He was a greedy jerk and you know that. From what I can see, Faith had it worse than you. He played with her life and drove me away just to cause her
more pain. No more. I won’t let her be in pain anymore.” Danny looks away when I add, “Grow up and be a brother to Faith.”

  After dinner I went straight to Faith’s. I missed her all day and showed her just how much it affected me. Thank God her mom was not around because I don’t think I could have waited much longer to get Faith into bed. As soon as I entered the suite I saw her reading something in her kitchen. She was bent over on the counter with a glass of wine in hand and in deep concentration. Her black skirt accentuated her ass perfectly; I slowly walked up behind her and rubbed my hardened cock against her, immediately taking her out of that deep concentration, giving me her full attention. I lifted her skirt, tugged down her panties and kissed, licked her beautiful ass, rubbing my nose along the curve. I spread her legs and dipped my finger inside her pussy making her moan, grasping onto the edge of the counter. I pumped my finger, letting her ride the feeling until I could no longer hold out. I unzipped the back of her skirt, tugging it down; she leaned further onto the counter, ready for my entrance as I released my dick from my jeans. I licked my finger, tasting her sweet juices and stroked my length. I hissed as soon as I hit the tip of her pussy, leading straight inside her heat. Her reaction never lets me down; her moans and whimpers drove me harder, giving me more reason to collide our bodies together; she felt amazing, so perfect I thought I could see stars as I hit my peak. I grunted, sweat rolling down my temple, rubbing her clit with my fingers as I came undone. I almost felt guilty because I didn’t give her enough time to come. Then I quickly took us to the shower, cleaned her raw pussy and ate her until she erupted. Once our shower was finished I took her to bed and began another collision all over again.

  “I can’t believe you’re going to be leaving soon,” Faith says to me in my arms.

  I kiss the top of her head. “Yeah, but I won’t be gone for too long.” It’s going to kill me when I leave, but I can’t let her know how much.

  “I know, but still. . . . the idea of not having you here when I have gotten used to you in my bed again. . . . it’s going to be hard.”

  “You’ll fly out and meet me then.”

  She sighs, “I hope I can. I’ll be so busy with the hotel I’m not sure my calendar will allow me.”

  “We’ll make it work.” I hope to God we can; just when I got her back I have to leave her. My balls will be aching for her while my heart will remain true to her.

  “I have no doubt. This is your dream and I couldn’t be more happy for you. You know that right?”

  I squeeze her tight; her words have always given me hope. I was such a crazy fool to fall inside her father’s trap. What would have become of us if I never followed through with that damn check? Faith always had faith in me; she never let me down, giving me a confidence I never had before we met. I kick myself every day, knowing I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting her go. Yet I’ll try to make it up to her as best as I can. I have to believe fate brought us back together again. “You’ve always had faith me.”

  “You bet I did.” She kisses my chest, which automatically gives me goosebumps. “I always knew you would become somebody when it came to your music.”

  “I’ve really missed you,” I softly express. “I know I’ve said that a lot lately, but it’s true. My life wasn’t the same without you in it.” Faith lifts herself from my chest and kisses me. I kiss her back and roll on top of her, melting back inside, giving her my heart and soul.

  Soon after I tell her about Phillip. “Ran into your ex at the studio today.”

  “Phillip?”

  “The one and only.”

  “Why was he at the studio?” She asks curiously.

  “Beats me. What I do know is . . . he’s still got a thing for you.”

  She scoffs, “Well, you have nothing to worry about.”

  “I know I don’t, but he still thinks I stole you away from him . . . he even said he was going to ask you to marry him.”

  Faith gasps and sits up. “What?!”

  “Crazy right?”

  “Uh, yeah, it is, considering I told him multiple times that I was never going to love him.” She groans and puts on a cute scowl. “I can’t believe he said that to you!”

  I lightly chuckle. “Well, nothing to work yourself up over, because you’re with me now, and no one is ever going to get in between us again.” I pull her back down on top of me, kissing her heavily until she relaxes in my arms again.

  The next morning, after having breakfast with Faith and Helene, Helene discusses the hotels grand opening party. Even though she just lost her husband, Helene puts on a brave face. The party is a couple days before the guys and I leave on tour; Helene is looking for a live band for entertainment and I volunteer JINKS to help out.

  “You’d do that?” Faith acts surprised.

  “Of course! You need a band, I’m in a band, it all works out perfectly, ” I chuckle, laying my arm across her shoulders. “Plus, I’d do anything for you.” Faith bites her lip, smiles and kisses me.

  “This is splendid!” Helene exclaims. “Let me call June to inform her.” She quickly gathers her binder, cell phone and parades for the suite door.

  “Oh, Mom? Call Harmony as well. I’d love for her to help that evening.”

  “Of course!”

  After Helene leaves I take a drink of my coffee and quietly ask, “How she holding up?”

  Faith releases a breath. “As best as she can. Organizing the opening is just what she needed.” She began flipping through a magazine, becoming quiet on me and drinking her coffee. She’s been fighting her feelings, keeping busy—she is still hurting.

  I get behind her and start massaging her shoulders; she’s very tense. A moaning sound comes out of her mouth, moving her head from side side. I gradually bring up her father and Danny. “We haven’t talked much about the funeral. . . . Danny.”

  She swivels around, facing me. “I’ve been trying to put everything on the backburner for now. Not much I can do when the other person wants nothing to do with me and hates me.”

  I cup her face. “I told him to grow up and get over it.”

  “Well, he’ll come around when he’s ready,” she shrugs. “To be honest, I’m not ready to talk with him yet myself. As far as my dad’s passing? I’m sad . . . really sad. There are no other words,” she ends shaking her head.

  I bring Faith into my arms and hold her. The smell of her is intoxicating, I could hold her all day, but duty calls; the guys and I have another day full of publicity shoots, so I tell Faith we will see one another later on in the evening and I kiss her goodbye.

  WE JUST FINISHED UP DESSERT; the dining table was getting cleared when my father suddenly says, “He’s not good for you, Faith.”

  Where the hell did this come from! I thought the dinner with Lucas last night went well. I was hoping my father saw things differently; Lucas was polite and very pleasant. He even brought my mother some flowers, which she adored. I guess I was fooling myself into thinking he would actually change his mind and to accept him into my life.

  Boy, how wrong I was.

  “Yes, he is. How can you not see it? Whenever he’s around he’s polite and treats you with respect. He treats me with respect.”

  “It has nothing to do with respect,” he replies, while wiping his mouth with a cloth napkin.

  “For goodness sakes, don’t go back to the tattoos and piercings, Daddy! They don’t make the person.”

  He points his finger directly toward my face, with an evil glare. “Those despicable tattoos will shame our family; not to mention he also smokes. He will cause bad publicity within my business.”

  I can feel the tears building, but I can’t cry. I won’t. I stand up from the dining table and throw down my napkin. “I can’t believe you! Do you know how much it hurts me to hear you say things like that?

  “That may be, but it’s the damn truth!” He slams his fist onto the table, shaking the candlesticks from the center, making me flinch, and my mother gasp.

&
nbsp; My mother stays silent; she keeps her fists over her mouth, eyes closed and allows me to be swallowed up by this monster I used to admire. “I used to look up to you, Daddy! What happened to you?”

  “Lucas Jones, that’s what happened!”

  “He’s a good person, a good man!”

  He scoots away from the table and heads over to the mini bar and makes himself a drink. “Does not matter to me.” He pours scotch into his glass, takes a sip and turns around. He is now much more calm and collect, yet his words are vile. “Do this family a favor and don’t ever see him again or I will have to go to the extreme and use my upper hand, do you hear me?”

  I just shake my head, bewildered. This cannot be my life! I can’t let it go on like this anymore. I’m so tired of his control, his mean ways. “Then I’ll move out,” I simply state. “That way you won’t ever have to worry about your reputation ever again.”

  “Over my dead body you’ll move out!”

  I scoff, “You have given me no choice, Daddy.”

  I keep my head held high, not backing down, staring directly into his eyes; I don’t recognize them anymore. His eyes used to be his window of goodness; he used to look at me with love and happiness. Now I see nothing other than darkness, misery and greed. It wounds me to think I may have caused this, yet I just grew up and figured out he only cared about his reputation, how people perceived him and his business. I miss the father I used to know, or did I really know him back then? Was he always this way underneath all the time, yet I never noticed it? I miss the one who took me into his arms telling me everything would be ok when I woke up from a nightmare, the one who laughed at my silly jokes and watched me dance at my ballet recitals with a huge, proud smile. Oh, how I miss my father—how I will always treasure those moments and wish I could bring them back.

  “Miss Montgomery, Mr. Jones is here.”

  Still staring back at my father I reply, “Thank you, Martin.”

  “Faith, you will not leave this house, do you hear me?”

  I shake my head, keeping my distance. “I’m going, Daddy, and if that means you cut me loose from everything, so be it,” I shrug and leave the room. I hear my mother crying, which makes me start to cry.