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My Heart be Damned

Page 7

by Gray, Chanelle


  Out of the three of us, Mercy had the biggest house. That was even before my dad lost all our money and made us move. Chuck’s house wasn’t much smaller. The house reminded me of the house on Fresh Prince of Bel Air; all white with pillars around the front. I knocked twice and almost instantly, the door swung open.

  Mrs. Hill stood before me in all her angelic glory. Chuck’s parents were both heavily religious, which made Chuck determined not to be. As a way of rebelling, he often did as many unholy acts as he could get away with before his parents grounded him.

  “Amerie! Come in, come in. I’ve just been making cookies for our evening church service.” She led me into their large kitchen. “Feel free to have one. And feel free to come to the service and bring Chuck with you.”

  I could tell by her tone that she was saying it out of politeness. She didn’t actually expect us to turn up. Years of begging, bribery, preaching and even threats of going to Hell hadn’t worked. Chuck was not about to go to church.

  “Thanks, Mrs. Hill.” I helped myself to three cookies. They were still warm. Delicious. “I’ll ask Chuck if he wants to go.”

  She thanked me and stepped aside to allow me upstairs. Chuck’s room was always a mess. It seemed like every time I set foot in it, it got worse. Today was no different. Clothes, both clean, and not so clean lined the floor, and dirty cups and plates were stacked on every surface. Chuck, himself, sat in a huge chair, in front of a plasma TV, furiously tapping away at a PlayStation controller. He didn’t hit pause when he noticed me.

  “What happened to your face?” he asked, trying too hard to sound like he didn’t care.

  “Erm...I fell down the stairs.”

  “Yeah, sure you did.”

  I perched on the edge of his bed, hoping I wasn’t sitting on any underwear.

  “Are we okay, Chuck? There’s been no love on my phone from you all weekend.”

  “We’re cool.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “That’s your problem, then. I said we’re cool.”

  With a sigh, I jumped up and marched in front of the TV, blocking his view.

  “Look at me and tell me we’re cool. Look at me, and tell me that you’re not being defensive and stupid and ruining our friendship over nothing.”

  He sighed and rubbed his stubbly chin. “Okay, I’m still a bit pissed. But it’s my issue to work out, not yours.”

  “What did I do?” I asked. I’d meant to sound demanding, but it had come out timid.

  “How can you scare off a group of thugs when I couldn’t?” Chuck stood up and shut off the PlayStation. “It’s embarrassing.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way.” I shoved another bit of cookie into my mouth and then, because I’m so smooth, began to choke on it.

  Chuck thumped me hard on the back, and then laughed loudly at me. “Chew your food, animal.”

  “Speaking from the guy who lives in a pig sty,” I said, rubbing my throat.

  He smiled and threw himself down on the bed, his brown hair held with such strong gel it didn’t move an inch. “It’s the way I roll.”

  I lay beside him. “So...what did you do this weekend?”

  As Chuck launched into a long and detailed description of his weekend, I knew then that we’d be just fine. Chuck couldn’t hold grudges for long – it wasn’t in him. It was one, of the many things, that I loved about him.

  “It’s your birthday soon...whoa – what happened to your face?”

  I slammed my locker shut and sucked in a deep breath. The next day, the bruises had disappeared, but the cut hadn’t yet.

  “I fell down the fricking stairs,” I lied. “I never thought I’d say that.”

  Mercy scratched her head and raised an eyebrow. “You expect me to believe that? Something really weird is going on with you, Amerie.”

  “What? Like what?” I asked, my voice was slightly shrill with panic.

  “I dunno. Like, you’ve changed. Not personality wise, but all these little things. Like, you’re all strong now and really good at sports. Last year, you couldn’t catch a cold, let alone a ball. And you seem as though you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders all the time.”

  Though it shouldn’t have surprised me, I realized that Mercy had actually been paying attention. It made me love her more than ever, to know she’d caught on to changes in my life. Not that I could explain it.

  “I dunno. Guess I just developed hand-eye coordination late. And you know things at home aren’t great. I’ve had to grow up a lot.”

  “Yeah, I get that what happened has been hard for your family, but I’m talking about physically. Like the time that Sarah called you an orphan and you punched a hole all the way through the wall. That’s not normal,” she said, walking to our first class.

  “Adrenaline?”

  “Whatever, Amerie. It’s totally not. I’m gonna change the subject before this becomes a big deal. So, your birthday is soon. What’re we doing for it?”

  “I don’t want to do anything for my birthday,” I said, ducking into the classroom and hoping she’d drop the subject. “And anyway, it isn’t for like a month.”

  “Erm, I think you’ll find it’s in nineteen days. Really not a month.”

  I turned to give Mercy a pointed stare just as Sam sat down in front of us. He swung around on his chair so that his legs were on either side of the back.

  “You wanna do something for Amerie’s birthday?” Mercy asked him before I could stop her.

  “When is it?”

  “End of the month.”

  “As in Halloween?” Sam asked, incredulous.

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, laugh it up. My birthday’s on Halloween. I already know I’m a joke, don’t rub it in.”

  Sam and Mercy exchanged looks of wariness.

  “What’s up?” Mercy asked, nudging me.

  I shrugged, subtly edging away from her. “Nothing.”

  “You’re in a foul mood. So tell me why.”

  “I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I answered.

  It wasn’t a lie. All night I dreamt of the Damned I hadn’t killed – the ones still after me for whatever reason. My brain produced scenario after scenario. Different ways in which they defeated me just like the ones that had killed my mother. And I was scared. I couldn’t stop picturing all the ways my mother may have died.

  At the hospital, they wouldn’t tell me much. Just her cause of death – blood loss. My dad wouldn’t let me see her body, so I had no closure on her death at all. Had she met a Damned and lost the fight? Did he stab her with her own knife? Slit her throat? Had it been a group of them? Had they held her down, and then done other horrible things to her, before they took her life?

  I knew that thinking about these things was only going to drive me crazy. There was no way I could find out what had actually happened that night without tracking down the Damned who had killed her. How the hell would I find that out if they were even still alive? I kept imagining that the way that I would die would be exactly like my mother’s death. How ironic that I wouldn’t even know what that was until it was too late.

  “Are you working tonight?” Sam asked.

  “No, but I’m not in the mood to do anything. I’m just gonna stay here after school, go to the stables for a while, clear my head. That okay?”

  “Sure,” Sam quickly said. “I was only wondering.”

  “Meanwhile,” Mercy started. “We’ll get started on your birthday plans.”

  I thought about her arguing parents on the brink of divorce and forced myself to try to be on board with Mercy’s birthday plans for me. It was obviously a distraction from her own problems, and who was I to take it away from her?

  The teacher started the class, and I rested my head on my hand, trying not to drift off. It would be so easy to slide into a sleep-filled wonderland, but then I might not wake up. So instead, I counted the ceiling tiles, and once I’d done that, I began to scribble on the inside of my workbook. When th
e bell rang at the end of class, I looked down at my work for the first time. In all different sizes, I’d written the word ‘Seal’.

  The end of school couldn’t have come quick enough. I practically jumped out of my chair as soon as the last bell rang, and raced to my locker without waiting for Mercy or Chuck to catch up. Having some alone time had been what I’d most looked forward to all day. Though it was getting chilly outside, if I layered up enough, the weather wouldn’t even matter. Not when it was me, the horse, and as many fields as I could possibly need.

  “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Mercy said, appearing beside me.

  At the look of disappointment on her face, I felt bad. “Aw, I’m sorry, Mercy. But it’s getting closer to that time, and I just need a bit of space. You get that right?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, completely. I just thought distraction would be better than moping and wallowing. But it’s cool. We all deal differently, don’t we?”

  “Yeah, we do.”

  There was an awkward silence between us, so I used the time to grab my duffel bag out of my locker. Once I slammed the door shut, I turned to Mercy and gave her a small smile.

  “I’ll text you later.”

  “You better,” she said, smiling slightly. “Now I gotta get the bus with Chuck. He’ll probably be flirting with some girl all the way back.”

  “Bright side: You’ll be so squashed and blocked in by other people, you probably won’t see it.”

  “That’s an amazing bright side,” Mercy said sarcastically. “Anyway, see ya. Don’t wanna miss the bus.”

  I watched her go, part of me guilty, the other part relieved. Heaving my bag onto my shoulder, I took off in the direction of the playing fields and stables. It was a long and winding route, but as soon as I neared the stables, the smell and atmosphere of a hobby I’d once loved lifted my mood perceptibly.

  “Amerie! Always a pleasure,” the stable manager greeted me. She opened the wooden gate for me, and I walked onto the stable yard.

  “Hey, Fran.”

  “What brings you here? Polo isn’t on Mondays anymore.”

  “I know. I just wanted to take one of the horses out for like an hour or so. Is that okay?” I gave her my best puppy dog expression. Technically, we weren’t supposed to take the horses out on our own, but Fran and I went way back.

  “It’s getting kinda late,” Fran said, but I could tell she was wavering. “And it’ll be getting dark earlier.”

  “I’ll be back before dark. I promise.”

  She relented. “Okay, fine, but make sure you take out one of the seasoned horses, Amerie. I know you like taming the wild ones, but if you’re going out alone, I want you to be safe.” She grabbed the ends of one of her blonde plaits and began to play around with the hairs absentmindedly.

  “Okay, okay. Take all the fun out of it.” I shot her a grin and made my way over to the changing rooms to change into my riding gear. Then set about choosing a horse.

  My favorite was a beautiful black gelding called Darker, but he wasn’t available. A quick scan of the yard showed someone else riding him in the sand school. My next best was a temperamental, white mare called Halo. I grabbed a lead rope, unlatched her stable door and her outside so I could begin tacking up.

  “Don’t forget your hat!” Fran called as she walked past, arms filled with horse coats.

  “Yeah, yeah.” I waited for her to go before throwing my hat into Halo’s stall and climbing up. I didn’t need a hat anymore, even if the school’s insurance demanded I did. It was highly unlikely that I’d fall – I was good even before I came into my powers.

  At first, I took it slow, walking Halo through the big, empty fields and letting the breeze blow my hair back from my face. I stared around at all the nature: rabbits and hedgehogs that would flee at the first sound of me. Wanting to see more wildlife, I steered the horse to a secluded part of the fields, enclosed by trees. Huge trees that bowed at the top and towered over me like an amazing archway. This was one of my favorite trails.

  I kicked the horse into a canter and lost myself to the sounds of Halo’s hooves, and her steady breathing. We rounded a corner and someone dressed in black stepped out from behind a tree, startling us both. She reared, and my hold slipped. I hit the ground with a hard thud, my head smacking against the tree behind me.

  “Oh shit. Amerie, are you okay?”

  Wincing, I rubbed the back of my head. “You’re definitely stalking me.”

  Marshall glared down at me. “I am not stalking you.”

  I got to my feet and grabbed Halo’s reins before she thought about galloping off. “Then what are you doing miles from the city and in my school’s private fields?”

  “You go to school here?”

  I shook my head at him, and in one swift movement, climbed back up on my horse. “Go away, Marshall. I’m gonna report you to the police. What’s the bet I won’t be the first one to accuse you of stalking?” I kicked the horse into a trot and rode away from him.

  “Amerie, wait!” He jogged up beside us, struggling to keep up. “I need to talk to you. It’s serious.”

  “So you did know I went to school here.”

  “No, but since you’re here, I should talk to you.”

  “And why are you here, then? If you weren’t stalking me.”

  “I...I can’t tell you. Not yet. Please, let’s just talk...”

  “The only person you need to talk to is a solicitor when I get a restraining order slapped on your ass. Go away. This really isn’t attractive or sane behavior.” With a final kick, I urged Halo into a gallop and we left Marshall standing amongst the trees.

  An hour later, I was still fuming about Marshall when I untacked Halo and led her back into her stable. Only Fran remained, and she looked relieved to see me. Obviously, she wanted to go home.

  “Thanks for today,” I said as we walked into the school together. It was always so creepy empty, like a drained swimming pool.

  “No problem. I know you’re the best rider in this school. I might talk to your principal about setting up a competition schedule and get you to compete with other riders in the country.”

  I grinned. “Thanks. I’d really like that.” I stopped off at my locker, letting my bag drop to my feet. “I gotta grab some books before I leave. See ya later?”

  “Of course. Get home safely, Amerie.”

  I watched her leave with a small smile. She was the only adult in this stupid place I would even consider turning to with my problems. Turning my attention back to the task at hand, I flicked through all my practically unused books until my fingers found my history text.

  “Looks like I’ve got a date with Henry XII tonight,” I said to myself, grabbing the stiff spine. Then the lights went out all around me.

  I spun around, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. My whole body flooded with such a dark force that I stumbled back. The Damned were here, and I was alone and weaponless. This was getting old.

  Chapter Nine

  Helping Hand

  Quietly, I turned back to my locker and began rifling through it, trying to find anything I could use as a weapon. Nothing. With a sigh, I closed it and sucked in a deep breath. There was a fire axe in a glass case by reception. Maybe I could get to it in time.

  My riding boots squeaked against the shiny linoleum. My only advantage was that this was my turf. I knew this school like the back of my hand. They didn’t. Keeping to the shadows, I crept slowly, eyes peeled, body on full alert. I didn’t dare breathe. Fighting moves and techniques ran through my mind like a movie on fast forward. I could not let them get the better of me this time.

  I reached the lobby without being intercepted, and praying I wouldn’t make too much noise, slammed my first through the glass and pulled out the fire axe. It felt sturdy and powerful in my hands. I swung it a few times, making sure, I really had a grip on it, but then something rushed at me from behind. Falling forwards, the axe slipped out of my hands and skidded across the recepti
on into the waiting area.

  I jumped up to my feet, spinning around to block a punch aimed straight for my face. It was the dark haired female again, but this time, she somehow looked ten times more menacing. A gleam in her eyes showed how personal this had gotten. She punched at me again. I sidestepped it, throwing my arm out, and ramming it into her face. She stumbled back and grabbed my arm, pushing me face first into a wall.

  “This time, you die,” she hissed. Her nails dug into my shoulders as she pulled me back and threw me across the reception. Luckily, I landed right by the dropped axe. Quickly, I grabbed it and flipped to my feet, charging at her. A satisfying feeling flooded my stomach as I saw her begin to back away from me. I swung it at her just as her companion rushed over. He tried to grab at the axe in my hands, but I sidestepped it. I whacked the blunt end right into his head. He staggered and fell back.

  The woman’s hands shot up, and we wrestled for control of the axe for a few moments until she managed to loosen my hold on it and the axe flew to the side. Before I could blink, her fist dove straight into my face. She went to hit me again, but I blocked it and spun around, butterfly kicking her in the jaw.

  “Amerie!”

  As I turned to the voice, she nailed me with a right hook and I dropped to the floor, my vision blurring. I could just about see her, looming over me, ready to hit me again, when she was dragged off, down the hall. My vision cleared somewhat and I stumbled to my feet, staring at the new fight in progress, totally in shock. She was fighting Marshall. Marshall was fighting her!

 

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