Everything Is You

by Donna Hill

  Traci pursed her full lips. “But I don’t have to like it.”

  “It’s better this way.”

  “Secrets, lies? You call that better?”

  “I don’t need a lecture, Traci. Seriously.”

  “Fine,” she said in a feigned huff. “What time is your flight to Louisiana?”

  “Tomorrow afternoon at two.”

  A waitress stopped at the table and took Traci’s drink order.

  “How do you think it will go?”

  She shrugged her right shoulder. “I don’t know,” she said on a breath. “I haven’t spoken to my brother in ten years. I haven’t seen my nieces and nephews in almost as long. I missed Lee Ann’s wedding.” She slowly turned her glass around on the table. “I was in the Sudan or somewhere. I don’t even remember. But I don’t want to miss Desi’s. Who knows when…if I’ll get to see any of them again.”

  Traci studied her for a moment. “Are you going to tell Branford what’s going on?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  Traci clasped her hands together on top of the table. “He’s your brother, J. Your flesh and blood. And I’m going to be honest with you, because I’m your friend and I know you. You talk a good talk about not needing anyone, not needing your family and wanting to make your own way. But you do care and if you gave them half a chance I know that they care about you, too.” She tipped her head to the side and looked at Jacqueline through lowered lids. “If you really didn’t want to see them—and maybe even talk to your brother—you could have simply sent a gift.” She cocked an eyebrow to emphasize her point.

  Jacqueline’s eyes flashed for a moment. She lowered her gaze and stared down into her glass.

  “You’re going to have to stop traveling soon. You may not be able to work. What are you going to do then if you shut everyone out—especially Raymond?”

  Jacqueline tossed back the rest of her drink. “Let’s order. I’m starved.” She set down her glass and then snapped open the menu.

  Traci knew that look. The walls were up and there wasn’t anything that she would be able to do to get Jacqueline to talk short of bamboo shoots under her nails. Every fiber of her being wanted to shake some sense into Jacqueline, but knowing Jacquie, she’d cuss her out and make her pay for dinner. She may not be able to fix things between Jacquie and her family or her and Raymond. What she could do was be her friend.

  “I think I’ll have the steak,” Traci said. “With sweet potato fries. They are the best this side of anywhere.”

  Jacqueline smiled. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

  Traci stared at her from across the table. “How are you feeling?”

  She gave a slight shrug. “The same. Tired. Had a little dizzy spell yesterday, but I think it was from the heat.”

  “What did the doctor say?”

  Jacqueline blew out a breath. “The readings are the same. At least I’m no worse.”

  “Hmm.”

  The waitress returned and took their dinner orders and Traci’s request for a mango daiquiri.

  “I need you to promise me something.”

  “Sure.”

  “No matter what happens do not say anything to Raymond. You have to promise me.”

  Traci swallowed. “J…”

  “Promise me,” she insisted.

  “All right, all right. I promise.”

  Jacqueline released a breath of relief. “Thank you. And you’ll oversee the movers, make sure that everything gets packed up?”

  Traci blinked back tears. “Yes,” she murmured. “J, you don’t have to do this. You shouldn’t do this.”

  “I’m not going to talk about it anymore. It’s done. Okay.”

  They looked everywhere but each other in a strained silence.

  “I can get off early and take you to the airport,” Traci finally said.

  She shook her head. “No. I’ll be fine. I’ll go to the wedding, make nice and then start my…new life.”

  Traci looked away for a moment. The enormity of what Jacqueline was planning to do had haunted her for months. She’d tried without success to talk Jacqueline out of this irrational upheaval of her life. But with each visit to the doctor, and medication that no longer worked, Jacqueline had made up her mind and was resolute that this was the only way. And Traci knew that Jacqueline’s will was a mighty force. If she could cut her family off, walk out on the one man in her life that had touched her soul, distance herself from her best friend, she was a woman whose determination and focus could not be shaken with pleas.

  “What did you get Desiree for her wedding gift?”

  “A cut crystal bowl from Tiffany. Not anything that you can use very often but it looks pretty.” She grinned. “I had it shipped to my hotel. Hopefully it arrived in one piece.”

  “Anything would be better than shipping it on a passenger plane.”

  “How ’bout that.” She gazed off. “It’ll be good to see everyone,” she said wistfully.

  “I know they’ll be glad to see you.”

  The waitress returned with Traci’s drink. She lifted it toward Jacqueline. “To a safe trip and a happy reunion.”

  Jacqueline slowly lifted her glass and gently touched it to Traci’s. “To promises,” she said and took a sip.

  * * *

  The cab made the turn onto France Street and pulled up in front of The Belle of Baton Rouge. The driver climbed out to help Jacqueline with her bags just as a bellhop approached with a luggage cart.

  “Welcome to The Belle,” he greeted and took the two Louis Vuitton suitcases from the driver and placed them on the cart.

  Jacqueline paid the driver and included a generous tip. They’d battled airport traffic for more than an hour for a ride that should have taken half that time. But all during the trip the driver regaled her with lively stories of his family that included six children under the age of fifteen and a wife who, according to him, was a saint.

  “Thank you so much. And happy anniversary.”

  He grinned broadly, his nut-brown face glistening from the humidity. “Thank you,” he said with a slight bow of his bald head. “I hope you enjoy your stay.”

  “So do I.” She followed the bellhop into the cool interior of the lobby. The heat and humidity were two things that she definitely did not miss about her hometown. She walked up to the check-in counter.

  “Welcome to The Belle,” the young blonde reservationist greeted. “Your name?”

  “Jacqueline Lawson.” She took off her wide shades and looked around at the plush lobby.

  She clicked a few keys on the computer. “Yes, Ms. Lawson. We have you in the suite on the tenth floor for three nights. I will need your credit card for incidentals.”

  “Sure.” She dug in her purse and took out her wallet, fished through her cards and handed over her American Express.

  “How many keys will you be needing?”

  “Just one, thanks.”

  She processed her room key and handed it to Jacqueline along with her credit card. “If you’re ready, I can have someone take up your bags.”

  “Yes, please.”

  “John will help you with your bags. And you have a package. Would you like that brought up as well?”

  “Thank you. Yes.”

  The bellhop came up to the desk.

  “Tenth floor,” the receptionist said. “Enjoy your stay.”

  “Right this way, ma’am.”

  “First time to Baton Rouge?” the young man asked once they were aboard the elevator.

  “No. But it’s my first time back in a number of years.”

  “Are you here for the wedding? The city has been buzzing about it for weeks.”

  “Wedding?”

  “Yes, one of Senator Lawson’s
daughters is getting married tomorrow. A real big event from what I’m hearing.” He frowned a moment. “Are you related?”

  Jacqueline quickly shook her head. “No. Just coincidence.”

  “My apologies. Same name and all.”

  “Hmm, I get that a lot,” she murmured.

  The bell tinged and the doors slid open giving her the perfect escape from his question. The least everyone knew about her the better. Coming back to her hometown was hard enough. She didn’t want to make any unnecessary connection between herself and the fabled Lawson family.

  John wheeled the cart down the carpeted hall to room 1012. Jacqueline used her key and opened the door to pure luxury. The room opened onto a sprawling living space, fully furnished with a sleek, copper-toned couch, matching love seat and chair and a footstool. Low, glass-and-wood tables held blooming flora in bursting colors of orange, teal blue and white. The back wall was a window of glass that looked out onto the sprawling city. A full service bar was to the right, and beyond was a kitchen fit for a chef.

  “Should I put these in the bedroom?”

  “Yes, please.” She followed him down a short hall to the bedroom that was equally as lavish as the front. A king-size bed dominated the room, draped in all white. Dark cherry wood furnishings and a chaise lounge completed the room. A flat-screen television was mounted on the wall. French doors opened to a small terrace. It was well worth the money she spent.

  John went to the closet and took out the luggage stand and placed the bags on top. “Enjoy your stay.”

  Jacqueline reached into her bag and took out her purse. She handed him a ten-dollar tip.

  He beamed his gratitude. “Thank you,” he said, bowing his way out of the door.

  Jacqueline placed her purse on the small table near the terrace and opened the doors. She stepped outside and drew in a lungful of husky Louisiana air. Her gaze slowly took in the skyline.

  Beyond the cityscape was the Lawson mansion, the place she’d once called home.

  Chapter 5

  Just as Jacqueline was getting settled, there was a knock at her door. She tied the belt around her robe and went to the door. The bellhop had her box.

  “Your package, Ms. Lawson.”

  She reached for it.

  “I can put it inside for you.”

  “Oh, of course.” She stepped aside to let him pass. “You can put it right there on that table.”

  He soundlessly crossed the room and gingerly set the large box on the glass-and-wood table.

  “Thank you,” she said, walking him to the door. She grabbed her purse took out her wallet and pressed a five dollar bill into his hand.

  “Enjoy your stay, Ms. Lawson,” he said with a smile of appreciation.

  This could get expensive. She closed the door behind him and walked over to where he’d left the box. She tore off the packing tape and tucked inside the foam balls and plastic was the iconic blue Tiffany box. Gingerly she untied the ribbon from around the box and lifted the cover. The stunning crystal bowl sparkled inside. She checked it for cracks and then closed the lid and retied the ribbon.

  For a moment she paused with her hands on the box. The realization that she would see her family in less than twenty-four hours suddenly hit her. She did miss her nieces and nephews. It had been so long and the gap had only widened during the ensuing years of their estrangement. As for her brother, well that was a different story. She often wondered if he thought about her at all. And her nephew Maurice, David’s son, no one, not even she had heard from him in ages. She worried about Maurice the most. He’d been devastated by his father’s death. She had her reasons for turning away from her family but he did, as well.

  A sudden wave of dizziness seized her and she gripped the edge of the table for support. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She could hear her pulse pounding in her ears. The room seemed to shift then slowly settled. Jacqueline opened her eyes. In an instant the rest of what her life would be like flashed through her head like a bad “B” movie. This visit to her family was as much an extension of the olive branch as it was a goodbye. She didn’t want their pity, sympathy or help. But she did want to see them again, as she was now, not how she would eventually become.

  Gathering her strength she went into her bedroom for a nap when her cell phone rang. She walked over to the nightstand and picked up the phone. Raymond’s name was illuminated on the face of the phone.

  She drew in a sobering breath and touched the talk icon. “Hi!” she said, forcing cheer into her voice. She sat down on the side of the bed.

  “Hey, babe.”

  The timbre of his voice, as always, rolled through her in warm waves.

  “How was your flight?”

  “Long,” he said with a chuckle. “But it’s just a layover. The second leg of the flight is in another hour. Wish you were here.”

  “You’ll be there and settled in no time,” she said, sidestepping his comment.

  “Yeah, as settled as I generally get on these things. The humidity here is stifling. I could take ten showers and it would never be enough. How about you? What were you doing? I was hoping I didn’t wake you. This time difference always screws me up.”

  “Oh, nothing. Playing with my new toys,” she said, the lies sliding across her tongue with ease.

  He laughed. And she missed him. Her throat clenched. “So…what’s on your agenda?”

  “Day after tomorrow, I meet with the ambassador at the embassy. He’s giving me an hour.”

  His trip to Indonesia was to investigate and write an extensive piece of the evolving strife within the government. There had been several uprising of opposing forces within the past six months that had the United States wary of a possible coup. This assignment had Pulitzer written all over it.

  “I’m hoping to gain access to some of the members of the opposition. The story has to be balanced. And of course, traveling throughout Jakarta and some of the outlying areas to get some insight from the people.”

  “Just be careful, Ray,” she said with more emotion than she intended.

  “Of course.” He paused. “Are you all right? You sound funny.”

  “No, no, I’m fine.” She swallowed.

  “I know you don’t like it when I question you, but I’ve been worried about you, J. I hated to leave.”

  She lowered her head. She so wanted to tell him, to unburden her soul, pour out her fears and have him wrap his arms around her and tell her that he would make everything all right. But she would not condemn him to the life that was on the horizon for her. That’s not what you did to someone that you loved.

  “You worry entirely too much.”

  “I’m supposed to.”

  Her bottom lip trembled. She had to get off the phone or she was certain she would break down. “I know you have to be exhausted.”

  He yawned as if on cue. “I am. Twenty-four hours flying across time zones are for men half my age,” he joked.

  Jacqueline laughed. “You love it. You always have. And you look kinda good for your age.”

  “Very funny. But,” he yawned again, “if I don’t get some sleep I’m going to feel like seventy-six instead of thirty-six.”

  “Then get some rest when you can. We can talk when you get to your hotel.”

  “I will and we will.”

  “Have a good meeting with the Ambassador.”

  “Thanks. Night babe.”

  “Bye,” she whispered. She pressed the phone to her chest, wanting to hold him close to her for a moment more before she set the phone down on the nightstand. It was the right thing to do, she reminded herself, the only thing to do.

  She set her phone on vibrate and placed it on the nightstand then stretched out on the bed. Within moments, sleep held her in its grasp.

  When
her eyes flickered open hours later the room was bathed in the glow of the setting sun. She blinked, confused. Nothing looked familiar. By degrees, her sense of place returned. She was in Baton Rouge. Home.

  She pulled herself up into a sitting position and glanced around her space. Her reality crashed around her. Lightly she shook her head and pushed up from the side of the bed. She picked up her cell phone to discover that Traci called while she was asleep. She listened to the voice message and then called her back.

  The phone rang several times before Traci answered in a rushed voice.

  “Hey, it’s me,” Jacqueline said. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, just a little crazed. The movers are here.”

  Jacqueline’s heart thumped. “Any problems?”

  “No, just trying to make sure they don’t break anything while they pack.” She blew out a breath. “How was the flight?”

  “Uneventful. Listen, Traci, I know I’m asking a lot from you and I know how much you’re against this. I want you to know I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”

  Traci was silent for a moment, and Jacqueline listened to the sound of strange male voices in her soon-to-be vacated condo.

  “I know you do,” she finally said. “Everything okay on your end?”

  “Yeah. I woke up from a nap and for a minute I didn’t have a clue where I was,” she said, pushing lightness into her voice.

  “I better get back to the movers. I’ll…uh, call you.”

  Jacqueline blinked back the sting of tears in her eyes. “Okay. And Traci…”

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re my sister, J. And…I would do anything for you. You know that.”

  “I know. We’ll talk later.” She disconnected the call and sat perfectly still for several moments. A chapter of her life was coming to an end. When she’d purchased the L.A. condo she was sure that she had finally put down roots, that she would have a place to call home when she returned from her innumerable trips around the world. She’d rented a small apartment in New York, which is where she would go when she left Baton Rouge after the wedding. Some of the best doctors in the world that specialized in treating her condition were in New York. Although there wasn’t much more that could be done, save for the one alternative she refused to pursue, they were making strides every day. Strides equaled hope.