“You need to relax. You’re too high strung right now. Between seeing the Med Machine demonstration yesterday and this patent business today, it’s too much in such a short period.”
“I didn’t have a problem with the Med Machine.”
“I saw you, Will. You completely shut down, like you were trying to keep yourself from feeling anything at all.”
It was unnerving having someone so close to him who could recognize things no one had ever cared to notice before. “You’re right. I didn’t want to feel anything. If nothing else, I don’t have time to.”
“What?”
“I don’t have time to become an emotional wreck just from seeing a Med Machine work. We make the damn things. I don’t have a problem with it. They help thousands of people.”
“But they can’t help you. That’s exactly what I’m talking about, Will. Yes, you do have the time.”
“Really? And what if I had given in and been a wreck today and missed that patent?”
“You’d have caught it tomorrow, and I’d still have to try to figure out a way to get it from Walken. Besides, a Med Machine wouldn’t have wrecked you for that long, not unless there’s something else bothering you. What is it?”
Will sighed. Honesty and openness were paramount to their relationship. He didn’t want to keep anything back from Malcolm. He wasn’t trying to, but he didn’t know exactly what he felt. “For some reason, finding out our mole is in EZD has stirred up some emotions. I’ve been planning on talking to you about it as soon as I figure it out.”
“That’s what I’m here for, to help you figure it out. It doesn’t have to make sense. Just talk to me. Do you remember your time there?”
“Not very well. I was five years old when I was purchased. I remember the Beta woman who gave me my name, though. Looking back, I think she was a believer in the Spark of Life Movement. She liked to give us names with meaning. She said she saw in me the will to live.”
“I can see that. You must have been a handful. I’m surprised your spirit wasn’t broken there. I’ve toured their facilities before. They’re not exactly homey.”
“No, they’re not. She’s the reason I survived like I did. She was nice, teaching me to stay in line enough that I’d stay alive and be sold as a companion, but never wanting to turn me into a thing like some of the other Betas did. Of course, I didn’t recognize all of this at the time. I didn’t even like her much. Life there was horrible, so I naturally thought she was horrible too. I don’t even remember her name. Closest thing to a mother I’ve ever had, and I don’t know her name.” Will felt the pinprick of tears behind his eyes and shook his head. He really didn’t need to cry over this.
“It’s not your fault. You were a child. As much as the system would like to think Zeds can somehow stop being human, we both know different. Think how happy she’d be for you. You did exactly what she wanted: you survived. You thrived in a world that has done everything it can to stamp you out. And now you’re trying to do the same for other Zeds. She’d be proud.”
Will hoped so. “I don’t think about her often, but it’s been different the last couple of days. When I close my eyes, I try to conjure up an image of her, but all I have is a wisp of a memory. Her hair was blonde, the color of wheat. It constantly fell into her eyes. I guess I remember her eyes the most. They always seemed to twinkle, and they were a vivid cornflower blue. I can’t remember what the rest of her looked like, but I know what it felt like to be with her. As much as I hated all the rules she imposed on us during the day, at night she used to sing us songs to help us sleep. A few of the Beta women were like that, trying to give us as much of a childhood as they could. There’s one melody that always stuck with me.” He couldn’t remember the words, but he hummed the tune.
Malcolm went unnaturally still beside him. He recognized the song; Will felt sure of it. That in itself was not surprising. Malcolm loved the piano and had probably played this very song at one time or another. His reaction to hearing it, however, startled Will.
“What?”
Will could see Malcolm thinking, considering whether or not to tell him. “That song’s banned.”
“Why?”
“Because the lyrics speak of hope and a world where science isn’t given precedence over life.”
Will sensed Malcolm held back, but he knew it was for good reason. They didn’t keep secrets anymore. In the silence that settled over them, Will buffered his heart against the truth Malcolm left unspoken.
When they went back to the office to wrap up for dinner, Will did a search through the movement’s archives. Sure enough, there had been a purge of EZD personnel. Staring back at him were twinkling cornflower-blue eyes framed by wheat-blonde hair. Her name had been Greta, and she’d been executed for sowing sedition.
Malcolm’s body was hard behind him, and his familiar black shirt soaked up the tears that Will had buried for far too long.
Chapter Four
“Woo-hoo!” Nick yelled next to Malcolm. “Come on, Tony!”
Of course, Tony couldn’t hear Nick’s shouts of encouragement. They were at the racetrack behind the house, watching Tony, Will, Rufus, and Kaleana race the sports cars Malcolm owned.
“Get ‘em, Kaleana!” Carson clapped and whistled beside him.
“My m-m-money’s on Will,” Stu said.
“You don’t have any money,” Nick teased.
“That’s why it’s a s-s-safe bet.”
Malcolm’s tab pinged and vibrated in his pocket. A new message. It could wait until after they were done.
“You going to get that?” Syrus asked.
“What?” Malcolm feigned ignorance.
“You know what. Will’s told us all you’re waiting on an important message. It won’t offend us if you read it now.”
Malcolm should have known Will would recruit the others to his cause. “Your hearing baffles me.”
“I’ve got nothing to do but listen when everything’s dark. It’d be shameful if I didn’t hear it.”
“Yeah,” Nick joined in, “you better read it now. Will made us all swear to tell him if you got a message.”
“Stop being so demandin’, Nick. Malcolm will do what he wants.”
“Thank you, Carson.”
“Although he did make it sound pretty important. He showed me the patent filin’. If that message has to do with it, you should probably take a look. It’s more important than watchin’ some cars go round in circles.”
“Nothing’s more important than my family.”
“And nothin’ would make your family happier than gettin’ that patent.”
Malcolm sighed and took out his tab. The problem with buying so many Zeds was that he’d always be outnumbered. He still wasn’t used to them all being in the know. These decisions used to be just his to make.
The message was indeed the one Will had been waiting for.
Malcolm,
I’m having a little get-together at my house the day after tomorrow. I’d love it if you came. We could have a little fun and then talk business. I have a feeling I have something you may be interested in. Bring along that girl of yours and one of your boys. I’d love to see them playing together.
Walken
Malcolm’s stomach churned. He reread the message. Bringing two of his Zeds was definitely not a request. Kaleana usually went with him to Walken’s home, but he had never asked for him to bring another. The thought of why he wanted him to sent vomit up the back of his throat.
“What is it?” Carson sounded more concerned than Malcolm liked. He needed to get a hold of himself.
He stomped down the urge to reply that it was nothing. “I can’t say. I need to talk to Will and Kaleana first.”
Carson nodded, appearing to accept that.
The race had ended, and as soon as Will joined them, Nick piped up. “Malcolm got that message you’ve been waiting for.”
Will’s eyes lit up. “From Walken? What did it say?”
“I n
eed to talk to you and Kaleana about it in private.” For once, Malcolm didn’t mind that they were all fine with ending things early for business. He couldn’t hold in the knowledge of what Walken wanted any longer.
“We’ll leave you three to it, then,” Syrus said. “I’m sure Stu has some loud and obnoxious virtual game he’d love for us to play.”
Syrus knew Malcolm wouldn’t let them continue racing without him. The cars had safety features that made it impossible for them to collide with anything, but he couldn’t help feeling there was still a bit of danger to it, and although there was nothing he or anyone could do if there were an accident, he still didn’t like them racing without him present. A game would keep their minds occupied. Malcolm didn’t want them all speculating on what the message was. As soon as he had talked through it with Will and Kaleana, they would fill in the others.
“He’s sent you an invitation, hasn’t he?” Kaleana asked as soon as the three of them were in his and Will’s office. She was familiar with Walken and his proclivities.
“Yes.”
Will looked between both of them. “That’s great.”
“No, it’s not. I’m not accepting.”
“What? Of course you are. You told me to trust you, and I did. He made the first move just like you said he would.”
Kaleana spoke. “Will, Walken’s invitations always come with strings attached. I’m guessing, since we’re both here, that we’re the strings.”
Malcolm could see the confusion still lingering on Will’s face. He knew Will was familiar with what went on at the parties of certain Alphas. The fact that he was so far removed from that life that he didn’t even comprehend what Kaleana said made Malcolm feel as if he’d done something right. “Walken didn’t name you in the invitation, Will, but he made it clear that Kaleana and one of my other Zeds would need to come.”
“I gathered that. Naturally, it needs to be me. I wouldn’t let it be anyone else, for one, and neither would you. Two, I’m in a position where it makes more sense for me to be there and observe.”
“You don’t get it, Will. Walken is a worm. He’s going to ask you and Kaleana to entertain him. He’ll probably have you play with some of his Zeds or Zeds of the other guests.”
“Of course he is. Why else would he want you to bring us?”
Will’s frank understanding and acceptance of the situation took him aback. “And you expect me to be all right with that?”
“I’ve done it before. It can’t possibly be as bad as some of the parties I’ve been to in the past. You wouldn’t allow it. It’s part of being a Zed.”
“It’s not part of being my Zed.”
“You’ve taken Kaleana there plenty of times. You don’t seem to have a problem with him wanting her there, which means she’s entertained him before.”
“It’s different with me, Will. You’re not naïve. Alphas don’t see a problem with damaging a Zed who’s obviously already damaged. With me, there’s always been a line that Walken would never cross. Alphas have always been gentle with me.”
“Malcolm won’t let anything happen.”
“Of course not. And how do you think he’s going to prevent it? What do you think he’s going to do when he sees someone touching you?”
Just the thought of it sent adrenaline pumping through Malcolm. His usual self-control went to shreds when it came to Will. He’d always been protective of his Zeds, but Will took that instinct to a whole new level. It was hard enough to see Kaleana treated the way she was at Walken’s house. Malcolm didn’t think he could sit still and watch it happening to Will.
“She’s right, Will. You may be willing to go, but it would only end horribly.”
“That’s crap, and you know it. I’m not a child, Malcolm. I’m capable of making this decision.”
“Obviously not, because you fail to see the foolishness of it.”
For a moment, Will appeared stricken. Malcolm wanted to take back what he’d said, but it was true, and he needed to convince Will not to go, even if it resulted in him being mad at him.
“I’m the one being foolish? You’re the one who is willing to give up the best opportunity we’re ever going to get to move our cause forward. I’ve done and had done to me the vilest, most disgusting things, and it was nothing but pure misery. There’s nothing Walken could do that could be worse than what I’ve already been through. At least this time there’s something good that will come of it. You’re taking away the one chance I have to make it all mean something. This comes down to you not respecting me as your partner. You still think of me as just another Zed.” A mixture of hurt and indignation filled Will’s face.
“That’s not fair.” Kaleana jumped to Malcolm’s defense.
“You know I don’t think of you like that, but you’re right, it does have to do with you being a Zed. How could it not? You can’t defend yourself. That responsibility lies with me.”
“You were fine with Kaleana doing it.”
Malcolm didn’t know how to make his point without hurting Will. He wanted to tell him that of course it was different with Kaleana. She didn’t have a deformed leg. She was nothing but soft, unmarred curves that no one wanted to hurt. He was damaged, the type of Zed sadistic pricks liked to humiliate. However, Will was right. He had already been through whatever Walken would require and more.
“Malcolm, please.” Will stepped closer, filling Malcolm’s field of vision. “It can’t be any worse than what we went through with Stanton, and you managed to keep your cool during that.”
“Barely. I wanted to rip his head off.”
“But you didn’t.”
“Only because Kaleana stopped me.”
“And she’ll be there to stop you again.”
Malcolm shook his head. “I didn’t have to pretend to be friendly to Stanton.”
“It’ll be fine. I promise.” Will reached out and caressed Malcolm’s cheek. An unfair move. Malcolm’s heart swelled. How could he deny him when others had already denied him so much? “You know nothing bad’s going to happen. Walken wants to make a business deal with you. He’s not going to start negotiations by maiming one of your Zeds. I understand your protectiveness. I love you for it. But this isn’t protecting me. It won’t be pleasant. I’m not denying that. I wish you didn’t have to see it. However, I can handle it. If you can’t, though, I understand. I trust you to make the right decision.”
Damn him. How could he be more worried about Malcolm than he was about himself? Moreover, how could Malcolm say it was too much for him when Will would be the one experiencing it? “Fine. We’ll go, but I’m making no promises. There are lines I’m not willing to cross with you. I don’t care what Walken promises in return.”
“That’s fair. Thank you.” Will gave him one of those kisses that made Malcolm believe that nothing could ever possibly go wrong again.
It ended far too quickly. Already, Malcolm felt his protective urges shifting into high gear. He wanted nothing more than to keep Will at his hip until the party.
“I should go tell the others,” Will said as he pulled away. “They’ll be wondering what’s going on.”
“All right, but spare them the details.”
“I will, but they’ll know what it means when I tell them Kaleana and I are going.”
Malcolm nodded. Of course they would. As much as Malcolm had done to secure their futures and give them a sense of safety and security, he could do nothing to remove the memories of what it meant to be a Zed in New Cali. They’d all know.
As soon as Will left, Malcolm collapsed into his chair. Kaleana came behind him and massaged his shoulders. “I’ll do my best to protect him, but he’s right. Nothing’s going to happen.”
“Rationally, I know that’s true. I don’t know who else will be there, but I doubt any of them would be stupid enough to damage one of my Zeds. I just don’t think I can handle the sight of anyone else touching him.”
“Even me?”
“No. You I can handle. I kn
ow you love him.”
“So I’ll just make sure that the two of us together are entertaining enough for Walken.”
“I hate seeing you humiliated like that.” He felt bad that he was more protective of Will than he was of her. He needed her to know that watching her be exploited was far from easy.
“I know. I understand. We’ll get through it.” The pressure of her hands on his shoulders increased until the muscles had no choice but to give in.
“Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without you all these years. I doubt I would have run away if you hadn’t agreed to come.”
“I’m sure you’d have managed somehow. Besides, there was never any doubt. I’ve always belonged with you.”
Malcolm reached up and covered her hand with his where it massaged his shoulder. “Getting you for me was the only good thing my father ever did.”
“I can think of one other thing.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Now stop fretting. It’s one night. If you really want to get revenge on Walken, then get this patent. We could really take them down.”
Thank the Spark she’d be there with them. Her support was invaluable, and she was the only person he trusted to help him protect Will. He let her massage away his misgivings, relaxing into her touch. He’d always been in good hands with her. The party would be no different.
Chapter Five
A light knocking on the door pulled Will away from the book he was reading on his tab. “Come in.” He put the tab away and stood as Kaleana entered the bedroom he and Malcolm shared.
“I thought I’d let Malcolm handle the goodbyes by himself. Are you ready?” Kaleana had gone with Malcolm to speak with Trent, the head of security, and then say goodbye to the boys. Will hadn’t wanted to be around everyone with their fussing, so he’d stayed behind.
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure? You look agitated.” She pulled him down to sit on the bed with her.
“Only because I’ve already gone through this with Malcolm.”
[In Distress 02.0] In Pain Page 3