[In Distress 02.0] In Pain

by Caethes Faron

  “I had hoped we’d walk out of there with a deal.” Disappointment colored Will’s tone.

  “We did. I have no doubt that he’ll send me an offer I can accept.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “I have experience with these things. Trust me.”

  “Always.”

  That one word brought all the love he felt for Will to the forefront of his mind, overshadowing the anger at the treatment he’d endured. The trust Will had displayed tonight overwhelmed him. For a moment, he had thought Will would call out for him during the beating. He had worked to keep himself calm so that his voice would come out even if he needed to end it. Yet, Will hadn’t used their signal. It had taken a fair amount of willpower for Malcolm to trust that Will would call out if he needed him.

  They were quiet for the rest of the drive home. The next time he looked in his rearview mirror, Will’s eyes were closed, and Malcolm hoped he could sleep some. As the gates shut behind him after he entered his compound, Malcolm sighed in relief. Nothing beat being at home. There were days he wished he could hide away from the world forever, just him and his Zeds.

  “Kaleana, will you go up to the lounge, please, and calm the boys? I’m going to take Will up to our room.”

  “Of course. How much do you want me to tell them?”

  Her question was directed to him, but Will answered before he could. “Everything. We don’t keep secrets.”

  “They don’t need to know it all.” Malcolm didn’t want Will to be embarrassed around them.

  “No, but they’ll wheedle the truth out eventually. Besides, they’re my family. I don’t want to start hiding things from them. It would only hurt their feelings, make them feel like I couldn’t turn to them.”

  Will really was maturing. Of course, they did have their secrets, but he admired that Will felt so strongly about being as truthful as they could with everyone. It put Malcolm at ease because it showed that Will knew he had nothing to be ashamed of in regards to what had happened at Walken’s. Malcolm wondered if that wasn’t the motivation behind Will’s decision.

  “As long as you’re fine with it, I am. But I’m not letting you see them tonight. You’re all mine. My nerves can’t handle anyone else being around you right now, not even them. I need to satisfy myself that you’re all right first.”

  Will gave him a half smile and shook his head. “That’s a plan I can get behind.”

  They all got out of the car, Malcolm noticing every wince and flinch in Will’s movements.

  “Stop looking at me like that. I’m fine.”

  “Hmph.” Malcolm had to contain the urge to scoop Will into his arms and carry him upstairs. He really couldn’t afford to have his lover mad at him tonight.

  As soon as they entered their bedroom, Malcolm went to the closet to change. “Take off your clothes and lie on the bed. I need to take a look.”

  “What, you think you’re going to see something Kaleana didn’t? She knows what she’s doing.”

  “Kaleana’s not your lover; I am. I’m responsible for you, so stop arguing and get naked.”

  “Ooh, well if that’s how it’s going to be you only need to say so. I’ll grab the lube.”

  Malcolm tried to find Will’s teasing funny, but he couldn’t. “Please just cooperate.” When he exited the closet wearing nothing but his usual low-slung black lounge pants, Will was naked on top of the sheets on his side of the bed. Malcolm’s blood began to boil anew at seeing the welts, even from a distance. He took a deep breath before proceeding, trying to drain away some of his anger.

  He sat on the edge of the bed next to Will and examined the damage. Kaleana and Will were right. There would be minimal bruising. As far as beatings with a cane went, this one wasn’t too bad. It could have been much worse, even unintentionally. Malcolm hadn’t realized Kaleana could be so controlled.

  “See, I told you it wasn’t that bad. You probably would have enjoyed it.”

  “Don’t say that.” Malcolm’s tone was harsher than he intended.

  Will rolled onto his side so he faced him. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what I can say to convince you that it wasn’t that bad.”

  “I have eyes, Will. I saw your face, and I can see the results on your flesh. I would have cried just as hard. I can’t get the sound of you screaming out of my head.”

  “I knew their type. They wanted tears.”

  “Maybe, but those weren’t voluntary.”

  “You’re right. I couldn’t have stopped if I wanted to, but I did play it up. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I made it seem. They were the sort that like the breaking best. That kind tends to lose interest once you’re broken.”

  Malcolm swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat. “I hate that you know that. No man should possess that kind of knowledge.”

  “Well, it came in handy tonight. I’m relieved. It made my job easier. It would have been a bitch to try to stay quiet.”

  Malcolm didn’t know how he’d be able to calm himself enough to go to bed. He could barely keep still enough to sit down. He wanted to run back to Walken’s and punch him, feel his flesh give beneath his fist.

  Will reached up and caressed his face. It stunned him how much the feel of Will’s skin against his own calmed him. “Hey, I’m fine. It’s all right. We did good tonight. You’re wound so tight you’ll never get to sleep.”

  “Don’t worry about me.”

  “It’s my job to worry about you. I think tonight was far more difficult for you than it was for me.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “No, it’s not. For me, it’s over. Already the pain has faded. The cooling blanket did a good job of numbing me. Tomorrow it will smart, but a few days after that, I’ll barely even feel it. In a week, I won’t even be able to physically tell that it happened. But you had to watch it, and those images are going to stay with you forever.”

  He was right. Malcolm would never be able to rid himself of the sight. He’d never be able to forget what it was like to sit and watch passively while his lover was beaten. A part of him couldn’t reconcile loving Will and not interfering with what had happened. He couldn’t help the shame that welled up inside him. Still, to think that Will was trying to comfort him was ludicrous. “It took everything I had not to stop it.”

  “I know. That’s my point. I didn’t have to do anything tonight. You’re the one who had to work. You kept me sane. Seeing you, watching you nod with each stroke, it helped more than you can know.”

  “Will you stop trying to comfort me? You’re the one who needs it tonight.”

  “No, I don’t. Really, I’m fine. I’ve taken beatings worse than this before, delivered by people who didn’t love me. It takes a lot more to upset me.”

  “You can’t be fine after that. I’m not. All I can think about is exacting revenge.”

  Will shrugged. “I can’t be mad at Kaleana. She was only doing what she had to, and she did a good job. I can’t be mad at you. All I can do is marvel that you allowed it all to happen knowing it’s what I wanted. And I can’t be mad at Walken because he’s getting us the patent we need. I’m not going to waste energy being mad when it would be better spent loving you.”

  When had Will become more mature than him? “Let me just hold you and go to sleep.”

  “You can’t stay still enough to hold me, otherwise you would be already.”

  Malcolm moved to get into bed next to him, not wanting to admit that Will was correct, but Will stood from the bed. “Get back in bed.”

  “No.” Will was a head shorter than him, but he grabbed Malcolm’s face between his hands and forced eye contact. He seemed to search him for a moment before he spoke. “Go get the belt.”

  Malcolm pulled out of his grasp, feeling as if he’d just been punched in the gut. “No, Will. You’re in no condition to focus on me tonight.”

  “That’s exactly the point. You know I’d never raise a hand to you if I were upset.”

  Malcolm
sighed in exasperation. “Fine. You’re all right then. That still doesn’t mean you need to do this tonight.”

  “I’ve been neglecting you for too long, and you’ve let me. Go get the belt.”

  “I won’t let you do this tonight. I’m putting my foot down, Will.”

  “Please don’t make me get it myself. I need to give us a sense of balance, and I want us to start tomorrow fresh.”

  Malcolm didn’t move. If he just held his ground, Will would realize how tired he was and get back in bed.

  “Fine.” Will took a few steps toward the closet, wincing slightly at the movement.

  “Stop. How are you going to do this when even walking to the closet causes you pain?”

  “Swinging a belt doesn’t require me to walk. That’s why I’d hoped you’d cooperate. You need this. It will help calm your mind. I need it for the same reason. If it’s going to help both of us, why are you standing here arguing with me?”

  Malcolm wondered where along the way he had lost control of their relationship. It was the one area of his life where his lack of control excited him more than it scared him. Without a word, he turned and went to the closet, returning with one of his thin leather belts that he regularly wore.

  Will raised his eyebrows when Malcolm handed it to him. “I should have known. Couldn’t go with the wider belt that you like better. No, you have to make some symbolic gesture by using a whippy one. No doubt you would have brought the cane if I hadn’t specifically asked for a belt. Whatever. It’s your choice.”

  Malcolm’s stomach fluttered at being so easily seen through. It didn’t change his mind, though. He removed his pants, already taking comfort in the familiar routine, and lay on the bed. A part of him felt disgusted to be looking forward to this when Will had been forced to face much worse.

  “We’re nipping that self-destructive streak in the bud. You’re entitled to your feelings, Malcolm. They’re not bad or wrong. They just are. Let yourself take comfort in this. It doesn’t offend me. In fact, I’m a little surprised you didn’t get aroused during my beating.”

  “I could never.” Malcolm was mortified Will could think such a thing.

  “Yes you could. You chose not to out of respect for me, just like I’m sure you choose not to any time you see a Zed being beaten. You’re a good man. It’s why I love you, why you deserve my love. I was so proud of you tonight. You did everything perfectly, as if it were so easy. Having me feed you from the plate and eating so slowly to keep me from being called upon, the threat you made to Kaleana to make sure they didn’t goad her to break skin, keeping eye contact with me even though it must have hurt you to see the anguish on my face, taking the bet with Walken, the way you acted distant but still ran your hands through my hair so I could feel your love, it was all exactly what I needed. Now you’re going to let me do what you need because you love me. Tonight you’re going to let loose, and I’m not going to stop until you come. I want you flying high, away from all the turmoil you’re feeling. And don’t feel guilty if you see images of me. I expect it. I don’t mind you getting pleasure from it. Tonight was hard enough for you.”

  Malcolm let Will’s words wash over him and drowned in the perfect understanding.

  Will took his position. Malcolm loved watching him, seeing the confidence that suffused him every time he prepared to beat him. The first stroke landed, and warmth pooled in his stomach. Malcolm’s body practically begged for more, and Will obliged. He delivered each lash perfectly. There was intimacy in the act, in being so well known by another man. As the warmth spread through his body, he found that perfect contented place inside himself, where his mind could rest and just be. Sanctuary. Will took him there every time. And when he eventually orgasmed, he was thrilled that it wasn’t to a mental image of Will being whipped, but to the very real image of the man who stood over him, loving him more than he had ever thought possible.

  Chapter Seven

  Will’s stomach was in knots all the next day waiting for any word from Walken. The pain was worse upon waking than it had been the night previous, and he worked hard to keep it from Malcolm. He appreciated the concern, but if given the choice, Will would have done it again. In fact, he would have endured much worse. He only hoped that it wouldn’t prove to be in vain.

  Just as Malcolm had predicted, Walken’s lawyers sent him a deal he could accept. It transferred full ownership to Malcolm with the promise of a perpetual annuity. The deal was fair, especially considering they would have accepted almost any annuity amount to secure the patent. Will convinced Malcolm to tell everyone that night after dinner even though the paperwork still needed to be filed.

  And that was when the whirlwind started.

  * * *

  “Does that look right to you?” Will laid his tab on the table in the lounge. Around it sat Rufus, Kaleana, and Carson, all leaning forward to get a better look. They wouldn’t be able to employ Panacea’s own engineers for much of the design process for the new collar. This prototype design came from a coordinated effort between Oculus and some other agents. While the workers at Panacea would be aware of all the components going into the collar, they would simply assume the transmitter the movement would be using was actually for the Geneticists.

  “Are you sure that’s where they want the transmitter placed?” Rufus pointed to the diagram sitting on the table in the lounge. Kaleana held his hand and leaned forward to see. The excitement and stress of producing a functioning prototype of a new collar had resulted in Kaleana and Rufus lowering the shroud of secrecy around their feelings for each other. All the Zeds had long suspected they were sleeping together.

  “This is what I was given.” Will answered. “Why? Does it look wrong?”

  Rufus shook his head. “Just want to make sure it’s right. I can make that work.”

  Will saved the diagrams to the family’s shared folder.

  Carson pulled out his tab, clearly checking to see if he had access to it. “I’ve got it. I’ll go deliver this to Lucas in person and make sure there are no problems.” Carson had taken on much of the day-to-day management of Panacea. He mainly worked from the home office he shared with Rufus, Kaleana, and Tony, but he spent a fair amount of time across the divide.

  “I’ll go with you. I want to be the one to tool the machines.” Rufus stood, and Kaleana followed.

  “Let Malcolm know I’ve gone with them if I’m needed,” Kaleana said to Will. Even with all the help she now had from the rest of the Zeds, she still had plenty to do managing Panacea and the work the family did with the movement. Will didn’t know how she had managed it before. They all kept busy these days, and it seemed her workload had hardly lessened.

  Just as Kaleana reached for the door, it swung open and a slight gleam of surprise lit Malcolm’s eyes for a moment as he stood in the doorway. Will couldn’t help the immediate smile that overtook his lips as he saw him.

  “Where are we going?” A lilt of amusement colored Malcolm’s voice.

  “Will’s just shown us the prototype plans. We’re taking them over to Lucas and Rufus is going to start tooling the machines,” Kaleana said as she stepped aside, allowing Malcolm to enter.

  Tony followed him inside, lips parted to speak. Before he could get a word out, Carson huffed. “Don’t even start, Tony. We’ll be back in time for dinner, so you can stuff whatever it is you were goin’ to say.”

  Tony’s jaw dropped in mock shock. “I wasn’t going to say a thing.”

  Carson pushed by Tony on his way out the door and Kaleana followed with Rufus, trying—and failing—to contain a giggle. Just before the door shut behind them, Tony stuck his head out and hollered, “Remember we have a meeting planned before dinner.”

  “Yeah, yeah, you nattering hen,” Carson called from down the hall.

  Tony smiled and shook his head as he sat on the sofa with Malcolm. While everyone had taken on their own role within either Panacea or the movement, Tony had taken it upon himself to manage the family’s schedules and
the household. He was determined that their newfound work would not interfere with their time together.

  With the plans finalized and in the safe, capable hands of Rufus, Kaleana, and Carson, a weight lifted from Will that he hadn’t even noticed before. The sudden lightness quickly filled with excitement. This was really happening. In a few days, probably less, the nebulous concept of a new collar would materialize into a real Trojan Horse.

  All the excitement coupled with the sight of his family working together, happy, caused Will to burst into unexplained laughter.

  Malcolm’s eyebrows rose. “Care to enlighten us?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Doesn’t sound like nothing,” Tony said. “What? Is there something on my face?”

  “No. I’m just happy. This is really happening. We’re doing it together. The Trojan Horse collar is going to be a reality.”

  A comfortable smile softened Malcolm’s face, or at least what passed as a smile for him. It wasn’t a wide, toothy grin, and it wasn’t the fake lift of his lips that he sometimes did around other people. It was more that he simply relaxed his mouth from the firm line he perpetually held it in.

  “Explain to me why we’re naming it after a horse?” Tony looked from Will to Malcolm.

  Will nodded to Malcolm to tell the story. He’d been the one to tell it to Will late one night after they’d gotten promising preliminary designs from Oculus’s team. The story had fit their task perfectly, and since it was a myth from the pre-Great Destruction days, it suited their project even more.

  “There’s an old myth, old even to our ancestors who caused the Great Destruction, about a long siege with no end in sight. An army called the Greeks were trying to take the city of Troy. They built a giant wooden horse and hid part of the army inside. The rest of the army pretended to retreat. When the Trojans saw that the army had fled and left the horse as a gift, they opened their gates and brought it in. Once night fell, the army returned, and the men crept out of the horse and opened the city gates, allowing the Greeks an easy victory.”