I sat up and stretched. “Good morning. How long have you been up?”
“About an hour. I was watching you sleep, and then figured I’d better get up before I made good on my promise.”
“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?” I smiled up at him.
“I guess I just don’t think either of us are ready…yet.”
I stood up and walked over to him. “I’m not going to pressure you anymore. When it’s the right time, we’ll know. But, for the record, I am ready, but I can wait until you are.”
“Thank you. So, what do you want to do today? We could go shopping and spend a bunch of money…now that you know I have it.”
“I have everything I need. Let’s just stay here. We can watch some movies, order pizza or something. You don’t have to entertain me; I just want to be with you.”
“What about a change of clothes? I’m not too sure just how much self-control I’ll have with you walking around here all day wearing nothing but my shirt.”
“Well, why don’t you drop me off at home and I’ll pick up some clothes. You can go get a movie or two and then come back and get me.”
“Just where the hell have you been, young lady?” Nancy roared the second I walked in the door.
“Out,” I said and started to head to my room.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me! I’m your…”
“You’re my what? Don’t you dare call yourself my mother. Why do you care where I’ve been? Did my social worker stop by again or didn’t you get your check?” I snapped.
“You have a smart mouth. As long as you live here, you will follow my rules!”
“What rules? You’ve never given me any rules…ever. I’ve always come and gone as I’ve pleased. You have never cared about where I’ve been or what I’ve done. Why now?”
“Because you’ve never been out all night!”
I laughed at her, which only made her angry. “I’ve been out for days at a time, Nancy. How the hell would you know what I’ve done, you’re never here.”
“So, you think its okay to just come and go as you please? It’s okay to spend the night with Tyler, and because we’ve given you too much freedom, you can’t act like a slut?”
I turned around and walked away. I wanted to slap her. I was a good girl, and I knew it.”
“Don’t you walk away from me! Explain yourself!”
I turned around and glared at her. “You can think what you want, it doesn’t matter to me. Because I know that I’m good. I haven’t done anything wrong…in fact, I haven’t done ANYTHING!”
“What’s going on?” Joe asked, coming out of the bathroom.
“Abby thinks she can just stay out all night doing God knows what, with her boyfriend, and we’re going to just let her get away with it.”
“I haven’t DONE anything, I told you that. I’m not even with…” I took a deep breath and said, “I’m going to go shower and change.”
I turned around and did just that. I was ready to go in twenty minutes and was standing in the living room waiting for Kellan to come get me.
“You know, it really doesn’t look good for you to be out with your boyfriend all night, Abigail. Someone could get the wrong impression. Maybe Nancy and I have given you too much freedom, but you’ve always been a good girl. I’ve never had reason to doubt you’re a good girl. Do I have reason now?” Joe asked, trying to sound like a concerned parent all of a sudden.
Kellan walked up to the door just then. I opened the door to let Kellan in. “Kellan, I didn’t know you were back in town,” Joe said.
“Yeah, I came to see Abby.”
“Well, maybe you can talk some sense into her. She was out all night with her boyfriend. She doesn’t seem to think it’s wrong to spend the night with Tyler. Would you tell her…?”
“She wasn’t out with Tyler. She was with me.”
“What?” Joe asked, looking angry.
“It was her birthday…yesterday. Or did you forget?” he asked sarcastically.
“You stayed with your brother all night?” Nancy asked, coming out of the kitchen when she heard Kellan’s voice.
“He’s not…” I sighed, figuring it would just be easier to go with it than to explain my new relationship with Kellan. “Yeah, Kellan took me out to dinner and to a movie for my birthday and I fell asleep on his couch.”
“You’re sure he’s not just protecting Tyler and covering for you both?” Joe asked.
“Why would he do that? Kellan and Tyler aren’t the best of friends.”
“Why is that?” Nancy asked, looking up at Kellan.
“It’s a long story. Let’s go, Abby.”
“Where are you going?” Nancy asked.
“We’re going shopping and maybe to another movie. Why the sudden interest in Abby now, anyway?” he asked, first looking at Nancy and then Joe.
“She is still our responsibility…” Nancy started.
“Yeah, and you’ve done an incredible job. It’s amazing she’s still that sweet girl…and you two didn’t ruin her! Let’s go, Abby!”
“Kellan! She’s not going anywhere with you!” Joe snapped.
“Yes, she is.”
“Like hell, she is. Abigail, go to your room!”
I was suddenly worried. They hadn’t ordered me to my room since I was a small child. I had to fix this…I had to. I wasn’t going to miss spending the time I had left with Kellan. I started to apologize, but Kellan stepped up and said, “I don’t think you want to mess with me! I’m not that little boy anymore. She’s going with me…and there’s not a damn thing you’re going to do about it…right Nancy?” he glared at her.
She swallowed hard and said, “Joe, let them go. It’s fine.”
“The hell it is! Abigail go to your room!” he ordered.
“NO! Abby, you can go with Kellan. Its okay Joe, she’ll be safe with him.”
She looked down at the ground and I was completely lost as Kellan put his arm around my waist and walked me out the front door.
“What the hell, Nancy?” Joe yelled. “You keep her away from Tyler! She said she was still a good girl…see to it she stays that way!” Joe shouted after Kellan slammed the door shut.
“What was that all about?” I asked Kellan in the car.
“What?” he said, like nothing happened.
“How did you get Nancy to defy Joe like that?”
“Let’s just say that Nancy and I have an understanding, and leave it at that.”
“You told me no more secrets. Now, what’s going on?” I asked.
“Abby, she abused us…both, for years. She knows I can put her away for stealing our money…gambling it away, child endangerment, neglect, abuse…whatever you want to call it. She knows I’m almost a lawyer now, too. She’s scared. She won’t give you any problems. She hasn’t, has she?” he looked over at me, with a look that said he was certain she hadn’t.
“No, she’s been fine. She leaves me alone,” I said, still confused.
“She’s going to continue to leave you alone, too. I can promise you that.”
“I still don’t understand…”
“I told you, she’s scared. She gambles away all of the money the state gives her for you. She’s afraid of going to jail.”
“What about Joe? He didn’t seem worried.”
“Joe lives in denial. He does what Nancy tells him to do. Don’t worry, Abby. They won’t do anything to you. I promise.”
I scooted over to him and hugged his arm. “I was afraid they were going to keep us apart.”
“Yeah, right. Something tells me, there’s no way they were going to stop you from being with me. In fact, I’d like to see them try,” he grinned.
“You’re feeling better now, aren’t you?” I asked, noticing his beautiful smile was back.
“Yeah, much.” He put his arm around me and said, “Thanks to you.”
I had my Kellan back and I was thrilled. He was back to himself, and he was happy. I was elated a
nd loved every second with him. He had been right about Nancy. She never said another word to me and whenever Joe mentioned anything about myself, Kellan or Tyler, she shut him up. It was fine with me, because they didn’t question where I was or what I was doing. They still assumed I was with Tyler most of the time, and I just let them think it. Nancy’s threat from a couple years earlier still concerned me at times, but I realized she wasn’t about to risk going to jail by crossing Kellan, and that also meant that she wasn’t going to turn him in for sleeping with me…not that we were sleeping together.
It was his last night home. He was leaving the next afternoon to go back to school. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to make him miserable this time. We spent the day together walking along the beach. Later that afternoon, we cleaned up the apartment and got him packed for his flight out the next day. I was surprisingly calm and he didn’t fail to mention it.
“Are you getting tired of me already, Abby?” he asked and leaned down to kiss me.
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know. I guess I was just expecting tears today. I’m glad you’re not crying, but I am surprised.”
“I’m trying not to think about it.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can. You know that, right?”
“Yes. I think that’s why it’s easier this time. I know you love me and I know you’ll be back for me.”
“I do…and I will.” I seemed to be handling his imminent departure better than he was this time. He wouldn’t let me go and finally said, “I don’t want to go. I want to stay here…with you.”
“I wish you could. Don’t make me cry…yet, please. I just want another wonderful night together, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” He pulled away and grabbed one of his bags to throw in the car and we walked out the door.
We had dinner out and I spilled spaghetti sauce on my dress, so Kellan drove me home so I could change.
“They’re gone for the weekend. Why don’t you stay here tonight? Please?” I asked, never dreaming he’d agree.
“Okay.”
“We can just watch a movie, I won’t pester…what did you say?”
“I said, okay. I don’t want to leave you anymore than you want me to go.” He walked up and hugged me again. He had made it a point to hug me all day. He was never more than two steps away from me at all times, not that I minded.
We watched a movie and cuddled on the couch. Once the movie was over he stood up and reached for my hand.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“To bed. It’s getting late.”
I followed him and grabbed my flannel pajamas out of my drawer. When I came back to my room, I found Kellan in my bed, and I noticed his clothes were draped over my chair. I didn’t see any underwear on the chair, but I was still cautious as I slowly pulled back the blankets and climbed in next to him, assuming he was still wearing them…but secretly hoping he wasn’t. I had all but given up on sleeping with Kellan for the summer, but I knew he’d come around eventually, and I figured I had waited that long, I could wait a little longer.
I scooted up next to him and laid my head on his chest. He pulled me close. I sighed, dreading the day to follow.
“Abby?”
“Yes?” I said, looking up at him.
“I’ve been thinking about transferring to USC or UCLA’s law program. I have really good grades, and I know it wouldn’t be a big deal. I’ll have to go back to Yale to pick up my stuff and do some paper-work…”
I stared up at him, speechless.
“I thought you’d be happy?” he said when he noticed the look on my face.
“You can’t quit Yale! You’re halfway done!”
“You don’t want me to stay?” he asked.
“More than anything! But, you can’t quit school. No! I won’t let you do that. As much as I don’t want you to go, I won’t let you quit school.”
“I’m not quitting, I’m just transferring. I’ll still be a lawyer.”
“But not a graduate of Yale!”
“I don’t care, anymore! I’ve been thinking a lot about this.”
“And just when were you going to tell me?” I asked, sitting up in bed now.
“I was waiting until now. I guess I figured we wouldn’t fight about it as much now that I’m about to leave.”
“And why would we fight about it, Kellan?” I asked.
“Because I knew you wouldn’t want me to quit Yale. But, it’s okay, Abby.”
“NO! Don’t you dare quit Yale because of me! If you love me…”
“I do love you. That’s why I want to stay.”
“If you love me, then you won’t do that to me. Please don’t make me be the reason you’re quitting the only school you’ve ever dreamed of. I can’t take that. As much as I want you to stay, as much as I hate the thought of you getting on that plane tomorrow, I’d hate the thought of you quitting Yale more! Please, don’t do that!”
“I can’t come back until Thanksgiving. I don’t think I can stay away that long.”
“That’s only three months. If I can stand it, then you certainly can.”
“I don’t know if I can. I’ve never been in love before Abby. I’m going to be miserable without you! You have no idea…”
He stopped talking when I looked up at him with raised eyebrows.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I guess this isn’t new to you.”
“Yes, actually it is. Because this time, I know you’ll be back…for me.”
“Okay, you’re right, you can come to me in a year… it’s only one more year.”
We settled in next to each other again. I rested my head on his chest, trying to take in his scent. Neither of us said anything, and finally he pulled my face up to his and kissed me. It was a soft kiss, one that almost made me cry. He was leaving and it was finally hitting me. And even though he had just offered to stay, I knew he couldn’t. I suddenly felt the pain rip through me like a knife. I looked into his eyes as mine filled with tears. “Don’t cry. I love you, I’ll be back. You know that, right?”
“Yes,” I sobbed, unable to stop the grief.
He wiped away my tears and kissed me again, and again. He didn’t stop, and soon I had stopped crying as I was only able to focus on his lips…his mouth and his hands which were, for the first time, exploring my body.
I was clinging to him, praying he wouldn’t stop, knowing this time, it would be impossible to turn back. He kissed my lips and then trailed kisses down my neck. He unbuttoned my pajamas and exposed my bare breasts.
He stopped and looked at me for a minute and then focused on my eyes. “Abby, I think now’s the right time…is it?” he asked, actually waiting for my permission.
I could only nod and pull him to me. Every second was heaven and after he had finally made me his, he looked down at me and saw that I was crying…again.
“Oh God, are you okay? Abby, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” he asked, worried about me. When I didn’t say anything, he whispered, “Are you sorry?”
He started to roll off of me and I quickly pulled him back, holding him tight. “Yes,” I said staring up at him through my tears.
“Oh, God, I knew I shouldn’t have…”
“Kellan, I’m only sorry that we waited…and now you’re leaving!” I said and sobbed in his arms.
He sighed in relief and said, “Well, we still have tonight.”
I pulled him down to me and whispered, “And tomorrow morning.” He was kissing me again and every second was magical…
An hour later we were wrapped in each other’s arms, reeling in the afterglow and I watched as the angel in my favorite snow globe seemed to dance on the clouds, mimicking exactly how I felt at that moment.
We fell asleep sometime after three…I think. I knew it was late and I knew he had a long flight, but I woke up early and as I looked down at him I knew we were almost out of time. “He can sleep on the plane,” I said to myself and decided to wake him up.
/> I kissed his cheek and nuzzled his neck, but he was pretty much out. I got out of bed and ran into the kitchen to make us something for breakfast, thinking he might need his strength. I made us both some scrambled eggs and toast and climbed back into bed with him. He woke up this time with the movement of me getting back into bed.
“Good morning,” he said and stretched.
“The best,” I smiled down at him and kissed him.
We ate breakfast and talked for a while, but it wasn’t long before the dishes were on the floor and I was on him.
We had just finished making love again and I was straddling him, looking down at the man I loved.
“I can’t believe I talked you out of going to USC! What was I thinking?”
“That you love me and you don’t want me to quit, now.”
“If we had made love before you’d asked me, my answer might have been different,” I teased.
“You’re not making this easy on me,” he grinned.
“No, I can tell it’s a very hard decision for you,” I smiled.
“Yeah, well, that’s been an issue for a while now. You drive me crazy. Abby, if you want me to stay, I will, and you don’t have to feel guilty, because I don’t want to leave.”
“What I want…is you.”
“I think you’ve had me…a few times.”
“Hmm, but your plane doesn’t leave for another three hours,” I grinned.
“Come here,” he said and pulled me down to him.
“TYLER! Just what the hell do you think…?” Joe shouted, but stopped, completely in shock when he realized it wasn’t Tyler in my bed.
Kellan protectively pulled me over to the side of the bed and covered me with a sheet. He looked down at my terrified expression and whispered, “It’s okay, Abby. Remember what I told you. They’re not going to do a thing.”
“The hell I’m not! You better get out of that bed and face me like the man you think you are!” Joe ordered.
“Get out, Joe. We can chat after Abby and I get dressed.”
Joe threw Kellan’s pants at him and said, “NOW! Abby, get dressed!”
He walked out of the room and Kellan said, “I’m sorry we were interrupted.” He kissed my cheek and stood up to put his pants on. I was still frozen in bed, hugging the sheet to me. I hadn’t expected them home until the next day.
SEPARATED: CONCLUSION TO UN-RELATED Page 3