Permanently Princess (Royals of Valleria #10)

by Marianne Knightly

“How could I not love something that’s half you?”

  “God, Nate. That’s one of the nicest things you’ve ever said to me. But your family—”

  “Will deal with this and show us the respect we deserve.” His voice was hard now, unrelenting. “I won’t have you or our child made to feel they’re not wanted.” His family had made him feel that way at times, and he wouldn’t stand for it anymore. Not with him, not with Charlie, nor with their child.

  She wiped away the trickle of tears on her cheek. “They’ll never accept me. I thought they did. I thought they liked me. I thought—” Her breath hitched. “Nate, will I ever have a family who loves me?”

  The sobs broke then, her body racked with them, and her hands covered her face.

  Nate lifted her into her arms, his voice again firm and unyielding. “You do have a family who loves you. Me and our child. We’re your family, no matter what.”

  She curled into him, her arms went around his shoulders and she buried her face against his neck. The wet, salty streams coated his collarbone, and her pain absorbed into his skin and soul.

  He carried her into their bedroom and lay down on the bed, never losing hold of her. He never let go, just provided what meager comfort he could.

  His family was loving. He knew that. When it came to being a modern-day royal, a family either had to stick together or they stayed apart. His parents loved each other, had shown their children what love meant and how to weather storms together. They were real people—something the public often forgot—who had real problems and emotions and feelings. Inside this home, inside these palace walls in the Royal Wing, they were allowed to be themselves.

  Most of all, they were allowed to make mistakes.

  However, his parents had just made a grave one.

  Nate was so angry with his family, but he kept his temper in check. Charlie didn’t need that now, so he tamped it down.

  Later, however, was another story.

  It may have been minutes or hours, but her sobs ebbed to sniffles, then sighs, and eventually steady breaths.

  She’d cried herself to sleep.

  His love had cried herself to sleep because of what his family had said to her and about her.

  His anger bloomed once more.

  He held Charlie for another ten minutes, maybe more, ensuring she was safe in sleep before he pulled away. He took off her shoes and slid the covers over her. He wrote a quick note and left it by the bedside in case she woke up before he returned. He added a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin because he had a feeling she’d wake up with a headache after all that crying. Then he wondered if she should have aspirin. After a quick call to Ethan—to give him the heads up that everyone knew and also to ask—he changed the aspirin for acetaminophen.

  He brushed a hand over her head. Keeping the hand on her hair, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. He gave her head another brush, then turned and walked away, closing the door behind him.

  He had a few things to say to his family.

  Lucky for him—and unlucky for them—his parents were waiting for him at the front door of the apartment.

  Chapter Nine

  Charlie woke with her head thrumming a steady, thick beat. She groggily blinked her eyes and automatically reached out.

  The bed was empty but for her.

  No Nate.

  She sighed and shifted to her back. Her headache tightened as she recalled what had happened, the words that had been said, and the implications of those words.

  She wanted Nate. She wanted his arms where she felt safe. Inside this palace, inside her home, she wasn’t sure she felt safe anymore except with him.

  Heat flushed her cheeks and she knew what was coming. She took several deep breaths and forced her tears to stay down. Crying wouldn’t solve anything.

  She rubbed her eyes with fisted hands, just like a child might do, then moved to sit up. Her eyes fell on the things Nate had left for her, and the tears welled up again.

  Sometimes she couldn’t believe she’d gotten so lucky with him. A prince—an honest to God fucking prince—loved her, Charlotte Wyler. He’d married her.

  Honestly, he’d kind of begged her.

  Her lips quirked as she remembered his proposal. He’d still been inside her, their bodies still reeling from the aftershocks of one orgasm as another quickly approached. He’d held her captive in the bed, his cock thrust deep, his hands holding her wrists above her head, the weight of his body pinning her down. He kept her there, moving slowly inside her, tormenting her, until she’d said yes.

  She would’ve said yes even if it hadn’t been his cock doing the asking.

  It wasn’t exactly the kind of story they could tell other people. They joked later about the ‘tame’ story they’d agreed upon for the public and family.

  Family.

  Her hand went to her womb. She wasn’t sure she felt like she was supposed to as a mother. Physically, she was fine. Emotionally, she wasn’t sure.

  Was she supposed to feel an automatic connection to the baby? She hadn’t.

  Nate said he loved their baby. She did, too—how could she not, when part of it was Nate?—but she didn’t feel that connection yet. Did that make her a bad mother straight from the start? Was that why Nate’s parents had acted the way they did? They knew she’d be a shitty mother?

  But…they’d been happy about the baby.

  And they said they wouldn’t care if she and Nate didn’t get married, except for the repercussions on the baby.

  But then why were they so upset? Was it just a feeling of betrayal that they hadn’t been included in their wedding? Or something else?

  They’d been through so much over the last year. Plots to kill various family members, the machinations of the Council, bombs, heart attacks, and so much more. She thought all of that had bonded them together. Now, she figured she was still set apart, and maybe always had been. Even their wedding may not change that.

  Getting married had been such a spur of the moment decision at the time, but it wasn’t a rushed or regretful one. She loved him in a way she knew that she’d never love another like this. He was it for her. So, she’d said yes.

  Yes to marrying him.

  Yes to marrying him the next day.

  She’d said her ‘I will’ at the impromptu wedding, with Ethan officiating.

  When she’d heard Nate’s ‘I will’ in response, it had been one of the best moments in her life.

  Nate accepted her. He accepted that her body didn’t work right and that she needed more time in bed to get where it wanted to go. He accepted that she wanted the career she’d worked hard for, toiled for, trained for. He accepted everything about her.

  If only his family could do the same. She wanted a family more than anything. Yet, despite Nate’s acceptance, he couldn’t make his parents accept her. He couldn’t make them share their love with her. She thought she’d been accepted by them, but all she’d really done was hide the fear that she’d never be one of them.

  It fucking hurt to know the truth, to finally face it. Just like with her parents, she wasn’t really loved. She wasn’t wanted by this family any more than by her parents. She was something to be discarded at the earliest opportunity. They would never be her family. She still didn’t have anyone.

  No, that wasn’t true.

  She gripped her shirt over her womb. Nate was right. No matter what his family said, they could make a family. The three of them. It wouldn’t be easy in the royal spotlight to do that, and she knew Nate would suffer for it, but she had to think of the kid and Nate first. Nothing was more important than them now.

  Her hand unclenched.

  Recognizing her headache wouldn’t go away on its own, she reached for the pills. Taking two—Dr. Safar had already told her what she could and couldn’t take, so she knew they were fine—she chased them with the water and drained the glass. Then she reached for the note.

  Charlotte-mine, I’ve gone to speak to my family. I
should be back before you wake, but if I’m not, please try not to worry and do try to get some rest. I’ll be back soon. I love you. Nate.

  Her fingers brushed lightly over his recognizable script. She re-read it a few times, then set it carefully down. He didn’t leave her notes often, but she kept them when he did. She’d keep this one, too.

  She pushed to her feet, dragging them into the bathroom where she washed her face. She walked from the bathroom and out of the bedroom when she froze at the sounds of voices down the hall.

  “You have no right to speak about my wife that way.”

  Nate. That was the first time he’d called her his wife in front of someone else. Well, other than Ethan.

  “Nathaniel, please listen.”

  Charlie’s breath caught. Genevieve was there!

  “Nate, you’ve been nearly shouting for twenty minutes. Let them speak.”

  Twenty minutes? Charlie had slept through that.

  “Shut it, Sarah,” Nate growled.

  “Nathaniel,” Gabriel said in a warning tone.

  “Don’t give me that tone. What the hell were you thinking to treat Charlie like that?”

  “My son, we didn’t mean it as it sounded. Please, let your mother speak.”

  Charlie stayed in the shadows. She wanted to know what they’d say about her. Maybe then she’d know how they truly felt.

  “We love Charlotte. This is not about that.” Genevieve’s words were firm.

  Charlie almost believed them. She scooched a little forward, just enough to see them while they spoke about her.

  Nate was standing rigid as a statue, his arms at his side, hands loosely fisted. “Then what the hell is this about? I know it was a shock to find out we’d married, but your reaction was—”

  Gabriel interjected, “—wildly inappropriate, we know.” He rubbed a hand down Genevieve’s back, then revealed the truth.

  “We were blackmailed recently.”

  Nate’s stance relaxed as the shock set in. “Blackmailed? By who? And what the hell does that have to do with us?”

  “Let’s sit down, my son. Then we’ll tell you.”

  They shifted into the sitting room and Charlie waited before moving towards it to hear better. Peeking inside, she saw Sarah sitting on the sofa with Gabriel and Genevieve, Nate standing in front of them.

  Gabriel took Genevieve’s hand. “It was during Sarah’s recent…publicity woes.”

  Pictures of Sarah had come to light several months ago that featured her dancing with Vittorio at a charity ball. They’d ended up having a one-night stand, and eventually ended up together, but those pictures had caused all kinds of problems personally, professionally, and politically for those involved. Still, they were pretty tame photos of them dancing, nothing illicit.

  Sarah scoffed, but Gabriel continued. “You knew the Royal Council was attempting to remove Sarah from her post as Italian ambassador.”

  Sarah shook her head. “They succeeded, didn’t they? I’m not the Italian ambassador anymore.”

  “They think they succeeded. That’s a big difference. They don’t know we strategically removed you in order for you to help Arianna and Finn without anyone knowing.” Sarah was essentially a spy for Finn, who feared enemies in his past were gaining strength again and might attempt to take control of Brazenbourg.

  Nate asked again. “What does that have to do with me and Charlie?”

  Genevieve sighed. “Alexander and Rebecca’s first wedding was discovered. A note was left for your father at his chair during a Council meeting. The security footage of the Council chambers, we discovered, had been altered so we didn’t catch who did it. Marcello’s still trying to determine who was behind it. The blackmailer threatened to uncover the initial wedding to the press unless we removed Sarah from her post.”

  “Would revealing the wedding really matter?” Nate asked. “They were still married on the same day in front of millions. If you spun it, the public would get behind it. They got married early so you could attend the wedding, because you’d just come home from the hospital after a heart attack and couldn’t attend the main event. The public would absolutely rally behind that.”

  “I know, my son, and I agree with you. It just happened that Finn contacted me requesting further help, and Sarah was best suited for that job. So, it looks as though we’ve ceded to the blackmailer’s demands.”

  Light dawned on Nate’s face. “You think they’ll ask for something else now.”

  Gabriel nodded, his voice wearier than Charlie had ever heard it before. “Yes, and I’m worried about what that may be. We still don’t know how the first wedding was revealed, though we have our suspicions. Earlier, hearing you’d had a secret wedding as well…”

  “You thought we might get blackmailed for that, too.”

  “Yes, my son. We truly have nothing against Charlotte. We love her like a daughter. We are beyond thrilled about the child. We didn’t communicate that properly and we’d like to apologize, to you and Charlotte.”

  Nate placed one hand on his hip, the other he dragged through his glorious, chin-length hair. “It’s not as easy as a simple apology. She was devastated. She thinks you don’t love her, don’t want her in the family. We’re all the family she has.”

  Charlie jerked, remembering the scene at the hospital with her supposed aunt and uncle. She’d completely forgotten about them once she’d found out about the baby. She hadn’t even told Nate yet.

  Genevieve reached out a hand. Nate glanced at it for a moment, then took it. “We’ll make it up to her. Both her and you, Nathaniel, I promise.”

  Gabriel took his other hand. “Of course, we will, my son.”

  Nate nodded at them both, then let go.

  “Does Alex know about the blackmail?” Sarah asked.

  Gabriel shook his head. “Not yet. With everything that’s happened the last few months and the preparations for Marcello’s wedding, we haven’t had time to discuss. Besides that, I wanted to tell the whole family together—or as together as we are these days—and I’d hoped that could have been tonight. I wanted everyone to know as Marcello and Grace were set to marry.”

  Sarah tilted her head to the side. “But their wedding date’s been public for months. How could someone blackmail them for it?”

  “It wouldn’t be the wedding itself,” Genevieve explained. “Because the wedding is family and close friends only, if any unofficial pictures leaked, they could try to use it as leverage to get something they want.”

  “I doubt it, Mama,” Nate said. “Picture like those go to the highest bidder in the less than reputable press. Besides that, they’d still be pictures of a wedding. There’s nothing nefarious going on, nothing secret, really at all.”

  “Not to mention,” Sarah added. “It’s just family and close friends. Even with the wedding being held in the garden, it will be difficult to get pictures because the of security measures and everything that Marcello’s put in place.”

  “This isn’t the first blackmail attempt we received, my children. You don’t become king—or queen—without having to deal with them on a semi-regular basis. That means you tend to see every opportunity—even a slim like one like Marcello’s wedding—as a potential threat. I’d like Alexander here if we’re going to discuss this.” Gabriel pulled out his phone. “I’ll call him.”

  Nate held up a hand. “Wait. Just…leave him and Rebecca alone tonight. We can talk to him tomorrow.”

  Even from several feet away, Charlie saw Genevieve’s eyes narrow. “Why?”

  Nate shook his head. “I can’t say. I can’t,” he added when it looked like Genevieve would speak. “Just trust me and leave them alone.”

  Because Charlie didn’t want anyone bothering Rebecca or Alex, either, she stepped forward, revealing herself. It was only once Nate noticed her that she realized her clothes were probably wrinkled from sleep; nothing like the evenly-pressed presentable outfits Sarah and Genevieve wore.

  It was how Charlie felt som
etimes: a wrinkled shirt next to soft, straight silk. She didn’t mind it usually, but with her defenses lowered she wanted another form of armor on, and she didn’t have it.

  Nate immediately moved to her, wrapped an arm around her and kissed her. “How are you?”

  “Okay.” Her voice was low and croaky so she cleared her throat. “I’m all right.”

  “Charlotte?”

  Charlie glanced past Nate to see everyone now standing.

  Genevieve spoke again. “I—that is to say, we—would like to apologize. It was all a big misunderstanding. We love you. We—”

  Charlie held up a hand. “It’s all right. I, um, overheard what you said. I was just in the hall while you were talking.”

  She’d thought they might admonish her for eavesdropping, but they didn’t.

  Gabriel walked over, put a hand on her shoulder, and a dropped a soft kiss on her head. “We adore you. You make Nathaniel very happy, which is the only thing any parent really wants, in the end, even a royal one. We acted horribly earlier, and you deserve better from us.”

  Charlie tried to swallow the giant lump that had formed in her throat, but it still stuck there. “Wow. Well, thank you for saying that.”

  Gabriel squeezed her shoulder. “We mean it. We are very happy about the wedding, though it was a shock. And we are also very happy about the child.”

  She almost moved her hand to her womb again, but she managed to stop herself before she started. Was it normal to want to do that so much? To try and cradle the kid from the outside of her body, even though she knew it was the size of a pea and firmly ensconced inside her?

  She brushed that thought aside to focus on the question she most wanted answered. “You really don’t mind that Nate and I eloped?”

  Gabriel pursed his lips in a small smile. “We do wish we had been there to share the day with you, but we respect your decision.”

  “It wasn’t because we didn’t want you there,” Charlie blurted out in a rush. “It’s just that, well, I don’t have anybody.”

  “Charlie—” Nate started, but she cut him off.

  “I know you’ll say I do have people, but the only people I have are yours: your family, relations, and friends. I know people outside the palace, know professional colleagues, but I never had a family until I got yours. I don’t have my own family. If we had a proper wedding, there wouldn’t be anyone to sit on my side of the church, so to speak. I…I didn’t want to deal with that.”