“Cash, please don’t go down that road. Please don’t push me away.”
“I have to. How can I sit here and be ok with the woman I love fucking some white trash biker?” his words were wounding as he threw them at her from across the table.
“You think you can just say something awful to me because it’s your right, Cash? It’s not! You have no right to judge me, or Knox for that matter. You have no idea what I’ve been through and what has led me to this point, because you gave up on us.” Her eyes burned at the tears that were beginning to form. She took a deep steadying breath, trying to calm herself down before continuing, “You have always meant the world to me, more than anyone, but we’ve grown up and the things we used to want aren’t the same anymore. I still love you, Cash. I always will. I just need you as a friend right now.”
“Don’t fuck with my feelings just because you’re unsure of your own, Ani.”
“I’m not, Cash. I promise. I don’t want you to disappear from my life, but you have to give me the space to live it.”
“I know.” The anger that he’d held was now gone, replaced by a total lack of emotion.
Ani sat across from him, staring at the void that she’d ripped in his chest. It would take time to fix his broken heart and she knew she needed to give him that. She stood slowly, staring down at him from the edge of the table before quietly walking toward him and planting a soft kiss against his temple. She turned to leave as his voice stopped her in her tracks.
“If you must know, sweetheart, your love was the best part of my life.”
She looked back at him, the tear rolling down his cheek wrenching her stomach in knots. “You never lost it, Cash. It will always be there.” With that, she left, walking out into the night air that now seemed colder than it ever had.
“Well, just give him some time. I am sure he’ll accept it sooner or later,” Kate rubbed her hand on Ani’s arm trying to console her.
“I need a shot,” Ani laughed, choking back the tears that threatened to fall once more.
“Now you’re talking my language!” Kate beamed as she pulled Ani toward the bar.
The music grew louder as a handful of other people came into the room from outside. She saw the flash of Chloe’s blonde hair come in behind Butcher; along with a few people she hadn’t met before. All of the men dressed in the same leather cut as the others. Ani eyed Chloe as she walked toward where Knox stood with Repo and Rage.
“She’s been snaking her nasty self around here for the past two weeks,” Kate said sliding a beer and a shot across the table at Ani.
Something about that girl and her dirty looks sent a fiery irritation through her. Maybe Chloe hadn’t outright done anything to Ani, but her attitude wasn’t giving her a reason to go make nice with her.
“She wasn’t messing with Knox was she?” Ani turned and asked Kate.
“Not that I know of, but let’s face it; she would handcuff herself to his arm and swallow the key if she could. I can’t stand her.” Kate glared across the room openly.
“Welcome back,” Starla came up and took the stool next to Ani.
“Thanks, Starla.” Ani smiled over at her, the puzzle pieces were all starting to form together again. It had been shaken up, broken apart after the attack, but the people surrounding her now were slowly putting it all back together.
“I’m glad you and Knox were able to work things out. It hasn’t seemed like much fun without you,” Starla patted her hand.
“You mean I’m not fun?” Kate protested?
“You know what I mean,” Starla laughed as she rolled her eyes.
“Can I ask you something?” Ani turned to Starla.
“Sure, Toots, what’s eating at that pretty brain of yours?”
“The night at the club,” Ani could see Starla’s face drop at the mention of the nightclub. “Does that happen often?”
“There are some things you need to know if you’re gonna be an old lady,” she looked across to Kate also, “Both of you. These guys eat, sweat, and breath this M.C.; always will. It was pretty rough over in Ireland. Between the rival clubs and the citizens revolting against the government it seemed like we were caught in the middle of a shit storm,” she let out a deep sigh, shooting a shot of liquor as she continued, “One of the main reasons we jumped at the opportunity to come here was because we hoped we could get away from that shit.”
“So is there still a charter in Ireland?” Kate asked, intrigued by the story.
“Yeah, Knox’s dad and a group of his close friends started the M.C. years ago. In the beginning it was just a hobby, but with the turn against the government in Ireland and radical anarchist forming groups, the club got into some pretty tough shit.”
“What kind of tough shit?” Ani’s voice broke as she asked. She still wasn’t sure what details she wanted to know.
“That’s for you and Knox to talk about, love. But there will always be close calls, rival gangs, turf wars, retaliation. It’s part of the life. Do you need to worry about someone pulling a gun on you all the time? No. But if you and Knox get serious, you’re gonna have to stand behind your man. Because behind every biker is a solid old lady, if she falters; he falters. And if he falters, he goes six feet under,” Starla smiled, hoping to have reassured her before heading back over to where Jameson played pool.
Ani sat, taking her words to heart. If she was going to be by Knox’s side, she was going to have to accept what came with the life. No judgment, no bitching. She could only stand by her man and hope that his strength was enough for the both of them. She stood and made her way to the stairs when a hand caught her arm, stopping her before she went up.
“Listen, I know we don’t know each other, but I felt like you should know that you need to keep your old man on a leash,” Chloe cocked her head to the side as she placed her hand on her hip.
“Excuse me?” Ani tried to hide the irritation in her voice. How dare this girl say anything to her about Knox? She was already walking a fine line with the nasty looks she’d been giving Ani from the time she walked in the door the first night they had met.
“Just don’t think you’re really capable of holding down a man like Knox, and now that your back I don’t want him knocking on my door anymore.” Chloe spun, her long blonde hair whipping around behind her.
Ani could only see red. Red. The audacity of this bitch drove her over the edge. What Knox had done while she was gone was his own business, but she would make damn sure that she claimed her territory tonight. She could feel the surge of whiskey as Kate came to her side. She didn’t hear a word from Kate’s mouth as she took off in the direction Chloe had just left. She stormed out into the common room, eyeing her target. A few stares locked onto Ani as she grabbed a handful of Chloe’s long hair and snatched her backward onto the floor. Chloe’s fist landed hard against Ani’s face first as she went down, fueling the hate that Ani had for her.
She could feel someone trying to pull her off of Chloe as she wailed her fist down onto the girl’s face. She could feel the sharp pains from Chloe’s nails as they drug down her arms and across her chest trying to get her to stop.
“Ani! Stop!” She could hear Knox’s voice from behind her and she continued her assault anyway.
She felt his arms wrap around her waist and lift her off of Chloe, red, she could only see red. Her breath was on fire as he pulled her from the room, shouting vagrant obscenities toward Chloe who was now attempting to come after her as Butcher held her back.
“This shit isn’t over, bitch!” Chloe screamed from across the room.
“You want your ass whipped again, come see me,” Ani challenged.
It wasn’t until Knox had carried her up the stairs that she was able to actually breathe. She saw Kate and Starla peek their heads around the corner of the hallway, beaming smiles crossing both of their faces as Knox hauled her into the room and dropped her down onto the bed, kneeling in front of her.
“What the hell am I going to do with you,
woman?” He brushed the hairs from her face, checking to see if she had any cuts on her face.
“She started it,” Ani stated bluntly, crossing her arms. Real mature, Ani.
She winced as he pulled the shirt from her arms. Cat like scratched ran down the length of her upper arm, puckered and swollen. He gently wiped the blood from one of the scratches as he let out a deep breath, “What did she say to you?”
“Oh, just to keep you from knocking on her door anymore.”
“Ani, I…” Ani stopped him. She didn’t want to know what she already did.
“I don’t care what you did when I was gone. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart I don’t give a fuck. However, you will never touch another pussy as long as I am in the picture. You got it?” she glared up at him.
His face was blank and she was beginning to think that her sudden surge of bravery may have offended him; until a slight smile pulled up the corner of his mouth.
“I got you.” He set the towel down on the floor as he climbed on top of her and on the bed.
“So, does this mean I’m your old lady?” Ani grimaced as she said the words.
“Aye, baby, it does; and I’m about to show you just how good it is to be my old lady.” His warm lips pressed against her collar bone trailing up to her neck as he dug his erection against her. “You know how sexy it is to see you fight for your man?”
“How sexy is it?”
“Very sexy.” He started to take off his leather cut and she stopped him, grinning up at him devilishly.
“Leave on the cut,” her words were deep and husky as she wrapped her legs around his waist.
Chapter thirteen
admissions
“You know how proud my mother would be that I am bedding a man whose last name I don’t even know?” Ani giggled as her head rested on Knox’s stomach. The rays of the morning sun were shining through the window, cascading her in warmth as she lay naked on the bed.
“Did you just call what we have, bedding?” He cocked his head in curiosity.
“I was trying to keep from being vulgar.”
“Aye, and calling someone an ugly cock sucking bitch isn’t vulgar?”
“That was in the heat of war. She deserved it too,” she rolled onto her stomach, looking into his eyes.
“Well, I’m sure she’ll be feeling it today. Where did you learn to scrap like that?”
“When I was younger I got picked on a lot. In middle school it was because I looked like Pocahontas. In high school it was because a jealous girlfriend’s boyfriend checked out my ass. I learned quickly how to defend myself, of course having a guy as your best friend helps.” She tried to hide the sadness that was eating away at her gut at the mention of Cash.
“What was the deal with you and the cop?”
“I thought we agreed not to talk about past relationships. I can go call Chloe if you want,” she smirked as she traced the trail of hair that led down his chiseled stomach.
“There’s a difference between our pasts though, love.” He reached down and grabbed her hand, placing a light kiss on her palm. “No matter what has happened in your past, you have to know that it has all worked together to bring you to this moment, and for that I’m grateful. But I need to know you’ve let go, that you have forgiven him and forgiven what happened. Because if you can’t, you won’t be able to move on.”
“You still never told me your last name,” she said quickly changing the subject.
“O’Connell. Bishop O’Connell.”
“Christ, I have been banging you for weeks and I didn’t even know your real name.” She smacked her hand onto her forehead in embarrassment.
“What can I say? I like my women classy,” he smiled, “Anything else you want to know?”
“What do I need to know about being an old lady?” her eyes fluttered up to his, finding him staring intently at her.
“It’s not a job, Ani,” he said, slightly offended.
“I know that. But I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“You wouldn’t disappoint me, darlin’. You make the decision as to whether you want full disclosure or nothing at all. That’s the only way this can work.”
“Too early for full disclosure right now,” she smiled; eventually she would ask him for the nasty details, but until she knew she could stomach it, she would be satisfied with her rose colored glasses.
“Ok. You just tell me when you’re ready and we’ll talk,” his thumb brushed across the back of her hand sending sparks through her body. “But you need to know that club business stays in the club. We don’t talk about it to outsiders, not even Kate. Until she becomes an old lady, she has no business knowing what we talk about.”
“I know,” her voice was timid as she spoke. She already felt overwhelmed and they hadn’t even talked about anything.
“Hey,” his fingers brushed the bottom of her chin, pulling her face up to his. “One day at a time, love.” His teeth grazed along her bottom lip, pausing as he spoke, “You won’t disappoint me. I don’t care how strong you are, how brave you are. I want you to sit next to me and just be there, make me laugh, teach me the truths that I don’t already know. I will follow you to the end of the world and back, baby. I just need you to be there.” Their lips crashed together as he pulled her effortlessly onto his hard body.
They made love, using every inch of the bedroom to their advantage. Then made love again while they showered. She could never tire of his passion and fire toward her. He made her feel whole, like the last piece to her puzzle was finally in place. She was getting dressed in the extra clothes she had brought the weekend that she’d left Knox after the club, when a loud knock resounded off the bedroom door.
“Prez, we gotta problem.” She could hear Rage’s voice coming from the other side of the door.
“Hold the hell on,” Knox yelled toward the closed door as he slipped on his black jeans.
“Prez, you need to get out here, now,” Rage’s voice was anxious as he spoke, causing Knox to swing the door open.
Ani peeked her head out of the bathroom, as the light rumble of engines came floating in through the cracked window. She didn’t know what was going on as Knox grabbed a t-shirt and quickly pulled it over his head along with his black leather cut. He pulled his hair up into a tight bun as he walked swiftly to where she stood in the bathroom.
“You need to stay in here.” He placed a hard kiss on her lips and left.
Her heart began to race from the way he stormed out of the room. Something was wrong and she didn’t know what. She peeked out of the window to see the flashing blue and red lights below. A mixture of police cars, trucks, and motorcycles littered the front of the compound yard. God only knows what they had in the compound that the cops probably shouldn’t know about. She contemplated Knox’s words, you need to stay in here. Deciding against the idea, she walked out to the hallway in search of Kate. She couldn’t hear any voices and began making her way down the stairs. As she entered into the main room a fury of chaos came swarming in the door. A team of officer’s were pushing Knox in the door by his shirt collar and onto the ground. She froze in place as a large dark officer came toward her shouting.
“Get on the ground! Get the fuck down!” He held his gun up toward her as he screamed, grabbing her arm and thrusting her down onto the ground.
“Don’t you fucking touch her!” Knox yelled as he attempted to get up from the floor, only to get kicked hard in his ribs.
“I said get down!” the large officer shouted toward him.
“Ok, Mr. O’Connell. Where is Mr. O’Connell?” an older man in a police uniform asked as he strolled in the door. “Oh, here you are.” He knelt down toward Knox’s face, “You should have listened to my officers.”
“What do you want?” Knox coughed out.
“You see, I got an anonymous call last night. Wanna know what they told me?” the officer snickered, speaking with superiority.
“What? That your mother liked the fucking Repo
gave her last week?” Laughter erupted from the floor as the officers hand came down hard onto Knox’s face. Ani grimaced as he spit the blood from his mouth onto the shoes of the officer. “You hit like a pussy.”
“Enough!” another officer shouted.
“Now, Mr. O’Connell, my name is Officer Jones. I run the sheriff’s department here in Telico Plains. I got some news last night that you have a nice supply of guns and drugs here in your compound. So it looks like we will be tearing every inch of this place apart until we find something we like.”
“Go ahead, Officer Pussy,” Jameson spouted from the floor a few feet from where Ani lie.
“Get them outside,” the sheriff said angrily.
For the next two hours Ani sat on the ground outside, her hands zip tied behind her back as the sheriff’s department tore the clubhouse apart. She could hear the crashing and breaking of glass and wood from outside. They had the women separated from where the men sat by the garage. She tried to keep her head down in an attempt to not be seen, but every time one of the cops would walk by they would stare at her; trying to place where they knew her from.
“This should be over with pretty soon. Just hang in there girls,” Starla whispered over toward them.
“Ok, ladies. I need you to stand up and turn around please,” a tall female officer said, walking up to them with a pair of scissors in her hand. Ani studied her features, she was very pretty and unlike some female officers, she still held a certain feminine look in her uniform. “I suggest you keep it quiet around here for a while. Departments gonna be watching your every move.” She winked as she cut loose the ties around their hands.
“Yes, ma’am,” Starla said, flexing her wrists from where the ties had cut into her skin.
“Tell Knox, I said I’m sorry for not calling. Sprung this one on us at the last minute. New fucking sheriff wants to have a dick measuring contest I guess,” the female officer said as she leaned over toward Starla.
“Don’t they all, Honey?” Starla answered. “Tell your mama I will bring her some more of that honey in a week or so.”
Wild Heart (The Wild Heart Series) Page 14