Cut Too Deep

by Marissa Farrar

  Garrett’s face was pale and taut. “Don’t push me, Jenna. I’ll kill you if I want to. I’ve killed those others, so don’t believe for one second that I’m not capable of it.”

  “Oh, I know you’re capable, which is the exact reason I don’t think you want me dead. You’ve had plenty of opportunity, yet you’ve followed my suggestions and done as I asked, and I’m still alive.”

  He let go of Mikey and charged forward to tower over her, his face in hers. His putrid breath washed over her as he tried to intimidate her, but she held her breath and stayed stock-still. “I could kill you if I wanted to!”

  “Do it then. Let the other two go, and get it over with. You know you’re going back to jail after this, Garrett. There’s no point in taking anyone else down with us.”

  From the corner of her eye, she saw Ryker catch Mikey’s eye and jerk his chin toward the baseball bat still lying half under the bed.

  Mikey edged backward, the back of his foot touching the bat.

  She needed to keep Garrett’s attention focused on her. “Do it then. Come on! Do it. I’m right here, you pathetic piece of crap.”

  His hands shot out, the knife falling from his fingers and clattering to the floor, and his hands wrapped around her throat, closing in a vice. Jenna choked, and clawed at his fingers. Her breath swelled in her lungs, burning.

  “Get off her!” Ryker yelled, He started to scrabble to his feet, using the bed to try and pull himself up, but his useless arm fell to his side, blood spilling onto the floor.

  Her eyes darted frantically to Ryker, trying to make him understand that she didn’t want him to save her. She only wanted him to take Mikey and run.

  Her vision clouded at the edges and then turned black, like paper scorching. Behind Garrett, Mikey rose up to full height, clutching the baseball bat. Her ex-boyfriend’s attention was purely directed at her, watching her face as she imagined it turn from red, to purple, to blue as the oxygen slowly drained from her system. His hands tightened and he gave her a slight shake as if to hurry up the process. There was no sign of humanity or compassion in his eyes. He was focused on one thing, and that was killing her. Finally, she’d pushed him too far.

  Mikey moved behind him, leaning back on his right foot, taking the bat, clutched in two hands, with him.

  The black around her vision descended, her lungs feeling as though they would explode, but then she heard a crack, just as if Mikey had hit a homerun, and suddenly the hands around her throat vanished.

  Jenna fell to the floor, gasping for breath in painful wheezes, clutching at her throat.

  Garrett stayed upright for a few seconds, and then he folded at the knees and crumpled to the ground, narrowly missing Jenna. His eyes were still open, but they stared up at spot high on the wall, unseeing, and she knew he was dead.

  Stunned silence fell over them all.

  Ryker was the first to move. “Oh, shit, Jenna. Are you all right?” He half crawled toward her on his knees, holding the arm that had been stabbed tight against his body to prevent further blood loss.

  She tried to tell him she was okay, but her voice came out as a rasp. Her throat burned as if she’d been swallowing fire. He reached her and she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck and choking back a sob. It felt so good to hold him again, to inhale his scent, feel his warmth, and know they were both alive. She didn’t ever want to let go.

  Mikey dropped the baseball bat, the crash making them jump.

  “Oh my God, Mikey,” Ryker said, releasing her to turn to his brother. “You saved our lives. You have no idea how proud I am of you right now.”

  The boy let out a strange sob, and fell to his knees beside them. Jenna let go of Ryker with one arm to pull Mikey into the hug, creating a circle.

  “You’re a hero, Mikey,” she told him, slowly regaining her voice. It came out as a rasp and hurt her throat to speak, but the more she spoke, the stronger her voice became.

  Mikey’s gaze flicked back to the body crumpled on the floor. “I killed him.”

  She took him by the shoulders, and drew back to look him in the eye. “If you hadn’t, he would have killed all of us, and probably more people after. You did the right thing. Don’t ever think you didn’t.”

  They all glanced back to the body. A pool of blood was starting to spread out like a halo behind Garrett’s head, and she knew without looking that the back of his skull had been caved in. That, together with the blood still smeared across the lower half of his face from where she’d broken his nose, made for a macabre sight. She dug deep inside herself, trying to tell if any part of her felt sorrow at Garrett’s death. She wanted to think she at least had that in her, to regret the loss of another life, but all she felt was cold satisfaction.

  “Come on,” said Ryker, putting his arm around Mikey’s shoulders. “Let’s go downstairs. We need to call the police.”

  Jenna’s gaze flicked down to where Ryker’s arm still bled freely, and her stomach turned at the way his hand flopped from the end of his arm. She prayed no permanent damage had been done.

  “We need to ask for an ambulance at the same time,” she said. “That arm and your head wound need attention.”

  Ryker nodded, not even trying to be macho about the situation.

  Holding each other up, the three of them left the bedroom and slowly staggered downstairs into the living room. She left Mikey and Ryker on the couch, and headed into the kitchen to call nine-one-one.

  The dispatcher told her they’d send the emergency services out right away, and Jenna hung up.

  Everything that had happened suddenly swept over her and she sank to the floor, her face in her hands, and cried silently. She only allowed herself the luxury of a few minutes. She had Ryker and Mikey to think about now.

  Jenna took a deep breath and pushed herself to standing. She wiped her face dry of her tears and walked back into the living room.

  She sat down on the couch, with Mikey between her and Ryker. The boy’s eyes were red, his face pale. As she reached out to touch his arm, she felt him tremble beneath her fingertips.

  “I’m so sorry for bringing him into your life,” she said, gently.

  Mikey sniffed. “You were going to let him kill you for me and Ryker.”

  “And I’d do it again if I had to. You’re a good kid, Mikey. You have your whole life ahead of you. You have someone who loves you, your brother. I couldn’t let that son of a bitch take that away from either of you. My death would have been worth it.”

  He shook his head. “No, no it wouldn’t. You have someone who loves you, too. My brother.”

  Ryker nodded. “He’s right. But if I had lost either of you, my life wouldn’t have been worth living.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she said again, filled with regret. “I should have left sooner, and then you wouldn’t have gone through all of this.”

  Ryker reached across Mikey’s shoulder with his good arm to place his hand against the back of her neck. She took comfort from the contact.

  “Shh. It’s not your fault,” Ryker said. “You could have left sooner, but I lied to you. I stopped you from leaving. But listen to me, and I’m talking to both of you.” Both Jenna and Mikey looked at him intently. “None of this was anyone’s fault but his. No one invited him here, or asked him to be a murderer. Both of you, if there’s any guilt in this room, let go of it now, because I won’t have it living under my roof.”

  She studied his eyes. “You still want me here?”

  “Well, only if it’s okay with Mikey, of course.”

  The boy shrugged. “You offered to let the guy kill you to save me. I think living here isn’t much to say thank you.”

  Jenna gave him a smile.

  They held each other as the wail of sirens approached.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  A month had passed since Garrett’s death.

  Ryker had spent the last month in and out of hospital for surgeries to the severed tendons and ligaments in his forearm.
Being unable to work, his injury had affected the business, as had the loss of Sam, which had hit Ryker hard. Sam had been like a father to him, and seeing Ryker go through such grief had broken Jenna’s heart. Ryker had paid for Sam’s funeral—the man had no other family to speak of. They’d all attended, and many tears had been shed.

  Finally settled in one place, Jenna had financially been able to make up the difference the business lost while Ryker recuperated, and she’d been happy to do so. Paying her own way and helping the small family had seemed like the least she could do, considering what they’d been through because of her.

  Jenna had been working through her own issues. She no longer stopped every time she passed a mirror to examine her flesh and pinch her fat in the reflection. She had the body of a survivor, a strong, healthy body that had survived the worst that could be thrown at it. She still had some control issues, especially now she was living in Ryker’s house and trying to fit in with some of the not-so-great habits of a teenage boy, but she was getting a hold on them. As for her body confidence, Ryker never gave her any reason to think his feelings for her had changed.

  Detective Nick Harlem had traveled to Arlington the moment he’d heard about the incident. Though the crime had been committed out of his jurisdiction, he’d told Jenna he’d wanted to make sure she was okay. It had been good to see him again, and she’d reassured him that she was in a much better place now. He’d asked her if she planned on getting back on the road, but she’d told him no. That part of her life was over. She had nothing she needed to run from anymore.

  Counseling and support had been offered to everyone involved, and though Jenna and Ryker didn’t feel they needed it themselves, they agreed to go along for the sake of Mikey. Taking a man’s life at such a young age—or at any age—even when done in self defense or to save those you love, would haunt him, probably for the rest of his life. Social services had, of course, been sniffing around them, wanting to determine whether or not Ryker’s house was still the best place for Mikey to be living. After much debate, it was agreed that it would only traumatize the boy more to move him into a foster home, and the authorities came to the conclusion, since the threat had come from outside of the home, and not within, that Mikey could stay as long as they agreed to weekly meetings, and keeping the appointments with the counselor. Both Mikey and Ryker had agreed to these terms willingly.

  Jenna hated that she’d been the one to bring such pain into Mikey’s life.

  They sat on the couch one lazy Sunday afternoon, almost four weeks since the nightmare with Garrett, and she said as much to Ryker. He put his arm around her and told her it wasn’t her fault.

  “I just keep going over and over everything in my head, trying to figure out all the places where I went wrong, or where I could have done something differently. I wish to God I had never mentioned to Garrett about me not believing you were dead unless I saw a body. If I’d kept my mouth shut, Garrett would never have brought me here and Mikey wouldn’t have been forced to do what he did.”

  He held her close and kissed the top of her head. “And then you’d probably be dead right now. You’re not the only one who wishes they’d done thing differently, Jenna. I wish I’d taken you seriously about Garrett. I wish I hadn’t lied to you so you’d felt the need to go to the garage alone that day. Hell, I wish I’d gone to work that morning so Sam wouldn’t have died alone.”

  They sat in silence for a moment, each trying to come to terms with their own mistakes.

  Eventually, Ryker said, “Anyway, haven’t you noticed the change in Mikey these last few weeks?”

  She had. Mikey seemed far more open with them than before. He no longer locked himself away in his room, or sat gaming for hours on end. He ate his meals with them at the kitchen table, chatting about his day, sports, or what he’d been watching on television. Ryker hadn’t even been called in to school to sort out the usual sort of trouble his brother used to get into.

  Mikey had even apologized to Jenna for stealing her credit card. “If I hadn’t taken the card,” he’d said, “then your ex would never have found you.”

  In the scope of things, a stolen credit card wasn’t a big deal, but it must have been playing on Mikey’s mind. Jenna had given him a hug. “Garrett would have found me eventually,” she’d told him.

  “I’m sending all the stuff back,” he’d said.

  Playfully, she’d smacked him around the back of the head. “Too damn right, you are!”

  The next day, the gaming gear had arrived, and they’d sent it straight back. The stolen card had never been mentioned again.

  “I think Mikey is realizing how close he came to losing you,” she said to Ryker, “And maybe that’s made him appreciate you a little more. Maybe he’s even appreciating his own life a little more.”

  Ryker smiled. “And he’s treating you like a hero. The woman who offered up her own life for him. You can do no wrong in his eyes.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m sure he’ll get sick of me sooner or later. I’m surprised he hasn’t already started complaining about me still living in his house.”

  Ryker shifted away from her on the couch. He appeared nervous, and she noticed his hand trembling. “Actually,” he said, slowly, and her heart dropped. “I kind of wanted to talk to you about that.”

  Suddenly she felt sick. Was this it? Was he finally going to ask her to leave? Things had been going so well for her, but she always misread situations, and perhaps she’d finally out stayed her welcome.

  He took her hand. “Jenna, there’s something I want to ask you. I know I should probably have taken you somewhere fancy and romantic, but I didn’t want to wait, and also someone else wanted to be here to hear the answer. This is your home now, and I know a home isn’t something you’ve had for a very long time.” He reached behind a cushion and pulled out a small box, before dropping to his knee in front of her. “We haven’t been together for very long, but the time we have been together, we’ve been through more than most couples would go through in a lifetime. You’re smart, and beautiful, and quite possibly the bravest person I have ever met. Jenna Armstrong, I hope you’ll consider this to be your home for the rest of your life, and I hope you’ll allow me to be in your life for that long as well. Will you marry me?”

  He flicked open the box to reveal an eternity ring of diamonds. A lump rose in her throat and she choked back tears.

  He looked at her with those deep, blue eyes, tears swimming in their depths. “It belonged to our grandmother on our Dad’s side,” he told her. “We both thought you should have it.”

  Jenna clutched her hand to her mouth, overcome and unable to speak.

  His face took on a worried look. “Is it a yes?”

  She nodded frantically, wiping at her tears and finding her voice. “Yes! Of course it’s a yes!”

  She threw herself into his arms, so they both ended up on the floor. Ryker caught her up in his arms and kissed her through her tears. His mouth was warm and sweet, and felt just like coming home.

  They broke the kiss long enough for Ryker to take the ring from the box and slip it onto her finger. It was a perfect fit.

  She twisted her hand in the light, the multi-faceted diamonds glinted rainbows back at her. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

  Feet pounded down the stairs and Mikey’s head popped around the door. “Have you asked her yet?”

  Ryker rolled his eyes. “Good thing I have, because you’d have spoiled the moment.”

  He grinned. “I knew you had, really. I was listening from upstairs.”

  Ryker gave him a playful punch on the shoulder.

  Jenna held out her hand, displaying the ring.

  “It was our grandma’s,” Mikey said.

  “I’m honored to be wearing it, Mikey. Thank you.”

  The boy shrugged. “Don’t thank me. It was Ryker who gave it to you.”

  She gave the boy a smile. “You know what I mean. It means the world to me.”

  Mikey blushed and
gave another shrug. “Yeah, well, you’re family now.”

  Jenna glanced between Ryker and Mikey and smiled. He was right.

  She was home and she’d finally found her family.

  Acknowledgments

  I wrote this book differently to how I normally write. A friend of mine, Reetah Mitchel, sent me a link to Wattpad, and an article about how well people were doing on the site. I figured I’d give it a go, so instead of writing Cut Too Deep in my usual unplanned, unedited way, I wrote each chapter, and then edited it, before posting it to Wattpad.

  Because of this, one of my proofreaders, Glynis Elliott, was pestered by me every few days for two months to read yet another chapter, and another, and another, until the book was done. So a huge thank you to you, Glynis, for your patience and putting up with me only wanting one thing from you.

  Thanks as always, to my editor Lori Whitwam! You know I wouldn’t be without you!

  A big thank you to all the Wattpad readers, for all your words of encouragement and comments about the story. Your comments made me want to write and post even faster so I didn’t keep you all waiting too long.

  And, of course, thank you to my readers. Without you, there would be no books. I will always do my best to write the best I can for you.

  If you want to stay updated about my new releases, please sign up to my new release list on my blog. You will receive notification of when a new book comes out, together with exclusive previews and sales!

  www.marissa-farrar.blogspot.com

  Thank you once again.

  Marissa.

  About the Author

  Marissa Farrar is a multi-published fantasy and horror author. She was born in Devon, England, has travelled all over the world, and has lived in both Australia and Spain. She now resides in the countryside with her husband, three young children, a crazy Spanish dog, and two rescue cats. Despite returning to England, she daydreams of one day being able to split her time between her home country and the balmy, white sandy beaches of Spain.