Gorgeous Chaos

by T. K. Leigh

  Olivia grabbed the microphone off the piano and stood up, needing to do something to try and mute the sobs that echoed through the large room. “Melanie wouldn’t have wanted us to be crying for her. We need to remember the girl she was…” Olivia trailed off. She took a deep breath, trying to subdue the lump that was forming in her throat, tears threatening to fall once more. “I guess I’m one to talk.” The audience laughed politely, many of them wiping their eyes.

  “I remember the day Melanie came in for her interview at the wellness center. I knew right then and there that she was perfect for the job. She had so much energy. You couldn’t help but smile when she greeted you at the front desk. She was always cheerful, no matter what was going on in her life. You see, that’s the thing about Mel. You never really knew what was going on in her life. It was never about Mel. With her, it was always about you. She was always more concerned with your problems than her own. She was a psych major at Northeastern, and she would have been a fantastic therapist… I should know.” The crowd laughed again as Olivia’s eyes met Alexander’s.

  A small tear escaped before she composed herself. “So tonight we’re going to remember our dear friend…a friend who was taken from us far too soon, but whose memory will go on.” She turned and walked back to the piano while Mo introduced the first song they would be performing.

  The next hour seemed to pass by relatively quickly with a few people getting on stage to talk about Melanie, some performing different poems and others barely managing to get through what they wanted to say. The band played between speakers, mostly upbeat songs that Melanie enjoyed and her parents had requested.

  After the final speaker finished, Mo walked over and traded places with Olivia, sitting behind the piano. She grabbed a microphone, as did the rest of the band members. They stood alongside Olivia, ready to finish the song if she couldn’t do it.

  Taking a step forward, she addressed the audience. “This last song we’ll be doing is one our good friend, Kiera, who couldn’t be here tonight, requested we perform. I’m sorry if it makes some of you cry…” Olivia took another deep breath. “Hell, I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to get through it. This is Be Still by The Fray.”

  Mo began to play, the simple chords of the song filling the bar. Not a sound could be heard, apart from the gentle melody coming from the piano.

  Alexander listened as Olivia sang the simple haunting tune, saying good-bye to Melanie. He didn’t even know the girl that well, but he couldn’t help but feel Olivia’s loss…and Tyler’s. He glanced around the bar and everyone was breaking out tissues, crying softly for the unbearable pain of losing someone so young.

  His eyes found Melanie’s parents in the audience, remorse overwhelming him as he watched them clutching on to each other. Seeing their bodies shake from their tears, he wondered whether he was doing the right thing. His failure to tell Olivia everything may have caused their pain. Was their suffering really worth it? He was unsure. He knew the pain they were going through all too well. He went through the same thing when he thought he had lost Olivia all those years ago. Now that he knew where she was, was it his fault that those poor people had lost their own daughter?

  There wasn’t a dry eye in the place when Olivia finished the song. She took a deep breath, surprised that she had actually made it all the way through without cracking. She looked down, grabbing her glass off the barstool in front of her and raised it. “To Melanie,” she said, her chin quivering as the emotion of the song overcame her.

  She ran off the stage, desperately needing a friend, only to remember that two of the people she normally ran to when she was upset weren’t there. Kiera was in the hospital and Melanie would never be able to smack some sense into her again. It broke Olivia’s heart. She ran toward the restroom, wondering why she even cared if people saw her crying. Half the audience was still sobbing. Midway across the room, she stopped and sank to the ground, not able to take another step, her cries overtaking her entire body.

  “Hey, hey,” Mo said, rushing to her and sitting on the floor next to her, pulling her into his arms. He looked up to see Alexander standing over them both. Mo glared at him in warning and he took several steps back, giving them their space.

  “It’s not fair, Mo,” Olivia sobbed, using his shirt as a tissue. “I just don’t want to admit that she’s gone, and this feels so final. I’m just not ready to say good-bye to her…”

  “Shhhh…” Mo soothed her. “This isn’t good-bye. You don’t have to say good-bye to her. This is just kind of ‘until we meet again’.”

  “I want to fucking kill them all, Mo. I’m sorry. I just can’t stop crying. I wish I could, but I can’t.”

  Olivia felt another set of arms around her and glanced to her left to see Bridget carrying a box of tissues, joining her and Mo on the floor. “I came prepared,” she joked through her own tears, handing Olivia the box.

  She smiled weakly. “I wish I had.”

  Mo rubbed her back, helping her work through her tears. As they subsided, he grabbed her chin, bringing her eyes flush with his. “Feel better now, baby girl?”

  She nodded.

  “Good. Because we’ve got a show to do,” he replied, pulling both Olivia and Bridget up.

  “I’ll be right there,” Olivia said. “Just give me a minute.”

  “Okay, baby girl,” Mo said, hugging her and planting a chaste kiss on her forehead.

  She walked over to the bar to get another drink, watching as Melanie’s parents took down all the photos of their daughter. Many of the guests left the area as normal bar patrons began to flood the second floor to see the band perform their regular set.

  Olivia approached Melanie’s mother as she was about to remove a framed photo from the piano. “Leave that one,” she said, grabbing her arm. “Please…” she implored.

  Sandra smiled. “Of course. And thank you, Olivia, dear. I know you must be so confused right now, thinking that this is all Alexander’s fault.”

  Olivia looked at her in shock.

  “Tyler told us all about it and we spoke with Alexander this evening. He feels extremely guilty for what happened but, the thing is, I don’t blame him. And I don’t blame you. The only person I blame is sitting in a jail cell right now.”

  “But if he hadn’t kept secrets from me, none of this would have happened.”

  Sandra took a deep breath. “Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll never know. But what I do know is that it’s not worth losing someone over. Haven’t you already lost enough?”

  Olivia looked at her and simply nodded. “Maybe I just want him to stop keeping things from me.”

  “Oh, dear,” Sandra said, smiling. Melanie looked so much like her mother. The resemblance was remarkable. “We always tend to keep things from people we love to protect them. It’s our human nature.” She wrapped her arms around Olivia. “Thank you for everything.”

  Olivia contemplated her words for a moment as she watched her walk away. Maybe she was right. She had lost enough already. Losing Melanie was one more person than she had ever wanted to, and here she was pushing Alexander away because he was trying to protect her. But she wanted to know who she was.

  Mo walked up to Olivia, a concerned look on his face. “Hey. Are you okay? You ready?”

  Olivia looked over to see Alexander standing at the bar, drinking a beer.

  “Yes.” Olivia climbed onto the stage, helping the guys rearrange the set and pushing the baby grand piano toward the center. Dale sat behind the drum set and Mo stood off to the side with his guitar as the other band members hung back.

  “How’s everyone doing tonight?” she asked, her voice void of emotion. She took a deep breath and began to introduce her song. “Sorry if we’re kind of out of it tonight, but we all lost a dear friend a few weeks ago. Her name was Melanie Brooks and that’s her photo sitting on the piano. I hate to think her death could have been avoided if it weren’t for all the fucking secrets.” She looked at Alexander, his eyes growing wide in response t
o her words. “I don’t know what else I can say to you anymore,” she continued, her voice quivering. “I just want the truth.” Taking a deep breath, she positioned her hands on the piano. “This is Come Clean by Tristan Prettyman.”

  Alexander listened as she began to play the opening chords of the song, her sad voice filling the bar. Her eyes met his as she begged him to tell her what she wanted to know. At that instant, he realized that Olivia deserved to know who she was, where she came from. She deserved to know her family and it was selfish for him to keep her past from her any longer, regardless of what the consequences were.

  He turned away, unable to look into her cold, hard stare any longer. As he walked out of the bar, he knew the only way to hold on to her was to do what she was begging him to do. He needed to come clean.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  BELONG TOGETHER

  “DELIVERY FOR MISS ADLER,” Olivia heard one morning several weeks later, waking her up.

  She groggily dragged herself off the couch toward the front door. “Who the fuck is banging at my door on a Friday morning?” she muttered under her breath. She looked through the peephole and saw several men dressed in military fatigues with boxes stacked high.

  “What is all of this?” she asked, opening the door, glancing up the street. A disappointed look crossed her face when she met Carter’s eyes and not Alexander’s sitting watch outside in the SUV. He had been mysteriously absent from her security detail since Melanie's memorial service. She wondered if he had decided to move on, not wanting to give her the information that she longed for.

  “We’re not privy to the contents, ma’am,” he answered in a very matter-of-fact manner. “Mr. Burnham just asked us to safeguard the boxes as they were transported here this morning.”

  “Okay…” She stepped aside to allow the men to enter her house, her heart fluttering in her chest at the mention of Alexander's name.

  “Where would you like everything? There are over fifty boxes.”

  She led them to the large guest bedroom off the living room. “Go ahead and put them in here, please.” She watched as the men entered her home and stacked the boxes, rather efficiently, where she had asked them to. One person checked off the numbers on the boxes, matching them with a spreadsheet as they were brought in. Once he was able to ensure that everything was present and accounted for, Olivia signed the manifest and was left alone in her house, wondering what all the boxes contained. She spied an enveloped attached to one and decided to begin there.

  My Dearest Olivia,

  I’ve thought long and hard about what to do. I know that you’re desperate for information about your past. I hope you find some answers in these boxes. My dad, apparently, kept everything that belonged to you so I’m returning it all. Maybe these will help you to remember your life before the accident.

  What I don’t want to tell you, but I know I have to, is what those men are after. You see, your father was a CIA analyst and he became suspicious that certain people in the agency and other governmental agencies were making deals for U.S. military equipment and intelligence with known terror organizations. He had amassed evidence to that tune. Instead of keeping it at work where anyone could have found out what he did, he brought it home. He became concerned that someone was onto him, so he wanted to hide it. He locked it in a small chest for safekeeping until he could turn it over to the right hands. Of course, you were just a little girl at the time and you didn’t know, but you wanted to play your little Treasure Map game. That’s why these guys are after you. You hid those documents and these people want them.

  Please heed my warning. These people are dangerous, Olivia. If you do remember what happened to that chest you buried all those years ago, your usefulness is gone. They will kill you, and I cannot have that happen. We will find a way to make sure that everyone gets taken down and that you survive. I will protect you.

  I will always protect you.

  I love you with all my heart.

  Yours forever,

  Alexander

  P.S. - Please burn this letter immediately upon reading. XOXO - Your Own Personal Mercenary-In-Training

  Smiling, she grabbed a matchbook from her mantle in the living room and held the flame to the piece of paper, knowing that Alexander wouldn’t want that information getting into the wrong hands. Retreating back into the guest room, she lifted the lid off the first box she saw and began sorting through all the photos she came across.

  There were hundreds, spanning the first six years of her life. A tear escaped when she found one from when she was probably not even a week old. A small boy sat in a rocking chair, holding a little baby with a full head of dark hair. She turned the photo over and saw what she remembered to be her mother’s handwriting.

  Alex (2 years) and Olivia (5 days) – Mystic house.

  She lived in Mystic. Maybe that’s why everything seemed so familiar when Alexander took her there. Anxious to learn more, she spent all day sorting through hundreds of old photos. She would laugh and cry, sometimes both at the same time, as memories came flooding back.

  Alexander really was an important part of her life from early on. He was in nearly every photo with her. There were pictures from birthday parties, summers on the beach, and various holidays.

  The hours wore on as she continued to learn about the life that she knew nothing about. She had rummaged through a few boxes, but was beginning to feel overwhelmed by everything that still remained.

  She decided to sort through one more box before calling it a night. Her heart stopped when she pulled back the lid. “Mr. Bear!” she cried out, grabbing the stuffed animal and hugging it close to her body. The large powder pink bear must have been the same size as she was as a little girl. Inhaling deeply, she snuggled with her childhood toy.

  A memory came flooding back. She had gone to the boardwalk with Alexander and her mother one summer day while they were spending time at the beach. Olivia remembered what a whiny little brat she had been as a child and was surprised that Alexander would even put up with it when he could have been playing with other boys.

  She had seen that bear as a prize at one of the boardwalk game stands. She begged and begged for Alexander to win it for her. He had spent nearly all afternoon trying to capture the prize she wanted. As they were about to close for the day, he finally got the ring around the bottle. Olivia remembered kissing him on the mouth.

  “You got that bear the day you kissed me for the first time.”

  Olivia turned her head toward the doorway, surprised to see Alexander standing there, his hands sheepishly placed in his pockets. “Yeah, but I had to give myself a cooties shot after that, if I recall correctly.” She smirked playfully at him.

  He grinned, taking a few steps closer to where Olivia sat on the floor, clutching her bear. “Yes. You did. Do you remember what you said that day?” he asked, sitting down next to her.

  She stared deep into his eyes. “I told you that you’d have to marry me to make an honest woman out of me.”

  Alexander erupted in laughter, the sound bringing a smile to Olivia’s face. “That you did.” His eyes narrowed and his laughter died down. “I still plan on marrying you, Olivia.”

  She sighed, looking at her bear. “I know, Alexander. You’ve just dropped a bomb on me and I need some time to process all of this.”

  “Okay,” he replied, clutching her hands in his. “I’ll give you all the time you need. Just please don’t do anything stupid now that you know everything.”

  Olivia stood up, grabbing her bear. “But I don’t know everything. I can’t remember playing that Treasure Map game for the life of me.”

  He raised himself off the floor and walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay.” His voice was full of compassion. “That’s what all this stuff is here for…to help you remember. It’s going to take more than a day to figure it all out, but I’m here to fill in the blanks if you need me to.”

  Olivia lifted herself onto her
tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you, Alexander.” She looked at him and his eyes were still closed.

  “God, your lips are so soft.”

  She pressed her lips to his again. He moaned before slipping his tongue in her mouth, caressing hers. Olivia giggled, pulling away from the kiss. “You better watch it, or I’m going to have to give myself another cooties shot.”

  He grabbed her waist and pulled her body flush with his. “I think we’re far past worrying about cooties, don’t you agree?” His eyes became hooded and Olivia’s heart started to race.

  She nodded and dropped Mr. Bear to the ground, unable to break her eyes away from Alexander’s.

  He gently lowered his mouth to hers.

  “I still haven’t forgiven you,” she murmured against his lips.

  “What’s it going to take for you to do that?” He planted soft kisses up and down her neck.

  “Tell me. Please, Alexander.”

  He pulled back, searching her eyes. “What, love?”

  “You know what. I want to hear you say it. What you used to call me all those years ago. What I’ve heard you calling me in my dreams all these years.”

  A sly grin crossed his face. “I love you, Olibia.”

  Her heart swelled and she grabbed his head in her hands, forcing his lips against hers.

  He picked her up and pinned her against the wall.

  She wrapped her legs around his waist.

  “Do you feel that, baby? You feel what you do to me?” he asked, thrusting himself against her, burying his head in her neck.

  Olivia was aflame with the sensations coursing through her body from Alexander’s touch.

  “Tell me you feel this, Olivia,” he begged. “Tell me you feel how much I love you. How much I can’t live without you.”

  “I do, Alexander. I feel it,” she said, her breathing heavy.