Bridal Trap
Page 16
"That was different," Robyn retorted. "You didn't love me. You only wanted me because I—I was available. Someone to amuse yourself with as long as you were caught in a trap."
"Which is exactly the same reason you came to me," Trev pointed out grimly. "A 'fringe benefit' I believe you called it."
Yes, it was what she had said, Robyn agreed silently. But it wasn't true. She had thrown herself at him for one reason, and one reason only. Because she loved him.
"Okay, I'll admit it," Trev said slowly. "When we went through that marriage ceremony, I had two things on my mind. One was making Grandma happy before she died. The other was wanting you on a pretty much physical basis." He hesitated, then went on in an almost puzzled voice. "But there was something else too. Something I perhaps didn't recognize because I'd never felt it before. Or maybe I was afraid to recognize it. It started the very first time I saw you on the beach struggling to save that damn bird. I felt it again that time I brought you back to your house and Larry was there, acting as if he owned you. And he was still there when I went back later. I was really shaken up. I'd never felt that way about any woman before."
Robyn just looked at him, wide-eyed, uncertain what he was saying. "But if you felt something for me, why did you turn away from me and reject me that night?" she asked, bewildered. Then as the hurt and humiliation of that terrible night flooded back to her, her voice dropped almost to a whisper. "You treated me as if you couldn't stand to touch me. As if I were repugnant to you."
He shook his head. "No," he said flatly. "I wanted you more than I've ever wanted anything or anyone in my life."
"You chose a strange way to show it," Robyn said bitterly.
"Perhaps I did," he agreed slowly. "But that night, for the first time in my life, I felt something that was more than purely male instinct. I wanted more from you than just desire, using me as a 'fringe benefit.' Just sex wasn't enough, I wanted your love."
Robyn's bewilderment returned. "You looked at me with such contempt. I—"
"It wasn't contempt for you," he broke in harshly. "It was contempt for myself. I heard my own words coming from you about how we might as well get something for ourselves out of the marriage we were trapped in. I realized how cold-blooded and meaning-less they were. I knew then that I didn't want anything less than your love. But I also realized I'd messed things up so badly that you could never love me."
Robyn shook her head. "I felt humiliated. Hurt beyond words. But I loved you so much I wanted you on any terms." She hesitated before adding softly, "I still do."
"You're willing to have me on any terms?"
Her hopes suddenly rose as the reasons for his humiliating rejection of her that night became clear. "Yes! I love you." She hesitated. "And you're saying, I think you're saying, you care for me too."
"I love you," he said. But it was not a happy or joyous statement. It was a stony, almost angry admission, and his face had a set, detached expression. "You should never have come here."
"But I don't understand!" Robyn cried, emotions plummeting again. "I love you. You say you love me. Why shouldn't I have come?"
"Because I intended to come back to you when this was all over, when I was on my feet and healthy, and tell you I loved you and see if we couldn't somehow start all over. I didn't want you to see me like this because I knew you'd do just what you're doing. Saying you love me just because you feel sorry for me, because you feel a duty to take care of me because I'm like some stranded seagull. And I will not have you under those conditions!"
Robyn stared at him, angry and frustrated by his stubbornness. He was saying he loved her, and she certainly loved him. And yet he was throwing up this insurmountable barrier between them. "Yes, I do feel sorry for you!" she stormed angrily. "I feel sorry for you because you're stubborn and hardheaded and unable to see that I really love you, that my feelings have nothing to do with duty or a sense of responsibility. Sorry because you are obstinate and what your grandmother would probably have called just plain pigheaded!"
A flash of anger glittered in his blue eyes and his chiseled lips compressed into a harsh line. "Do you say such sweet things to every man you're in love with?"
"If you want to be rid of me then you'll have to divorce me," Robyn said firmly. "I can be stubborn too. You can't get up out of that bed to divorce me, so I guess you're just stuck with me." She braced her legs and folded her arms determinedly.
She felt a stir of alarm as he reached for the blue robe hanging by his bed. He yanked it around his shoulders and tied the rope cord at his waist. Then he flung the covers aside and hung his feet over the side of the bed.
"What are you doing?" Robyn cried, aghast. She ran to him, reaching out to grab him as his feet touched the floor. "You mustn't—"
"Don't help me!"
He brushed her hand aside and stood up. He took a few steps, pausing at the foot of the bed to eye her challengingly, then continuing on until he was standing by the window. He turned to face her.
"See? I'm not helpless. For a while I thought I would be. But the operation on my back was a success and I've been undergoing physical therapy treatments. I may have a slight permanent limp, but that is all. I'll be out of here in a week or two. You're free. You don't have to hang around to take care of me. So go on, go home. Get out."
Robyn just stood there, astonished and shaken. Even his paleness and the robe and hospital pajamas couldn't conceal his rugged masculinity, that air of raw maleness just beneath the surface that had always touched something deep and primitive within her. A muscle twitched spasmodically beneath that thin scar on his jaw.
"I love you," she said helplessly. "You're stubborn and infuriating. But I love you." There was an odd expression in his intense blue eyes. "Don't keep saying that if you don't mean it because—"
He stopped without finishing the sentence. He took a determined stride toward her, then another. She wanted to run to him again, wanted to throw her arms around him, but she didn't. She forced herself to stand rigidly motionless as his strength and assurance seemed to increase with each step.
Then his arms were around her and his mouth found hers and claimed it in a kiss that ravished her mind and senses, awakened those same longings that only he had ever aroused.
When he finally lifted his mouth from hers, his eyes looked deep into hers. "I don't need you to take care of me," he said almost fiercely. "But I do need and want your love. For always. Because I love you. And this time," his voice was husky as he held her eyes in his smouldering blue gaze, "and this time, I shall make certain that we have a real wedding night."