A Secret Garden

by Katie Fforde

  ‘Yes,’ he said, not looking at the garden but at her. She blushed.

  ‘I’m just going to walk around and check on the rest of it. I’ve concentrated most of my efforts – and my team’s efforts – on this.’

  ‘That seems sensible. If you can’t restore the entire garden in the time you had, even if you’d had hundreds of assistants – you might as well do one bit perfectly.’

  ‘That’s what I thought.’ On impulse, because she wanted to stop him moving away to do whatever it was he’d come to do – apart from talk to her – she said, ‘Have you heard we’ve got a Turner Prize winner exhibiting?’

  ‘Ben Hennessy? Yes. My old mate. Known him for years. I’m looking forward to seeing his piece. Do you know where it is?’

  ‘By the lake,’ said Lorna. ‘I suggested it. I thought it sounded – well, you know, a good spot.’

  ‘Not as good as my spot though,’ said Jack.

  ‘Kirstie wasn’t to know that,’ said Lorna.

  ‘You saved this’ – he indicated his sculpture with a casual flick of his hand – ‘for me?’

  Lorna nodded. ‘You were here first. I didn’t see why you shouldn’t keep your chosen position.’

  He gave a slightly crooked smile. ‘That’s good to hear,’ he said. But Lorna wondered if he didn’t mean something different.

  ‘Do you want to come on my garden tour with me?’ she suggested. ‘You can check out the competition.’

  ‘I’d like to have a look at Ben’s piece. That must have been fun to install.’

  ‘I don’t think it was fun for the installers.’

  He laughed. ‘Oh, don’t worry about them. They get paid handsomely to do it.’

  ‘I think he brought his own heavy-lifting gear.’

  Jack nodded. ‘Sounds like Ben. Great guy though. Very talented artist.’

  ‘Kirstie’s very impressed by him. She said she and Peter are considering buying his piece for hundreds of thousands of pounds.’ Lorna knew she should end it there but couldn’t stop herself adding, ‘I suggested they buy your piece. Much better value.’

  Jack shrugged. ‘I didn’t win the Turner.’

  ‘That’s what Kirstie said. I said that Rodin didn’t either.’

  He laughed. ‘Maybe you should be my agent.’

  She shook her head. ‘I’d be hopeless. Now come, I ought to be checking on the garden.’

  She lost him when he came across his old friend Ben, who was inspecting his bronze shards, which, Lorna was forced to admit, did look very good. She walked on, leaving them chatting and laughing together, to continue her tour.

  She was in front of the house trying to spot anything that needed her attention when Peter came up and stood beside her.

  ‘It’s all very splendid, isn’t it?’ she said.

  ‘Mm. But you know what? I sort of miss the times when we used to sit on the step together and put the world to rights.’

  ‘We could still do that,’ she said. ‘But maybe not now. Kirstie would feel – quite rightly – that we should be doing something more useful.’

  Peter grunted. ‘In many ways Kirstie is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but life was more peaceful before.’

  ‘Well, she’s certainly been the best thing that’s happened to this garden,’ said Lorna. ‘You would never have spent all this money on it if it hadn’t been for her.’

  ‘I’m glad you like her,’ he said.

  As Lorna hadn’t actually said she liked Kirstie she didn’t comment; instead she considered how she did feel about her. She certainly didn’t dislike her, but she didn’t think she’d ever be a real friend. ‘Well, why wouldn’t I?’ she said, as Peter seemed to be waiting for some sort of response.

  ‘I think she worries that she’s so much younger than people round here. You and my mother, for example.’

  While Lorna was certainly older than Kirstie, she wasn’t quite sure how she felt about being put into his mother’s age group. ‘Well, there’s Philly. She’s young.’

  ‘Too young, apparently,’ said Peter.

  ‘I don’t think age is an issue when it comes to friendships,’ she said firmly and then instantly thought about Jack. It might be a bit of an issue when it came to the sort of friendship she contemplated having with him.

  ‘No,’ said Peter, ‘but there is something about being with someone who gets your references.’

  ‘But Kirstie does that! You told me when you first met her?’

  ‘No – yes – she does. It’s great having Kirstie, it really is.’

  ‘You sound doubtful.’

  ‘I’m not really doubtful,’ he said slowly. ‘But it is very expensive having a younger partner.’

  She laughed. ‘You’ve always been such an old skinflint. It’s good for you to actually spend some of the money you’ve worked so hard to accumulate.’

  ‘Maybe,’ he said glumly. ‘But I might have to go and accumulate some more, if Kirstie’s plans go the way she wants them to.’

  ‘You’d like that. You’re too young to retire.’

  ‘I am, aren’t I?’

  Kirstie joined them. ‘So what are you two talking so earnestly about? Haven’t you got things to do?’ She looked at Lorna when she said this.

  ‘Lorna was just telling me I’m too young to retire,’ said Peter.

  ‘And I have got things I ought to be doing,’ said Lorna, setting off in the direction of the lake, feeling dismissed and disgruntled.

  She found Leo by the lake. ‘Hi, Mum. Sorry I slept in. Have you met Ben?’ Ben, tall and athletic, smiled at Lorna.

  ‘Not properly. Hi, Ben. I’m Lorna.’

  ‘I know. You’re Jack’s friend, aren’t you?’

  ‘Who’s Jack?’ said Leo.

  ‘One of the artists,’ said Lorna. ‘But he’s local. Here he is.’ She looked at her son as Jack approached and saw him stiffen. ‘Jack, come and meet Leo, my son.’

  ‘Oh, hi,’ said Jack, putting out his hand.

  Leo took it but he didn’t smile. He nodded and said, ‘Jack.’

  Lorna sighed and was glad to see Kirstie bustling towards them, clipboard in hand.

  ‘Come on, everyone! The paying public are arriving at any minute.’

  ‘Before we all rush off,’ said Lorna, ‘Kirstie, I’d like to introduce you to Leo, my son. He’s been helping with the tidying up in the garden.’

  ‘Leo!’ said Kirstie, smiling broadly. ‘Lovely to meet you.’

  It occurred to Lorna, as she caught the expression in Kirstie’s eyes, that Kirstie didn’t share her doubts about younger men.

  ‘Leo?’ said Lorna. ‘Will you come with me and see if Philly needs any help?’

  ‘Actually, Lorna, if you wouldn’t mind, could I borrow Leo?’ said Kirstie. ‘I’ve got some stuff that needs a bit of manly brawn.’

  Lorna smiled graciously, forbearing to say that Kirstie could borrow Leo as long as she promised to give him back.

  Walking back to where she thought she’d last seen Philly, Lorna wondered if she could ask if Leo might have a room in Burthen House. There was plenty of space, after all. After today, if it went well, she thought she might do just that.

  16

  Kirstie had done a brilliant job with the publicity, Lorna thought. She was by the Italian garden and as the gates were officially opened, people came streaming in. The weather helped, of course, and so probably did the presence of a Turner Prize winner (who, as Jack had said, seemed extremely nice).

  She was there to answer questions about the garden and had a plant list, kindly provided by Philly, who had a stall by the old stables. The artists were all being interviewed by various members of the press because the event had attracted quite a lot of media attention. She hoped to catch up with Jack later.

  ‘So, what can you tell me about the people who live here?’ asked one man.

  ‘Unless you live here?’ added his wife.

  ‘No, I don’t live here,’ said Lorna calmly, suddenly wishi
ng she’d predicted interest in Peter and Kirstie and had a strategy to deal with it. ‘The couple who do have very kindly opened their garden to raise money to help with the abbey-restoration fund.’

  ‘So you don’t know them then?’ The woman was eager for gossip.

  ‘Not really,’ said Lorna, smiling sadly.

  They wandered off.

  Fortunately most of the rest of the people who came were really interested in the garden and the history of the house. Several wanted to know if rooms in it could be hired. Lorna thought she should tell Kirstie about this, in case she and Peter ever wanted to raise money for the house itself. Peter would hate the idea, of course, but they could do it while they were away, if someone else were in charge. It could be a wedding venue, she thought: Kirstie, who organised events as her day job, would thrive on hosting occasions like that. Maybe she wouldn’t mention it, she decided. Kirstie could think of it for herself. She no longer had romantic feelings for Peter but she was still very fond of him. She didn’t want him to be pushed too far out of his comfort zone.

  When Lorna had answered enough questions about how she had created a red and black garden, whether she had borrowed any ideas from the garden at Highgrove (yes) and were the plants available for sale at the plant stall (some of them), she decided to go and see how Philly was getting on.

  Jack intercepted her. ‘Wait!’ he called. He caught up with her a few seconds later. ‘Come,’ he said, ‘let’s go somewhere where we can not talk.’

  Lorna laughed, ridiculously pleased to see him. ‘Aren’t you supposed to take me somewhere where we can talk?’

  He shook his head. ‘I’ve been talking to people all day. I just want to be quiet somewhere, with you.’

  ‘Well, I know a little corner. It’s behind a tree that’s on the path that leads to the summer house. I don’t expect anyone will see us there.’

  They walked in silence and soon were settled in the sunshine. Lorna closed her eyes. Suddenly she realised how tired she was. It was bliss sitting there on the grass, her back supported by a tree, feeling the sun on her face with Jack at her side.

  ‘There you are, Mum!’ said Leo, sounding out of breath and cross. ‘Kirstie needs you.’ He glared at Jack.

  ‘Oh, OK,’ said Lorna, not moving, wondering if she had actually dropped off. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘By the stables. A journalist wants to talk to you.’

  ‘Really?’ Lorna felt exhausted all over again at the prospect. ‘Why?’

  ‘They’re interested in the garden.’ He set off and reluctantly Lorna and Jack got to their feet.

  ‘I am sorry. I can’t think why he’s so rude,’ she said.

  ‘It’s natural. The young stag trying to head off the older one and not managing it.’ Jack smiled at her and Lorna’s heart suddenly beat faster.

  ‘We’d better find the journalists,’ she said.

  ‘Before we do, or while we’re going, there’s something I want to say.’

  ‘I thought you wanted to be silent?’

  ‘I did, but I might not get you on your own again.’ He paused. ‘I’ve been plucking up the courage, debating whether it’s too early in our relationship but I have to go away for a week.’ He paused, looking down at her in a way that made her stomach melt. ‘I was wondering if you could come with me.’

  It took her a few seconds to think of something to say. It was such a huge thing – from being two people who were getting to know each other at a reasonable speed to being a couple who went away together. ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘To France. I need to source some stone. I don’t want to be away from you for so long.’

  Lorna didn’t know how to respond.

  He went on urgently. ‘I know it’s too soon really, but otherwise – well – I won’t see you. It’s tomorrow. Please say you’ll come?’

  Every word of wisdom Lorna had ever heard, in poetry, prose, song or real life, about love and how to handle it, rushed through her head and out again, unheeded. ‘I’d love to.’

  She could think of nothing else all day. After they’d discussed the practicalities of how and when they were going, she talked to the journalists, to other people, to Philly about how well her plants had sold and how delicious the tea and cakes were, and how many people had come and how much money had been raised. But inside she vacillated between euphoria that she and Jack were going to sleep together and horror at her rashness in agreeing to it.

  She only really came to when everyone had gone home and Kirstie had organised a team of teenagers to litter pick. All the other helpers were in the courtyard. There were Peter and Kirstie, obviously very thrilled by how it had all gone, Anthea and, for some reason Lorna couldn’t fathom, Seamus. While she was very fond of Philly’s grandfather, she didn’t know how he’d been dragged into it all. Maybe it was to support Philly, who had produced a stunning plant stall – mostly, she had confided to Lorna, provided by colleagues in the business. Nearly all Philly had produced had gone into the Burthen House garden. Leo was there, and in spite of his slight surliness around Jack, Lorna had been proud of how hard he’d worked. And she wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. She’d seen Kirstie kissing his cheek after she’d thanked him for something.

  Kirstie cleared her throat and got everyone’s attention. ‘Well, I think that was bloody brilliant!’ she declared to murmurs of agreement. ‘And I think we should have a wash-up meeting here. Would ten o’clock tomorrow morning suit?’

  ‘And what, if I may ask, is a “wash-up” meeting?’ asked Anthea haughtily.

  ‘Oh come on, Mother,’ said Peter, sounding tired and therefore irritable. ‘You know perfectly well what it is.’

  ‘Sorry,’ said Kirstie, far more respectful than Peter had been. ‘We’ll discuss how it all went and what we’ll do differently next year.’

  ‘Are we doing it next year?’ said Peter, shocked by the idea.

  ‘I think we should, sweetie. Build on our success?’

  Lorna thought she heard him groan.

  ‘I’m afraid Lorna and I won’t be there,’ said Jack. ‘We’re going to France.’

  ‘Mum?’ said Leo. ‘Really?’ He looked stunned and not at all happy.

  Lorna would have preferred to tell her son in private, along with a lot of reassurance that his mother had not lost her senses, but Jack had taken the matter out of her hands. ‘Yes,’ she said.

  Leo didn’t speak but Kirstie came in quickly. ‘Does it have to be tomorrow? And since when have you been an item?’

  ‘You’re not an item, are you, Mum?’ said Leo.

  Lorna looked at Jack, unable to speak.

  ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Lorna and I are definitely an item. Now if you lot don’t mind I think we should go home. Lorna’s got packing to do.’

  ‘Honestly, Leo, it’s fine. It won’t affect you in any way. I’m still your mum!’ Lorna put another drapey cardigan into her bag. She no longer knew what she’d packed already. As long as she remembered her credit card she could buy anything vital.

  ‘How can you be my mum when you’ve got a – boyfriend?’ Leo was obviously really distressed.

  ‘In the same way you’re still my son when you’ve got a girlfriend. It doesn’t change anything.’

  ‘But it’s natural for me to have a girlfriend. It’s not right that you should have – God, I can hardly say it!’

  ‘Why isn’t it natural for me to have a boyfriend? Peter’s roughly the same age as me, and he’s got Kirstie.’

  ‘Yes, but he’s the man, he’s the older one. You and Jack, it’s—’

  She saw him stop before he could say what he was thinking: that it was ‘disgusting’ for his mother to have a boyfriend who was younger than she was.

  Lorna was torn. She’d been a single mother for so long and sacrificing herself for her son was her default setting. But this was a chance of happiness she’d never dreamt of. And if Jack wasn’t bothered by her being older, why should she be?

  But what about other
people? How would she feel if people she loved and respected – Anthea, Philly, even Peter, for example – despised her?

  She decided she couldn’t allow herself to care. She had to grab this chance of happiness.

  ‘I’m really sorry you can’t be happy for me,’ she said decisively, ‘but I’m still going. If you want to move into my bedroom while I’m away that’s fine. But I suggest you ask Kirstie if she could put you up in the house. I’m sure she’d find a corner. And I don’t think Peter would mind.’

  ‘Are you throwing me out?’ Leo was outraged. ‘Are you throwing me out because you’ve got a toy boy?’

  Lorna almost laughed. ‘Of course not! I just feel this house is rather small for two people.’

  ‘So you won’t be moving Jack in here then?’

  ‘No! But if I do, then you’ll definitely have to move out. And it doesn’t mean I love you any less, so don’t get all hurt and touchy about it.’

  When they eventually went to bed, Lorna was nearly crying with tiredness and frustration. But the more Leo argued that what she was doing was wrong, the more she was determined to do it, and as she finally got into bed and closed her eyes she couldn’t help smiling. All this fuss about a couple who hadn’t even really kissed properly yet.

  In spite of her resolution the night before, in the morning, as she put her stuff into her car and got ready to drive to Jack’s house, she felt herself wavering. Leo, who had been so difficult, had been remorseful over breakfast.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Mum. I really didn’t mean to be so vile. It was just the shock. Of course you’re entitled to a life. I’ll get over it, I really will, it’s just…’

  ‘What?’ Lorna’s slice of toast hovered between her mouth and the plate.

  ‘It’s just he’s a bit younger…’

  She put the toast down, her appetite having departed. ‘I know. It’s a shock for me too. But we get on so well…’

  Leo didn’t answer for a while. ‘I think I don’t want things to change between us. If you hook up with someone – Jack – they will.’