“It’s different with you and Luke. Babe, I realized some shit while I was floating around with the big dogs.”
“Really the big dogs?” She said with an eye roll.
His eyes widened defensively. “You have no idea who I roll with these days…” He wiggled his eyebrows for extra emphasis and she gave into her smile. He paused for a moment, watching her intently. Her smile was the thing he missed the most. “I came into your life all those years ago, to take you away from the pain of your childhood and you came into mine to show me what love was. I was never meant to be the one who you spent your whole life with. I was meant to lead you to the person you would.”
“Don’t say that.” She whispered.
“It’s true… Cara. Luke is that person.” He swallowed and took her hands in his. “Look at me.” He waited and slowly she lifted her head to meet his gaze. “He loves you.” Jake smiled. “Just like I knew he would and when my brother loves, he loves big.” He laughed. “Shit, he’d give you his bone marrow and shit if it came down to it.” He winked at her before he squeezed her hands again. “You love him too.”
Cara swallowed against the lump in her throat as she continued to hold Jake’s gaze. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. He smiled. “It’s okay to love him, Cara.”
She blew out a strangled breath. “How can I love the both of you?” She whispered the question. “I feel like with each piece of me I give to Luke, is one less piece I have of you.”
Jake stared at her for a moment before shaking his head. “I know you’ll always love me. That deep down in your heart there will always be a place carved out for you and me and what we shared.” He paused and watched as she took her lower lip between her teeth to keep it from trembling. “Cara, you need to listen to me. It’s time you realize you can love me but all I am now is a memory. A memory that can come along for the ride of your future, but never be the center of it.” He placed their joined hands over her heart and together they felt her heart beating. “That hearts alive you just need to set it free.”
A lone tear slid down her cheek and she swore she saw his eyes fill with tears too. She slowly raised her other hand and placed it over his chest, over the tattoo that he had of her over his heart, she closed her eyes and waited to feel the beat that matched hers. It never came.
“It doesn’t beat anymore.” He said softly. “Yours does though, and until it doesn’t give it to the man whose heart will beat for you.”
“I’ll always love you, Jake.” Cara said through her sobs of realization.
“I know you will.” He smiled and leaned into her, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I’ll always be with you, watching over you, loving you and I’ll always be happy for the two of you.”
They were silent for a moment before Cara spoke again. “I wonder if the roles were reversed if you’d feel the same way I do. If you would be apprehensive to fall in love and take all those chances again. The same chances you and I took and then to add insult to injury fall in love with my sibling.”
Jake sighed. “I’m not saying what you’re feeling isn’t natural. I’m not saying to forget you and I ever happened. I am just asking you to open your heart and mind to what’s staring you in the face.” He shrugged his shoulders. “It doesn’t make a difference to me that it’s Luke you’re going to be with or some stranger, that’s a lie, I prefer it to be Luke. At least I know he will take care of what he has. I won’t worry so much about you or him for that matter.” He scratched the top of his head before cocking it to the side while he studied her for a moment.
“What?” She said, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, which was ridiculous because this was Jake, the one person she always felt most comfortable with.
“I think it just dawned on me, that, you’ve changed. You never used to question my suggestions, always went right on along with whatever I said.” He said with a crooked smile. ‘My Cara is all grown up.”
“I’m hardly grown up, but maybe I have changed.” She shrugged her shoulders and looked out towards the ocean. “I hurt a lot of people after you died, mainly Luke.”
“You hurt yourself the most.” He said and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, bringing her into the crook of his arm. “I’m sorry we never really had a fair shot.”
“I’ll never regret a single moment of what we had.” She said softly against his chest.
“Me neither.” Jake said before kissing the top of her head. “We were the shit.” He said with a chuckle.
“We completely were.” She smiled before lifting her chin to look at him. “You’re right. There is no promise for tomorrow. I’m so scared of loving again, but I think I’m even more afraid of living without it.”
“Just let it happen, babe. Let the cards fall wherever they may. You worry too much about what people think. I’ve always told you to hell with what everyone else thinks, it’s just you and me… Well now it’s just you. Follow your gut and stop worrying so much.”
She stopped listening after he said it was only her now. The simple words were so final, so true. “You’re really gone.” She whispered.
“Bitch of thing, isn’t it?” He chuckled to himself.
“Thank you.” She whispered, knowing there wasn’t a need to explain to him what she was thanking him for. Jake knew better than anyone, all the reasons Cara was thankful towards him. She would be forever grateful to him for everything he’d ever done for her. He rescued the young girl she once was and he never stopped. Even in death, Jake rescued Cara, only this time from her own conscience. She glanced over at him, studying his angelic profile, before she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his cheek. Letting go was hard, moving forward was scary, but in that moment, all that vanished. For just one moment they were just Jake and Cara again.
“Love you.” She whispered against his skin, closing her eyes, at the simple touch of lips to skin.
“Love you back,” He said softly, staring at the black waves as they crashed along the shore.
Cara’s eyes fluttered open and she instantly sat up startled. There was no sand beneath her only the mattress she had fallen asleep on. She looked out towards the open doors that led to the balcony. The beach, the waves, seeing and feeling Jake, hearing his voice, it had all been a dream, quite possibly a beautiful dream that had set her free.
Chapter Twenty Four
Luke emerged from the cool water, pushing back his hair from his face as the sun kissed his skin. His daughter’s laughter echoed around the pool area of the hotel.
“Ha ha! I got you.” Ava declared as she swam away from her dad, claiming victory over him.
Luke laughed. “That’s only because I let you.” He said with a wink watching as she looped her little body around a foam noodle and floated away from him. He sighed as the hot sun beat down on him giving him somewhat of a headache. Maybe it wasn’t the heat that was getting to him and just his lack of sleep. He spent most of the night mulling over his argument with Cara. Be patient, his brother said in his letter. So much for that, he really screwed things up with her by forcing her to feel what took him months to come to terms with. While Cara was busy fighting her addiction, Luke was otherwise occupied fighting his feelings towards her. He didn’t have much success in his efforts because he was hopelessly in love with her before she even kissed him. What a way to go down, he said to himself with a firm shake of his head.
She may portray herself to be this pillar of strength lately, but beneath the surface, she was still Cara, struggling to grasp control of her life. He had no business putting pressure on her, no business at all. She gave herself to him and he gave her an ultimatum in return. He sucked at relationships, that’s probably why he steered clear of them. The one relationship of significance he had, went down the tubes. He had pressed Marie, when they found out she was pregnant. He had tried to do the right thing, by society’s standards, offered to marry her and make them a legit family. Marie hightailed it out of his and Ava’s life the first chance
she got. You think he would’ve learned his lesson and not put pressure a woman. He had seven long years of being a single father to show for how, well, forcing someone to think and feel the same as he did worked in the long run.
He didn’t want to lose Cara too. He needed to apologize and tell her that he had it all wrong. He’d step back. They’d take their relationship one day at a time. He could do light and easy. He could give her casual. He could reel himself in for as long as it took for her to get on the same page.
He turned his head and caught a glimpse of her. He groaned as he leaned against the wall of the pool. She was a sight in a bikini, a fucking delicious sight that made him want to forget the pep talk, he just had with himself, and bend her over one of the lounge chairs. Her ass pitched high as he buried himself into her tight pussy. Yeah, casual should work just fine. He couldn’t hide his eyes if he tried, and cursed himself for not having his sunglasses on. Her firm tits bounced with each stride she took. He turned his head, forcing himself to focus on anything other than her.
Ava climbed out of the pool and hurried over to Cara. “Cara, watch me do a cannonball!” She said enthusiastically as she pulled her goggles over her eyes to complete her stunt. She jumped into the water splashing everyone in the same vicinity.
Cara chuckled as she took a seat on the edge of the pool, dipping her legs into the water.
Ava swam over to her.
“Did you see?”
“Great job!” Cara said with a smile, lifting her sunglasses to rest on the top of her head. “Have you been practicing?”
“In between dunking Daddy, I try.” She said with a giggle.
Cara’s eyes shifted towards Luke and she offered him a small smile. “Poor, dad.” She said softly.
“He’s used to it by now.” Ava said before her eyes widened. “The slide’s open. Can I go down Dad?”
“Sure, just stay where I can see you.” He said, but before he could finish his sentence she had already taken off to where the other kids were taking turns down the spiraling water slide.
“She seems to be having fun.” Cara said, turning to face Luke. He nodded in response causing her to gnaw on her lower lip nervously, an awkward silence engulfing them as they fought to find their words. Cara piped up first. “Luke... can we talk?”
Luke pushed himself off of the wall of the pool and padded over to her, stopping to stand just in front of her legs that dangled in the water. He wanted to spread them apart and make his way between them, to feel her wrap around him. Yeah, he wanted it almost as much as he wanted his next breath. His eyes met hers and he swallowed the lump in his throat that seemed to form every time his eyes latched onto hers. She opened her mouth to speak, but he quickly lifted his finger to her lips, silencing her.
“Don’t.” He said gruffly. “I should’ve come to you last night to clear the air between us.”
She wrapped her hand around his wrist and took his hand in hers. “I’m sorry for the way I acted in front of your parents.”
“Cara, hear me out, okay?” He said as he placed his free hand on her knee and let out a strangled breath. “I was out of line. I shouldn’t have demanded anything from you, much less demand you feel and act a certain way.” He mustered up enough strength to put up his bravado. “We’re not there yet and that’s okay. I’m okay with us going back to the way things were. We can just, you know keep it casual.” He forced a crooked smile and shrugged his shoulders. “We’ll always have Mexico.”
“Wait a minute.” She pulled her hand back from his and studied his masked face, confusion in her own expression. “Are you ending things between us?”
“How can I end something that never really began? I’m just saying I don’t want to be that guy that forces you to make a decision you’re not ready to make. We were in a good place before the wedding no?” He cocked his head to the side, staring at her, trying desperately to read the confused look that she wore. “I mean we were good getting to know one another, spending time together. There were no conditions or guidelines we just went with the flow. You were at ease with me, weren’t you?”
“Of course I was.” She shook her head, not quite understanding where this change of heart was coming from. She tried to push back the thoughts in her head that taunted her, telling her she ruined whatever there was between the two of them. “I still am comfortable with you. I just… I freaked out. I don’t regret the other night Luke, that’s not what this is about.”
“I don’t regret it either.” He said sincerely.
She swallowed hard as she peered into his eyes, the dark pools giving nothing away. “Why do I feel like everything is different right now?” She asked fearing the answer.
“Cara, I told you to take time to sort your head. Have you done that? Have you got everything sorted out?” He asked softly.
She swallowed and looked away from him. This morning she awoke, ready to put her past in the past. She was ready to take those first steps, no matter how scary they were, and take them towards her future with Luke. Now here they were, face to face, and the one thing she hadn’t prepared for, was Luke’s retreat backwards. She forced a smile.
“I guess you’ve sorted everything out for the both of us. What a relief.” She wiped her brow to emphasize her point. “It’s all good and here I was nervous things were going to be awkward between us. But you swept right in and saved the day.”
Luke watched her ramble on nervously. Something in the pit of his gut told him she was anything but relieved.
“Everything is normal then? Still friends?” She asked dejected with the fact that she had the single most passionate night of her life and now what? She was supposed to look at Luke and pretend it never happened, pretend that she didn’t want to re-enact that single night every night of her life?
“We’re a little more than friends, Spunky.” He said with a grin as he placed his hands on her knees and spread her legs, stepping between them, like he wanted to do from the moment she sat on the edge of the pool. “I’m not giving you up completely.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and watched as she leaned forward, an act of instinct, he actually debated not dunking her and thought about going in for the kiss instead but reminded himself of the casual label he had just tacked onto their relationship. He tugged her into the water and dunked her.
* * * * *
Deb and Joe made their way towards the pool, grabbing some towels for their lounge chairs.
“I wonder where they are.” Deb said as she peered over her sunglasses trying to locate her son and granddaughter.
Joe raised an eyebrow when he heard Cara shriek, turning his head towards the pool, he watched her head go under and Luke laugh. Joe nudged his wife with his elbow and nodded towards the pool. “There you go.”
Deb turned around and watched as Cara popped up from the water, twisting her long locks behind her and gathering her wet hair into a messy ponytail. Luke grinned widely at her as she sulked miserably.
“They’re quite the pair.” Joe said nonchalantly into his wife's ear.
“They’re just fooling around.” Deb said with a smile. “It’s nice to see them both have some fun.”
“Woman are you blind?” Joe asked incredulously, shaking his head, it was clear as day their son was in love with Cara. How his wife didn’t see that was beyond him, leaving him to think maybe she was choosing not to see what was right in front of her.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Deb asked as she claimed a lounge chair, placing her towel over the cushion.
Joe threw his newspaper on the chair beside her and pointed over to Luke and Cara. “That right there isn’t two friends playing around, that is two people who love each other.”
“Joe, maybe we should find a spot in the shade for you. Clearly, the sun is getting to you.” She said with a frown. The last thing they needed was Joe to suffer from heat stroke.
“I’m outside for five minutes, Debra.” Joe said, sitting down on the lounge chair beside the one she had already c
laimed. Deb turned around completely, at the sound of her full name and looked at her husband. “Sit down, dear.” He said, nodding towards the lounge chair.
She took a deep breath, unprepared for whatever it was her husband was about to tell her. There were very few times he had taken the initiative when it came to discussing their children. She sat down slowly and met his gaze.
“I know you’ve seen the way the two of them are whenever they are together. I know you’re aware of the way they look at one another. Hell, if I can see it, Stevie Wonder can.”
Deb looked towards the pool, watching as Cara threw her body over Luke and forced him under the water. “Yes.” She said cautiously.
“Our boy loves that woman, just as hard as our other one did, if not more.” He said softly, reaching for her hand.
“Don’t say that. Jake loved Cara with everything he had. It’s not his fault he couldn’t be here to keep her love.” Her voice was rich with emotion even to her own ears.
“It’s no one’s fault. God called him home and there wasn’t a damn thing any of us could do.” Joe looked down at his loafers, blowing out an exasperated breath as he did so. “Every single one of us still wishes he was here, Deb. We lost our son and that void will never be filled, but Luke and Sam, they lost a sibling. They lost one third of the bond they shared. And, well, Cara, she lost her best friend and her first love.”
Deb brushed away the tears that fell as a result of her husband’s words.
“You and I know better than anyone, you can’t control who you fall in love with. It wasn’t that long ago you and I were in Luke and Cara’s shoes.”
“Thirty-seven years ago is a long time.” She said softly.
“It seems like it was just yesterday.” He said with a wink, before he took both his wife’s hands in his and squeezed softly. She looked at him. She looked into the aging eyes of the man she loved and allowed herself to remember when those eyes were just a bit younger, the young eyes of the man who picked up the fallen pieces of her life all those years ago.
Fitting The Pieces (The Riverdale Series Book 3) Page 29