Kindling

by Agnes H Hagadus

  The cowgirl slowly came to a stop. They were not far from the stables now. “That’s right. Someone who her peers referred to her as Android. If not for her puppy, niece and nephew, she would have been all alone.”

  Azure eyes closed. While part of her didn’t want to know what had happened, she knew there was a moral here. So why ask when she wanted to remain in her own world? “What happened to this woman?”

  “I married her.” Azure eyes grew wide. “But, in all honesty, I would have been happy if we had remained friends. It would have been difficult as I was, and still am, attracted to her. It all started with friendship. And will always be friendship.”

  A heavy sigh escaped Geraldine. “You do realize why I’m so scared, don’t you?” She was nervous beyond words of the answer. Would she be rejected? Or would she be accepted?

  “If you mean it’s because you are a cowgirl, yes.” Geraldine cringed. She wasn’t certain if Candy was serious or not. “Look, I know enough to know you are a true woman. And anyone else who can’t accept that has issues with themselves.”

  Geraldine was relieved at the way Candy had answered her. Yet, it didn’t change anything. Just because two people at the bed and breakfast accepted her didn’t mean that the woman who had captured her attention would do the same.

  So what was a woman to do? Geraldine slowly made her way toward the stables. She was to take a chance. Who knew what lay ahead. If only friendship, the cowgirl would be richer than she had ever been.

  Chapter 5

  It was late. Jessie was a little concerned when their six boarders hadn’t shown up for dinner. They were adults and didn’t have to, but the protector in her was worried. It gave herself, Thelma, Kathy and Candy time to themselves.

  Jessie stretched in her chair. One of their two chefs, a former Navy cook, had outdone himself. She was grateful for someone else to cook as she had lived on pizza and lunchmeat sandwiches before marrying Thelma.

  “So, what did you want to talk to us about?” As always, Thelma was the direct one of the two. She was leaning towards her wife. They spent too much time apart. Yet, they slept in the same bed, each and every night.

  Kathy stretched. It was comical how she nearly mirrored Jessie. Or was it the other way around. “I’m thinking of making a change.” There was silence. “It’s not something that is life altering. We’ll still live in Albany.”

  “Ok. I give.” Jessie arose. She hated to leave her wife. Thelma nodded to the unasked question. “Would you two like coffee or something else?” Neither Kathy or Candy were drinkers.

  “I’ll have apple juice, if you have it.” Jessie nodded at her best friend’s choice. It was something she would drink, after having one of her parties. When she had drank so much she needed to recover. That was before Thelma. So much was before Thelma.

  “Might as well join my wife.” Candy wanted to discuss her wife’s plans. But she also wanted to speak of the potential for trouble. She hoped she was reading Allison right, that she was a good person who would accept Geraldine.

  It wasn’t long before each had their chosen beverage. Instead of remaining in the dining room, they were sitting on the back porch. The breeze was perfect and the view of the setting sun just over the tops of the trees…

  “I’m still learning all I need to do, but I’ve decided to become a fire inspector.” Kathy, as usual, came directly to the point.

  Jessie was the one who reacted. She knew what being a firefighter had meant to her best friend. What it meant to Jessie. Saving people had been what meant the most to Kathy. But it would never make up for the one life she would never forgive herself for, even with the love of a good woman.

  “I know you would prefer active duty, but you were an awesome teacher.” Jessie took a sip of her beer. “And I don’t just mean about what it takes to be a firefighter. If not for you, Thelma and I would never have taken a chance on one another.”

  “I think soulmates will find one another, no matter what. We just helped one another along.” Candy sipped her apple juice. This was her wife’s show. Yet the romantic in her had to reiterate what she wrote in her books.

  Kathy smirked before her face returned to the normally emotionless one. She was better than she used to be at allowing her emotions to show, but often fell back on her comfort zone. “I was a decent teacher, with Candy’s help. But I want to help prevent fires. I want to find out if people intentionally harm others. I just feel it’s what I’m meant to do.”

  “I can understand that.” Jessie leaned back against the railing. “While I’m enjoying running the bed and breakfast, especially the horses, I really want to help people. Making a love connection could be one way to help.”

  “Speaking of love connections, I think one is already in the making.” Candy took another sip of her juice. She missed her café. The beverages there were the best in Albany, if she did say so herself. “I think Allison and Geraldine have sparkage.”

  “Sparkage?” Thelma couldn’t help laughing. “Only you would refer to it that way.” Thelma sobered as she recognized the look in mirror emerald eyes. “Do you think there’s an issue with the two starting something, other than the distance?”

  “I ran into Geraldine, literally, earlier. I don’t know exactly what happened.” Candy swallowed. Even with all she had drank, her throat remained dry. “I think there was a connection. I think there was flirting.”

  Candy leaned her head back. “I think the poor thing is terrified. I knew right away that Miss Geraldine was still transitioning. It took a moment to explain to Kathy, but it’s just because it’s not open in The South.”

  Kathy cleared her throat. She was how old, yet, at times, felt like she was a child. It was the price of being emotionally stunted as a youth. The fact her mother refused to seek the professional help she had needed…

  “I noticed when I was putting her into the system.” Jessie remembered the encounter. “I think Candy is right. Geraldine nearly passed out because she was terrified of what I’d say because her ID still says Gerald.”

  Thelma was angry. Angry they were living in times when someone feared for who they were born to be. In her case, she was a lesbian. The thing she had going for her was she was white. But being female and gay was like an eight ball in most places it seemed.

  “I don’t know what to say or do.” Thelma sighed heavily. “I want to take her in my arms and tell her everything will be all right. That we’ll be there for her, even after she leaves the bed and breakfast.

  “Perhaps I can be of assistance.” No one had heard the boards creaking they were so in thought about how they could help Geraldine and Allison. “After all, I do know a thing or two about transitioning. And I do know a thing or two about making a love connection.” Jackeline was beaming.

  Jessie immediately was on her feet. She couldn’t help hugging her friend. When she had met Jackeline at church, she had yet to come out to anyone. When she had, the church had forbidden her from attending. “If you can get me through my adolescence, you can help anyone.”

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  Dallas couldn’t believe she had spent the entire day with Lucy. The young woman was so easy to talk to. There was something about her that the truckdriver couldn’t put into words. The sun was already setting. She couldn’t allow this day to end.

  “I know I’ve monopolized your time today, but I thought of one more place we could head. It’s an LGBTQI friendly bar. It has decent food.” Dallas didn’t want to push. Yet, she wanted to spend more time with Lucy.

  At first, Lucy hesitated. It wasn’t the amount of time they had spent together. Seeing some of the sights Albany had to offer was one thing. Yes, there were people. But it wasn’t huge crowds.

  It wasn’t intimate crowds. A bar, even LGBTQI friendly, wasn’t a place Lucy was comfortable in. If she wasn’t spending time with her mother, she would have a meal with her one lone friend from high school.

  Lucy never allowed for herself to become that close with an
y of her employees. Even though she treated them better than most companies, it was still retail. Most hated working in retail. Most she employed were either working their way through school or it was a second source of income. Very few was it their foremost source of income.

  The only consistency that Lucy had in her life, outside of her business, was her mother. This vacation had been something she had dreamed of. Yet, she remained nervous of being in the public too long.

  “I am hungry.” Lucy’s voice squeaked a little. It happened when she was nervous or uncertain. There was something in Dallas’ eyes. “Wherever you want to go is fine with me.” She knew her voice wasn’t all that convincing.

  Dallas knew the tone. Either this woman had been abused and would give into anything or she lacked self-confidence. She’d witnessed it at the cemetery, but it was even graver now.

  Without even thinking, Dallas pulled into the next place of business. It just happened to be a fast food place. “Look at me.” Lucy avoided looking into Dallas’ eyes for the longest of moments. “Please.”

  Lucy managed, if only briefly, to look Dallas in the eyes. “We may only know one another while we both are staying here, but I don’t play like that. Whether it’s a friendship or something more, I only do partnerships.”

  “Can we get something to go? And can we not go back to the bed and breakfast, at least not yet.” Lucy appreciated Dallas’ words, but she needed to tell the slightly older woman a few things about herself. Even if they never saw one another again.

  “You got it. Just let me know what you want.” After receiving Lucy’s order, Dallas winked. “You can pay me your share when I return.” Dallas was grateful when Lucy’s expression was actually one of disbelief.

  It wasn’t long before Dallas had them at an overlook. There were porta pottys, but no other facilities. It wasn’t actually directly on the way back to Albany. But then, the truckdriver knew of many out of the way places.

  The sun was sinking, which meant the gnats were also hibernating. At least it wasn’t mosquitoes like one would find in Michigan at the same time of year. It meant they could sit on the hood of the small car Lucy owned.

  “Sometimes I hate myself.” Before Dallas could respond, Lucy hastily continued. “While I own my own grocery store and am ok when in my own element, I don’t like huge crowds. I don’t like small spaces.”

  Lucy took a sip of her pop before continuing. “I’ve also not had many relationships, romantic or otherwise. It’s mainly been me and my mother for the longest of times. It’s not that I don’t believe I deserve it, something holds me back.”

  Dallas waited to see if Lucy would say anything more. Most of what Lucy had said rang true. Having traveled from one side of the country to the other, she had witnessed all types of personalities. Sadly, there were too many out there like Lucy.

  The young woman was amazing. She was beautiful, inside and out. But there was something that made Lucy think she didn’t deserved happiness. She was going through the motions. Living day to day.

  This vacation was the bravest thing Lucy had ever done. The thing was…Did she even realize how brave she was? It would take time to truly get to know the real Lucy. While they were only on vacation so long, Dallas was in control of where she operated out of. Perhaps a change was in store for the near future.

  When Lucy didn’t say anything further, Dallas knew it was up to her to say something. “Little Lady, I have to say something. You’ve had an isolated life. You fear things. And rightfully so.”

  Dallas inched a little closer to Lucy. “I think a part of me loves the open road because it is just me. I have some friends I visit in various stops. But no one I’d say I was particularly close to.”

  Lucy’s first instincts were to move away. But there was something about Dallas. She wasn’t certain what it was. She knew she was older, but not by how many years. In her heart, she knew what Dallas was attempting to say.

  “I think I understand what you are saying.” Lucy picked at her burger. She had been so hungry when they had ordered it. But the ensuing conversation had her stomach in turmoil. “I just don’t know if I can trust enough. In other words, I don’t know if you should bother with me.”

  “Ok. I’ve tried to do this in the kindest of ways. I remember your story of how you were so poorly treated.” Dallas cautiously slid from the hood of the car. She’d lost her appetite. “So I wanted to make you see the better side of humans.”

  “I wanted you to know that not all people judge. Not everyone wants something from you.” Dallas gathered her trash. She roughly shoved it in the bin a few yards away. “I saw a person who is beautiful on the outside. I decided I wanted to get to know them better. Yes, I am a lesbian and attracted to women. But it could have been a friendship, if you wanted it.”

  Lucy swallowed hard. It was in an attempt to keep the bile from rising any further. It was as if Dallas was breaking up with her. She’d been lucky not to have had to suffer through only a handful. And they were her choice.

  Cautiously, Lucy extricated herself from the hood of the car. She silently gathered her trash. Slowly, she made her way to the same bin Dallas had used and remained standing near. She brushed the older woman before depositing her trash.

  Lucy remained standing with her back to Dallas. Her mother wouldn’t be proud of her. At least she wouldn’t be proud of how she was reacting to her first offer of friendship. As if knowing something was wrong, a sound alerting her to a text from her mother cut through the awkward silence.

  It could be the excuse Lucy needed. She took a deep breath and finally faced Dallas. “I’d like a friend. But I don’t want a part-time friend. I know you have your life and I have mine. What happens when our time here is over?”

  “Is that what you are worried about?” Dallas had never met anyone like Lucy. One minute, she was as confident as they come. The next, she was terrified. The contrast intrigued the truckdriver.

  “I don’t know what I’m worried about.” Lucy was tired. It was nearly ten. Not that late, but she was exhausted. Emotions, or one’s fear of them, can be tiresome. “I’ve lived in a bubble my entire life.”

  Dallas sighed. She didn’t want to burst the young woman’s bubble. So what was she to do? “Why don’t we head back to the bed and breakfast. We can have something cool to drink or you can head directly to bed. Tomorrow is a promise to no one.”

  Lucy’s head was throbbing. Partly it was left over from her encounter the night before. Mostly, it was because of her not being able to make a simple decision. Or was it take a chance? “I think I’m ready for bed.”

  A decision made. Was it the right one? Lucy didn’t say anything. Instead, she made her way to her car. It was still unusual to enter via the passenger side. After everything, she still trusted Dallas for some unknown reason.

  As they navigated the unknown streets, Lucy retrieved her cellphone. Her mother had a simple message for her. Have a good time and be safe. Lucy replied she wasn’t certain she was having a good time.

  Barely having sent the text, Lucy’s cellphone began ringing. She ignored it, figuring it was her mother. Even though it rang two more times, Lucy refused to answer. She sent a text she’d call when she could.

  It was a quiet ride back to the bed and breakfast. Lucy barely waited for Dallas to return her keys before she was bolting towards the entrance. She made a dash for her room, not even stopping when Melissa called her name.

  It wasn’t until she was behind closed doors that Lucy felt safe. What was happening to her? Remembering her promise, Lucy phoned her mother. The conversation went as she figured it would.

  Her mother attempted to convince her that she deserved this vacation. That life wasn’t about only work. That she needed to take a chance. Broken hearts can mend. But loneliness was the worst sensation in the world.

  Lucy deflected as much as she could. Her mother wouldn’t allow her to be negative. Finally, she had to tell her mother she was exhausted from her day of exploration. It
was only half true.

  Instead of readying for bed, Lucy made her way to the window. She was in perfect position to see the gazebo. It didn’t surprise her to see Dallas outside. The truckdriver seemed to have an abundance of energy.

  As Lucy watched Dallas, a shadowy figure made its way from the side of the bed and breakfast. It wasn’t one of the boarders Lucy had met. It could be a new arrival. Did it matter who it was?

  As the woman wrapped her arms around Dallas from behind, Lucy turned away. She couldn’t watch. Instead, she threw herself on the bed. Tears burned her skin as they escaped her eyes.

  As Lucy lay there, she realized she smelled like Dallas. The woman wore a light perfume. It wasn’t one Lucy was familiar with. Angrily, Lucy tore her clothes from her body. She was grateful the bed and breakfast offered laundry service. The articles of clothing would be disinfected.

  Now to disinfect herself. Lucy didn’t hesitate in standing under nearly scalding water. She scrubbed her skin. Why was this affecting her so? After all, she’d only know Dallas for a day. It wasn’t even like they’d been friends.

  Had Lucy continued to watch, she would have seen Dallas roughly reject the woman. It hadn’t surprised Dallas that Dina had followed her. Now she had to make certain, once and for all, that Dina knew the meaning of the word no. One way or another.

  ()()()()()()()()()()()()()

  Geraldine had made certain she mentally marked the trail they were taking. She would make a suggestion that, if the owners wanted a riding program, the trails needed to be better marked. Not everyone can navigate by the stars like the cowgirl.

  It was a good thing. Geraldine had given in, after her brief conversation with Candy, and saddled two horses. When she had returned, Allison had already begun walking, not that Geraldine could blame her.

  The cowgirl had had to explain she was nervous about teaching someone how to ride. That she was accustomed to breaking horses and not teaching how to ride. It wasn’t exactly true, but it wasn’t a lie, either.