PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans

by Joseph, Fabiola;L. Ramsey, Matthew

  “Blaze, you know work is work, but for play and pleasure, umm it’s not like that between us. I’d feel like I was cheating on Tyree.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now? Krave we’ve fucked at least three times before, and we were supposed to get it in today so what’s the problem?”

  “We were supposed to work today. It looks like the scene is postponed, so we will have to do this some other time. I’ll be looking forward to it, but what I wanted to ask you …”

  He kissed me again before I could finish asking him for some trees. I could feel his dick rubbing up against my leg. His lips were cool and wet so his kisses were starting to make me aroused. I had to push him off of me again.

  “Like I said…”

  He cut me off again.

  “I know, I know, work. It’s always work with you. Fuck it we’ll work then.”

  He took his book bag off, unzipped it, and pulled out a big wad of cash. I could see inside his bag, there were different size baggies full of weed. He started counting out loud, and stopped when he got to fifteen hundred, and then he slipped fifteen one hundred dollar bills in my right pocket.

  “There’s our pay for today. So there you go, were working now. And if it makes you feel any better Tyree doesn’t have to know about this. Trust me I don’t even talk to him like that.”

  I couldn’t believe Blaze wanted to pay me for sex, but what shocked me the most was that he only made fifteen hundred per scene. I knew he was new to the industry, but damn Breeze fucked him over on his contract. I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him, and I wasn’t going to tell him how much I made per scene either. However, for some strange reason I thought about Tyree fucking Domingo. That was that moment I knew I was accepting Blaze’s offer. Tyree would’ve taken the deal in a heartbeat. I kept the money and then said, “I wanted you to come in here because I needed to get some more trees. I didn’t come in here for sex, but fuck it can I have an ounce too?”

  He grabbed one of the bigger baggies out of his book bag, and put it in my other pocket.

  “There you go. So what’s up?”

  Damn that was easy. I guess if you don’t ask you’ll never know said the pimp to the hoe.

  “Get undressed, and get on your knees.”

  Blaze did as he was told. He wanted me so bad that it only took him three seconds to come out of his clothes. Then, he got on his knees, and instantly started to unbutton my jeans. After he unzipped them, he pulled them along with my boxers down to my ankles. He started sucking my dick like it was a drug, and he needed another dose. I still felt high from smoking with the girls so it felt really good too. It didn’t take long before I was fucking his throat just the way he likes it. It felt like I was fucking a tight wet ass, that’s how good he was with his. That dude was a pro. If sucking dick was a sport, he’d be the MVP every season, and he’d always win first place. We 69ed on the bench for a while, he was lying on his back, and I was on top. After we got each other’s dicks wet and rock hard I was ready to fuck. I grabbed the Trojan condom he put on the bench, and strapped up. I sat down and got comfortable so he could ride my dick. I didn’t even have to tell him what to do. He straddled me and slid down on my dick slow and steady until all nine inches was inside of him. He sat there for a moment as he loudly moaned out in pleasure. He pushed my back down so it was touching the bench. Then, he started bouncing on my dick like he was a horse jockey. My dick must’ve been his Black Beauty because he was taking charge and controlling my dick with every bounce. All I could do was put my hands on his waist, and enjoy the ride. We stayed in that position until he almost made me cum. I was able to hold back, so I told him to watch out so I could stand up. I bent him over the bench because it was my turn to show him what I could do. I slid my dick in him fast and hard because I wanted to hear him holler. Which he did, and it turned me on even more. I started to bang his back out. He was moaning loud, so loud that anyone walking pass the locker room could’ve heard him. I didn’t care because he had me hot and horny, so I wasn’t stopping until I was done. I came so hard that I was moaning louder than Blaze was. After we finished we both rinsed off in the showers. I got dressed then went back outside to see what the girls were doing, and to roll a blunt. Jasmine was in her car talking on her cell phone, while DeeDee was smoking a cigarette.

  “Why are you smiling, and looking happy all of a sudden?” DeeDee asked.

  “Cuz I got an ounce off of Blaze, so I’m about to roll up a fat ass blunt. Do you want to join me? You break, I’ll roll.”

  “Sure, why not?”

  DeeDee took a couple more drags off her cigarette and then joined me in my truck. She started breaking up while I was getting the blunt ready. As I was lighting up I asked her what was wrong, because she seemed too quiet, and calm about everything.

  “I’m just blown. Ebony and I were supposed to hang out at the beach today, but it looks like my day will be wasted hanging around here.”

  “At least were getting high, right?”

  “True, but I don’t think that’s all “we’ve” been getting.” She said with a sly smirk on her face.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked because I knew she wasn’t talking about what I thought she was talking about.

  “Don’t play dumb Krave. I went inside to see what you were doing, but I couldn’t find you. I looked everywhere except the men’s locker room. Do you wanna know why?” She was talking about it.

  “Why?” I asked just for the hell of it.

  “Cuz I heard Blaze moaning out in ecstasy. I knew what was up, so I went back outside with Jazzy.”

  “Whatever DeeDee, you’re tripping.”

  “Oh, I’m tripping, huh? Well, I know I heard Blaze moaning, and you said you got an ounce off him, and then you walked outside smiling from ear to ear with a hard ass dick. Boy, I’m a lot...well a little older than you so don’t tell me I’m tripping. I know you fucked Blaze, but don’t worry it’s none of my business so I’m not going to tell anybody.”

  She was right. I was hard as I walked outside. I was feeling good, and thinking about what just happened. I wasn’t going to confirm what DeeDee already knew, so I changed the subject, and flipped it on her.

  “So what’s up with you and Ebony? Why are you always taking her out, and buying her stuff?” I asked as I grabbed the blunt from her. She kept the smoke inside her lungs a little longer than she normally does. I guess she was thinking about how she was going to answer my questions. She finally let all of the smoke out through her nose before replying.

  “Oh, Ebony, that’s my girl. We’ve just been chilling lately. She doesn’t really have any money so I’ve just been treating her until she gets back on her feet. She’s funny, wild like me, and we always have fun together.”

  “That’s all? You’re not trying to fuck her?”

  “Okay, Jamar, now you’re the one who’s tripping,” She called me out, and told me she knew what I did with Blaze, so I returned the favor and let her know what I thought she was trying to do with Ebony exactly how she talked to me.

  “Oh, I’m tripping, huh? Well, I know I trust my eyes, and I see the way you look at Ebony, especially when you get all touchy feely with her. I saw you staring hard at her ass when we were at the pool last week. If I was you I wouldn’t waste my time though. Ebony is straight…I think.”

  DeeDee sucked her teeth, looked at me in the eyes, and then said, “Let me worry about that.”

  I wasn’t hundred percent sure if DeeDee wanted to sleep with Ebony. I was just guessing, but she confirmed it. Right as I was about to respond Jasmine got in the truck, and sat in the back passenger seat. I looked at DeeDee who was still staring at me, and then both of us started to laugh.

  “What’s so funny? What did I miss?” Jasmine asked.

  “Nothing, DeeDee thinks she can turn Ebony out,” I replied as I handed Jasmine the blunt.

  “I saw that coming. I’ve been waiting to see how that was going to play out myself.” Jasmine said as s
he was trying hard not to laugh.

  I started laughing as DeeDee asked, “You knew too?”

  “Girl, I’m straight and I don’t know any lesbians besides the ones that work here, but it’s obvious that you’re into her. I can read people really well, so I picked up on that the first time we all hung out.”

  “Wow, do you think Ebony knows too?” DeeDee asked.

  “I don’t know,” Jasmine replied.

  “I think she knows you’re feeling her, but she’s enjoying the gifts and free stuff. She’s probably thinking as long as you don’t cross the line she’s cool with it.” I replied.

  We all got quiet as DeeDee was hitting the blunt. After she took a couple of hits, she passed it to me.

  “So, Miss Jasmine, who were you talking to? I saw you in the car smiling, and blushing. Was it someone special?”

  “Damn, you’re nosey DeeDee,” Jasmine replied.

  “I know, right,” I had to throw my two cents in on that one.

  “You damn right, I am. Fuck, you all up in my business worrying about what I’m trying to do. Let’s just tell it all, so to catch you up, Jazzy, Krave fucked Blaze in the men’s locker room right before we got in here to smoke. So now, it’s your turn. Who were you talking to, Miss Thang?”

  “I thought you said you weren’t going to say anything?” I asked.

  “That’s what I said, but guess what? I changed my mind once you brought up Ebony. What’s the big deal anyway, you fucked him. Who cares?” DeeDee replied so nonchalantly.

  “You had to do a scene with Blaze, right? They let you shoot the scene before the meeting? I thought production was on hold?” Jasmine asked.

  “It is on hold. Their shoot was canceled, but he fucked him for fun anyway,” DeeDee announced.

  “For real, Jamar?” Jasmine asked slowly as if she couldn’t believe it.

  I was kind of pissed at DeeDee for telling Jasmine, but at the same time I thought it was fair since I told her business. I just shook my head up and down to confirm that it was true.

  “Wow, Jamar, I hope it was worth it. Just don’t let Tyree find out, you little cheater. Pass me the blunt,” Jasmine said as she reached up front for it.

  “I didn’t cheat. I was supposed to fuck him anyway, and I’ve fucked him before so I’m not a cheater.”

  “Technically you did cheat Jamar. Come on think about it, what if you caught Tyree fucking somebody off set?”

  “I’d be pissed.”

  “Okay, there you go, point proven,” Jasmine said.

  “Well, if you want to be all technical and shit I did get paid for it.”

  The girls didn’t believe me so I showed them what Blaze gave me. We all started laughing, and then DeeDee stopped, looked at me, smirked, and then said, “You little pimp. You got mofos wanting to pay you even when you’re not in front of the camera. It must be nice. Go you!”

  As I was about to respond Tyree got in the back of the truck with Jasmine. None of us even noticed that he had pulled up and parked.

  “Hey Sexy,” was what I heard Tyree say as he closed the door.

  “Hey!” Jasmine and I both replied in unison since I thought he was talking to me, but I felt stupid once I looked in the rearview mirror and saw that he was talking, and looking at her. She looked very uncomfortable. He leaned up in the front so he could give me a kiss. It felt passionate, but I couldn’t enjoy it. I felt guilty knowing that I had just finishing giving Blaze head, and now Tyree had his tongue all in my mouth.

  “So why’s everyone still here, and waiting around? It took me longer to get back than I expected. I knew for sure that the meeting would’ve been over by now,” Tyree said.

  “We’re waiting for Breeze to get here,” DeeDee replied.

  “Speaking of the Devil, he just parked,” Jazzy said as she got out the truck to greet him.

  “Breeze is finally here so this meeting should be getting ready to start. I’m going to get a seat upfront in case I have some questions. I’ll see you two inside.”

  DeeDee got out of the truck, so Tyree climbed up in the front with me.

  “So did you miss me?” he asked

  “You know I did.”

  “I missed you too. I was lonely because I didn’t have anyone to smoke with, and I didn’t have anyone to hold at night.”

  “If you missed me that much, you would’ve called me.”

  “Damn, you’re on that shit again? I’ve already apologized once, but I’m sorry all right?” Tyree asked as if I was making him frustrated.

  “You’re right, my bad. So anyway tell me about this new company. Did you tell them about me? Did you let them know we’re a package deal?”

  “I tried, but they said they can only afford to hire one of us right now.”

  “Well, at least you tried, right? I’ll just go with you anyway so neither one of us is lonely when you’re in Santa Barbara.”

  “We will work it out, but we better get inside. Breeze is probably about to start the meeting.”

  We walked back inside, but this time no one was in the lobby. Everyone was standing around in the warehouse. Breeze was in his father’s office getting yelled at by Mr. Cappello. We walked over to where the girls were standing, and stood by them. As I looked around, I noticed Blaze staring at me smirking, and smiling. I started to feel hot and uncomfortable so I stopped looking at him, and just waited like everyone else. A few minutes later Breeze came out of his father’s office, slamming the door behind him.

  “EVERYONE COME CLOSER TOGETHER. I WANT EVERYONE TO HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. I’M NOT GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF,” Breeze yelled.

  Everyone started to move closer filling in the empty gaps in-between Breeze and us.

  “I know everyone is wondering why I called this meeting, and why everyone needs to be tested today. There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it. At least one performer who works for Fantasy Pictures has tested positive for HIV. This performer will remain nameless unless he or she decides to talk about it. Just because you don’t see someone here today does not mean he or she has HIV some performers were out of state and couldn’t be here today. Those performers will be contacted, and have to be tested as well. The performer who unfortunately caught the disease has worked with many porn studios, and in one way or another has slept with all of you, so we’re taking this very seriously. There’s no telling if the disease has spread throughout the company. I just found out from my father that Sticky Studios was just shut down completely. More than half of the performers were HIV positive and the owner of company knew, but he still allowed some of them to film scenes that included unprotected sex. The performer here most likely caught it from working with that studio. Production is shut down until everyone gets their test results back. From here on out everyone will have to get tested twice a month. I was told it’s my fault that we haven’t already been testing that way. I guess I’m the only one that can make those types of decisions around here. Fantasy Pictures will not get shut down because one of you was stupid enough to have unprotected sex. For God’s sake people when you’re fucking someone on your own time make sure to use a condom. You know the type of work you do. Why put so many people at risk? If you have any questions just hold them until after the results are returned. I’ve talked about this enough today. The nurses are ready to take your blood. They will call everyone in alphabetical order and then you’re free to go. You will be contacted ASAP. Try to relax, and don’t stress yourself out over this. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I mean I’m not a dumbass. I knew the risks, but I was assured every performer was safe and clean, and that they would remain that way at Fantasy Pictures. I wanted to know my results that day, but it wasn’t possible. I looked around, and the only people missing were Mini Molly, Tanya, and Domingo. Once I didn’t see Domingo my gut told me it was him, and I instantly felt like I had to throw up. It seemed like every time I would start to forget about Domingo something would happen,
and it would remind me of him. I fucked him. Tyree fucked him a few times, once even bareback so I was worried. I looked over at Jasmine and she looked devastated. She didn’t say a word until she told us bye as she was leaving. Tyree and I told DeeDee we’d see her later, and we went straight home. I needed to get my mind right after hearing that bullshit.

  Chapter 13

  “What, did you call the save a porn star hotline?”

  I paced my bedroom with a fat, hydro filled blunt that was half way smoked in my right hand, and a half empty glass that I had filled with vodka in my left. My heart raced as my mind seemed to jump to every conclusion. My active brain would not let me sleep, eat, or shit. My imagination had turned me into a self- taught doctor who had all of the answers, or so I thought. My bowels had been loose in the past week only to leave me constipated a week later. I was awoken by nightmares and night sweats every time I tried to close my eyes. During the day, my skin was clammy and I threw up everything I ate. I felt that the truth was staring at me every time I looked in the mirror. I had lost ten pounds in the past week and for me, that was next to impossible. I had been the same weight since high school, never fluctuating not even a pound lighter or heavier. I was FUCKED, and I found that to be kind of ironic being that I was in the fucking industry. I played the last few months over and over as if thinking about it would allow me to change it. How could this have happened? Well, that’s kind of a dumbass question. I’m a fucking porn star who was dumb enough to have unprotected sex, both on and off screen.

  My nights were gloomy and they were followed by even darker days. Everything was put on hold, including my fate. I wasn’t working nor was I living. What was supposed to be my life was filled with booze and weed. I found myself drowning my existence in the substances that I brought both at the store and in the ally that my weed man worked out of. Breeze seemed to be unfazed by the horror that awaited us. I wasn’t the only one in limbo, if the sayings true about you sleeping with everyone your partner has been with, then that meant he’d fucked both Krave and Konceited. Oh, and let’s not forget Konceited’s banger, Domingo. Yet again, the results would be the same, and that left us all FUCKED! In my moment of solitude, I had prayed to God and told him that if He got me out of this one, I would try to better myself. I would try to find a way to become a better person. Maybe even try to find the person I once was. The person who was lost or who had run away, hell maybe I had ran away from her, I didn’t know. I just knew that the road that I was traveling on wasn’t paved for me and I needed to take a detour, fast. The only problem was, I was enjoying my journey, well minus this HIV scare, the hating bitches at work, and the shadiness that Breeze seemed to create. The more I was around him, the more he exposed his real self to me, and I didn’t like that person at all. There are people who are the devil in disguise, but with Breeze he was the devil in person, the devil that lets you see him without a mask, and I don’t know if it scared me or if I liked his honesty about who he was. There were so many things that I questioned and when you’re spending time alone, it gives you the time that you don’t usually make to contemplate on unanswered issues. It gives you time to clear the smoke and discover the bullshit that was buried under the clouded pile of mistakes. FUCK, what was I going to do? It seemed like I was suffocating and I had no way of getting any oxygen. My job, my so-called man, and even my friends, or maybe the lack thereof, were all taking a toll on me. I needed reassurance that everything would be okay, but even that seemed hard to come by. My circle revolved around my job so that meant that everyone was on edge. Everyone had to be tested so everyone was in the same boat that I was drowning in. I refused to go into work and mope around; I was depressed enough without having to see other worried faces. Filming had come to a halt but we were still expected to go in for photo shoots and interviews. “Fuck that bullshit” is what I told Breeze when he came over and demanded that I go into work that morning.