PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans

by Joseph, Fabiola;L. Ramsey, Matthew

  “You thought he was going to give me the dirt on his night didn’t you?” I asked Lanell as we waited for Jamar to come back.

  “Mannn, I was hoping not. You know I’ll be the first one marching with him or any other gay person for their rights but, the sex talk…I can go without that,” Lanell said as we shared a laugh.

  “I’ll spare you this time but you’ll have to get used to it, we’re worse than guys when it comes to that,” I said as I rubbed the back of his neck.

  “Hey, Jazzy, can you come here for a minute?” Jamar asked from the bedroom. Lanell gave me the “What’s up” look but I just shrugged my shoulders. When I walked into the room Jamar was pacing the floor.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked knowing that this wasn’t going to be anything good.

  “Nothing really, Tyree just called,” he answered with a slick smile on his face. I would have bet a large sum of money that he was feeling the euphoric haze of revenge, his smile told me so.

  “And?” I asked while throwing up my hands on my hips.

  “Same old bullshit, just felt good is all.”

  And there it was, the haze I just spoke of.

  “Do you think that you and I could drive back home? I’m feeling like a road trip.”

  Although I was looking forward to flying back home on the private jet, I agreed to drive back with him. I was sure that we were going to have fun no matter what we took, whether it was planes, trains, or automobiles.

  *****

  “See you soon, baby, I love you,” I told Lanell as he leaned over the rented car and kissed me. We were going to be together soon and everything was looking up. I slid on my seatbelt and Jamar stared the car. I took one more look at my man and couldn’t wait for soon to come.

  “So, are you going to give me the dirt on that Anthony guy or what?”

  A smile crept across Jamar’s face at the mention of Anthony’s name. I knew that whatever he was going to tell me was going to be juicy.

  “Girl, now you know that I’m not really a bottom, but for Mr. Rondell, I’ll bottom any day. That man turned me out,” Jamar said as he hit my arm. I sat up in my seat ready to devour anything he was about to feed me.

  “Get the fuck out of here. You mean to tell me that you let HIM bend YOU over…wow. He must have had that good dick.”

  My eyes were big and I couldn’t wait for the next spoonful.

  “Jazzy, I don’t even know how or when it happened but the next thing I knew; I was head down and ass up.”

  I was losing my shit on the passenger side of the car. My sides were hurting from all of the laughing I was doing.

  “Wait, start from the beginning. The last time I say you, you were headed to the bar.”

  I listened to every word Jamar had to say and was blown away. I wished that I could have been a fly on that wall and watched those two go at it. And after a few hours of talking and laughing, my long night of making love to Lanell was starting to catch up with me.

  “I’m gonna take a nap, is that okay?” I asked as I yawned.

  “Girl, please, I got this, I’ll wake you up if I need you,” Jamar said this so easy, as if he had nothing to hide, as if we were headed straight home.

  *****

  “Girl, wake up,” I heard Jamar saying but I was in such a deep sleep, I thought that it may had been a dream.

  “Jasmine, wake up, we don’t have much time.”

  I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. It was still day light and bright outside. I searched through my purse for my sunglasses. Once on, I looked around.

  “Where the fuck are we?”

  Nothing looked as it should.

  “Santa Barbara.”

  That’s all he said, as if those two words were supposed to answer all of the questions that were brewing in my head.

  “What are we doing here?”

  I watched as he reached into a bag that was in the backseat. I waited on the edge of my seat to see what he was going to pull out.

  “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?”

  That was the first time I had been so close to a gun. It was as if I could feel the heaviness of it and I wasn’t even the one holding it.

  “Calm down, Jazzy.”

  “CALM DOWN? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?”

  My heart started to race. Jamar had gone off the deep end and was pulling me in with him.

  “Look, I’m just going to get a little even, I just want to get in that bitch’s face and let her know what her and “Her man” took from me. I want to---.”

  “Did they take away your sanity?” I asked as my head stared to hurt.

  “Where did you get that?” I asked while never taking my eyes off of the gun.

  “And who the fuck is she? Wait…Jamar, no, don’t do this, Tyree is not worth it.”

  I was looking at him hoping to see that my words were sinking in, but I had no such luck. He was cold as a glacier with no sun in sight.

  “I’m not gonna kill the bitch, I’m just gonna let her know what’s up with Tyree. What, do you really think that I would go to jail over that asshole?”

  “So just put it away, you can confront her without it, please Jamar, I’m begging you. Don’t do this!”

  Okay, now I had him thinking. I watched him as he looked at the gun, then back at me, then at the gun, then back at me.

  “Nah, nothing says “Bitch, you’re pregnant by MY man” better than a big ass gun.”

  With that, he was out of the car with his black bag in hand. I had a choice to make and I had to make it fast. Did I let this nut go into this unsuspecting girl’s house alone, or did I go along and make sure that he didn’t do anything stupid? “FUCK!” I yelled as I opened the car and jumped out. I walked quickly and caught up with Jamar, cursing him for getting me into this.

  “Why did you park so far if you’re not planning on doing anything crazy?” I asked Jamar as I halfway ran to keep up with him. He was walking like a man with a mission and I was having a hard time keeping his pace.

  “What if we need to make a quick getaway without being seen?”

  I could tell that he was joking when he asked this, but I wasn’t laughing. I stopped walking and threw my hand on my hip.

  “Give me the fucking keys to the car, I’m not doing this,” I demanded.

  “Okay, you need to stop; you’re bringing unwanted attention to us. Either bring your ass on or go to the car, but please, make a fucking decision.”

  I was in my right mind and wanted to run to the fucking car. But something told me that I would be needed, something said just shut up and follow his ass. Now, I don’t know if it was my good angel talking to me or if it was my bad angel, but it didn’t matter, I ended up listening to it.

  “Do you even have a plan, how do you know if she’s home or not? She may have company, hell, Tyree may be there. And how in the hell do you know where she lives?” I asked as we stood behind the girl’s door.

  “I sat in front of her place for almost an hour as you slept, she pulled up by herself and no one else has come to her house.”

  “What about Tyree, what if he shows up?”

  “He won’t, he called me when we were eating breakfast. He said that he had to work at the warehouse today, and then he would be driving to Santa Barbara this afternoon. He’s not due here until later.”

  I stood there holding my head. I was trying my hardest to wrap my head around everything that was going on, but I couldn’t.

  “You sure you want to do this with me?” Jamar asked as he held his fist up. He was ready to knock on the door but was waiting on my answer. I didn’t give him one, I just nodded my head. There was no “Ready” when it came to situations like this.

  *****

  We sat in that girl’s house after Jamar knocked on the door and told her that he was a friend of Tyree’s. She hurried and took the chain off the door possibly thinking that something was wrong with her baby’s father. I watched her wobble to the couch and sit down before offering Jam
ar and me a seat. After making small talk about the drive down, she wanted to get down to business.

  “So how do you know Tyree, is he okay?”

  I couldn’t sit still. My legs were shaking and it felt like someone had lit a flame under my ass.

  “We are very close, we work together,” Jamar told her, almost with a smirk.

  “So, is he okay?” She asked with a hint of panic in her voice.

  “Yeah, he’s fine, but I’m not.”

  Oh, shit, here we go. I thought to myself. She was looking at him like “who gives a shit?”

  “Who did you say you were again?”

  I could tell that she wasn’t feeling as comfortable as she was before.

  “I’m his fucking boyfriend.”

  Jamar was starting to reach into his bag and I was getting nervous.

  “Here, take a look for yourself. There he is, your baby-daddy, and MY man. There, how’s it feel, bitch? Does it hurt? ‘Cause you out here playing house with my GAY lover, my motherfucking man.”

  She picked up the stacks of DVD’s Jamar sat in front of her and looked at each one. When she stared to hold onto her belly, I thought that the shock had sent her into early labor.

  “I need a glass of water,” she said as she got up and headed for her kitchen. Once she was out of ear shot I turned my attention to Jamar.

  “Now what? You know that she’s going to tell Tyree that you were here. She is going to tell him about the DVD’s too you know?”

  I was confused. I couldn’t tell where he wanted to go with what was happening.

  “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT SHE TELLS HIM. I WANT HER TO TELL HIS LYING ASS THAT I WAS HERE, HELL, I HOPE SHE TELLS HIM EVERYTHING.”

  I sat and waited to see what would happen next. Jamar was staring to lose his cool and nothing good could come from that.

  “So, you mean to tell me that I’m supposed to believe that Tyree is a porn star, and that you’re his live-in boyfriend?”

  Tyree’s baby-mama came out of the kitchen with a new found attitude that she didn’t have before.

  “The truth is looking right at you, honey. You’re gonna have to face the fact that we have been sharing the same no good, lying man. But at least I’m just walking away with a lesson; you’re walking away with major baggage,” he said while pointing at her stomach. She didn’t like that too much. She got in his face and that’s when the yelling stared. She was yelling about Jamar being crazy and about him lying. Jamar was yelling because he was hurt, because he was gone mentally, and because he was on a mission. He wanted to ruin Tyree’s life and anything he had going with this girl named June.

  “BITCH, you better back the fuck up out of my face!”

  “Or what?” June challenged.

  “Really? I’m here with proof and you’re coming at me like this?”

  “And? What the fuck are you going to do about it?”

  Jamar was now disgusted.

  “You heard what I said, what the fuck are you doing to do about it?”

  Jamar reached into his bag and pulled out the gun. He pushed it into her face and the room went silent.

  “What? Cat got your tongue?”

  Jamar had a weird demented look on his face. I had a feeling that he was enjoying this much more then he should have been.

  “Oh, my God, Jamar, that’s enough. Put it away, she’s scared, look at her.”

  My whole body was shaking by that point.

  “Now, are you going to calm down or am I going to have to help you?”

  She didn’t make a sound, and after a long pause and staring contest, Jamar sat the gun down on her entry table. I moved closer to the front door praying that this meant we were about to leave.

  “I’m just telling you this for your own good. I don’t know what he told you he did but he’s sucking my dick and getting bent over by me. He not only does this for work, he also does it for pleasure.”

  “For my own good? You think that listening to your lies is doing me good? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

  I had to give it to her. She was really trying to convince herself that Jamar was lying.

  “I’m leaving, but only because I said everything I had to say. I thought that I was bad, but you’re one sorry bitch.”

  I don’t know if Jamar missed it, but I saw fire in her eyes after he said that. As he gathered the five movies he had brought with him for proof, I saw something in the corner of my eyes. I looked at Jamar to see if he noticed what I did but his back was turned.

  “JAMAR!” I yelled as June went charging toward him. She had something long, sharp, and shiny in her hand and she was ready to do damage. I had to think fast, I had to stop her. As I reached for the gun, I wasn’t thinking about shooting her. I just wanted to make her back off. I just wanted to put a stop to her attack on Jamar.

  “Oh, my god, what did you do?” Jamar asked as I stood there with the smoking gun. It was still pointed at the same spot the pregnant woman once stood in. My mouth was open, and my mind was cloudy. I didn’t know what had happened or how.

  “Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, did I just, wait, is she? She was going to stab you with the knife, I don’t know, I just reacted.”

  *****

  I couldn’t find the words. Everything in my brain was melting into one big shit pile. I had just picked up a gun and pulled the trigger. I didn’t know if June was dead or alive but I did know that I went blank. I didn’t come back to myself until we were on the highway heading home.

  “Was she…is she…dead?”

  That’s the first thing I had said since pulling the trigger.

  “Yeah, she’s dead,” was all that Jamar said. I was only left with one thought and it echoed in my head over and over again. All I heard was, “You are now a murderer.”

  Chapter 36

  “Damn, I got your whole body shaking. You like it, huh?”

  Besides avoiding Tyree and trying to figure out what I was going to do with him and our situation everything was good. I was relaxing and watching reruns of Martin when Jasmine called me out of the blue.

  “Hey, lover.”

  “Hey what’s up, Jazzy?”

  “I need to see you. Can you come pick me up right now?”

  “Where are you?”

  As she told me where she was, she sounded sad and lost. Not lost as in not knowing where she was located, but lost in life. I could tell she was wasted and had one too many, but I asked her if she had been drinking just for confirmation. Not only did she confirm, but she made it clear that she hadn’t had enough. There was no way I was going to allow her to drive or walk the streets of L.A. alone. I told her to have a seat and wait for me to pick her up. Once I turned onto Hollywood Boulevard, I saw her swaying left to right on the bench, so I knew it was going to be a long night. I thought I’d make light of the situation, so I slowly pulled up until I was right in front of her. She didn’t even notice I was there until I put the window down and started speaking.

  “Hey, baby, don’t I know you? Aren’t you that slut in those porno movies? How much for a date, honey?”

  She looked up and I could tell she wasn’t in the mood to joke around.

  “Ha ha, very funny; fuck you, Jamar. You’ve sold your loose booty more times than I ever will.”

  “Actually, it’s my dick that I sell; but touché.”

  I put my truck in park, got out, and ran around to help her get inside. I made sure she had all of her belongings and was buckled in. Once I got back in the truck, I zoned out. I was staring at her, wondering how she could be so sad and let herself get so drunk. I just hoped she wasn’t heading to the point of no return like I did when I got that drunk. I was underage and hanging out with some friends when I was dared to take 20 shots of Hennessey on top of everything else that I had to drink that night. Of course, I thought I could hang with the big boys and there was no way I was going to turn down a dare. I never made it to the 20, though. Once I got to the sixteenth one, I was constantly blacking out a
nd coming to until I threw up like the exorcist all over the place. It was one of my most embarrassing moments, so thankfully, I learned that lesson young. I just hoped and prayed that night with Jasmine would be vomit free, at least until we got out of my truck. I didn’t mind being the designated driver, but I couldn’t deal with her throwing up.

  “Don’t look at me like that, Jamar; I can’t take it. I know that I am a mess. I’m so sorry for dragging you down here.”

  She caught me staring which took me away from my thoughts. I let her know I was just concerned and that I didn’t mind helping a friend. She knew I was sincere so she held my hand.

  “So where do you want to go?”

  I could tell she was in deep thought because she paused and stared straight ahead before replying “Vegas”. At first I thought it was the alcohol talking but once she kept going on and on about it she had me at “we can fly first class”. She didn’t want to be around Breeze and I would’ve been stuck in the house with Tyree’s lying ass, so even though it was so random, her plan sounded better than renting a movie and talking about our issues like I had in mind. I was impressed with my friend, because even though she was drunk she was a functional drunk. She called up the airport, booked us two first class flights on the fastest flight out of L.A.

  Then, as soon as we landed she called the Black Oasis and like a super star, she had them get the penthouse ready for our arrival. I was envious of the power of the pussy, especially when we walked in and I saw that pent house. Besides my new home it was better than anywhere else I had ever lived. It was straight out of an old episode of MTV’s cribs. After I admired where we would be staying I was shocked that the first thing she did was head to the bar especially since she had two cocktails on the flight there. She let it be known that she was just getting started. I figured, fuck it, if you can’t beat ’em, you might as well join ’em. With that, we touched glasses and I had my first drink of the night.

  After hitting up all of the major clubs and casinos it was the next morning. I’ll admit that was the best night with just Jasmine alone since I met her, but I wanted some much needed rest. Jasmine had other plans in mind, she wanted to keep dancing so she wouldn’t have to stop and think about her problems. I knew she had a performance coming up and would need some rest if she wanted to put on a great show. I had to take care of her because she definitely wasn’t taking care of herself.