“Rhett and Maddox? Are they okay?” My tone was pleading.
Mom looked away and Dad came into view. He was the one to answer. “They didn’t make it. Both of them were killed on impact.”
A sob came from Mom and Dad’s eyes started to water.
“When did this happen? How long have I been out?” I tried to remain calm so I could handle this situation rationally, but it was getting harder and harder.
“You’ve been out for a whole week. We’re just so happy that you’re alive.” Dad paused to get a grip on his emotions. “The doctor says your bones will heal and there will be no permanent damage. You were so lucky, sweetheart.”
“Rhett and Maddox are really gone?”
Dad nodded his head solemnly and started crying again. Nothing tore at your heart like seeing your Dad crying.
Time seemed to slow in that moment.
The monitors started beeping rapidly as my heart raced. My lungs felt too tight to draw in a breath. My body still ached.
This couldn’t be happening for a third time. This time I lost Rhett too.
This can’t be it. This can’t be it, I repeated in my head again and again.
I couldn’t lose the both of them. It definitely wasn’t supposed to be like this. I could fix this. I had that ability, so why did everything seem to be worse?
My broken body shuddered at my chaotic thoughts.
I welcomed the coppery, silvery smell and closed my eyes.
When they reopened, I was back in my room. I looked at my phone. The time was eight in the morning and the day was the Sunday that my grounding was lifted.
The first thing I did was run to the store and I bought the new zombie game Maddox wanted. Next, I called Rhett and called off our date. He was angry at first, but I told him that I would need him later on tonight and would explain everything then. After that, he let it go and told me to call him when I needed him.
I shook Maddox awake once I got home. It was shocking that Mom and Dad were still sleeping too and weren’t even aware that I’d left the house earlier.
Maddox groaned and stretched his limbs. “What is wrong with you? It’s a Sunday and I should be sleeping in as late as possible.”
“You don’t want to sleep the day away when we could be playing this.” I held the game up for him to see.
He jumped up and snatched it out of my hands. “No way. You’re the best sister ever. Let’s play it now.”
“Don’t you want to eat first?” I laughed.
“Oh, right. How about you grab some cereal and we’ll eat it dry while we play?” he suggested.
“Dry cereal?”
“Yeah. It’s a mess trying to eat cereal and milk while playing video games, especially the zombie ones. Trust me. I’ve tried it. Mom was mad at me for a week when she came in and saw the mess.”
“I’ll have to keep that in mind. Be right back then.”
He nodded his head in response and I swiftly ran to the kitchen. I didn’t want to waste any time with Maddox. Not when the inevitable was going to happen.
My gut wrenched as I reached for the cereal on top of the fridge. What kind of time traveler was I when I couldn't even save my own brother? It was a depressing thought that made me hate my gift even more. I’d never felt so useless before, but it taught me that I couldn’t control everything.
I wiped the single stray tear before going back into Maddox’s room with the cereal in hand. “Is it all ready to go?”
“Yep, sure is. Here’s your remote.”
He passed me my favorite blue one and I thanked him as I grasped it. He always used his special edition zombie one and he was already tapping away on it. He began the game and the violence began.
“Just so you know this one’s harder than the other games we’ve played,” he warned.
“I think I can handle it,” I said with a wink and we started playing.
“These type of games don’t give you nightmares?” I inquired when we took a break for lunch.
Mom had made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She asked if Rhett and I were in a fight and if that was why I’d canceled dinner with him tonight. I had to reassure her that we were fine and that I just felt like hanging out with Maddox tonight.
Even though I’d been home while grounded, I wasn’t able to do anything fun like playing games with Maddox. I should’ve done this in the first place, but at least I had the chance to redo it. That was the only good thing about my talent. I was at least able to get one good day with my brother. One that would make him happy and one that I would always remember.
“Not at all. Why? Do they scare you?” He peered over his sandwich to glance at me.
“Nope, but I don’t play them as much as you do. I’m surprised it doesn't mess with your mind.”
“You always say that, but it’s just a game. It’s not like zombies are a real thing. It’s a myth that violence in video games is bad for children. At least I think it is.”
“What if zombies were real? Would you go all badass on them like you do in these games?”
He shook his head. “I hope I’m not around if that day ever comes. It wouldn't be worth living if you were always worried about getting eaten and had to watch your back. It’s different when it’s imaginary. It’s all fun and games then. The day it becomes real, is the day it becomes a nightmare.”
“That was very insightful. You’re really smart, ya know that?”
Maddox chuckled and I committed the sound of it to memory. “You say that like you’re surprised. Did you think I was dumb or something?”
“Nah, I just didn’t realize you were that thoughtful about things.”
“So you thought I was simple-minded, which is very similar to dumb.”
We were both laughing now.
“I’m not good with words obviously. Just take it as a compliment about being smart and forget about the rest of what was said. Deal?”
“Deal. Ready to get back at it?” He tilted his head towards the television.
“Only if you are. Do you think we can beat the game in one day?”
“At this rate we can. Is that what you want? You don’t want to save some for later?”
“No way. Let’s kick this games butt in one day.”
“Well, then let’s stop wasting time.”
We started the game back up. By nightfall, we’d almost beat the game when Dad poked his head in. “I didn’t realize you were in here, Molly. You guys having fun?”
“Yeah, Dad. We haven't beat the game yet, but we’ve gotten really far. Molly’s the best.”
“You mind running to the store with me, squirt, and you guys can pick back up on it when we get back? That way you can pick out the snacks you like,” Dad asked Maddox.
“Yeah, I’ll just pause it until we get back,” Maddox replied.
“You’re welcome to join us,” Dad directed at me.
“That’s okay. You two go. I’ll help Mom with laundry or something. I’m sure there’s something I can do for her,” I replied.
“Okay, sounds perfect. Let’s go, squirt. Maybe we can go out to eat when we get back,” Dad offered.
“Yeah,” Maddox exclaimed. “We can go to my favorite place. The one with the peanut butter milkshake.”
“That sounds good,” I said weakly.
“You okay, sweetie?” Dad asked me and Maddox raised his eyebrows in question.
I nodded and hugged Dad bye. When my arms snaked around Maddox, I held him as tight as I could. I thought about his warmth, his smell, his laugh, the sound of his voice. I locked it all in a box in my mind so that I would remember it forever. I didn’t want to forget anything about him.
“Uh, sis, you can let me go now.” Maddox’s voice was muffled by my shirt.
I reluctantly released him. “Sorry, bud. I just love you so much. You know that, right?”
He laughed again. “You’re so weird. Of course I do and I hope you know that I love you too. You’re the best sister any brother could
have. I’m also proud of your skill at video games.”
“No, I’m proud of your skills. Love you, bro.”
Maddox grinned. “Love you too, sis.”
“All right you two. It’s not like you aren’t going to see her again. We’ll probably be back in an hour at most. Then you guys can start figuring out what your next game to play is.”
We both looked to Dad.
“Sorry, did we bore you with the strange love fest?” Maddox joked.
“Not at all. I hope you both know that I love you guys. While we’re at it, I guess I can say you’re the best children a dad could ask for.”
We shared a group hug and they both walked out laughing. That would’ve been the strangest encounter to me too if I didn’t know that I was willingly letting my brother walk to his death. That single thought had me calling Rhett over.
Mom needed help with dishes and laundry, so I did what I could before Rhett showed up. I beckoned him in and let him read my thoughts. He frowned at me when he was finished and pulled me into his arms.
I didn’t cry. It wasn’t time yet. Mom had to get the news first or it would just look strange for me to be crying for no reason.
As if on cue, Mom’s phone rang. The shrill of it violated the silence that had fallen in the house. It was an eerie silence filled with impending doom.
Rhett was still holding me when Mom came into the room. She wobbled on her feet as she said, “We have to get to the hospital. Can you drive? I don’t think I’m capable of it.”
“I’ll drive,” Rhett offered as he rushed to help steady Mom.
I should be helping her, but my stomach was doing too many flips. I was desperately trying not to spew everywhere.
Rhett assisted her into the car and I sat in the backseat with her. I allowed her to cry on my shoulder the whole way to the hospital. This time though, I sobbed with her.
Chapter Thirteen
Just like before, Rhett gave me the jacket out of his car before we entered. I relished in its warmth and knew it would be just what I needed. I wondered if Rhett saw him giving me his jacket in the pasts I experienced. When I looked up at him, he nodded his head and confirmed my thoughts. I was amazed that his ability to read my thoughts was coming in handy rather than becoming a nuisance.
It was painful to walk into the frigid hospital this time. I knew just whose life it was beckoning and I couldn’t do a thing to prevent it. Rhett slipped his arm around my shoulders. He most likely read my mind and knew how solemn and guilty I was feeling.
Aunt Berty met us in the lobby and rode the elevator to the fourth floor with us. Mom had me call her on the way here and Aunt Berty quickly replaced me as Mom’s crying pillow. I’d reined in my tears, but was still leaning on Rhett for support.
The elevator dinged loudly with familiarity. Rhett had to force me forward because my feet wouldn’t move. They felt like lead and each step was harder than the previous. I vaguely heard Aunt Berty asking about my Dad and brother, but a humming filled my ears.
My body moved forward of its own will this time and went in the direction of the ICU area. I already knew where he was and I already knew what the doctor had to say about Maddox. I didn't need to hear it again.
Aunt Berty called for me to come back, but I ignored her. Rhett’s constant presence behind me was reassuring and all I needed for right now.
“I’m right here for you, babe,” he whispered into my ear as we neared Dad’s room.
Rhett told the ICU nurse who we were here to see and she directed us where to go. Not that I needed it. I didn’t go into Dad’s room this time. Not after what happened before. I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him about Maddox because I couldn’t say it out loud yet. It would make it that much more real. I should’ve accepted it by now since I knew it was going to happen, but who could really accept their brother dying? Part of my brain was still yelling at me to go back and save him.
After the children dying and then Rhett dying, I was certain that Maddox would even agree this was the best way. At least we had one last day with each other. My heart was in my throat and if I coughed, it would probably come flying out.
Rhett pulled me into him and my back was flush against his front. The warmth of him reminded me of Maddox. Maddox was always burning up too and always kept his fan on. It didn’t bother me while playing those zombie games with him because they got my blood pumping.
I would never be able to play video games with him again.
I would never see his smile.
I would never hear his laugh.
I would never hear his yells of anger after he got killed by a zombie.
This time, Maddox was really gone. He wasn’t coming back.
“Your dad’s still here. How about we go in and see him?” Rhett offered. He was trying to help as best he could.
I shook my head. “He doesn’t know about Maddox and I don’t want to have to tell him. I still remembered how he reacted the last time I did, but I guess that didn’t really happen.”
That was when the tears came. My body collapsed into Rhett and he lifted me up. He was carrying me somewhere and I didn’t care where.
~*~
Two days flew by in a fog. I didn’t return to school this go round since I had the knowledge that it only made me feel worse. Mackenzie Martin’s dad lived and was in jail, just like before. Things were how they were meant to be and the world still turned.
Rhett skipped school and stayed home with me all day yesterday. It was spent with me soaking his shirt with my tears until they all dried up. I made him go to school today since he was going to miss tomorrow for Maddox’s funeral. I was dreading it.
Dad was still in the hospital, but would be released tomorrow morning before the funeral. It was the reason that we pushed the ceremony off until four in the afternoon. We wanted to give Dad enough time to get cleaned up.
Mom was downstairs crying at the dinner table. Aunt Berty was trying to console her as best she could, which seemed impossible these days. It wasn't natural for parents to be burying their children.
The day seemed to drag and I wanted to do something to speed time up. I could’ve skipped it, but I was too mad at my ability to be bothered. My talent made me feel like I was to blame for Maddox’s death. How could I stop the fight between Rhett and Alec, but not save my brother? It just didn’t make sense. I cursed fate and whatever pattern it weaved for us. It was unfair and just made me feel nauseous.
I picked myself off my bed and my feet moved of their own will. They stopped outside of Maddox’s door. My mouth dried as I twisted the knob. My hand slipped at first from the sweat that had pooled into my palm, but I got it open on the second try.
Of course, it was exactly like we’d left it the night before. The game we were playing was still on and I moved forward to turn it off. My finger lingered on the switch, but my body froze up. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t turn off the last game we played with each other. It was like erasing that last night together. We didn’t make it to a checkpoint so we’d have to start all over if I turned it off now. Or, I guess I would have to start over.
My knees collapsed and my body fell into a kneeling position. My finger still hovered over the power switch, but I quickly removed it. I wouldn’t let this be it.
I took my blue remote and switched the game to single player like Maddox had showed me. I had every intention of playing it and getting to the next checkpoint at least, but broke down instead. I held Maddox’s zombie control to my chest and bawled my eyes out. I vomited at one point, but luckily had made it to his trash can.
That was how Rhett found me when he got out of school. I was hugging the trash can, sobbing uncontrollably. My body was just dry heaving now.
Rhett rushed to my side. “I would be totally grossed out right now if I didn’t care about you so much.”
His attempt at a joke fell flat as I started crying harder. I hadn’t realized that was possible.
“Babe, I hate seeing you like this.”
His honey eyes swam with emotion as he assisted me off the floor.
He reached to turn the game system off, but my fingers instinctually wrapped around his wrist to stop him. He looked at me with the question in his eyes.
“T-that w-was t-the last g-game M—” I couldn’t say his name and paused for a breath before continuing, “we p-played t-together.”
Rhett bobbed his head in understanding and helped me back to my room. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
“Do I look that bad?”
He hesitated. “No, not at all, babe.”
He kissed my temple as we entered the bathroom. I gasped when we walked in front of the mirror. He was lying because I looked like garbage. No, worse than garbage. I looked like a dog ate the garbage and threw it back up.
“We’ll get you cleaned up,” Rhett said reassuringly.
He ran me another shower. He went to leave once the temperature of the water was right, but I stopped him.
“Don’t leave me. Please.” My voice sounded so pathetic, but I didn’t want to be alone.
Rhett’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “But we haven’t made it to that step in our relationship yet.”
“You mean seeing me naked?”
His cheeks reddened and he awkwardly nodded his head. “Yeah, that thing.”
“Rhett, I don’t really care if you see me. I just don’t want to be by myself right now. My thoughts would eat me alive. How about you get in with me?”
This time he blanched. “Um, uh. I’m not sure—you aren’t really thinking straight right now so…” he trailed off.
My eyes narrowed at him. “I’m thinking just fine and my brain’s telling me to make you stay, so stay.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “Grief makes you bossy.”
I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it. Sorry I asked.”
I started stripping in front of him and could tell he was torn about what to do. The conflict overtook all other emotions in his eyes. His internal battle must’ve ended because he was soon undressing with me.
I got into the shower first and it took him a second before he followed. Rhett stood at the other end of the tub, not even getting wet. He looked at everything except me. I began washing off and tried to brush the awkwardness off like it was nothing. My plan worked. My nonchalantness rubbed off him and he stepped into the water.
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