“I’ll talk to you later baby. Have a safe flight.” With that he turned around and walked in the other direction.
Liv stood completely still, stunned, then looked at Paige. “Not. A. Word. Got it?”
“Got it,” Paige giggled.
Twenty minutes into the flight Liv was still behaving as though nothing particularly significant had happened to her over the past couple of days. Paige was worried.
“You okay?” Paige wasn’t sure whether she wanted to open floodgates just yet.
“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“I’m not playing this game. You know perfectly well why I asked. Now start talking . . . how are you feeling about Ben, about what’s happened, about all of it?”
“I’m not playing games Paige, when I say I’m fine, I mean it.”
“Not buyin’ it.”
“Why not? Look, I just lived out every woman’s fantasy. I had a whirlwind romance with a guy I thought was completely out of my league. I had fantastic, mind-blowing sex, and then he offered to fly me home on his private plane. Seriously, why wouldn’t I be fine?”
“Maybe because you just said goodbye to him.”
“What does that have to do anything? I went into this with my eyes wide open. Maybe not the first day, but you pointed out something to me that I hadn’t considered. It changed my whole outlook.”
“Which something was it?”
“That I hadn’t had sex since Scott died. You know how messed up that is? It’s crazy abnormal in a freakishly weird way. And if it wasn’t for Ben, who knows when or if I ever would’ve again. So, yeah, I repeat, I’m fine.”
“No regrets, no self doubts, no wondering when you’re going to see him again?”
“None of the above. And as far as seeing him again, I have no intention of allowing that to happen.”
Liv turned her face toward the window and closed her eyes. Every time she did, she could see Ben. Yes, she had an ache in her heart, but what good would it do to admit it, or allow herself to get absorbed by it? No good. Ben had a great big, exciting bigger-than-life life. She had . . . her ranch. And there was nothing wrong with that, she was lucky to have it. But other than that, and an amazing daughter who was out creating her own life, independent of her mother, there wasn’t much more she brought to anyone’s table.
“You don’t fool me.”
“Paige, please let it go.”
“No I’m not going to let it go. He wants to see you again, he said it, and I believe him.”
“To what end? What would be the point?” Paige was making her angry. Why wouldn’t she just drop it?
“Why do you keep yourself on the outskirts of life? It breaks my heart when I see you do it. You are an amazing woman, and yet it seems as though you’re done. You raised your daughter and now you’re starting the descent, into what I don’t know. Your life isn’t over Liv, it’s just beginning. Why won’t you let yourself take a chance with this guy? He seems to really like you.”
“Enough Paige! Why do you have to push me so hard? I had a great time. I had great sex. I didn’t fall in love and I don’t plan to, not ever again. Scott was it for me. He was the great love of my life. There, are you happy? You made me say it. Now leave me alone.”
“Oh sweetie . . .” Paige tried to comfort her but Liv jerked her shoulder away.
Paige could see Liv’s shoulders shaking, she’d brought her to tears. God, what kind of a friend was she? Liv had been fine, but Paige had pushed her to the point where she wasn’t fine anymore. Why hadn’t she just let it be?
Because she cared about her. Paige wanted Liv to see what she was doing to herself. She doubted Liv would even go out if she and Mark didn’t always push her to. They’d invite Liv out, Liv would refuse, and between her and Mark, they wouldn’t let up on her until she finally gave in.
Even this trip to Las Vegas, Liv wouldn’t have gone if Paige hadn’t pushed her to go. There needed to come a time when Liv decided for herself that she wanted back in the game of life, it shouldn’t be up to Paige to force the issue.
Paige decided it would be best if she kept her mouth shut the rest of the flight. Liv didn’t seem to feel the need to fill the silence. They were walking up the ramp from the plane to the terminal before Liv spoke.
“I’m sorry. I know you mean well.”
Paige sighed, wishing there was something she could say that would make a difference. She hated to think Liv would spend the rest of her life alone. It was up to Ben now. If he cared about Liv the way he said he did, Liv would hear from him.
***
Liv didn’t want to tell Paige that when she’d turned her cell back on after the flight, there was a text from Ben, with a photo. And a voicemail from him, which she didn’t intend to listen to until she got home and was alone.
The picture was of him on the plane, pouting. And he wrote, I’m not letting go of this Liv.
She doubted their little fling amounted to much more than a blip on his radar. He probably kept a string of girls on the hook, one in every city—his hookup girls. She had no intention of being one of them. She just wouldn’t answer him, he’d lose interest, and go away.
Her phone beeped again, another text from him. Hey baby, how was your flight? Miss you already. Oh God, what was he doing? She powered down her phone and put it in her bag.
“Hear from him?”
“Nope and I don’t expect to.” She’d just lied to Paige, and she didn’t have any idea why.
She dropped her bags inside the back door and went straight to the barn. Mark had been taking care of her horses along with the others that boarded with her, but right then all she could think about was riding as hard and as fast and as far as Micah would take her.
“Hey sweet boy,” she said as she walked into the stall. “Let’s ride, what do you say?” Micah, lover boy that he was, nuzzled up against her. “Did you miss me? I missed you.” She scratched down his nose and led him out of the stall.
Ten minutes later he was saddled up and they were out on the trail. From her hundred-acre ranch out County Line Road, she had a perfect view of Pikes Peak and the rest of the Front Range. There was nothing like the wide open spaces and blue skies of Colorado.
When her father retired he bought this ranch, knowing how much Liv had always wanted a horse of her own. He had promised her that one day they would live in a place where she could. Being an Air Force family meant they moved every two or three years. Having a horse, or even a dog, had been out of the question given the life they led. Liv’s mother hadn’t been keen on the idea of living so far outside of town, but the Black Forest community was a tight-knit one, and the loneliness she’d expected from their secluded location never materialized.
They made friends with the other ranchers and just about every weekend there was a social function either with them or with other retired Air Force families.
Liv was a freshman in high school when they moved here twenty-six years ago. She’d left briefly when she and Scott were married. Now she considered it home and never planned to leave.
Micah wound his way through the heavily-treed trail without much coaxing from Liv. Once they reached the top of the short incline they would come to a clearing and a wide-open meadow where he could run fast and hard.
“Ready boy?” she said, giving him a little kick, and Micah took off like a rocket. This was freedom. No worries, just her and her horse. She was thankful every day that her father bought this ranch.
Her parents died within a couple of years of each other, her dad went first, over ten years ago, followed by her mom. Liv still missed them, she couldn’t imagine the feeling ever going away. She had been an only child and very close to both her parents. Renie was the light of all their lives. Once her mom and dad were gone, the house was a little too quiet.
Since the ranch was bought and paid for, no mortgage, and her parents had left her a generous sum of money allowing her to be comfortable for the rest of her life, Liv hadn’t needed to worry ab
out how she’d support herself and her daughter. But between the two of them, they’d decided to take in boarded horses anyway. It provided a bit of an income, but more, it provided some company when the people boarding them came to ride.
One of the neighboring ranches was owned by a couple who had become like a second family to Liv. The Pattersons had been leasing their ranch land for their cattle since before Liv’s father owned it. It added income, provided for the care and maintenance of the land, and it also gave them some excitement. Calving season, branding, all of it gave her and Renie life experiences they wouldn’t have otherwise known. Liv wasn’t much of a ranch hand herself, but she was always willing to dish out a hot meal for the cowboys and wranglers at busy times of the year. That was when she’d started baking. Her pies had become the dessert mainstay of Patterson Ranch barbecues.
She decided to stop and see if Dottie Patterson was home. She tied up Micah near the barn and walked in the back door.
“Hey-o, anybody here?” Liv never knocked first, Dottie wouldn’t have known how to take it if Liv had. She probably would’ve been insulted.
“In here, honey,” Dottie called out from kitchen.
Liv walked straight up to the woman and let herself be surrounded by a hug like no one else gave but Dottie. Her eyes immediately filled with tears.
“What’s this?” Dottie asked, holding Liv at arms’ length. “Sit down young lady and tell me what these tears are all about.”
Liv sat, and proceeded to tell Dottie about Ben Rice, including the part about her not having sex since Scott had died.
“You know sweetie, Bill and I always hoped one of the cowboys who worked our ranch would turn your head, but year after year it never happened. It wasn’t for lack of trying on their part either.”
“What are you talking about? Whose part?”
“Well let’s see now . . . there have been a slew of ’em trying for years to get your attention.”
“Like who?”
“Well Billy Junior was one, but I think he gave up years ago, honey. You wouldn’t even look in his direction. Then there was the Morehouse boy, what was his name?”
“Brandon.”
“That’s right, Brandon. He had a fierce crush on you. There were others.”
Liv was stunned. She’d never known this.
“Are you sure you aren’t talking about someone else?”
“No I’m not talking about someone else. I’m talking about you Olivia. You’ve never been aware of your own beauty, that’s probably one of the things that makes you so irresistible. And from the day she was born, you’ve been wrapped up in being the best mama you could be to Renie. But sweetie, we’ve worried some about you not realizing there was more to life than that.”
“I wasn’t a bitch was I?”
Dottie laughed. “You mean to the boys? Well maybe a little. It just made them want to follow you around all the more.”
Liv hadn’t been that interested in dating in high school, she’d already decided Scott was the only man for her. She supposed guys flirted with her, but she never really paid attention.
“I didn’t know.”
“That was pretty clear,” Dottie chuckled again. “It’s always that way isn’t it? The girls who do the chasin’ the boys don’t want. The girls who don’t know the boys exist, the boys can’t get enough of.”
Dottie reached over and put her palm on Liv’s cheek. “You need to open your heart up a little. Let him in.”
“Who? Ben? I don’t think he really wants in Dottie. In fact, I’d be surprised if I heard from him again.”
“You got your cell phone on you?”
“Yeah,” she said, pulling it out of the pocket in her vest.
“Is it on?”
She hadn’t remembered to turn it back on since she’d gotten home. She hit the power button and set it down on the table.
It immediately chirped, letting her know she had a new voice message and a couple of text messages too. Liv picked up the phone to look. Her face turned red.
“That’s what I thought. You heard from him didn’t you?”
“Yes, but . . .”
“No darlin’, no yes-buts. I’m gonna excuse myself for a few minutes. You listen to those messages and when I come back, you’re gonna tell me what he said.”
***
Ben couldn’t understand why Liv hadn’t answered him. He was starting to feel as though she might be avoiding him. Maybe she hadn’t charged her phone. He knew her flight had landed a couple of hours ago, and figured she’d be home by now, although he didn’t know how far it was from the airport to wherever it was she lived. He knew it was somewhere between Denver and Colorado Springs, but that was all he knew.
He wished she’d just answer him, as it was, he couldn’t think about anything else. This was uncharted territory for him, this woman was under his skin, making him crazy thinking about her.
The door of his house flew open and Luke came running toward him followed by his brother.
“Daddy’s home,” Luke shouted. Ben lifted him up and swung him around a couple of times before setting him down, grabbing Jake and doing the same thing.
Jake gave his dad an exasperated sigh, but Ben didn’t care. You never got too old for your dad to show you he loved you. At least he hadn’t. Ben’s mom and dad walked in the door behind the boys.
“There he is,” his mom said, giving him a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. “We missed you around here.”
Ben’s dad came over and hugged him too. They were a family who had never been shy about affection, and Ben was glad of it.
“Hey Dad, how are you?”
“I’m good son, how were the bright lights of Las Vegas? Stayed a little longer than you thought, were you winnin’ big?”
“No, you know me better than that. Never have been a big gambler.”
His father looked deep into his eyes. Ben knew his dad wouldn’t ask the question, but Ben would answer anyway.
“Nothin’ to report Dad. Life is good.”
Ben’s father put his hand on his shoulder. “Glad to hear it.”
They worried whenever he went on the road, and they were right to. The truth was, the time he spent with Liv, he hadn’t thought about drinking at all. Even at the show. He wanted her, but he hadn’t wanted a drink.
The boys were racing around him, each vying for his attention, telling him what they’d been doing while he was gone. That morning his dad had taken them fishing and his mom had grilled up what they caught for lunch.
“There’s a rodeo in Gunnison Dad. Can we go? This is the last year Luke can do mutton bustin’.”
Luke was Ben’s little Tasmanian devil, Jake was the more cautious of his boys. Ben knew the older Luke got, the more trouble he’d likely get into, just like he had. That worried him more than a little.
“Of course we can go. Are G’ma and G’pa coming along?”
“You bet.”
Ben pulled his cell phone out, not only to check the time, but to see if he’d heard back from Liv. He hadn’t. “It’s 2:30, what time do we have to be there?”
“Check-in’s at 5:00,” Jake answered. “Can we play PS3 until it’s time to go?”
Ben laughed. “You can play PS3 for an hour, then you can play outside until it’s time to go.”
“Thanks Daddy,” said Luke, climbing up Ben’s leg to give him a kiss. Ben picked him up and hugged him close. “I missed you buddy.”
“Me too. Put me down now Daddy, Jake’s gonna pick out a game I don’t want to play if you don’t put me down.”
“Okay, there you go pard’ner.” He set Luke on his feet and turned back to his parents, who were studying him.
“What?” Ben looked behind him as if to ask what they were looking at.
“Good to see you son,” his mom said, kissing his cheek for the second time.
“What’s goin’ on? I was gone for a couple of days. You’re both acting like I was gone for a month.”
“When
you changed your flight plan, I’ve got to admit, it made your mom and me worry.”
“It wasn’t what you think.”
“What was it then?”
“I met someone.”
Chapter 5
Only one of the new texts on her phone was from Ben. The others were from Paige and Renie. Paige wanted to make sure Liv was still speaking to her, which, of course, she was. Renie wanted to know how Las Vegas was. Where to begin? How much did she tell her daughter?
Ben’s said, Are you okay? Answer me Liv. Please. His voice mails said much of the same, but went further. Hearing it rather than reading it, made it different. There was longing in his voice. He said he couldn’t stop thinking about her, couldn’t wait to see her again, couldn’t wait to feel her next to him again. Then he sang a little.
Liv put her elbows on the table and leaned her face into her hands. She didn’t know what to do, or how to respond to him. Did he think she’d just pick up and drive to Crested Butte to see him? He hadn’t said anything specific, just that he couldn’t wait to see her. What did that mean?
Dottie shuffled back in and sat down next to her. “So?”
“He said he can’t wait to see me again.”
“And?”
“That’s about it.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“I have no idea.”
Liv rode Micah back home, brushed him down and went into her house for the first time in several days. Mark had left the mail on the kitchen counter and watered her plants. She opened up the refrigerator, but nothing appealed to her to eat. When had she last eaten? She couldn’t remember. She thought about opening a bottle of wine, but considering she had an empty stomach, decided that wouldn’t be a good idea.
She could feel her cell phone in her pocket. It hadn’t made any new noises, but that didn’t mean she’d forgotten it was there, nor had she forgotten the unanswered messages it contained. She pulled it out and called Renie.
And Then You Fall (Crested Butte Series) Page 6